STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
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Lexica I literally just saw that article about Sarah Thomas and thought gosh, I can't even get my arm straight over my head or straight out at my side yet.
To your point, the limited mobility (and pain that comes with it) is invisible to others. But it sure as hell hurts and bothers me.
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edj3: My arm also hurts and it bothers me ... My RO says that she don't see traces of lymphedema... I think I have an elbow dislocation due to the position of the arm during my surgery. Now my armpit tendon protrudes in such a way that I am even afraid to stretch it too much for fear of being cut ... this is so surreal ...
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Yeah I don't think I have lymphedema either, although I'm dutifully seeing the Occupational Therapist nearly every week. My next appointment is Monday and I'm going to ask about radiation induced fibrosis and see what she thinks. This blows.
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Pink; I'm going to have to find out how many HR I have at "the company". But, I'll try again when I gather more information.
Lexica: It is so tough overplaying (as they see it) the cancer card. Like I've said elsewhere, It took me more than two years to find any reference to PCCI (see above, Chemo brain), even though it's shrouded history of studies began around 2010. Obviously all of my doctors believe that I'm not experiencing the extreme of it, therefore I'm subject to tediously slow in coming tests in order to prove it.
edj3 & Yndorian1: It took quite a while for me to get my arm strait up above my head. I can't recall when. At work, I used to manipulate heavy record boxes (70 LBS?) and found interesting ways to re-stack them. Can't do that anymore. Repetitive light tasks give me pains similar to arthritis or carpal tunnel, but all the way up to my shoulder (if I do it too long). I've become a different person thanks to this. AAAAEEEEEEE!
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Yndorian and Edj3, one move and one move only helped me with the motion issues and swelling that I have. My swelling is in my arm, armpit, shoulder blade, side and ribs below my breast as well as the breast itself. It can be quite miserable. I watched many videos on massage and stretching. But I was laying down to deal with lower back pain and did this stretch that I've done all my life and HOLY CRACKERS! something broke loose in my chest, hurt like hell, made me cry out. I was sure I had done damage! I was NOT expecting that a lower back exercise would affect my chest and arm movement, but it did! Things got better!
Do this with caution and it is likely going to hurt like mad if you are bound up and scarred like I was. But boy, when things get swelled up now, this is my go-to move and it never fails to get things broke open and loosened up. I hope the picture will post! (I have trouble with pictures). Flex BOTH directions. When your knees bend away from your bad boob side, you will likely feel one hell of a pull across your chest and through the armpit. Yndorian, you are having (in my non medical opinion) cording. There are threads on this site that talk about that and what you can do about it. I had a little bit of it and this move helped some. If you can't get your arms out all the way, just get them out as far as you can and do some stretches anyway. Mas despacio por favor.
This might not help you, but it is the only thing that helped me.
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Runor: I will definitely try it when I finish rads. My RO forbade me any massage or stretching because she is afraid that the skin will break ...
It was your swelling due to surgery or is was lymphedema? Can there be inflammation that is not due to lymphedema? The edges of my incision are inflamed but nobody seems to worry about that. I have only one incision about 10 cm long since the tumor was near the armpit
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Yikes Artista!!!
I thought that one was meant for me. I'm ducking. lol....
GP
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No you're good gp. Perhaps it's about someone irl..
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Us Irish have a way of irritating.....it's all that red hair!
GP
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Ha! So do Iranians. We don't know always know egg shells.
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Anyone else see more non juul vaping ads than before? The solution is to ban ads like they did cigs long ago. Make it like marijuana is in some states as needing a rx from a dr for those who are smokers who are trying to cut down or quit.
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When nicotine patches first came out 30? years ago, you needed a rx to buy them. Now you can get them over the counter. But by comparison to vaping, aren't there an awful lot more cigarette connected deaths? Just wondering.
Don't do either but about 150 years ago I did smoke. Tough habit to break but I was very young when I stopped, after only a couple of years of trying to look 'cool' with a fag in my hand, so it was easy for me.
GP
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Everything inhaled is unhealthy to some degree unless you are on pure oxygen. Pollution is a big one. So purposely adding anything else which at the very least is questionable I don't get. I tried to look cool in hs by trying to smoke but luckily I hated it, same with drinking. Glad you stopped gp.
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Me too Artista. Clean as a whistle now. No alcohol either. - Kidney probs. So I feel entitled occasionally to pig out on chocolate, lol
GP
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Today I'm angry at the whole world.
I'm angry at my husband for telling a friend of his that I'm fine but just need find a way to get over it (in an instant message) and I'm angry at myself for reading it because I didn't have any business doing that. Who does he think he is saying that stuff about me? I'm fine??? No, I'm not fine. I'm a whole lot of things in life but fine isn't any of them. Stupid husband.
I'm angry at my job because it doesn't interest me anymore. I've outgrown it and I'm scared to leave it and go to a situation where I don't have any sick or vacation time accrued and then God forbid I get sick again and I'm up a creek. I also hate working here now that I've been through this whole cancer crap. I hate the false kindness of my coworkers because a year ago we barely spoke and now they're all "be kind to her, she had cancer". I hate the pity looks. I want to work somewhere where no one knows I had cancer. It's none of their damn business anyway. Stupid work.
I'm angry at the scale for having the nerve to go up in numbers. Stupid scale. And I'm angry at my pants for getting smaller. Stupid pants.
I'm angry because I offhandedly said to my husband that I can't remember the last time that I felt truly good and then I realized that I do remember the last time I felt really good. Nov 13, 2018. The day before I started chemo. Stupid cancer.
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Try Hazel-Nut , you know what you have to do "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."
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Another celebrity died of breast cancer. Yes "died of breast cancer".
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That is really sad. I mostly remember her from the House Hunters. I do like how she added the googly eyes and lips to her tumour. My god that must have been painful but what a good sense of humour at the same time. Condolences to family, friends and even fans. She will be missed.
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I'm so happy I found a place I can vent!!! in march I found out my cancer was found in my bones. Then I went on Ibrance, Faslodex and Xgeva that has completely set me back 100 steps. within a few weeks of taking these meds and injections my white, red and platelets all dropped dramatically and my body has not been able to recover. I go every other week to get a blood transfusion. I have no energy and the pain is horrible! I can't take Advil it messes up my stomach. I hurt my shoulder back in January that's when I figured out the cancer came back and then a few weeks ago my right shoulder began to hurt. After an X-ray they found another lesion in my shoulder. so now I can't really use my arms, I feel like a T-Rex. I go for scans next week and Im pretty positive that its spread to my liver. I hate feeling like this because prior to cancer I was active, I never stayed home, I worked out everyday and now I'm home all the time. because my life has changed, ive lost friends because I don't have the energy to hang out anymore. my family is super worried about me. but I'm done! Im pretty miserable. I hate the thought that I still have so much life ahead of me that I probably won't see.
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Momdin: I'm sorry. All that is happening to you is very hard. I'm glad you can find relief ranting here. I hope your liver scan come back clean and your arms improve with treatment. Good vibes to your way ❤
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Bless your heart I am so sorry Momdin. BC is such an insidious disease. Having it metastasized to the bones is treatable but if it goes elsewhere not as successful. That happened to my sister. Her’s travelled to her liver and kidneys like a runaway train. Very aggressive unfortunately and sadly her medical team couldn’t stop the progression even with chemo. I hope that’s not the case for you.
Keep the faith you never know.
Diane
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LIstening to an interview of a group of authors who have written a collection of essays on how their brush with death changed their lives.
One woman said, "I hate to admit it but before this happened to me I lived like one of those people you meet who you come to recognize as Life Entitled" And I thought, brilliant! Exactly! Yes! That's it! BEFORE breast cancer I was probably just like her. In fact, if I am honest (if we all are honest) we all lived like we were Life Entitled. You are removed from that happy, privileged, exclusive club when you find out that no, you are not life entitled, in fact you are Guaranteed Dead (always were, by the way) but now you get to Know about it and Think about it and Never get a break from it.
We all have moments where friends and family and significant other simply do not get it. It is frustrating and maddening and very galvanizing for us because we realize how alone we are in this. Even those of us who are amazingly supported are, ultimately, alone. It's you and no one but you who has treatments and scans and pain. Just you. No one can step in and do it for you, even if you had a line up of people who willingly would. But I thought the term Life Entitled so perfectly summed up that dense, thick dumbness that some people seem to offer. They are Life Entitled. You used to be and now, you're not.
I think I'm going to get a bunch of lapel buttons printed and carry them in my purse. When someone spouts off at me all the ways I should be living my life - while totally getting it wrong - I am going to reach in my purse and offer them a button to wear. It will have the letters LET printed across a pink (what else, gag) background. I will tell them "Thank you for your kind words, you have helped me, I want you to have this button as a mark of my deep gratitude. It stands for Lovingly Extended Touch." What it REALLY stands for is Life Entitled Twit.
Life Entitled. Yup, that's the thing we all used to have, don't no more, but still find ourselves dealing with from others. That lady in the interview nailed it. Had to share.
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Nah, I knew I wasn't "Life Entitled" long before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. There are other life events that can make that abundantly clear.
Actually, given the environment in which I grew up and my family's history (some escaped the Nazis and some didn't), I doubt I was ever "Life Entitled", even as a child.
As far back as I can remember, I've always considered people with a "Life Entitled" attitude to be naive. I've alway known that one day something would happen that would force them to crash into reality. Truth is, many don't face this reality until old age. They are lucky.
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Gosh, I've never gotten to be Life Entitled! Where do I sign up for my turn? Better late than never.
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Sorry, I have never had the privilege of experiencing "Life Entitled" and definitely do not have it now. I agree with Beesie in that some of my lived experiences have made this crystal clear that this was not my lot in life. Truthfully, my coping skills have been taxed to the max even before BC.
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Runor. What a fabulous post. Not sure that I was "Life Entitled", since my Dad went to war when I was 8, so always knew something really bad could happen at anytime. But, mostly life flowed, and things were good even with hubby in the military. That ended abruptly when my youngest brother was diagnosed with Hodgkins. Then my Dad with colon cancer....sister with breast cancer...one distant second cousin....Dad's death...one first cousin...second first cousin....me...Mom. Ugh. I hate this disease with a real passion. But I would love to have some of those buttons!!
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Runor, I never considered Life Entitled. I do have some people around me that are truly LET’s. There is a lot of truth in not thinking about death pre-diagnosis and after diagnosis it’s like a shadow. It’s always there. Cancer shatters our innocence and naivety. I was Life Entitled. We raised a sibling group of three from Ukraine. Our parenting years were very difficult. Then I was the caregiver for my Mom and Dad and they lived in our home for almost four years. They passed in 2012. When my husband retired a few years ago we took a deep sigh of relief and looked forward to our time together. We were planning to downsize and move to a kinder, gentler area...less traffic, less crime...maybe to the mountains. We were planning our bucket list trips. Then WHAM! Now I am spending $20,000 a year for health insurance before insurance begins to cover anything. Scans, MRI’s, sonograms all get paid out of my pocket until I reach that magic number of $8,000 (deductible). So yes, I get the Life Entitled concept.
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Just wanted to let you know Lita has passed away. I so admired her honesty. May she est in peace.
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RIP💔💔
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RIP Lita. 💔😥
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