STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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I think it was utter insanity to send sick people A) to hospitals and
back to long term care facilities. When importing foreign livestock they spend time in quarantine, which means we do NOT plunk them on a farm with domestic cattle and wait to see how it goes. No. Separate facilities. Separate. Canada had money to throw around paying people to stay home and other spendy things that have impoverished our kids for the next 200 years, but we couldn't have erected and outfitted emergency medical units? We do it in other countries! We swoop in and set up field hospitals. Would it have been difficult? Yes. But who gives a shit. Overcome the damn difficulty and get it done! We have a virus, a contagion, DO NOT LET IT IN THE HOSPITAL WHERE THE OTHER SICK PEOPLE ARE!!! It's like no one had the balls to think outside the box and move the newly ill to a different box and keep them separate. Then, away from the main hospital population they could have had their families with them and SHOULD have! Instead we stuffed them in hospitals, kept their families away and said, oh it's a necessity for everyone's safety. BULLSHIT! It was the result of some office dweeb, or several, who couldn't find their own asshole with two hands who failed to THINK and SOLVE and INNOVATE when the occasion required it. It was an absolute failure of creative, preventative problem solving. Instead we locked up healthy populations! Closed schools and businesses, damned everyone as a Typhoid Mary, a super spreader, tarred and feathered our fellow citizens with the accusation of being diseased, dirty, a threat to our safety, they must be vaccinated, they must stay away, oh my god people are trying to kill me! And now it's a moral division of the good and the bad as to who masks and who vaccinated. How did this get so twisted and screwed up?
I was looking around to find what current covid vaccines are not mrna types. Looks like they pretty much all are (the big 4 names we all mostly hear anyway) the difference being the carriers (I am sure this is oversimplified). Then I came across an article about a VSV vaccine, a method that has been used in humans in various ways since the 70s and how there was work being done to develop this way of delivering a covid vaccine but in the end it was found not to be effective and studies went no further. (if I understood everything correctly, there was a lot of information to absorb). It also points out that in the raising of research money these drug companies buy each other and sink their competitors research or conduct other business dealings that have nothing to do with saving humanity or working for the greater good. No. There is a lack of altruism when making money, and I mean obscene amounts of it, are the main goal of the decision makers. It is demoralizing. BUt the last paragraph of the article makes a claim that made my blood stop. One of the developers of this VSV vaccine said it was administered by injection into the arm muscle, no wonder it failed. It was never intended to be delivered that way. It was designed as an oral dose or up the nose spray. But someone injected it. Stupidly. And a possibly KNOWN and safe alternative to mrna was cast aside, because people are stupid. Or evil. Or both. If I can get a dose of that stuff, tested or not, I think I would snort it over the mrna vaccines that I remain very suspicious of.0 -
How did it get so screwed up? We failed to act early enough. Just needed 6 weeks.
Field hospitals? Montreal doesn't have big expanses of open areas. We do have old hospitals that were reopened. We had some hospitals with designated areas for covid patients. These were expanded. My mega hospital converted undeveloped spaces. But we have a limited supply of HCWs. We did get help from the military.
Sick patients to hospitals and LTC and back? Some LTC patients never were taken to the hospital, probably most. Life years as you say.
Separate facilities? We tried. Within a LTC, they tried separate hot zone and cold zones. It still spread. Outbreaks occurred elsewhere. Something about the virus being very contagious even asymptomatically.
Having families nearby? How do you think some outbreaks started? LTC and birthing centres had outbreaks from family members who hid their travel history or symptoms. Even now parents are sending their kids to school when the family had been exposed.
Montrealers travel more than most communities, and our winter break occurred just before the March 2020 lockdown. Our cases came mostly from Europe and the US. Ultra bad luck in timing for us.
There was mismanagement. But people were careless and people lied. This is not unique to Montreal. Some people are resisting contact tracing which would help reduce transmission. Travelers refusing to quarantine. It doesn't take that many to ruin things for everyone. Better mask up while you look for the Goldilocks vaccine.
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DogMomRunner I don't think my meaning came through. My MIL is 84, and she's had a great life. I'm lucky to have had her be my MIL for nearly 18 years. She's in no pain, her care team treat her wonderfully. No complaints there at all, I only wish she lived closer so we could see her more often and thank her care givers more often (now that we can actually visit).
But much as Beesie's dad felt, so too I feel for me. That is not how I want to go out of this world. And I sometimes wonder if she were more fully aware, what would my MIL say?
BC in CO, I too hope that you are able to stay at home
I know that's what I would want.0 -
astrazeneca is a not for profit vaccine - just mentioning it as some allegations of pharmaceutical companies doing dodgy things was raised. The AZ is also not mRNA.
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runor, I had the Astra Zeneca. It's adenovirus, not mRNA. J&J is adenovirus as well.
I had my first shot (still awaiting the second) just as the AZ clotting stories were really hitting the news, so I had to think hard about whether to take it. I decided that the risk from clots was low enough in my age group that I wouldn't worry about that. It also happens that these unusual brain clots are tied to low platelets, and I have a genetic mutation that makes me prone to high platelets - I suppose that might not reduce my (already extremely low) risk of the clot associated with the AZ shot, but it made me feel more comfortable. If the clot had beenassociated with high platelets, I would have stayed away. Although the clinical trial results on the AZ vaccine seemed to indicate less protection than Pfizer or Moderna, the clinical trials were all run differently, which could explain the different results. More importantly, the real world results from the UK, where at that time they had already administered 13 million doses of the AZ vaccine, showed equal results to Pfizer (they'd administered about 9 million of those at that time), with 80%+ protection after the first dose. In Ontario our second doses are being delayed so that more people can be given first doses; another plus for me in favour of AZ was that AZ was the only vaccine that had tested a 12 week interval between doses, and the results (in terms of protection from Covid) were better at 12 weeks than at 4. (Note that this week similar results came out on Pfizer; meanwhile, most people given Pfizer received their second dose at 3 or 4 weeks, although not in Ontario). Lastly, while I would have taken the Pfizer or Moderna mRNA vaccines if offered, I felt a bit more comfortable with a traditional adenovirus vaccine (at least once I got past the blood clot window).
Of course these days AZ vaccines are hard to come by and the few that Canada has are being held for second doses.
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I have done a clinical rotation in residential care and one thing that stood out for me is how many people were full code, ie they did not want a DNR/DNI order. For a handful it was clearly the family making the decision & not the resident, but the rest were compos mentis and they choose to keep being there. So some people really want that quantity.
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I have wondered if people on tamoxifen, who seem to have a higher than normal blood clot risk are more at risk than the average person of a vaccine induced blood clot event? I have not tried to find information on this. Just a thought that floated through my head.
I think it's the use of a previously used vaccine delivery / construction method that made me think the J&J would be the one I would be most likley to take. Plus it's a one shot vaccine, no going back for a second helping. I am needle phobic! It's a problem.
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moth, that's interesting.
I think the challenge for many people is defining the point at which they don't want to go on. For my father and my 96 year old friend, I was present when they reached that point; in both cases the ailments/restrictions were physical, so they were able to coherently and rationally explain how they felt. Because of the progression of various conditions that he had, my father probably could have defined 5-7 years earlier the point at which he would say that he didn't want to go on. But for my friend, who was hit by surprise with a new physical ailment, I don't know that even 6 months earlier he would have known that he'd come to this point in such a short time. That's the difficulty when people are deciding whether to sign a DNR/DNI. So much of it is "it depends". And if "it depends", then better to not sign one.
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Beesie, Hub and I were just discussing something in a similar vein. We have a friend who passed away. He was a collector. Collector being the polite word for it. He left his partner with a terrible, terrible mess to clean up. Acres of it. She has been utterly overwhelmed and demoralized by the task. She has been at it for almost two years. Friend was on a decline health-wise for a number of years. Ever decreasing physical ability, increasing ailments and pain. Loss of energy and loss of joy in living. Hub said, Boy, he should have cleaned this up when he knew how bad off he was. But that's just the thing, isn't it? By the time you realize, finally, how bad off you are, by the time you quit hoping it will just go away (I do this with my wrinkles, one good night's sleep and that wrinkle will be gone - wrong!) you no longer have the energy, drive or focus to dig in an clean up 50 or 60 years of gathering! By the time you realize life has lost it's flavour and all it is is pain, the LAST thing you want to do is begin the immense process of cleaning up your mess. So it gets left to someone else. A burden.
I maintain that the clean up must be done while one feels good! HUb and I butt heads over this. He feels that as long as he feels good enough to be interested in anything then he is allowed to gather, keep, pile up and hoard all the things that he might, maybe, kind of, could possibly do some day. I'm the opposite. I say NOW is the time to make decisions and take actions so that we never find ourselves elderly, ill, with no energy and no interest in cleaning up, but with a whole lot of cleaning up to do. I think I am on the losing end of this argument. I have threatened to hire a salvage company to just come in and start hauling shit out. And I might. Tamoxifen makes one do crazy things! So does unrelenting mess.
I think the time to ponder these life quality vs quantity issues is when they are not staring you in the face. The time to get one's house in order is now. Because later we might not have the mental energy, focus, will or even ability to ponder what needs pondering.
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Boy do I agree with sooner rather than later, runor. I am going through some of that w/ my own mother. She's nearly 84, dad is nearly 80 and they are slowing way down--all normal and natural. But the time to make a move into a smaller place or an apartment at a LTC facility is now, when they are still somewhat mobile and can express themselves clearly.
But nope. My mom told me Saturday "oh it'll be at least a year before we move out of this house--guess maybe I could work on paring down our belongings BUT! I don't want it to look like we're trying to sell our home or anything!" Never mind that her heart disease is getting worse, dad's got some issues w/ his diabetes despite excellent diet/exercise, and that they live in Idaho (I am in Kansas City, my sister is in Denver, it takes a hot minute to get out there).
I did tell her if she and dad go, I'd recommend we hire an estate sale company to dispose of everything b/c none of the kids want any more stuff. We have enough. And I urged her to at least start clearing out her sewing room, she's hoarded fabric nearly all my life and I'm 61.
And that's my rant today.
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thanks edj3. Figure I am still being screened for cancer and fight this off as long as I can. Would love to be able to see grandkids graduate high school if I could. Youngest is just finishing kindergarten though so it will be a miracle if I make it. One or other is going to get me before then I have a feeling.
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agree on the clean out. Several years ago I said something to DH about his tools. He was a carpenter handyman. With a BOATLOAD of tools. How many table saws did he need? Other saws? Hand tools. He didn’t do it. I have no idea what they’re worth. Come cooler weather I’ll have a yard sale and get rid of them. But I shouldn’t have to. He should have.
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I'll throw in a little humor here. I read an Instagram post recently that said something to the effect that "When I'm dead, and my relatives have to go through my stuff, they're going to say, 'WTF??? WTH???' " It struck me as funny. I have a friend in a knitting group that I used to attend (pre-COVID) and I've told her that she will get to clean out all of my knitting supplies: needles, yarn, accessories. I told her that she's going to be saying "WTF??? How many sets of circular, size US 7 needles does one person need?" Apparently A LOT!
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Years and years ago I sent my mom a postcard about never throwing anything away . It depicted a middle age woman surrounded by yogurt/cottage cheese etc containers, plastic bags etc. She was holding up one container "I have lots more of these". She proudly put it on the refrigerator. I tend to keep more than I need,but the bags are always good for poop bags.
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Getting older I do strive to one day become a minimalist. It's going to take me a few years though. My hubs was self employed as a handyman so you can imagine the collection. The first thing to go was his work van. It was always such a mess and when he died I just didn't want to see it let alone deal with all the stuff in it. My wonderful son took it away and he has what stuff he wanted. I still have three sheds to sort through. I thought maybe I should just get a dumpster, but rather instead of spending money, we can scrap the metal-depending on pricing. It's a sort job that we just haven't done yet. Now I have a cottage on the bay that is getting a collection of tools and stuff. It's never ending. Doing OK at the moment not getting too overwhelmed with it all. I made sort of game out of scavenger hunting for things I may need to work around the house and the cottage. It was sandpaper this past weekend. Found some, so that's what I did sanded some drywall. Such fun!! Not.
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My DH would take wet rags over the drywall seams. Really worked well, cut down the dust.
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When my in-laws passed and we had to clean out the house my mother-in-law had been a hoarder. A VERY organized hoarder so you really would not realize it. We carried truckloads to dump of just junk no one would want. After everyone got what they wanted from the house the rest went to Goodwill or for donation. She would buy up school supplies when they went on sale when the grandkids were in school every single year since they baby sat a lot in case they needed "spiral notebooks" or pencils or hole punches or post-it notes or index cards. She had plastic dividers and everything! A lot were donated to school for teachers to have for students who could not afford them (daughter is a teacher in a rural district). Was a pain.
When got cancer and hubby had transplant we decided we did not want our kids to go through that. Knew some of what we had is probably "worth something" made a list and have in a file so the kids will know when they go through stuff and not decide it is all something they do need/want and give away. If they can sell it they should. Some are maybe worth nothing but family heirlooms and they should keep.
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My MIL is/was a hoarder. When we cleaned out her house it was a nightmare. A few months prior she told us her cat fluffy had been raptured. I told my husband to go over to look for the cat.He didn't find it..but not sure how good he looked. Well months later at the house I found fluffy.... dead and stuck to the floor under a dresser. She is 93 now and in assisted living. She continues to hoard as much as she can. When things like plastic bags, old cookie packages etc "disappear" she says people are stealing her things. Sad.
Ctmbsika, please do take your metal in for scrap. At least it will be recycled and you will get some $
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I worked in the veterinary field before I started working in long term care. My mindset is and has always been quality of life over quantity. And as long as assistance with death (whether human or animal) is done out of compassion not convenience, then I think it is the individual's (or their advocate's) right to have that help. I fully support death with dignity and physician assisted death.
The problem is that a large part of society believe that assistance with death is wrong or against god. And that living a long life (no matter how tortuous) is the ideal. And I have have residents as well as family members who feel that way. I personally don't feel that way. And I hope that a traumatic and quick fall takes my mom out long before she reaches the worst stages of dementia. Because otherwise she is a very healthy individual.
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Dementia is the absolute worst! Both my mother and mother in-law had it. My mother had ZERO short term memory. In a 2 week span of my father dying and me moving in with her, she totally forgot him!!! It was uncanny. One of the hardest days of my life was taking her out of her home of 55+ years to assisted living. Thankfully I have 2 brothers and a sister and we all get along so we had a schedule going and someone visited her everyday. My work at the time was 2 minutes away, and so was the hospital. FMLA was also a godsend. She did really well over the summer, but once the cold weather came, so did the hospital visits. She suffered complete delirium there. I spent many many hours trying to keep her calm. I always hated leaving her. She then started asking about Dad, did he know where she was? Her last words to me were: "Diane you better go and make your Dad a sandwich" I think that was her way of telling me I didn't have to stay and watch her die. I left after the 1st dose of Ativan. She passed peacefully that night.
My mother in-law was delusional. She thought her husband was cheating on her, but he was really leaving 3 days a week at 5am for dialysis. So I would get up at 4:30am and sit with her until 7 for fear of her running off to go find him. I had never experienced delusions before. They are REAL to the person having them and it was really really hard to get the family to understand DO NOT try and tell her any different. It caused her absolute grief to the point she was close to hurting herself as no one believed her. They were upset with me, but I medicated her everyday to let the poor man have some rest. Thank you Abilify! It was just utter madness and I'm so glad it's over. No surprise I was diagnosed with the bc at this time as well. I truly will take my caregiving experience into consideration as I may choose to never do it again. I've instructed my children that should this happen to me, they are NOT to uproot their lives to take care of me. You take me to a home, drop me off, and you don't have to come back if you don't want to. Hubs cousin had her girls sign a paper saying they are not to place her in a home. I could never do that, but I do respect a difference of opinion.
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Today my mind is unsettled. I don't think I'll ever be the same, so at what point do you just accept it (the new normal) and go on? The old ball and chain. Just dragging it through life. Sometimes we're strong and it's like it's not there, other times it's smothering you to the point you can't move. Cant' go anywhere. My back has been bothering me. Do I really want to know if something's going on? It could be a multitude of things from minor to major to absolutely nothing! The irrational part of my brain won't stop thinking about it. I'm already visioning more tests, should I even say something! Stop it! No, just stop! This is what goes on in my head. Just writing this down is a good coping mechanism for me. I gave it it's due time, now go do something else. I am always careful when climbing ladders or carrying stuff up and down stairs due to having osteoporosis and not having any treatment for it.
I'm starting training class again next week. It's just an hour but it's a start -maybe that will help? All I've been doing is walking mostly and doing whatever I can do at the house and at that damn bay cottage is my physical activity. The bay project may be the death of me. I am a bit more stable over it. There are things I cannot do, nor coordinate, so I'll let things play out. The electricity has been turned on so I'm half way to my goal which was to have electric and water by hubs' 1 yr. mark. which is Mon. the 24th. Not going to make it, but I didn't totally fail either. Set a new goal of Father's Day for running water. I hope the first poop I take there is a healthy one!!! So mad as hell he won't see it finished.
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ctm, I'm glad you came here to vent. I'm sorry for all you're going through. I wish we could all "fix it" for each other.
Know that you are cared for.
(((hugs)))
Carol
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Would that not be great if we could magically "fix" things"? Of course if we could we never would have had cancer to start with!
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To All: once and a rare while I watch "Hoarding: Buried Alive" - I joke that I watch so I feel better about my housekeeping. No - I don't keep pizza boxes, the plumbing works, pots/pans/dishes get washed and put away, there are no bugs in the fridge, you don't have to cut a path through junk to get from one end to the other. Wow - I could not live like that. But we have a lot of "stuff". Nearly 50 years of living together, hobbies, and books, books, books. A vinyl records collections that dates back to both of us when we were in our teens and right up until Cd's arrived. I still have my 1963 Rolling Stones "England's Newest Hit Makers" -- in incredibly good shape. I took good care of my records as a teen. Maybe that will be worth something to someone when I shuffle off. We have a lot of the books in a locker. I sometimes think my DH hopes we will win the lottery and build a house with a library.
ctm: I am sorry that your husband won't see the cabin. I hope that aches and pains are related to physical work. It is crazy how what used to be "damn, I must have pulled or banged my_______(fill n the blank) " now it is "OMG, has it spread to my hips? My elbow? My pinky finger?" It is a wonder that any of us present as sane!
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We used to move every 3‐4 years, so we automatically purged before each move. It's amazing the things you'll let go, rather than put it in a box, take it out of a box, find a place for it...
Now it's been 18 years since we moved and stuff accumulates so fast! I swear it multiplies in the closets. I've been purging incrementally - it's easier to part with things that way. I really don't want anyone else to have to deal with my littles boxes and folders of things I used to think were important.
Now purging my wardrobe is a whole other story! Lol
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Elderberry, OMG this is perfect! --
It is crazy how what used to be "damn, I must have pulled or banged my_______(fill n the blank) " now it is "OMG, has it spread to my hips? My elbow? My pinky finger?" It is a wonder that any of us present as sane!
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When we were active military it forced us to "look" at our stuff every time we moved and had weight limits on moving which helped us "purge" stuff. Since he got out and we have been here for over 20 years now...............kids are grown now..........trying to get them to take their stuff. Stuff we thin they need to keep and could not talk them into taking right now are in big plastic bins with their names on and stored in the garage.
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Elderberry - I am pretty good at tossing things and would love to toss a lot of Hub's things if he wouldn't have a stroke. I also have vinyl from my younger days. But I also have the stereo I had when I was 16! Every now and then I blow the dust off, drop the needle on one of those records, turn up those speakers the size of refrigerators and BLAST the neighbourhood with a dose of oh...Fleetwood Mac, Supertramp, Toto, The Cars, Pink Floyd...on it goes. I even dance. Like a lumpy old hippo. But it works well to dislodge all the cobwebs in the basement. I think your vinyl is going to be valuable to someone. But my thoughts would be if you are not listening to them now and dancing about gracelessly, don't keep them for someone else someday. Put them out for sale now so some collector can be thrilled to get your treasure and you can be thrilled to know it went to someone who really wants it and not to the dump because it's a burden that needs to be dealt with. And now I think I'm going to so put some Doctor Hook on the turntable and sing along to Sylvia's Mother. Oh yeah.
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runor: my sister is a huge pink floyd fan. one time my son rode from buffalo to N.C. with her on vacation....that's all she played. He said he never wanted to hear another song by them again! LOL.
ctmbsika: seems projects always take longer than you think they will. soon you will be able to enjoy.
I have a dr appt this tues. swelling in the right side of my clavicle. hoping it's nothing.
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runor - my favorite part about music is how it can transport you to another time and place.
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