STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Someone donated elastagel hand mits and feet covers or I was going to do the frozen veggies... I put them on just before treatment! This was my first cold cap 50 minutes prior to the taxotere start. I have heard great things about the mits and feet covers - so glad someone donated them because I was tapped out. Taking very good care of them so they go right back to the cancer center social worker and can go on to the next person. Thank you for the encouragement and pointing out to everyone!
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Excellent! Glad you got that covered, and glad to see you being so upbeat. *big hugs*
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Ok, glad I can rant here. (No need to reply, I'll work this *%#+ out soon. Just angry at the moment.) Dear Doctors, Oncologists & Surgeons, While I deeply appreciate your work to remove the cancers, & attempt to rebuild what was removed, I'd appreciate you a lot more if you would promptly address my post surgical pains, Lymphedema & infection pains. I don't want to keep hearing that I shouldn't be in pain when....clearly...I am (or I wouldn't be calling you for assistance w/it & keeping a pain diary + doing my exercises to alleviate the situation.) You shredded my body only a few weeks ago & you need to step up & accept responsibility to help it HEAL, too. I'm no sissy & not a whiner. Just need some extra assistance w/healing from the pain of it all. Do your job properly w/patients who have a lower pain tolerance. (It's genetic, if you'd bother to look at my chromosomes & genomes.) Sincerely, The Patient Who Trusted YOU
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Goodness, sweetie, it's not even about "low pain tolerance". I have HIGH pain tolerance and I was in horrible pain. And when they tried to give me the "you shouldn't be in pain" flack I ripped them a new one. At one point I know that I told one of them "are you seriously trying to imply that a cancer patient who just had major surgery and got cut front and back is somehow faking pain to get opiates? Anyway, do me a favor and give me IN WRITING that you do not think I am in pain and I will happily go for a second opinion."
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7of9, that's a great pic!!! Hope it helps.
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Jumpship - if you work in Ohio that is technically illegal. 6 hours must have minimum 15 - 30 min break. Not sure if you have an HR contact you can trust?
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Is it just me or does anyone else get tired of hearing how someone else survived so many years later and is doing great after you're complaining of your side effects and not knowing if you'll have the same fate? It seems to be the automatic response to every complaint I have. Well I know so and so who is x # years out and is doing great. Ok, so yeah I hope it's me too but a little sorry to hear or a "hug" would be nice instead of just reminding me of how it's almost over.
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Artista, that reminds me of the dumbass woman who was all "solicitous" (don't get me wrong here, I know the woman is nothing but a backstabbing biotch) and hugged me and told me she could understand perfectly what I was going through as she had gone through that years and years prior, and I'll feel fine in no time. When I asked what type and grade and what treatments she went through she said "oh I don't remember, it was just a lumpectomy and that was it and it was 20 years ago". Couldn't stop myself at that point and snarled at her "you had just a lumpectomy with no treatment? and that was it but you understand perfectly what I'm going through when I had BMX, the muscles from my back were torn and put on my chest, I went through chemo and AI treatment and you KNOW I'll be fine in no time?"
It's up to you, either scratch that and don't pay any attention to it, or just be snarky and in their face. There is no other option to make you be less stressed.
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How about when your husband asks how you are feeling, doesn't wait for a reply and just inserts "better today right?" When I start to list my aches he adds something about his back muscles he strained in jujitsu the other week. Not something I want to call trump on but PLEASE STFU.
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^^ Oh man that pisses me off. A good friend of mine tries to trump my woes by not really listening and talking about how his back hurts. It's like a contest at times. He wants to know how I'm feeling but yet I usually hear some woe he has either trying to console me in some weird manly way or one up me.
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Let me start by saying: &%$#* @%$! *&%^
My whole &*^% life now is grieving the loss of my 21 year old son and then dealing with this %^%$ cancer that took over 10 months later. Lost my son, my breasts, my lymph nodes, my job, my identity, my self-esteem and most of my social network.....
Thank you for this thread.
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Tosaca. You go ahead and bitch and complain all you need to here. Sharing your pain and anger helps us find each other in this dark shitstorm. Here, it is a beacon of light we can all bind to just like our great grandfather's did when drafted and sent to wars they were too scared or didn't want to fight. I lost my job 2 1/2 months before my first diagnosis and my dad died of a heart attack ten days after my surgery. I can't imagine loosing a child and dealing with this too.
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Tosca, if ANYONE deserved to bitch about something, it is YOU my dear. Tell your Mom I said to mind her own business. Grieving is individual and there is no right or wrong way to do it. You have the right to be pissed off to the max. Your losses are profound and huge and if I were you, I would see someone professionally so you can dump some of this hurt and anger off so it does not eat you alive. You have every right to be feeling all of the feelings you are feeling and it must be very difficult for you right now. Also, a doctor can give you meds to help you through the very worst days. Hugs and know that we are here to listen anytime you need to vent or bitch. ((((Tosca))))
Edited to add that tell your Mom it takes YEARS for most BC to grow so your "grieving incorrectly" has NOTHING to do with your BC! NADA, ZILCH, NOTHING! She needs to learn more about this disease before saying anything like that.
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So I had my lumpectomy,then another surgery for clear margins a week later,finished 6 weeks of chemo and now going through radiation. I had a 3%-4% chance of developing lymphedema and sob if I didn't get it! So now I have PT 3 times a week along wit radiation 5 days a week and I live almost an hour away from the cancer center. I had severe fatigue and muscle pain from the chemo and now after 1 month out from the chemo my muscles still ache and make it hard for me to get around. I am trying not to complain about it but I am having a difficult time still.My Rant is Family and friends think I should be all better now since I have "the hard part behind me" (chemo).....lol! I feel as if I need to be feeling better now and get on with the easy part of this cancer. ..lol.I am sick and tired of hearing stories of how so and so did so well with their cancer treatment and they are 5-10 years cancer free! Well I'm not bouncing back quickly and I don't think my body will ever feel right again. I ACHE EVERYDAY! and now must not complain to much either! People seem to get tired of me feeling bad. Should I still be feeling this bad
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There are folks who are dealing with permanent SEs years out. You can't put a time frame on any one of us. If they haven't had cancer before, they don't know what it is/could be like even years out. That's one reason I didn't tell my fam except my bro who isn't like this. I was hospitalized for a breakdown for a week a few years ago and once released, I was to be all better now. Uh. no. I'm better, but not all better. I resent them for not bothering to educate themselves about mental illness. I brought home info so people can learn and they didn't read it and threw it away. So that's when I was done with telling them about any issues with me. My anxiety and depression got me locked up. Hearing how you just need to think positive and I had it to and am fine now about sent me back to the hospital!
So I don't have patience for this crap after that experience. I don't even see them anymore because of them watching Dr Phil and Dr Oz and becoming my providers. And even if any of them had what I had, we are all different. That's the biggest pisser offer for me, act like you know how it is/should be and judge me on it even if you've been through it!
For my mental health, I slowly started showing up less to fam functions until I quit. Extended fam lives 30 min from me and we aren't that terribly close. Mom is in Seattle and Dad is in Irvine. Bro is in Los Angeles. I didn't cut mom and dad out. It's email only now because my excuse since I got bc has been I'm having major anxiety probs again. So that keeps them away as they don't want me to be in the hospital again. The fam across the Bay, nothing except FB happy birthday, new year and such. Mentally, I have never felt better! You have to do what makes you feel best even if it costs some fam/friendships. Cut the negative out and everything seems easier to manage.
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F*ck f*ck f*ck...I need double mastectomy. Yes, I know many ladies on this forum have been through that. How do you cope with it?
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I actually wanted BMX. My breasts were too big, dense and heavy. I'm in tissue expanders now until I finish rads and recover from it before perm implants. To me that's the only good thing that came out of this journey is breasts that don't sag to my stomach.
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I am so, so sorry, Emily4me ! Lymphedema SUCKS. I knew I was going to get it (double mx plus all nodes removed plus mega rads in the armpit) and I just did last week....my fingers doubled in size, which is fascinating and also disgusting. I so hope for you that your case is mild. I can barely turn a doorknob or type. Hugs to you!
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My rant is little less intense - but I want my damned self centered sister to stop treating me as if I'm going to die!! This is even after my 23 year old daughter lit in to her. And she can also stop sending me those stupid memes - they do NOT help. She means well, and wants to support, but holy crap, every time I talk to her, I get an urge to check my will.
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Not fun but so doable. Now the girls will match! I ran the sweeper and had a cookout a week after my BMX (shhhhhh) Not sure if you had it on both sides (I did not) then the odds drop to under 1% vs 20% odds of developing on non-cancer side anyhow. I said I'd take that cut in odds and run with it....
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7of9, I'm dealing for the third time with cancer. I'd be crazy if I don't do the BMX. It's just that I can't imagine myself without breast. Reconstruction is not an option, not any time soon, anyhow.
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I'm in your boat Moreshoes. BMX, no reconstruction anytime soon. have to have my at different times though Too much surgery at once for me if I can work it out. Then rads. Then the wait and see what they didnt get, or if it's somewhere else. Always something to worry about. So I'm choosing not to worry. Planning a hawaii cruise in february.
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MoreShoes, check out "I look for other flat chested women: A rant" thread. I found it after my BMX to find other sisters in the same situation. I was surprised at the number of us who go flat or wear foobs (fake boobs). My motto is, "It's All About the Flatitude".
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Just want to complain about my weight. I had a gastric bypass 16 months ago. Lost 120 lbs. Got cancer diagnosis, gained 30. STILL trying to deal w/emotional eating! Geez, I need to get back on track but having a heck of a time doing it! GRRRRR
Thanks for this forum, I feel better now.
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Needed somewhere to vent today. Really wanted to tell my supervisor to go to hell today. Before my DX of BC, I had just completed a medical assistant course and had planned on looking for a new job. I've been at my current job for 12 years and really have nowhere else to "move up". But now because of the cancer, I have to stay at my job for the medical insurance. I do love my job and most of the people I work with, but it was time for a change. I'm off the schedule in May due to my upcoming surgery. When I saw the schedule which my supervisor and another co-worker were looking at, I made a sad face, that I was going to be off for that time. My supervisor says "it's ok, we'll be here. You may not even come back. Maybe you'll find another job" WTF is she thinking. Does she really think I plan on just leaving. That I'm going to have major surgery and then just say see you. I don't even know, what other treatment I need (chemo ect). Sometimes, I really question if she likes me. It's been more than once. Maybe I'm too sensitive.
Ok......end of rant
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Vlastim, a cruise to Hawaii sounds perfect! I plan to go to Rome next week. The operation would be in May and then have to to do rads.
Kathinc, thanks for the tip. I'll check the thread.
Sensitive, in your mind and here, tell her to go to hell. Aloud thank her for saying she'll be here for you.
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Ladies, anyone having surgery, Please, check out this thread. The topic box will explain.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/73/topics/843381?page=1#idx_4
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thanks so much sas-schatzi.
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MoreShoes, sensi, 709.........Sorry, for everyone's trouble. I had a BMX, I was in the prophy pipeline when BC was found. No regrets. The worst part was I had a really chitty PS that came highly recommended. Bummer. Lot's of complaints asthethically. Like cleavage going sideways, foobs too big for frame when I told him specifically what I wanted discussed many times before sx, and they slide into by armpits when I lay on my back. Other issues too.
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