STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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runor- good for you making your rant & work into something positive. After 25 yrs in corporate world, I tried to offer my skills to some not for profits. I found many of the volunteers were just seeking socialization & not work. And didnt understand business protocols. I gave up, you are more diligent than I was, so good for you!
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Can I have the car?? Good work runor!!
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Spookiesmom, if you like the car, you've got to watch the show. My DH likes the cars, so we watch it. I just think it's a hoot, and yeah, I like some of the cars too.
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darn I’m not in Canada 🤣🤣
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Further clarification. Rust Valley Restorers is a tv show filmed not far from where I live, a stone's throw from Hub's family farm. Rust Valley Restorers appeals to the red-neck, old car crowd. Over the last few years the people featured in this show have become local celebrities and have loaned their fame and faces and time to varied charitable endeavours in this area. People who follow this show are more likely to be the kind who fabricate and build (although not entirely) and quite likely to know what a welding cap is. Not everyone has heard of a welding cap or even knew they were a 'thing'. I got the not-so-bright idea to get the cast of the show to wear and sign welding caps and then offer these caps on auction for charity. So I stitched up several caps for celebrity noggins. Our local hospital is trying to raise money for a mammogram machine (and CT machine). The hospital said it would be a fun idea. Despite the fact that all the people in the show live very busy lives because theirs is a working shop with vehicles on hoists, people with sanders and paint guns, forklifts moving car frames around and general mayhem, they all agreed to put on a cap, take some pics and sign the caps. I am still in a state of disbelief that it even happened. It took months, but it happened. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to both the hospital for saying "go for it!" and the Rust Bros, for saying, 'yup, we're in'. So. Utterly. Awesome.
Anyone, in any country, who is a fan of Rust Bros, can find my Facebook page and enter to win one of these caps. My contest is not limited to Canadians. I do not know if people outside Canada are able to donate to the hospital foundation. I do ask for a donation - that is the entire point of all this effort. But a donation is NOT required to enter the contest. Anyone who thinks it might be fun is invited to enter. PM me for details if anyone is interested. https://www.history.ca/shows/rust-valley-restorers/cast/
I keep trying to get a link in here and it's not working. I have no idea why not.0 -
Runor :what a horrible and kind of funny story.
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Rumor, I'm glad you're continuing with your plan. That said, I did events for a couple of not-for-profits, and if somebody came to us with an event idea, who had no prior affiliation with the organization... well, we'd probably do the polite "That sounds so interesting!" and then hope we didn't hear from them again. The organization's schedule is set far in advance, their budgeting for events has been set, and their staff/volunteer hours are committed. And this sounds like it involved gaming? That's a legal nightmare. You say you'd get the permits and take care of other details, but you wouldn't have the standing to act as a representative of that organization. It's not a personal snub, they are acting under rules they can't break without possibly losing accreditation. But I hope you have great success doing it independently!
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Alice, I agree. What you just explained, that schedules and such are set in advance, could very well have been explained to me by them. Instead of laying it on the table like you did, in a very understandable and reasonable way, they actually responded to several of my emails BEFORE they decided to ghost me. So I DO understand EXACTLY what you are saying and I realize it makes sense. But it still in no way condones, excuses or does away with the shit conduct of the people at this organization. The cancer society does nothing but make appeals for money. I wanted to help. They said this sounds great. If it didn't sound great or wasn't going to be possible, they should have been very clear right at the outset. They weren't. This is entirely on them. They shit the bed. Kindness is often the excuse for cowardice and it just hurts people. They acted like cowards in not being clear with me.
Also, yes, after reading my 83 page 'helpful' document from the gaming commission it became obvious that I as an individual would NOT receive the licensing required to run an online raffle the way I wanted. That is why I went to the cancer society, because they have all this gaming licensing in place. I also did NOT want any money to come directly to me or even look like I was asking for it to be sent to me. I wanted all funds raised to be direct deposited to the organization. The CS assured me this was all possible from their platform. I even asked if out of country people could donate and enter to win and yes, they were set up to take international donations. This mattered because the Rust Bros, the guys signing and wearing the welding caps, have an international following. They also have a pretty big social media following and promotion for this fundraiser would have gone out on their social medias and reached so many people who are not usually watching to see what the cancer society is doing. Welding caps are a pretty niche market, many people have never heard of them and don't know what they are. But if you are a backyard wrencher on old vehicles, you know how to run a cutting torch and grinder and you know what a welding cap is! It was the perfect audience for such a fundraiser. Under the cancer society licensing they could have 'raffled' off the caps, requesting a $10 donation to enter to win. I, as an individual, would NEVER be allowed that sort of gaming license! (as you know)
But...the local hospital society stepped up and said yes. They are seeking donations from community members to be auctioned off in the upcoming fundraiser. I am donated signed welding caps worn by local 'redneck' celebrities. The director of this fundraiser, unlike the cancer society, has been nothing but helpful and supportive making clear what could be done and could not. They are not raffling the caps but auctioning them to the highest bidder. I have kept one cap to present as a prize through my own FB business page, but to be legal I cannot require any money be paid to enter the contest. So my cap is a 'contest'. I do ask that people make a donation to the hospital but also make it clear that they don't HAVE to to play. My cap contest also requires a skill testing question - so this is not purely a game of chance. All this matters to the gaming commission!
Still. No matter what excuse the CS had or not, how they treat people reflects on them absolutely and this kind of treatment tells me they need a slap across the ear.
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Runor, Best wishes with your fund raiser. I'm a ladies aux member and we ran into these licensing problems when we tried to raise money for an organization that helps people get to doctor visits etc in a small town. The president of the firehall is a bitch and wouldn't let us use "their" license. The firehall it self does not need money and Miss bitch would like us to disband. Since we can't do fund raising we write to nursing home residents and provide small gifts at xmas. One thing we do in this area prior to covid is have benefit fund raisers for people who are struggling with bills from cancer tx. Buffalo businesses and just people from the community donate gifts and have "basket" raffles. Generally the cost to attend is $20 and you get pizza and beer free and then pay for tickets to put in for baskets. We love them!! It's for a good cause and it's a fun time. Also they do 50/50 and generally raffle of larger items (like tv's or signed Bills jerseys) Those tickets cost extra. Idk why I babbling on but maybe this will give u some ideas. My friend in Indiana never heard of such a thing so maybe it's just something around here. Her parents went bankrupt paying for her brothers care.
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Ps. they are held somewhere that has a liquor/food license
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Good luck in your fund raising endeavor.
Hope everyone had a good holiday. The bay cottage is coming along ever so slowly and I am doing my best to hold my self together. It's very stressful when one person says one thing, another person says something else. Everybody has an opinion. I just want to finish it before I lose my stuff on somebody, and end up regretting that I just didn't walk away. My son and a helper guy he had there 2 weeks ago have taken the hot water tank out the cabinet I had it in and said it's going under the cottage. Then, the neighbor (cousin) who is helping us with the plumbing said that the owners son told him no it can't go outside----mind you lots of others have this set up. You would think these people would write stuff down and have you read it!! There's no plan. Anyway, it's going under if I have to learn how to drain and un hook, and re install the damn thing every season.
We went down on the 4th and the weather was just splendid. We didn't do any work, I packed up some food and we just enjoyed the day. That stressed me out too, but ,my son needed a break day. Here's a couple pics.
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Beautiful pictures! Glad you were able to enjoy the day.
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Suffered another health issue. I knew I would have to deal with this soon, but the other night I was at a friends for dinner and got some food stuck in the old esophagus and it became a trip to the ER. I could not get it to go down and was unable to get it back up despite actually vomiting twice. So I could do nothing except spit up my own flem every 20-30 minutes until they put me under at 3:30am and did an endoscopy. I was the only one up in the post op ward. Grateful the doc and some others were on call to come help me. They took good care of me. I was home by 6:30.
Doc said will need the dilation procedure done so see her again in 4 weeks. Ugh! Hope not facing anything further but they do take 4 biopsies to determine a diagnosis I guess. My mother had this. Anyone else?
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ctmbsikia, What a night! Could you have a corkscrew esophagus? Fingers X for you.
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I don’t have all the details only what I get 3rd hand. A sister in law was unable to swallow food, or talk. Off to ER, about a week in hospital. Had throat stretched 2 weeks ago. Still can’t speak, or eat solid food. Has lost 30 pounds. Her vocal chords are paralyzed drs think she may have had mini stroke. She is doing some exercises. She is about 70
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ctmbsikia, well crap, another health issue is not what you - or any of us - need. I'm sorry. I hope it turns out to be something that's not serious and is easily resolved.
Sending hugs your way.
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ctmbsikia, I'm SO sorry. What an ordeal and how frightening! I hope it gets resolved soon and painlessly!
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Oh no ctmbsikia. I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband had a similar issue and it was narrowing of the passageway causing his issues and the GI doc was able to go in and and "stretch" his opening. He still has to be careful and not eat too much at a time or he does have issues still but did help. I hope you get relief. They did it n an outpatient same day thing once they figured it out. Best wishes you get better soon.
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Thank you guys. Spookie, sounds awful for your sil.
I'm doing pretty good not going down the rabbit hole. I can already see my labs and the procedure report and I don't see anything overly alarming. WBC was 11.66 and ABS neutrophils were a bit high but that makes complete sense under those circumstances. Seems I have a moderate Schatzki's ring and they took some pieces in different areas of my esophagus to test. So, hopeful all pathology comes back OK and I can have this ring procedure done and call it day. Other than check ups and modifying my life style. Again.
They were really good about me offering my right arm and not using my left due to prior bc and radiation. I told them I've never swelled up but have had funny things happen after needles get stuck on that side. Had the bp cuff on that side and it's fine. Woke up with one of those limb alert bracelets on. That was weird. They also thought I only had 1 covid vaccine. They swabbed me. Test was negative.
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Ctmbsitka: I know of 3 people who have a swallowing condition. They have to go in every so often to have esophagus stretched. Also they are careful to eat small bites. I'm glad someone put a bracelet precaution on your wrist. Shows they are paying attention. Be well.
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Last year when I was diagnosed my husband checked out of our marriage. He had no idea anything going on with my treatment and ignored all my dr appointments. I begged him for months to talk to me, to show an interest, for some attention, anything. Finally earlier this year I just gave up. Last night, during a fight, the truth slipped out. He informed me that "I am too busy to be concerned about you". I haven't stopped crying. What an unbelievably cruel thing to say. Now I know why he hasn't shown any interest in my cancer and treatment, my life means nothing to him. We have been married for 35 years. We have known each other for 39 years. We met when I was 16 years old and married when I was 20. In a million years I never thought my life would mean nothing to him. That he can't be concerned about me. Unfortunately I am in no position to be able to divorce him so I have to continue to live with him. Our youngest is 17 years old and I homeschool her. I have never felt more alone, lonely, devastated in my entire life. And trapped. Completely trapped.
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Damn. I’m sorry. How cruel.
I’d see an attorney anyway. You may be able to get out. And really hammer that sob.
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cm2020,
I second spookiesmom’s suggestion to see a lawyer. I am not sure why you are not in a position to divorce but whatever it is, please start working on changing that. I was married for 23 years when I divorced. I spent several years prior to that going from being a substitute teacher to getting a full time teaching position. It was not easy at all but I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life with someone who only cared about himself and relished hurting me (emotionally, verbally abusive) and was a huge liar. So I started putting my ducks in a row several years before I went forward with the divorce, but at least I was moving forward. This was well before bc but I know it would have been hell if he had still been in the picture. Do what you need to do but put yourself and your child first. No one should have to live with such abject cruelty. Take good care.
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cm2020,
All of us, even you & me at Stage I Grade 2 have looked at our lives after diagnosis & wondered how many years we have left. How can we make the remaining years meaningful? What do we want our end to look like? You have the opportunity right now to take your anger and hurt and start on the path of making your remaining years calm, peaceful and .... meaningful. I'd encourage you as others have said to see a lawyer. You do not need to live with him and getting exclusive use of your home might be easier because you do indeed homeschool your child. I think you might be surprised at what divorce might look like in your circumstance. It's time to be strong again just as you were when you were diagnosed. This time, your adversary is not cancer in your breast - it is the cancer in your life.
We will support you. Be well.
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cm2020, if you are in or near an urban area, there should be social services that can guide you to agencies, from counseling, to emotional support, to reduced fee legal organizations. You got through cancer alone, you can do this, too.
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Your daughter is watching you being abused by this man. And learning that this is the way women should live. It is not. Do not let a cancer diagnosis scare you into cutting short your possibilities. Talk to a lawyer. You and your daughter should see a counselor. You go girl! We are behind you.
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cm, I'm so very sorry. My heart breaks for you. I have no advice other than take care of YOU first, and then your daughter.
Love and hugs,
Carol
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cm2020 - what your DH said is just plain cruel. I’m sorry that he’s treating you that way. As previous posters have said 1) you are stronger than ever having gone through breast cancer basically alone and 2) start building your own life so you can that divorce. You have the right to have a happy and fulfilling life.
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