STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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To All: I moved from "Ma'am" to "dearie, sweetie" --- Yikes am I getting that old? Depends on the country where those words are being said. In England both sexes get called "Pet" then there's "Luv"; --- so does is it belittling you or maybe it is just a cultural thing? At a market I go to - almost daily - many of the staff greet me or send me off with "Ciao Bella" But maybe they say that because I have been going there for decades and they see me in a more informal light.
Yes yes, hair pulled back. I hope she was wearing a mask, the absence of one would freak me out.
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I vote for cultural thing. I grew up in an area where sir and ma’am were not typically used. I then lived in an area of the US where it was commonly used and picked it up and started using it. Then, another move to a state where it wasn’t used. I was on the phone and addressed the caller as ma’am. She proceeded to rake me over the coals for calling her ma’am. Really, there was no intent behind it. I was simply using a term which was a cultural norm in another part of the country. Nothing more, nothing less.
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This conversation brings back some nice memories. I was an AA in an academic office. Since the students were older, I told them to call me Kathy. Two of the young men, one a graduate student and the other an undergraduate, couldn't bring themselves to do that. They were from the south and asked if Miss Kathy would be ok. Of course it was! It really does boil down to where you grew up, whether in our own country or another. I will say, the first time I was ever called ma'am I remember thinking I've turned into my mother.
Edited to add: The so called terms of “endearment” when used like the waitress did are downright insulting whether by a female or male
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Anyone who grew up with military parents or was in the military was taught to address anyone you were not familiar with as sir and ma'am. It was common courtesy. If not is was rude. Ours kids were taught that as well. We grew up military brats and DH was in as well. They are polite. Open doors for people too. Be nice to others. Treat others as you would like to be treated. All that stuff. As my grandma used to say----act like you've been some place before!!
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I was in the Air Force in the early 70s. Only some of the old lifer officers wanted to be called sir. The younger ones didn't want anything to do with it and didn't like people saluting them, either. Enlisted people, even of higher rank, weren't supposed to be called sir or ma'am in the first place, per the rules of address. I was at Offutt AFB, Strategic Air Command Headquarters, and the big cheese general of SAC would drive around early every morning to eyeball the place. If he saw someone walking to or from work, he'd give them a ride no matter what low rank they were. It was the most egalitarian place I've ever worked. Off duty, officers and enlisted people hung out together and didn't think anything about it. My enlisted boyfriend shared an apartment with a lieutenant and nobody cared.
I wasn't raised to call anyone sir or ma'am so I was glad that it wasn't a big deal when I was in the military. A person can be respectful to others without using outdated, medieval servile terms.
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AliceB, thanks for the laugh!!
You really have to love Igor. I also am going to change subject. I was power washing house.. yes i bitched about this before. Anyway there was a large wasp nest in the dining room window. I sprayed it and then knocked down nest with the washer. Went back up the ladder but there were a few wasps buzzing around. Sooo tried hitting them with the water spray, I'm sure I looked like a crazy person to all those in cars going by. BTW they are back. Think I will just wait for fall, to try getting rid of them. I don't like killing anything unless it's invasive.
While on vacation I saw a plaque that said if women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to one another. IDK if that's funny or not.
Spookiesmom: pretty darn rude of her.
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KID1919, I keep reading that quote. I think it's hilarious! Thanks for sharing it.
Carol
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Trishyla - they may have been cicadas! Here is an article I just found by googling: https://www.mercurynews.com/2013/05/29/morris-humming-tree-has-reader-puzzled/
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Or these: “Adult green June beetles, Cotinus nitida, are metallic green and nearly 1 inch long.The body margins are bronze to yellow and wing covers are sometimes reddish brown. Pupae are brown and 1 / 2 inch long, and larvae ("grubs") are cream-colored and can be from 1 / 4 inch to 2 inches long“ (wiki)
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I think would have screamed my head off! ICK.
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Not cicadas, Jelson. We don't have those in California. They're definitely the large green beetles that Shetland mentioned.
Initially I thought it was hilarious how they kept following me around the yard. I kept telling them I wasn't their mother.
But now I'm not so sure their behavior was entirely benign. I remembered that I used to have a pin (brooch) made out of an iridescent green beetle back in the eighties. Used to creep people out seeing me in a full business suit and high heels with a large bug perched on my shoulder.
I'm starting to wonder if they're finally taking their revenge on me for wearing their distant relative. Hmmm. Maybe I'll get my husband to water the garden. Just in case.
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As long as your husband is not wearing beetle jewelry, that sounds like a good plan!
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Pretty funny.
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There is a 1980s movie Beatlejuice, I do not remember if I saw it. It is also one of the starts in the Constellation Orion ( a winter constellation)
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The steam is out of me today.
We have lost Jaycee49. She was my friend. I am without words.0 -
So sad to hear, runor. Thank you for letting us know.
If you pm the moderators they will add her name to the " In Memorium" list.
I hate this awful disease.
Trish
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noooooo
I’ll put that in the ibrance thread.
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Hi Steam Room Friends: let me first apologize for going back to some older posts. I thought about it for days before posting. I am sorry but politics does belong here. It is politics that the USA does not have universal health like the rest of the developed world. That has left people like you fighting with insurers, waiting for approval from insurers, finding out that the specialist that could help you is "out of the network"....potentially breaking you financially. One woman posted that her insurer would not cover another PET scan since her last one was clear so she shouldn't need another one. That makes me SO ANGRY.
Okay. On to vaccines. We are living on borrowed time, some with less time than others. The pandemic stopped us from seeing those we loved, travelling to places we wanted to see (tick in the bucket list?) Those eligible people (over 12 etc) who refuse the jab are keeping this pandemic going, getting worse in some places. They endanger those who cannot have the vaccine (under 12, doing chemo etc) Their liberty to refuse does not give them the liberty to infect and kill other people. Like Macron did in France, it is not the vaccinated who should shoulder this -- it should be the unvaccinated who have to stay home, not go to restaurants, gyms, concerts, games. Bars can ask for ID for age, why not proof of vaccination? We have to look at our society, our communities as a whole -- "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" does not mean zero responsibilities for others. The willful ignorance, the willful disregard for others makes me SO ANGRY
Okay. I've vented. I'll go back to long waits, rude medical staff, being pissed off about being a resident of Cancerlandia in general.
Trishyla: You brooch story made me laugh. I inherited a Scottish grouse foot that has a sterling silver ring with a precious stone on one of is talons. It gives me the creeps. What do I do with a creepy family antique? I have a necklace with a crowskull. The skull is resin, made with a mold from a real skull. I did the beading and considering that corvids are my all time favourite bird it is weird that I would make it. I have a crow that comes to the kitchen window and taps on the glass so I will come out and give him/her a treat. Which I do.
Cyber hugs to all
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Sad day to say the least. I'm sorry you lost your friend Runor.
My bosses wife called me today to say that he has cancer in lungs and brain, Having surgery tomorrow, He has been out for 2 weeks (we at the office didn't know why).
We took our grandchildren to Canalside in Buffalo today to ride the old restored carousel. For some weird reason riding one always makes me feel kinda sad. I would post a picture of them with "shark girl" but I don't know how.
Tight hugs to you all
Elderberry, I agree
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I love ravens and crows, Elderberry. When I'm out walking I sometimes stop and just watch them. I have often wished I could communicate with them.
There's so much we don't know about them. For instance, how does their generational memory work? (Which is partly what I was jokingly referring to with the beatles. If they have the same kind of generational transfer of knowledge, then I'm in deep trouble 😬 Same with seahorses. I had a gold plated one of those in the eighties as well.)
I don't know what you should do with your creepy heirloom. I have one of those myself. I have the handmade cotton dress my grandmother's newborn brother was wearing when he died. I've always hoped the stains on it were rust from being improperly stored. Otherwise I'd have been too creeped out to keep it.
Trish
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Hugs right back to you, KID1919. I'm sorry about your boss.
Trish
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Kid, in the box where you post, in the upper right corner there is an icon looks like mountain. Click on that, follow the prompts.
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This past year has aged me. After chemo my hair is now all gray. My joints hurt. I just feel old.
But, damnit, AARP can stop sending me shit
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I am so, so sorry to hear about Jaycee49. This hits hard.
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Oh, runor. Jaycee. I literally gasped when I saw your post. I know that she's really been struggling, and had a lot of non breast cancer problems/side effects after receiving the vaccine. But this seems unexpected. And terrible. And sad. Damn.
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I am so sorry to hear about Jaycee. She had so much to deal with and faced it with grace and honesty. My condolences to her family and friends and all who loved her.
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Beesie - She wrote about her struggle in this post:
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/770023?post_id=5677438
ETA: The link is to the Stage IV only thread "A place to talk death and dying issues".
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