STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Homemom - I would ask for better explanation of the numbers. If another 5 years ups your survival by 4%, 4% of what? What is your probability of survival, recurrence now? Is 4% going to make or break it for you? If your outlook is grim, then 4% better odds might be a good choice. But, you need to have a clearer understanding on what exactly 4% translates into and what the physical cost might be to acheive it.
KIDI - oh, deaf husbands and the tv! Girl, you are singing my song! We had the exact same problem and then I got desperate and found a way to solve it. It was that or throw a brick through the tv. I CANNOT cope with lots of loud noise. Yes, I turn the stereo loud and rock out every now and then. But no one else is home when I do so it disturbs no one, and it's only for a little while, not all day. I find noise utterly draining. So if your Hub is game, this is what I did.
I got a set of those computer speakers, the little ones that sit on your desk. They should have an on/off switch and a volume button and a place to plug earphones/ earbuds. Then I bought a loooooonnng chunk of speaker wire from a shop that would reach from the TV, around the edge of the room to Hub's sofa spot. Hub wired the appropriate plugs onto each end of this wire and we plugged the computer speakers into the back of the tv. (you can buy all required parts and pieces at The Source) Now the speakers sit on a little table beside the sofa. He plugs in the earbuds, sticks them in his ears and I can MUTE the tv yet he still hears everything through his earbuds and has his own volume control on the speakers, which do not have any sound coming out of them. All the sound goes into his earbuds. I can vacuum the living room and I don't hear the tv and he doesn't hear the vacuum. This prevented a divorce. We can watch the same program and he adjusts ear volume as he needs to and I adjust tv volume or mute as I see fit. Problem solved. You can buy headphones that pick up the tv program but they are large and hot and much more clunky than the earbud / computer speaker solution.0 -
Runor , Thank you for that suggestion!!! I was looking at reviews for headphones and was not crazy about the idea. At least the last 2 nights he has kept the volume low so that I can read. Maybe he is checking out this site and seeing what a bitch I am/was.
HomeMom, I am glad to hear your positive results from Prolia. I just had my 2nd dose in July. I have osteopenia. The place where I go charges 4000.00 for the shot which is fing BS. I am working on being able to give it to myself as it is nothing and as a former nurse I can just do the deed myself. To get it thru a pharmacy it's 1200.00 which is also BS. Thankfully with our ins I had to pay ONLY 325.00. So what I am working on is getting a Dr to write the script so I can give it to myself. This cancer BS is a $ maker for sure. What if "they" cured cancer? Lots of places closing up, jobs lost. I am one cynical CA patient.
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KID1919: A long time ago a co-worker said "Wow, you've been married a long time. Did you ever consider divorce?" My reply was "Divorce? No. Murder?" followed by a shrug. We'll hit 50 years in November. 48 years "officially married" was in May. We acknowledge that neither of us are perfect. My DH admitted that I was such a whining, bitchy, cranky, horror during our Heat Dome nightmare that he wasn't sure if he should throw a bucket of cold water on me or smother me with a pillow and put me out of my misery. My hearing is still pretty good. His? Not so much but it hasn't got to yelling "Turn it down" He once asked if I was reading lips when I was alone, lying on the bed watching telly. It was down that low. Ha ha.
Unless the spouse is verbally and/or physically abusive it serves one well to remember the other spouse will behave better tomorrow. And the old adage - never go to bed mad.
Brand new persons (aka babies) are so little and helpless. Never had a baby but I can imagine lugging that weight around before giving birth. I was a huge baby for 1950. I was 10 lb 8 oz. I never got over 106 lbs (I am 5' 2") until I was in my mid-forties so that was no indication of the following years.
To the rest: Why do men in particular always wait so long to get things checked out? Do they honestly think that if it isn't diagnosed then they don't have it? Are they living on the same paper mache earth (anyone remember "Pinky and The Brain"?) that the Covid deniers are living on? Yes - sometimes us women do the same thing...it'll go away, I'll wait and see.....
Ooooo. Chocolate. Dark chocolate. Our local Italian Cucina makes a flourless, chocolate cake that is so good it should be illegal. It is so rich that one small slice lasts me and my DH a few days. We take a thin slice off the side. But of course, we like it with a scoop of Birchwood Dairy vanilla ice cream that has something like 25%-30% fat content so we aren't being diet conscious. It comes from a dairy in Abbotsford , about 60 miles from here. It is served at a local soda fountain place that is deliberately made to look like like the 1950's. Grandparents take their grandkids there to show them what their own childhood looked like. I have yet to tackle their sundaes or shakes. I live in a Foodie's paradise. I live about a block away from both places.
Everyone - take care. If it doesn't feel right go get it checked!!
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KIDI919 When we were first discussing hormone blockers, my MO told me that Prolia used with an AI would be covered by insurance as part of the cancer treatment, but if it's used for natural osteoporosis (not caused by AI), it isn't covered. That co-pays of yours alone is outrageous!
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Misinformation and Harmful information about cancer on social media. It would sure be nice to have a "fact checker" https://academic.oup.com/jnci/advance-article-abst...
It can even get more muddled with disagreement in expert knowledge.
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Also always have dark chocolate handy. Can make flourless chocolate cakes with raspberry coulis and whipped cream.
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Elderberry, We will be married 43 yrs this month. I'm sure he has wanted to murder me a few times! LOL. For the most part we go along pretty darn good. High school sweethearts.
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KID1919 that is great you made it this long sine high school! I have not talked to the person I went with in high school since we broke up in high school!!! LOL!!! Now been married 39 years at least to a someone else I met after I moved to another town and was a a few years older. I know DH gets mad a me sometimes and I do him too but we are to the point we just go in different rooms for a bit. Life's too short to be arguing and we know how how serous health issues ar4e at this point. Congrats and long marriage.
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KID1919: Happy Anniversary. I met my DH at the Amchitka Blast Demonstration at the Peace Arch in 1969. (The Bomb is not good for children and other living things) He thought I was the perfect match for his buddy who gave me a ride home on his motorcycle. That relationship didn't last long, but DH and I were friends remained for 2 years before we took the risk and went for lovers. So, since he was a friend first and a lover next, I cut him more slack then I might have for a brand new relationship and I never had to pretend I liked something I didn't - like football. Ha ha.
We don't argue; more snap at each other then it is over.
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elderberry,
I wore a pendant like this one for years. The logo and the saying come from a group called Another Mother For Peace. I started attending anti war protests at a very young age.
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exbrngrl: thank you for correcting the quote. Amen all the same. I still march. Well, I did until Covid. I was busy marching at the Trans Mountain pipeline expansion protests. I may not be the same skinny, long auburn haired young thing that I was but my head is still the same, just a little fatter and greyer.
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Had both my hubs sibs helping at the bay this weekend. His brother was mean and miserable. If he doesn't want to help, just say it. I kept my cool. Thankfully, the sister also kept her cool and she can be a loose cannon at times. Wasn't the most productive day but progress is progress. We put a piece of PVC board on the bathroom ceiling which will run over the shower. The PVC board is also going to be the shower walls. That's what they gave me. I can make it work. After cutting the left over piece fit right on the other wall to hide the god awful drywall seam I did. I'd sooner slit my throat than touch another trowel and joint compound again!! I suck at it. This looks nicer (pic attached) Grouchy brother in law said I'm going to put the J channel up on the outside. So, that got done. Then I bought them all lunch.
Had an uneventful visit with my primary doc this morning. He can see the notes from MO, and my hospital trip. No med changes, see ya in 6 months. Nice guy. Whew. Next week is the GI Dr. appointment. I'm not as nervous for this one, like I usually get with the bc appointments.
I hope to stop hormone therapy at 5 years. Although I'm tolerating it well, it will take some real data on benefit and convincing for me to do any longer.
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runor - That 4% was quoted when I was coming up on 5 years and she told me about both studies. First I was told that I was getting chemo strictly for "insurance" and since I was grade 1, it wasn't aggressive. Fast forward 7 years and now I'm being told that since I had node involvement, 10 years would be better, and that 7 years were for women with no node involvement.
KIDI919 - WOW, Prolia didn't cost me anything, but it took forever to get approved. Now I have different insurance, so I hope it covers it. I have to go to the treatment room to get it after my visit. They hold it under their arm to warm it up a bit or it is more painful. I couldn't give it to myself, the Neulasta shot was delivered to my home and my PA neighbor came over to give it to me! Now they have a freakin' patch!
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Just need to vent! I have been waiting for an appointment with a plastic surgeon that specializes in nerve injuries. I had to cancel two appointments in the spring because my dad was very sick with post Covid lung damage and then he passed away-both times I explained what was going on so that they knew it wasn't just a frivolous reason for me cancelling. They rescheduled my appointment for 7/14 and the week before I got a call to reschedule because he was going to be dealing with a complicated out of state case on that day and needed more time. I was rescheduled for last Wednesday. Last Monday afternoon I got an email saying that he was going to be in surgery all day on the 4th and I would have to reschedule again. It also asked if I was available the following week (tomorrow). I answered that I was and asked what time was available. I never heard back so had to call myself only to find out that there was one appointment in the earlier morning and one after 5. It is a long drive for me and both were at rush hour. I couldn't do either so had to reschedule for the 18th. I'm seriously wondering if it will happen again. I had sent the doc a detailed list of questions that I have regarding the surgery that he proposed and sent me medical articles about, so that he would have time to think about them before I come in. I didn't want to feel like I was hammering him when I go into in the office. I understand that things come up but it isn't like my pain is on hold while I'm waiting.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Pain is bad today so it is making me grumpy!
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Exbrnxgrl – I used to have necklace like that when I was 17 or so, a blast from the past. I think my mom gave it to me. My mom died when she was 85. I turned 63 this year and have not come close to the number of rallies she went to. The night she died, I dreamt that she was organizing a protest against development in a wetland area.
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CTL mom sorry you are having to deal with that. I assume you like this surgeon and want to use him no matter what? Anyone closer at all?
I know my PS was apparently one of the best in our area but his office staff was terrible and his nurse was terrible as well and not very caring as far as I was concerned.
They deal with a lot of "cosmetic" crap there too of course with vain people and not just cancer patients. Would be nice to have a practice that only worked with cancer patients. I know there are enough of them out there unfortunately.
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Having a "cancer patient only" reconstructive surgeon can be just as frustrating, bcincolorado. I had the top microsurgeons (two of them - one male, one female) at City of Hope, which is a cancer/teaching facility. They were both horrible to me.
Met with the female first. She refused to consider me for DIEP flap surgery since I had triple negative cancer. The implication was that I wasn't going to make it, and she didn't want to "waste" the surgery on me. Dropped her like a hot rock.
Tried the male surgeon. He refused to do DIEP because he just had a feeling I wouldn't be a good candidate for the surgery because of my age (58), because I used to smoke and because he said I was morbidly obese. I was 160 at 5'4", (after gaining 10 pounds during chemo!) which is overweight, but nowhere near obese. He flat out refused to test me. The man had the bedside manner of a carrot.
I finally had to threaten a lawsuit if they didn't at least do the tests to see if I was a candidate for DIEP flap.
They did test, I was a candidate and both surgeons did my surgery. After all that BS, the male doctor admitted he was wrong and told me he'd never had a patient who healed as fast as I did.
After my experience, I think I would have rather gone with a "private " plastic surgeon. They are normally more patient centric, and tuned in to pleasing their paying customers.
Trish
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trishyla,
I am a Kaiser patient and for many, many years Kaiser plastic surgeons did only reconstructive surgeries (for all body parts, not just breasts). Their plastic surgeons became quite expert on these types of surgery. My ps insisted, as he should, on explaining all of my options to me even though I did not want DIEP or any other flap surgeries. I thank him now for being so thorough and honest. Kaiser now offers cosmetic plastic surgery, self pay of course, but I wonder if it’s lessened the strong team of recon only surgeons. I guess Kaiser discovered that people are willing to pay to get work done even if insurance won’t cover it.
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Trishlya that is terrible you had to deal with that. Glad you fought at least. I weighed 116 pre-cancer and am at that weight now. Know overweight at this point due to cancer and meds and going into instant menopause from cancer did not help either. Eating salad and exercise does nothing to help it either. Cancer affects all of us and not just our breasts and they can't get that.
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Today is one of those what the heck am I still doing here days. I guess I shouldn't have gone to the cemetery but I was summoned by his sister that the solar lantern and garden flag went missing and how terrible it was. It seems they did a clean up of the place and there's an out building there where they put everything. I went through it and picked up my stuff. My parents are right near hubs and their stuff was also in this pile. I'll take them back when mowing season is over. I survived a severe thunderstorm last evening too. It is hot as f here. Just conflicting feelings of feeling well and happy and looking forward to going away with my daughter next week, to sad and not liking being alone. Some days are better than others. Some days I think I maybe losing my mind. Like right now I have no idea where to go or what to have for lunch. LOL Literally I cannot make this decision, and I'm mad I have to.
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bcincolorado,
I'm so sorry you had to deal with office staff and nursing treating you so poorly. Cancer patients have enough crap to deal with and don't need medical staff giving them a hard time! Did you end up using the place to do your surgery?
This plastic/nerve surgeon is super talented and very nice. This is the same hospital I have done all my cancer treatments and reconstructions with since 2007. It is 1.5 hours away from where I live which isn't too bad. I would never let anyone nearby touch me for my cancer or reconstructions. I wouldn't now especially with this nerve situation being so complicated! Although, my PCP does practice near me. Ironically when his sister got BC he took her to the same place I go! She even had the same doc to her mastectomy!
I know this nerve doc could help if he knew what and where the problem(s) exactly are located. I've posted previously on other threads about asking to have an MR neurography done and the debacle that turned into. I still believe if the correct test and area was examined it would give him a lot more information to work with. However, when I bring it up I do feel like I'm talking to myself. Oh well, we'll see what happens.
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I have a good friend who works in a medical office at the front desk of a neurology clinic. They deal with a of patients with brain issues there but it is not excuse for people to be rude to office staff no matter what the issue is. Cancer patients may not feel well but I sure could not imagine being rude to anyone at my MO office either. When did people become so rude in our country to each other and think it ok to not treat others with respect no matter how you feel? Kind makes me glad for COVID sometimes to stay home and avoid people and go live in a cave somewhere away from everyone sometimes.
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This is my opinion BUT in the US since trump was potus it's ok to be rude, make fun of people that are different than you, on and on. It was always there, but now people think it's ok to out right spell in public their hate. This world would be way better off without people!!!!! I am fing tired of all those that think "their way of thinking is the only way". I can see why people say fuck it.
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I'm with you, KID1819. I'm tired of mollycodling morons. Rude, nasty people who seem to all be on the low end of the IQ scale. We need to keep calling them out, privately and publicly.
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I live in one of the crappy red states. Gubner Evil Goober is now telling the residents they should get vaccinated. Sort of. If they want to. I find it HILARIOUS that the anti-vax, anti-mask nutjobs who voted for him are now turning on him because he's messing with their FREEEEDUMB!!!
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At least you aren’t in FloriDuh.
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Friend of mine called me last night. She's not vaccinated. She's waiting. For what I don't know. At least she works from home, wears her mask when out and she doesn't do many (if any) social things. I feel life is too short and it's just not worth my time to dig in my heels and possibly lose a friend over a public health crisis that has turned political. I'm just done. 45 was one of worst in history and it is hard to fathom the cult that is out there still supporting him. Some of whom think he will be reinstated this week. Never knew there are so many delusional people out there, but there are, and that's our reality now.
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Maybe she's waiting so the virus has a chance to mutate some more
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I am just going to leave this here. I am so sad this thread has taken a turn.
7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.
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