STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
-
Never thought of that, dancemom. I have a port (though I have never had chemo. Long story) which I use for blood draws. I often bruise badly if my veins are used.
0 -
Dancemom - I like that you tell the kids something understandable at their level & it teaches them how different can be just normal. I'm sure any kids with medical issued would see you as a hero. If the parents see, they can learn also that people w/medical issues are not all bed ridden & helpless. Think of it as helping with "awareness". After Q Eliz died, my sister noted that when she shook hands with the new PM you could see the IV brusing on her hands. She had been doing everything she could to stay alive to greet the next PM.
0 -
Or do the parents wonder if you’re a junkie shooting up drugs. Something else to consider. Parents can jump to strange thoughts.
0 -
dancemom - As a high school math teacher I found the kids noticed everything - bruises, scratches, bad hair, clothes, a slightly different color of eyeshadow. The ones with IEPs were those who were most vocal about them. Because of some negative reactions to fellow teachers with cancer I had seen in the past I told nobody about my bc diagnosis except my department head/friend of 24 years who kept quiet. HR granted any necessary accommodations but I asked doctors to use generic hospital letterheads rather than the usual ones that screamed "department of breast oncology." Before my diagnosis I had gone through several months of treatment for jaw osteomyelitis from an abscessed tooth which required lots of IV sticks on my arms and hands, so the students assumed my cancer treatment was a continuation of that even though I no longer looked like a one-sided chipmunk.
When I developed a severe frequent cough due to late stage radiation pneumonitis I had to explain that it was not covid and I was not contagious, my lungs were just acting up. Usually a student would announce that his grandpa had COPD or something like that so everyone accepted it. I did receive concerned emails from a few of my students but in my replies I assured them that I had great doctors and was getting the best treatment. Preventing the kids from worrying about me dying was another reason I told nobody. Since I didn't have chemo and lose my hair I was able to carry this off by letting the students and my fellow teachers assume things. I guess when students look at you for so many hours of the day they can't help but focus on all aspects of your appearance!
0 -
I escaped that but have another condition that affects my brain called primary progressive aphasia and it can be hard to speak sometimes and very slowly and sometimes say wrong words for things. For the little grandkids who do not understand what is going on I just tell them Grandma is being silly or something since we can't tell them it is something that will kill me in a few years and I just keep hoping I can see them grow up at least. Still worrying about cancer hitting me again and there is a spot they are watching so if one does not get me the other one will.
0 -
https://www.newsweek.com/viral-instagram-video-pil...
This pilot could use some awareness of "late stage breast cancer". Wish I knew how to tell SWA how dumb & maddening this is for those of us who KNOW you can be NED, but not "cancer free".
I just found it! I scrolled down some on SWA.com to "Need Help? Contact us" and sent an "educational" email.
0 -
Just hot to the gym. My anxiety is high. Surgery for salivary stone, gland excision next week ( been reassured its a couple stones, nothing more but they won't budge for sh-- and I'd actually rather have another F#@%$>×! scar...this one visible on my neck than keep this daily pain). My husband has gotten tubby and a bit of a shit. 13 yr old moody. Dragged ( literally) everyone to get some excercise for self esteemand we fought the whole way there. Good relaxing 40 min on treadmill (Hallmark channel with captions...yes please!
for 40 minutes then found my husband and son sitting in the snack area eating resees! I'm so pissed! Why do non cancer people not understand how f#@%^÷@! hard you have to work to be here. I came home and threw out all the tater tots and cookies in the house. Dirty dishes, everyone is tired, no one but me seems to enjoy or make time to get fit. And moody!!! and its only October in Ohio. 5 months of cold and darkness stuck being everyone's cheer leader and cleaning lady. I'm tired.0 -
I am fuming since yesterday. My pet scan results shows my cancer has spread to bones and most likely lungs. There is a 1.7 cm solid nodules in my lungs.
But what upset me more is having a bone fracture that I think is caused by bone biopsy. This doctor performed an open bone biopsy on my fibula (thin bone on my lower leg) four weeks ago. He was so sure its osteomyelitis not cancer despite me having no symptoms of infections, blood tests shows no infection. Before biopsy, mri shows bones marrow edema (fluid build up) but is in no danger of fracture. He also did an X-ray a week before biopsy, my bone is intact. Now, 2 weeks after the biopsy, pet scan shows I have bone fracture on my fibula 😲; soft tissue around the biopsy site are inflamed, maybe infection or infiltrating process.
I have a dull pain that comes and go before biopsy, now I have chronic pain. And he had no idea what causing me the pain. Tomorrow I will see and tell him “guess what?” - bone fracture is causing me the pain!
I am freaking out, with fracture, my bone is leaking fluid with cancer cells, i feel my prognosis just got worst with what he did. I had a lot of trust and confidence in this stupid doctor because he is an orthopedic oncologist, he should have known better not to do an open biopsy on a fibula. I hate him, anybody knows a lawyer?
0 -
7of9, I'm sorry. I'd be pissed, too! Good for you for tossing the tater tots and cookies. And good for you for going to the gym with or without support from your family!
anx789, I responded on another thread, but this really sucks! They'd better own up and FIX it, however they can. Sheesh!
Carol
0 -
anx748 I am so sorry you going through this drama right now. Breathe and be your advocate and reach out supervisors if you need to get satisfacation on something . Best wishes and keep us posted.
0 -
I saw this stupid doctor today, did not apologized, very defensive. Fracture is caused by open biopsy, it’s in the biopsy site, looks so bad on X-ray. He’s recommending radiation, no surgery, no cast, “it should heal by itself.” I told him radiation is not his expertise and is not recommended by radiologist. I am really pissed. He took 5cm x 2cm x .04cm bone from my fibula, which seems to me to big, It’s a thin bone! I will see another ortho which means I have to deal with insurance, another stress
0 -
Oh, anx789, that's really horrible. I hope you find another doctor very soon who can advise. We're sorry for what you are experiencing.
0 -
7of9 - I share some of your frustration.I am a generation older than you, so not dealing w/kids. But I've tried to have several talks w/DH about household chores & getting exercise. Frustration, tears, walking out of room, all unsuccessful. If I hire the work done, he'll be furious. I've recommended activities, but they never materialize. I've volunteered to help with some of the chores, and response is silence or "I don't want to do that now." Probably because it would take getting out of recliner. At our age, I really think he would be glad if he died before me. Head in the sand & I don't know what to do. So, thanks for letting me share your steam room.
0 -
anx, is the doctor who did the bone biopsy an ortho oncologist? If not, maybe that could be your next doctor to see. Will your MO refer/recommend it? What a pain (sorry, no pun intended!)
Carol
0 -
Sunshine, yes he is an Ortho Oncologist that’s why I had a lot of trust in him. It was a teaching hospital Keck USC Hospital, never again going to a teaching hospital.
0 -
anx, so sorry! Hope you find another OO real soon without issue from your insurance.
I just spent $100 co pay for the foot and ankle doc to check a lump on my foot. It's a plantar fibroma which is harmless. I hate getting a new lump or anything happening, but I guess it's best to just go get it checked out. No treatment needed unless it changes, affects walking, or becomes really painful. The only time it's bothersome is when I'm wearing my sneakers, so time to throw those out and get a new pair.
I'm wearing my boots to a funeral tomorrow (flat no heel). My good friend lost her brother (59) to cancer. He had a tumor on his vocal cord, had surgery and treatment and was doing fairly well. Not sure what happened but his blood counts were off and he was bleeding internally and while in the hospital they found his cancer had spread. I'm not sure where to. My heart just breaks for her. She's a fellow BC gal (stage III), lost a sister to this disease, a husband to covid last November, and her entire family is almost all gone. She has 1 sister left whom she doesn't talk to, and a daughter who is out of the house and soon to be married.
That's a lot to take being in her early 60's. I'm very anxious about going.
I also have a baby shower tomorrow. Ain't that bittersweet? Death and life in the same day.
Hope y'all are doing well. We've winterized the bay cottage. I'm done for the season. Will leave you a pic from last weekend. Take care.
0 -
anx, wow, that's crazy that you were at a teaching hospital. Usually, they're right on top of things. USC should have an excellent health care team. When I was UCSD (not for cancer) I was very happy with my care. I'm now part of the Scripps group. I've been happy with them. I truly hope you can find a better OO.
ctm, you have quite the weekend ahead of you. Years ago, we were having a baby shower for a friend. The friend was using another friend as a surrogate. On the way to the shower, a third friend died in a car accident. It was a shower of tears and laughter, sadness and joy. I'm so sorry for your friend. Haven't some people been through enough???
Carol
0 -
sound like me except I’m not happy. Have headache, tired and want to feel loved and cared for. Is it due to age 73? When you feel tired do you ask dr for tests?
Anyone who can give me good suggestions to get out of myself and back to life. It’s been 5 years and I’m not happy/ content, others are able to pull it off. Yes I am alive but want more. Want to get away from the stress. Thanks praying for all of us who have thoughts of this.
0 -
anx789,
I’m so sorry that you had to experience this. You mentioned possibly seeking a lawyer. Before you consider that, check the consent form that you signed. If it lists bone fracture as a possible result of the biopsy then legal action is likely to be unsuccessful. Even if it doesn’t, malpractice is notoriously difficult to prove. Having suffered a rare and life threatening complication after port insertion, I learned a bit about this.
0 -
Exbrnxgrl, you’re right. I believe I have no case unless I can prove that this fracture made my prognosis worst, time will tell
0 -
lovelau, I'm sorry you're having a rough time lately. I think we all get it. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it. I hope today is a better day for you.
(((hugs)))
Carol
0 -
anx789 - I think Exbrnxgrl has a good point about the consent form you likely signed. See if it says bone fracture is a possibility.
I looked up my breast surgeon at one point and saw that he had been the subject of a malpractice suit, so I read the details, and it looks like the consent form the patient in that case had signed was very key to the trial. He is actually a general surgeon, so does more than just breast surgery, and in this case the woman had signed a consent saying she understood that a cut artery or vein (not sure which) and permanent disability was quite possible, and that is indeed what happened to her. She sued this surgeon and didn't have a prayer. It was one of those things where the jury was out for all of 2 minutes and came back having unanimously acquitted the surgeon.
There was a lot more to this story, and if a person read the details they would easily see why the surgeon was acquitted, aside from the consent form matter, but that consent form appeared to be very front and center in the case, and the first thing that the defense brought up as a reason why the surgeon should not be liable.
I'm just so sorry about your situation, and I hope that there is something that you can do to get some satisfaction. It does sound like the osteo that did the biopsy maybe took a far different approach than others might have. Given that you have the breast cancer history, I don't know why the osteomyelitis was his first thought, rather than a bone metastases. I wonder if he'd checked for that first, if all of what happened to you could have been prevented. That might be an avenue to pursue, i.e. that the most reasonable guess as to what your problem was was metastases, not osteomyelitis, and he was way off base in that regard. Just some random thoughts here. I really do hope you get some sort of resolution to this.
0 -
threetree, common sense tells me there is negligence but it’s hard to prove in the court of law, you have to prove there was injury or irreparable harm.
•I read online that they don’t recommend doing open biopsy on fibula due to high risk of fracture- he should have known this, he’s supposed to be a well known ortho Onco. He's a professor-he might have done the biopsy for the education oh his students. I even think he’s students did the biopsy.•he told me he did his job, coming up with a diagnosis, that fracture is one of the risk. He could have do done needles biopsy first or recommend pet scan if he really cares. I have complete trust in this doctor. He made me believe it’s osteomyelitis, he even reported “very unlikely cancer” - my case might rely on this, if I can prove there was injury or irreparable harm.
•he took big samples- he could done something after surgery to prevent fracture. He discharged me with no restrictions.
0 -
ctmbiskia beautiful picture thanks for sharing. I've been off for a few days online since the little grands wanted to sleep over with us. They are in 2nd and 4th grade now. The older ones think we are boring I guess and do not want to come to sleep over so they can have mom and dad to themselves I guess. Guess there was a reason we had kids young though since I could barely move. They have learned know that grandma does not look like mommy either since I had cancer and they had to cut part of me off so it is not just that we are old that I am all deformed at least. Sad you have to explain that stuff to kids.
0 -
bcincolorado,
That sounds like you simply handled reality at an age appropriate level. Coincidentally, I was just thinking about my grandchildren and my bc this morning. They are 10, 6, and 4 and totally unaware that I have bc. I would like to tell the eldest that knowing that I was going to be a grandmother got me through the early months of dx, surgery, etc., and someday I will. I think I will know when the right time comes or when my dd’s think it’s time.
0 -
I never asked my DIL or son what they thought. When the grandkids asked I just told them I cancer. Their mom is a nurse who works on an oncology clinic right now at the hospital right now (she has had other positions there as well) so they kind of know about cancer from what their mom does already. I wanted to be honest with them though. Three are girls although we know guys an get it too
0 -
So sad this place is so quiet. Hope everyone is well. I'm doing OK, I think. Seems I maybe a little depressed and also over stimulated at the same time if that's possible. Have some ear ringing and my chin feels weird. Seems like anxiety and I don't know why or how to stop it! I'm taking an extra 10mg of my anti-depressant to see it that helps.
My football team is 7-0 and our baseball team is winning 2 games to 1 in the World Series. Last night's game was a complete butt whooping!!!! So, what should be an enjoyable and joyful time which in part it is, I can't shake not feeling myself. Today I wondered if I may have a little ptsd? Last time the Eagles won the super bowl (Feb. 4-2018) I had just been through my diagnosis and was just out of surgery 5 days when I went to the city for the parade. It was one of the best days of my life! Then it all started to hit me, around radiation time which is when I found this site and joined up. I still am grateful that I had all that distraction back then. If we win does that mean something bad is going to happen? I mean, I just read an article that each time the Phillies win a world series the country goes into a financial crisis. My God. Stop robbing me of joy!! I've had very little of it these last few years.
0 -
ctmbiskia that is crazy to think that. I think those people who are "running the markets" are the ones to blame for everything if you as me. They are not happy no matter what. Rates are too low so they gripe about people spending too much money as a result and then when they raise the rates they complain about that and stocks tumble and all the retirement accounts suffer. I won't even open my statements anymore when they come. We will not touch it until we absolutely have to anyway so at this point does not matter anyway and decided it was causing me too much grief.
My mom somehow "broke" her charger for her computer. DH thinks her dog chewed on the cord or something really. He tried to order a new one which just came and his is like hers since they bought the same kind at the same time and checked it out when it got here a few minutes. Wrong dumb charger. She had had to bring her computer over a few times to charge it up and then she only opens it once a day to check her email and turns it off to save the charge. It is driving her crazy though since used to live on her laptop all day long and play her games and do video chats with a friend of hers on it and now she can't do that either. Don't know if we can find one here in town to get it to her tomorrow or not. Guess that will be the project tomorrow.
Two weeks before more doctor stuff for me and then I have 2 in one week. The fun never ends.
0 -
Already getting stressed out about the Thanksgiving holiday and family stuff. Son asking if "we have plans" but that would mean driving 45 minutes there in who know what and how many people would be there and I do not do well with crowds and they do not eat like I do either. Love my son and grandkids but then it is probably also her folks there and as well and possible his siblings as well and then that makes even more people and they do not even sit at a table do buffett stuff a lot of times at those things which I do not like either. Do not want to offend but would rather just have my mom who lives 2 miles from us and in her 80''s over and we sit quietly and cook and send leftovers home with her and watch a movie and do not have to dress and talk to people if I do not want to. ]
Hate holidays sometimes and it seems it gets worse and worse every year.
0 -
That's a hard one, however, I say do whatever you want and hopefully no one will be offended. Can you maybe visit with your son and grandkids over the Thanksgiving weekend when there's not so many people?
My husband would get angry with me that we would always spend holidays with my family and not his. We came up with a compromise and he started cooking breakfast for his mother and stepdad, his siblings, and at times I combined the families. For many years my holidays started at the crack of dawn and went all day. It was a lot of work but now I am so glad to have all those memories.
Since he's gone now, I've been in flight mode around holiday time. Getting away hasn't worked out until this year. We are going to FL for Thanksgiving. Nephew's house. A little nervous, it's like 20 people and I don't know all of them well, but it will be a mini vacation with my kids.
0
