STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Betrayal - Yes! Great suggestion! I do need to ask about the other AI's at my next appointment. I was particularly interested in Exemestane a while back, but my MO said they're all the same and blew me off. But I know from these boards that they most certainly are NOT the same when it comes to SE, so I'll be more insistent thi time. Thank you!
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Odyssey, back in 2008 when I had endometrial cancer (yes, I need a new hobby!) and a very thorough hysterectomy, the surgical oncologist told me at my follow-up appointments that I needed to get out and take brisk walks because of the heavy swelling in my ankles. My left hip was in such a bad state that all I could do was a slow, painful crab walk holding onto walls! He thought it was all in my head. Rather than punch his smug face or tell him to eff off, I just stopped going. And I did have a hip replacement two years later, plus treatments at a wound clinic for my ankles, which had gotten really disgusting by then. I really hated that oncologist, though. I thought it was just me, until a friend with ovarian cancer also saw him and had the same reaction I did. He actually told his patients "Go home, I have cured you!" and wouldn't answer questions. Egotistical shit.
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Alice, you are my hero. Happy T-G, girl.
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Aw, gee. I'm blushing. Nothing heroic going on here, I'm just pre-decomposing one little chunk at a time.
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Yes, Alice, you're awesome! I still giggle when I think about your post on consulting with garden gnomes, helps me pre-decompose a little more slowly too
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MULCH! Ooh, when whatever gets me finally does it, I'll have my ashes put in a nice garden gnome. I think it's an idea that could catch on!
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That is a funny idea. Bet there would be a way to do that as well.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone and have a restful day and stressful free day.
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Right back atcha Wrenn and bcincolorado - Have a really nice Thanksgiving.
You too Alice - and your family and gnomes as well.
I hope everyone on this board has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to all!
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My sister in law passed away on 12/8/21. Her ashes have been residing alongside my mothers in my mother's bedroom (at my brothers). Her kids bring her to parties and camping in her box. Well, my Neice went to a physic and got a message from her Mom....she's not happy with the plain box and wanted one with yellow roses. (her favorite flower) Her kids have ordered one and she will be present at xmas in her new box. On the box are the words "settle down sparky" which she would say when anyone got too crazy acting. Her other favorite saying was "what the fuck". Her kids figures the other was more polite. Loved that girl. This really doesn't go under anger...other than I'm pissed she's gone. But it sure has affected my mental health. Happy Turkey Day folks
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kidi919, I love that your late sister-in-law continues to be such an awesome person even though she's gone. My step-cousin kept her mother's ashes in her car trunk for a few years until her brothers would cooperate in deciding an appropriate final place. My cousin talked to her mother every day as they carpooled to work and back, but she drew the line at using the carpool lane.
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alicebastable, what a great story!
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Carpool lane, love it! If I took my Mom's ashes camping she would haunt me forever. Luckily she's buried next to my dad in a little town cemetery where she grew up.
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Survived Thanksgiving with a few meltdowns and left the room and sat in my bedroom in the quiet for about 15 minutes. Too many people and too much noise and my mom who I love and is old kept nit picking things and we had worked hard to figure out how to fit people in and how things should go and it was not "good enough" to suit her. She would say she was doing something and then sit and talk to people and not do it so I ended up doing it. Tried to remind myself she is super old and to humor her but it was hard. Now us but now our son just asked us to watch the 2 little grands in the morning starting at 6:30 in the morning until early afternoon. Planned to work on putting away Thanksgiving and setting up Christmas but that won't happen now. They at least love grandma and grandpa and do not think we are boring yet like the older grands do. DH has a doc appointment out of town and has to travel 70 miles to get to it on Tuesday so who knows when it get set up? Not to mention we have to find time to finish Christmas shopping ordering and baking and everything and fit it all inbetween all the doctor appoitnments. Holidays are hard.
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bcincolorado, holidays are hard! Lovely to see our grands even if they poop us out. Do you remember the poem Ann Landers use to post? It was about babies and dust go to sleep. Try let things go. It's more important to see the littles. Maybe cut back on what you put out for xmas. Every year I put less out...I put out my favorite things. I have a sister that wants people to drive anywhere from 45 min to 2hours to come to her house for xmas and now is mad that not many are. Last time we did that it was not enjoyable. ( when you have 45 people ( and now 4 toddlers added) it's just too much!) I told her flat out things have changed, and we are not coming . Idk how old your grand kids are but maybe they can help put away things.? It sounds like you have a lot on your plate plus not much help. Remember the Grinch? Christmas came without packages, boxes or bags. We need to learn not everything has to be the same. And sometimes we have to ask for help. I hope you have a lovely day with your sweet sugar lambs.
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bcincolorado - So sorry that you got so overwhelmed and stressed over Thanksgiving, when that is what you were trying to avoid all along. Do you still take any hormone therapy? If so, could that have contributed to your overwhelm?
I agree with kidi919 that less can be more. I think I've mentioned before that when my dad got older (my mom had died) circumstances left him, my brother, and me to have holidays together. Even then he wanted to do all the old stuff we did with my mother and others attending. It was too much for any of us, but I had to make the suggestions that we scale back, and explain how it would still all be OK. We got to just having very simple and finally "token" meals - eventually wound up as turkey sandwiches during his last year of life, with a pie and bottle of wine, or we went out. I have to say some of the most meaningful (not necessarily "fun") holidays I ever had were those scaled down ones with just my father, brother, and me. We really did focus on just the fact that we were together and able to be together. Now my brother and I often just go out together or with a couple of extended family members, and again, it's fine.
I used to love to do Christmas shopping and to get all the wrap and ribbon and everything and spend lots of time on individualizing the wrapping of each gift, etc. Then game "just gift bags" will do, and now I often just order from stores and have things sent. I'll be 70 next month, but it is the cancer treatments, especially the Letrozole that has gotten me down, and I just can't do it anymore. It's a real hard thing to admit to oneself, and in my case I'm sure I could be doing more at 70 than I am now - I will never not think my slowdown and feelings of overwhelm aren't more due to cancer treatment than age, but that's the way it is.
I still don't understand why with all those other adults there, that you had so much to do! Some of them could have really helped you carry the ball and it doesn't sound like they did. I'm sold now on less people and less fuss.
Also, I could be the same way with my mother - loved her immensely, but could get so frustrated with her too, even in her old age, when I knew she needed the benefit of the doubt. I'd give anything to have her here still - even if it meant my getting crazy frustrated with her.
Breathe, relax, you will get things set out for Christmas maybe later than sooner, but it will all fall into place at some point.
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Well we had the little grands today and used child labor to help since they are at the age they actually like to help with things. Our grandson helped grandpa carry boxes and then haul and carry out Christmas boxes. Our littlest grand-daughter helped me out front with the outside stuff we do in the front and let her do the decorating and decide where things go and do it herself. She was happy as well. Only had them a few hours and put them work. Last time they were here it snowed and they shoveled snow.
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bcincolorado, I'm so glad you had help and a good day with the kids.
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bcincolorado, I'm so glad you had help and a good day with the kids.
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Thanks. Now worrying because of pains on my cancer side and do not know if is from shoveling snow or something else since had issues on mamo on my non-cancer side when I had that done the last few years that required more testing and 6 month watching. The cancer worry does not go away.
Dear friend just found out she has a rare cancer after pains and bleeding. Had to have appendix out already and there is cancer cells in her organs. Now seeing MO and going for more surgery to be scheduled cutting her from top to bottom and taking out part of her insides now. Chemo on the table before they close her up that is how bad it is. They said if she does not do it she dies in 3 years. Cancer stinks.
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Thanks. Now worrying because of pains on my cancer side and do not know if is from shoveling snow or something else since had issues on mamo on my non-cancer side when I had that done the last few years that required more testing and 6 month watching. The cancer worry does not go away.
Dear friend just found out she has a rare cancer after pains and bleeding. Had to have appendix out already and there is cancer cells in her organs. Now seeing MO and going for more surgery to be scheduled cutting her from top to bottom and taking out part of her insides now. Chemo on the table before they close her up that is how bad it is. They said if she does not do it she dies in 3 years. Cancer stinks.
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Hi. Glad everyone made it through Thanksgiving without too much drama!
bc, so sorry about your friend. Holidays are harder now. Nice the grands can help you some, and I agree, less can be more. I also have a friend scheduled to get part of intestines removed on the 22nd! He had a bad infection with an abscess was hospitalized for a week. My son and I did the leaves at their home since he could not. Not sure what I'll do to help them out during his recovery. His wife is depressed with all this happening over both holidays. Going to see them on Sunday.
My kids and I went to sunny southern FL for Thanksgiving. My nephew and fiancee hosted. It was nice to meet her family and see some of mine. Their wedding will be in the Dominican Republic. I have to make a decision soon if I can swing it or not financially once I know how much. They are limited to the amount of people at the place they chose so if I opt out, that gives someone else, like a good young rich friend of theirs the opportunity to go. Their home is nice. He lent us his car and we went exploring and sat on the beach on Friday. Flew back on Saturday with only a 1 hr. delay. Trip was an A!!
Once home, I went into immediate people withdraw. There was silence. I was all alone - again. I went out on Sunday to visit my sister-in-law and that helped. I worked remote on Monday due to office renovation, so that also helped me get back to the Oh, I live here alone and it's OK. No need to panic.
Had a company meeting this week, and my medical insurance is staying the same. Thank goodness. Company is picking up the additional premium cost.
I forgot to get the lung cancer screening order from my MO last visit, so my GP wrote it. GP not part of Penn so I need the insurance authorization to schedule. If MO wrote it, Penn would see it and they would obtain it. What a racket.
Putting fall away and start the Christmas stuff this weekend. Hope I can get it done in a shorter amount of time, and with LESS.
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Hi. Glad everyone made it through Thanksgiving without too much drama!
bc, so sorry about your friend. Holidays are harder now. Nice the grands can help you some, and I agree, less can be more. I also have a friend scheduled to get part of intestines removed on the 22nd! He had a bad infection with an abscess was hospitalized for a week. My son and I did the leaves at their home since he could not. Not sure what I'll do to help them out during his recovery. His wife is depressed with all this happening over both holidays. Going to see them on Sunday.
My kids and I went to sunny southern FL for Thanksgiving. My nephew and fiancee hosted. It was nice to meet her family and see some of mine. Their wedding will be in the Dominican Republic. I have to make a decision soon if I can swing it or not financially once I know how much. They are limited to the amount of people at the place they chose so if I opt out, that gives someone else, like a good young rich friend of theirs the opportunity to go. Their home is nice. He lent us his car and we went exploring and sat on the beach on Friday. Flew back on Saturday with only a 1 hr. delay. Trip was an A!!
Once home, I went into immediate people withdraw. There was silence. I was all alone - again. I went out on Sunday to visit my sister-in-law and that helped. I worked remote on Monday due to office renovation, so that also helped me get back to the Oh, I live here alone and it's OK. No need to panic.
Had a company meeting this week, and my medical insurance is staying the same. Thank goodness. Company is picking up the additional premium cost.
I forgot to get the lung cancer screening order from my MO last visit, so my GP wrote it. GP not part of Penn so I need the insurance authorization to schedule. If MO wrote it, Penn would see it and they would obtain it. What a racket.
Putting fall away and start the Christmas stuff this weekend. Hope I can get it done in a shorter amount of time, and with LESS.
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ctmbiskia the trip sounds like a needed break for you fiom all you have been through.
We got our decorating all done and preents we ordered online are coming in and we went to go wrap some this afternoon but after about an hour or so I was tired out and then DH was tired and we started picking at each other and it is not fun so said we shoudl stop and then he got mad at that. If I can't remember what I am wrapping or for whom it is time to stop and go back another day. UGH.
Winds kicked up bad here today too 100 mile an hour and semi's flipping on the interstate even though they were told not to drive. School delayed or cancelled. Hate wind and this whole time of year is hard.
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ctmbiskia the trip sounds like a needed break for you fiom all you have been through.
We got our decorating all done and preents we ordered online are coming in and we went to go wrap some this afternoon but after about an hour or so I was tired out and then DH was tired and we started picking at each other and it is not fun so said we shoudl stop and then he got mad at that. If I can't remember what I am wrapping or for whom it is time to stop and go back another day. UGH.
Winds kicked up bad here today too 100 mile an hour and semi's flipping on the interstate even though they were told not to drive. School delayed or cancelled. Hate wind and this whole time of year is hard.
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very windy here in WNY. Son moved into new house today. We are going tomorrow to clean his old house and get any odds and ends. It's been almost a year since my dear SIL passed. Still missing her SO much. I am not a believer in heaven etc...but I do believe we are in some form after passing. After my SIL left us her daughter got pregnant, due in March so that is a blessing
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very windy here in WNY. Son moved into new house today. We are going tomorrow to clean his old house and get any odds and ends. It's been almost a year since my dear SIL passed. Still missing her SO much. I am not a believer in heaven etc...but I do believe we are in some form after passing. After my SIL left us her daughter got pregnant, due in March so that is a blessing
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I might go broke trying to take care of myself. Today I have the low dose CT screening for lung cancer since I meet the criteria. $500. co pay!!!!! When I logged in to the portal yesterday to do the pre check in I also paid a $600. bill I owe for God knows what. I transferred the money and paid the damn bills!!!
While I know that I should not let money dictate my health care, the other part of me just wants it to stop! I really don't want to know anything about my lungs. Will I pass? Are things the same or any different from last year? Oh boy. I really appreciate the opportunity to vent here and truly I should be grateful that I am not in constant treatment of any kind. I can't imagine paying a co pay every 3 weeks for chemo. Yet, the head battle is real. I should just suck it up and do what I can to keep healthy, rather than skipping all these tests and waiting until something happens.
Dec. 17th marks 5 years from that 1st biopsy and is the day I got the call that it came back as breast cancer.
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I might go broke trying to take care of myself. Today I have the low dose CT screening for lung cancer since I meet the criteria. $500. co pay!!!!! When I logged in to the portal yesterday to do the pre check in I also paid a $600. bill I owe for God knows what. I transferred the money and paid the damn bills!!!
While I know that I should not let money dictate my health care, the other part of me just wants it to stop! I really don't want to know anything about my lungs. Will I pass? Are things the same or any different from last year? Oh boy. I really appreciate the opportunity to vent here and truly I should be grateful that I am not in constant treatment of any kind. I can't imagine paying a co pay every 3 weeks for chemo. Yet, the head battle is real. I should just suck it up and do what I can to keep healthy, rather than skipping all these tests and waiting until something happens.
Dec. 17th marks 5 years from that 1st biopsy and is the day I got the call that it came back as breast cancer.
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Oh Ctmbsikia - I really sympathize with the bill issues. I have trouble when I look in the portal and see some big bill and then I can't figure out if I really owe it or if it's still pending with insurance, etc. I think they expect a lot from people who are often older and more often than not, not feeling well at all. I remember when I was getting chemo and really felt like crap, I would get bills that I couldn't even look at, much less figure out. Seems like within a couple of weeks they would send them to collections, while I was still so wiped out I could hardly get out of bed. I would think, "don't you cut any patients any slack, no matter what they are going through?" I eventually got it all sorted out and paid for, but I had to get to a point where I was better both physically and mentally - certainly not during the weeks and months I spent getting chemo!
I find it interesting that these medical places are completely insensitive to people's medical conditions when it comes to billing. It's pay up right away or it goes to collections - we don't care what your condition is or how you are feeling; just pay fast!
I had another issue where Medicare never got the word from my old work insurance or the hospital billing people that I had lost that work insurance over a year ago now. For the last year I keep getting bills that Medicare and my supplement should be paying, but they have been refusing; insisting that I have private insurance through work, that I haven't had for a year now. It has been taking me months to get all that straightened out, with little to no help from any of these insurance companies or the medical billing service.
Again, there seems to be little if any sympathy out there for people who are in a bad way and owe money.
Re all the tests and the co-pays, I have noticed that the doctors are real quick to suggest all sorts of tests if I complain of any new or "mildly passing" symptoms. I have learned that I need to weigh things and often tell them no thanks, that I will just continue to watch and wait. I know it's a gamble, but I have come to rely on that "listen to your body" sort of thing along with "watching and waiting". If the symptoms I have seem "kinda/sorta" I wait for something steady and increasing before I even tell them about it. They will suggest tests and/or drugs for just about anything I bring up, I have learned to be cautious and balance and weigh things more.
I'm sorry that you are dealing with all of this, but very happy to hear that you are now 5 years out. Congratulations in that department!
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