STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Sunshine, yes he is an Ortho Oncologist that’s why I had a lot of trust in him. It was a teaching hospital Keck USC Hospital, never again going to a teaching hospital.
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anx, so sorry! Hope you find another OO real soon without issue from your insurance.
I just spent $100 co pay for the foot and ankle doc to check a lump on my foot. It's a plantar fibroma which is harmless. I hate getting a new lump or anything happening, but I guess it's best to just go get it checked out. No treatment needed unless it changes, affects walking, or becomes really painful. The only time it's bothersome is when I'm wearing my sneakers, so time to throw those out and get a new pair.
I'm wearing my boots to a funeral tomorrow (flat no heel). My good friend lost her brother (59) to cancer. He had a tumor on his vocal cord, had surgery and treatment and was doing fairly well. Not sure what happened but his blood counts were off and he was bleeding internally and while in the hospital they found his cancer had spread. I'm not sure where to. My heart just breaks for her. She's a fellow BC gal (stage III), lost a sister to this disease, a husband to covid last November, and her entire family is almost all gone. She has 1 sister left whom she doesn't talk to, and a daughter who is out of the house and soon to be married.
That's a lot to take being in her early 60's. I'm very anxious about going.
I also have a baby shower tomorrow. Ain't that bittersweet? Death and life in the same day.
Hope y'all are doing well. We've winterized the bay cottage. I'm done for the season. Will leave you a pic from last weekend. Take care.
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anx, wow, that's crazy that you were at a teaching hospital. Usually, they're right on top of things. USC should have an excellent health care team. When I was UCSD (not for cancer) I was very happy with my care. I'm now part of the Scripps group. I've been happy with them. I truly hope you can find a better OO.
ctm, you have quite the weekend ahead of you. Years ago, we were having a baby shower for a friend. The friend was using another friend as a surrogate. On the way to the shower, a third friend died in a car accident. It was a shower of tears and laughter, sadness and joy. I'm so sorry for your friend. Haven't some people been through enough???
Carol
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sound like me except I’m not happy. Have headache, tired and want to feel loved and cared for. Is it due to age 73? When you feel tired do you ask dr for tests?
Anyone who can give me good suggestions to get out of myself and back to life. It’s been 5 years and I’m not happy/ content, others are able to pull it off. Yes I am alive but want more. Want to get away from the stress. Thanks praying for all of us who have thoughts of this.
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anx789,
I’m so sorry that you had to experience this. You mentioned possibly seeking a lawyer. Before you consider that, check the consent form that you signed. If it lists bone fracture as a possible result of the biopsy then legal action is likely to be unsuccessful. Even if it doesn’t, malpractice is notoriously difficult to prove. Having suffered a rare and life threatening complication after port insertion, I learned a bit about this.
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Exbrnxgrl, you’re right. I believe I have no case unless I can prove that this fracture made my prognosis worst, time will tell
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lovelau, I'm sorry you're having a rough time lately. I think we all get it. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it. I hope today is a better day for you.
(((hugs)))
Carol
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anx789 - I think Exbrnxgrl has a good point about the consent form you likely signed. See if it says bone fracture is a possibility.
I looked up my breast surgeon at one point and saw that he had been the subject of a malpractice suit, so I read the details, and it looks like the consent form the patient in that case had signed was very key to the trial. He is actually a general surgeon, so does more than just breast surgery, and in this case the woman had signed a consent saying she understood that a cut artery or vein (not sure which) and permanent disability was quite possible, and that is indeed what happened to her. She sued this surgeon and didn't have a prayer. It was one of those things where the jury was out for all of 2 minutes and came back having unanimously acquitted the surgeon.
There was a lot more to this story, and if a person read the details they would easily see why the surgeon was acquitted, aside from the consent form matter, but that consent form appeared to be very front and center in the case, and the first thing that the defense brought up as a reason why the surgeon should not be liable.
I'm just so sorry about your situation, and I hope that there is something that you can do to get some satisfaction. It does sound like the osteo that did the biopsy maybe took a far different approach than others might have. Given that you have the breast cancer history, I don't know why the osteomyelitis was his first thought, rather than a bone metastases. I wonder if he'd checked for that first, if all of what happened to you could have been prevented. That might be an avenue to pursue, i.e. that the most reasonable guess as to what your problem was was metastases, not osteomyelitis, and he was way off base in that regard. Just some random thoughts here. I really do hope you get some sort of resolution to this.
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threetree, common sense tells me there is negligence but it’s hard to prove in the court of law, you have to prove there was injury or irreparable harm.
•I read online that they don’t recommend doing open biopsy on fibula due to high risk of fracture- he should have known this, he’s supposed to be a well known ortho Onco. He's a professor-he might have done the biopsy for the education oh his students. I even think he’s students did the biopsy.•he told me he did his job, coming up with a diagnosis, that fracture is one of the risk. He could have do done needles biopsy first or recommend pet scan if he really cares. I have complete trust in this doctor. He made me believe it’s osteomyelitis, he even reported “very unlikely cancer” - my case might rely on this, if I can prove there was injury or irreparable harm.
•he took big samples- he could done something after surgery to prevent fracture. He discharged me with no restrictions.
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ctmbiskia beautiful picture thanks for sharing. I've been off for a few days online since the little grands wanted to sleep over with us. They are in 2nd and 4th grade now. The older ones think we are boring I guess and do not want to come to sleep over so they can have mom and dad to themselves I guess. Guess there was a reason we had kids young though since I could barely move. They have learned know that grandma does not look like mommy either since I had cancer and they had to cut part of me off so it is not just that we are old that I am all deformed at least. Sad you have to explain that stuff to kids.
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bcincolorado,
That sounds like you simply handled reality at an age appropriate level. Coincidentally, I was just thinking about my grandchildren and my bc this morning. They are 10, 6, and 4 and totally unaware that I have bc. I would like to tell the eldest that knowing that I was going to be a grandmother got me through the early months of dx, surgery, etc., and someday I will. I think I will know when the right time comes or when my dd’s think it’s time.
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I never asked my DIL or son what they thought. When the grandkids asked I just told them I cancer. Their mom is a nurse who works on an oncology clinic right now at the hospital right now (she has had other positions there as well) so they kind of know about cancer from what their mom does already. I wanted to be honest with them though. Three are girls although we know guys an get it too
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So sad this place is so quiet. Hope everyone is well. I'm doing OK, I think. Seems I maybe a little depressed and also over stimulated at the same time if that's possible. Have some ear ringing and my chin feels weird. Seems like anxiety and I don't know why or how to stop it! I'm taking an extra 10mg of my anti-depressant to see it that helps.
My football team is 7-0 and our baseball team is winning 2 games to 1 in the World Series. Last night's game was a complete butt whooping!!!! So, what should be an enjoyable and joyful time which in part it is, I can't shake not feeling myself. Today I wondered if I may have a little ptsd? Last time the Eagles won the super bowl (Feb. 4-2018) I had just been through my diagnosis and was just out of surgery 5 days when I went to the city for the parade. It was one of the best days of my life! Then it all started to hit me, around radiation time which is when I found this site and joined up. I still am grateful that I had all that distraction back then. If we win does that mean something bad is going to happen? I mean, I just read an article that each time the Phillies win a world series the country goes into a financial crisis. My God. Stop robbing me of joy!! I've had very little of it these last few years.
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ctmbiskia that is crazy to think that. I think those people who are "running the markets" are the ones to blame for everything if you as me. They are not happy no matter what. Rates are too low so they gripe about people spending too much money as a result and then when they raise the rates they complain about that and stocks tumble and all the retirement accounts suffer. I won't even open my statements anymore when they come. We will not touch it until we absolutely have to anyway so at this point does not matter anyway and decided it was causing me too much grief.
My mom somehow "broke" her charger for her computer. DH thinks her dog chewed on the cord or something really. He tried to order a new one which just came and his is like hers since they bought the same kind at the same time and checked it out when it got here a few minutes. Wrong dumb charger. She had had to bring her computer over a few times to charge it up and then she only opens it once a day to check her email and turns it off to save the charge. It is driving her crazy though since used to live on her laptop all day long and play her games and do video chats with a friend of hers on it and now she can't do that either. Don't know if we can find one here in town to get it to her tomorrow or not. Guess that will be the project tomorrow.
Two weeks before more doctor stuff for me and then I have 2 in one week. The fun never ends.
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Already getting stressed out about the Thanksgiving holiday and family stuff. Son asking if "we have plans" but that would mean driving 45 minutes there in who know what and how many people would be there and I do not do well with crowds and they do not eat like I do either. Love my son and grandkids but then it is probably also her folks there and as well and possible his siblings as well and then that makes even more people and they do not even sit at a table do buffett stuff a lot of times at those things which I do not like either. Do not want to offend but would rather just have my mom who lives 2 miles from us and in her 80''s over and we sit quietly and cook and send leftovers home with her and watch a movie and do not have to dress and talk to people if I do not want to. ]
Hate holidays sometimes and it seems it gets worse and worse every year.
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That's a hard one, however, I say do whatever you want and hopefully no one will be offended. Can you maybe visit with your son and grandkids over the Thanksgiving weekend when there's not so many people?
My husband would get angry with me that we would always spend holidays with my family and not his. We came up with a compromise and he started cooking breakfast for his mother and stepdad, his siblings, and at times I combined the families. For many years my holidays started at the crack of dawn and went all day. It was a lot of work but now I am so glad to have all those memories.
Since he's gone now, I've been in flight mode around holiday time. Getting away hasn't worked out until this year. We are going to FL for Thanksgiving. Nephew's house. A little nervous, it's like 20 people and I don't know all of them well, but it will be a mini vacation with my kids.
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bcincolorado - I think ctmbsikia has a real good suggestion. I can sympathize with your feelings. Maybe you could tell your son that you aren't feeling super "social" or even well, and that you'd like to just have your mother over and since she is in her 80's you don't think she should be exposed to so many others right now with Covid, etc., and that you'd love to visit with him and his kids over the week-end. I don't see how that could offend anyone. Your mother might really appreciate it too. I have several friends who now spread their Thanksgiving week-end out over the days and see other family and friends in "small groups" at various times over the holiday. It seems to work well for many. I even have one friend who's family have moved their celebration to that Saturday, as it allows a brother to come up from another state without all the usual traffic. It also allows the others then to join other family or friends on actual T-day.
Covid still is a very important factor in social gatherings these days. I don't think I'd want to be with a crowd this Thanksgiving, and am still pondering just what I will do. I don't think you should feel bad at all, and hope that you arrive at a solution you are not just comfortable, but happy, with. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
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bcincolorado, I say do Thanksgiving the way that makes you happy. Your picture of just you and your mom sounds perfect! Not that you need a valid excuse, but you could always use your health as a reason to stay home. Maybe your son could come visit YOU on the weekend.
Ccm, this is your first holiday without your husband, right? I hope the mini vacation with your kids is fun.
We're going to my dad's place for Thanksgiving. My sister and her husband will be there. I'm looking forward to it.
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It all seems like so much work no matter what and kind of like an excuse to over eat sometimes and then you feel bad because of that and you were trying to be "good" for long. At home we do things with fake sugar and low carb and no salt at least because of health issues. Lean turkey is not bad in moderation. My mom has even taken to having a baked sweet potato instead of mashed sometimes.
My uncle emailed (older than my mom and having his 86th birthday in a week and half and Stage IV cancer he has been dealing with) emailed he was out somewhere and was notified he was near someone who tested positive for COVID. Now even though vaccinated he does not trust the home tests and is scheduling to the doctor to be checked out again. With the chemo drugs he is on he is worried I know. Told him he just needs to stay home all the time and let his kids bring his food to him from the store.
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ok this site still sucks since it was changed. I saw where someone wanted to start a new forum where people checked in on occasion to track how they were doing with and without AL's. If I wasn't so dang lazy, I would look for it. I'm in if someone can give me the name of it as my brain doesn't remember. I started taking the exemestane in august with the usual SE but not as bad LOL. However, I am getting more heart palpitations and am wondering if this might be a SE. So I am only taking it on the odd days of the week. I decided on odd days since every other wasn't working for me.I know it's the same thing but filling my pill reminder just wasn't working. I'm pretty sure when I see onco in Feb I will be done with these meds. I know.....I say this every few months. A friend of mine is newly dx, having her MRI this month. I haven't recommended this site as I wonder is it a good thing or not? I have mixed feelings about it. I like the support and seeing how everyone is but since the data breach I see less people checking in.
bcincolorado, a small gathering sounds like the way to go. Our family is up to 45 people and some of them still want to get together. It's too much!!! I can't stand the noise and the drama. My daughter and granddaughter will come here. Other daughter and her wife sometimes come but it depends on their dog's wellbeing. Son has inlaws he has to keep happy. If it's just a little gathering thats fine with us. Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. I wish we celebrated in Oct like Canada does.
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I do not even remember the data issue and have been here a long time. I did think the other site was more "user friendly" and some of us are not as techie as other people and think some of that is the issue as well.
I do think there is a "select a forum" on the new upgraded site at the bottom but think with the colors t is harder to see. Kind of on the bottom. There may be others with that same medication as well.
If you do see your MO until Feb again and think you are having SE do you have a way to send messages to your MO and have either the doc or nurse answer you about that? If nothing else put in a call since I am not sure I would want to wait that long with heart things going on. Best wishes to you.
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@kidi919 perhaps this is the forum you are referring to? https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/78/topics/883515?page=2#idx_13
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Well DD called and their Thanksgiving planned changed and now staying at our house and coming on Tuesday before and going home on Friday. Not a big deal for us since love my DD and do we do not see them often since live a state away. Then DH told me since my mom is here and they are going to be here for dinner our son said his wife had to work and it would just be him and kids trying to figure out Thanksgiving so DH said to invite them too and my neice and her her husband and daughter who live here too so now I will end up having not just 3 of us (us and my mom and low key) it will drama with 8 more coming including the grands. Love them all but a ton of work and I do get tired.
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Ask everyone to bring their favorite dish, then fill in what else you need. Men can cook too! Especially when TOLD to. And it is a great time for grandkids to set the table! They need to learn sometime and around family is best. Spread the fun around!
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My grocery store here, Publix, does a great dinner. Heat and eat. Can order a bunch of the usual sides too. We’ve done it for several years, much easier and always good. The biggest hassle is getting the big box in the house. There will be 6 of us. I’ll make a chess pie, DD will make a pumpkin. Dinner is done.
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spookiesmom, I make chess pies too. A favorite!
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They are good!!!
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bcincolorado - I agree with Spookiesmom that you might want to check out local grocery store offerings. So many put the whole thing together in a box now and all you need to do is re-heat, and add your own "favorites" or special touches, etc. After my mother died and my father wasn't as up to things as he had been (he was in his late 80's) he started ordering from the grocery store too, and then I would do the reheating at his house. The first year after she died, he wanted the two of us to try and do the whole thing like before, but neither one of us had enough energy (I was in my late 50's and he was in his late 80's). For those last few years he was alive it was just him, my brother, and me - circumstances had just kind of left the 3 of us to have holidays together at my parents' old house. After a few years, my father got so bad (but still insisted on being the host and primary provider) it was too much for him to even do the grocery store re-heat thing, so we decided to just do our regular Sunday get together thing, where we all just had a sandwich - we just made sure they were turkey that last year of his life, and then I brought pecan pie (his favorite) and wine. That turned out to be a real nice Thanksgiving and just that pie, ice cream, and wine added to our turkey sandwich fare went real well. No mess, no fuss, no overtired people afterward, but lot's of togetherness and a good time.
Since Covid, I've been doing Thanksgiving alone in my apartment and I just get the deli food for myself. I go to my local organic co-op sort of place and they have everything all ready either as a boxed up and re-heat sort of thing, or you can get separate turkey and sides, which is what I usually do. I add a couple of extra things to the stuffing before I reheat it, pour my self a glass of wine and top it all off with the store bought pie (some of the local small businesses make great pie!). I just get enough for T-day and a little left over for the following week-end and it's great. I love the food, just miss the company.
I am glad that something worked out for you, bcincolorado, and that you will be together with so many of your family. With that sort of crowd, you should be getting lots of help, and either the pot luck idea or the grocery/deli package and re-heat suggestions (or combo of both) should work well. I don't see where the burden would or should fall on you with so many adults coming to your home. You should have a whole crew of help there. Whatever you do - have a real nice Thanksgiving!
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bc- Getting the meal made for you sounds like a wonderful idea. Just make dessert or something like that. That all changed quickly!
tt-I spent the better part of Christmas Day last year by myself. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I can now see how some people prefer it.
I just asked my coworker if she could notarize a codicil to my will since me and the kids are all flying together next week. I want to put my younger brother as a beneficiary (just in case). I know, I'm a little crazy thinking like that. It's free though.
I saw the NP at SO office on Friday. Told her I'm doing well, no concerns other than going broke paying all these co pays and deductibles. She did say if it would break my bank, it was OK to do an MRI every other year although I left there with the order. The gal at the desk requested that I schedule the MRI and then call for an appointment. I don't like that Think I have a work around. If the SOs office is booked out more than a month from having an MRI scheduled, I will just call back and push the MRI. I also know I shouldn't let money (or lack thereof) dictate my health care. If I am a high risk, I should just get the imaging done and ask about getting the BCI test as I am approaching the 5 yr. mark. There's still a part of me that's wants to run the other way and just not know. I can just as easily not schedule anything! The inner battle continues. Going to try not to think about this until I see what my insurance will be next year. I have a low dose lung cancer screening to go before year's end and that's it. Spent the entire $1800 that I put in the HSA account, met and am over the $3500 deductible. Will figure out where to take the $ from to pay the remaining balances by year's end as well. Best to start out fresh? I don't know, it's all still exhausting to me.
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Decided to pass off one turkey to my neice to cook in her roaster and bring over already cooked and then we can just do one here and the rolls. Letting my mom boil the eggs for deviled eggs at her house and make cranberry relish at her house. I will do pies the day before and my mom is making another dessert to bring as well. Having son pick up suffing mix and take home since just him and kids and easy to carry and he can put in a dish and we can warm if we need to. Trying not to sress too much and focus on 2 doc apointments this week I have.
Met deductible earlier in the month at least but hopefully the one today won't order more tests which could mean more I end up paying for since they seem to bill later and could just see it being and issue if it is. We are trying not to touch our retirement money right now and live on SS which we can do most of the time and not get into our savings account at all but with the holidays coming I can see that happening.
Uncle who has cancer in another State said he is not cooking and sounds like kids are spending holiday with their families and he is going to be alone. Sad. I remember those days too. Had a turkey tv dinner one year.
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