STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Well put! Love that line you have about NOT TODAY. Have to put that somewhere on a post it note on mirror to see it in the morning when I get up and look at it in the morning. I am here TODAY. Make it the best one I can TODAY.
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Howdy steam room. What I wouldn't give to be in one right now, or a hot tub. My wrist, hands, fingers are killing me!!!! Right one especially today. It's just getting progressively worse. I notice this tingling all day long now, and I always had trouble at night. Even before BC. I try to sleep on my back with my hands under my arse! I think I have a carpal boss lump on my left hand. It doesn't hurt thankfully.
I'm going to pick up a refill of anastrozole as well as 2 new braces since I can't find my old one and see if wearing them helps at all. If it doesn't, I'm seriously considering stopping the AI. The braces (as I remember) did help me before, so I hope they will again. I also have a liquid form of glucosamine which I've taken before for leg pain, and it worked as needed. Not sure if it will help my hands and wrists. Seeing a new internal med doc at the end of the month. Also, MO is retiring, so getting a new one of those too. Everybody new this year but I suppose it is bound to happen.
Anyway, just having a bad painful day but it's almost over and I'll be heading to the Advil bottle and off to dinner with friends and having at least one margarita. Maybe 2!
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Hugs to you ctmbiskia. We are dealing with the worst snow storm we have had in a long time. Snow blower won't even work on it because it is so deep. After my fall last year I cant even go help and DH who is disabled himself is out there with a heated coat trying to work out there for the last few days. Caused issues with reception and shows and movies we were recording as well. Guess thankful we have enough food in the house for many days so do not have to leave here if it came down to it have not lost power at this point since some folks have. We have also not had a tree go down because of the heavy wet snow and some have had that to deal with as well. Saw on the news yesterday about someone had one fall on their house!!!
Weather is terrible all over right now it seems and know those dealing with medical issues can't get to the appointments at all. Cancer is hard enough when weather is decent and no weather issues.
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Hey Gang!
Need to vent! Our so-called friends knowing our new bed was being delivered yesterday began texting us at 8 a.m. yesterday about if the bed had been delivered and set up yet. They knew it was supposed to be delivered between 11 and 3 yesterday. It ended up being delivered a little earlier. As soon as they found this out, they kept bugging us about going somewhere with us for the day. By this point from holding my 30 lb. dog while the old bed was being taken out and the new one being set in place, my back was screaming in pain, I was not feeling up to going, but they insisted and got their way. Knowing my back was hurting, our so-called friend’s husband didn’t even ask if I minded he sat in my seat which has lumbar support for my back and is set to my specific comfort! I got forced to sit behind my hubby in a seat that has no support for my back. The guy slouches in my seat and always changes the settings to suit him, so when I get in the car, I have to change it back to my comfort level! Plus he messes with the vents on my side of the car so there is no air flowing in his face! So that has to be adjusted too when I’m in the car! On top of this, my hubby and I knew one of the college basketball teams we watch were playing yesterday afternoon and we usually can catch it on the radio. Again, our so-called friends nearly made us miss the game on the radio as they proceeded to change the radio to a station they wanted without asking despite it being our car! My hubby asked me to look up the station the game was on, so I did and he changed it to the game. They got in a snit because they had to sit through the game! On top of this, hubby and I wanted to eat at Red Lobster, we got forced by the couple to eat where they wanted and now both hubby and I are not feeling a bit on the sick side from it. One of these times I’m going to blow my top and lay the law down to them that it’s our car, our gas and our health they are screwing with!
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Did your team win? Mine did :)
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mOmmyof3, so much for "friends." What is wrong with people?
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Homemom,
mine won but lost to Illinois today. Hubby’s alma mater is a #1 seed. Mine got put in the bracket that has Duke in it (insert choice of curses here lol)0 -
Sunshine,
I know.Then my FIL started his usual crap today. I can’t win.
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DH watches the games but watches somewhere else since not my thing. I have shows I record he hates and watch those. With us both at home all day it does us good to be in different places in the house sometimes. Keeps the peace in the house that way. Then he and our son text each other about the games often. They used to watch together when he lived at home and was young. But now he is in his upper 30's with 4 kids. He and his dad just watch by text now.
Remembered need to sit and schedule about 3 medical appointment. DH wants to get taxes worked on as well. Dog also has to get in for one as s well for her annual checkup and shots. May wait until he works on those to work on the appointments since he prefers to be left alone. Hate trying to schedule stuff and deal with all the medical stuff too. Sometimes kind of want to ignore everything and live like nothing is ever wong with me.
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hi all
Why can’t my parents get it through their heads that “high risk of recurrence” and “grade 3 aggressive” means don’t waste time you probably dont have? They are so negative about me taking trips and doing things that cost money. I have no kids or husband. I’m not saving my money to bequeath to anyone. I’m 62 and not looking to retire just yet but I’m going to travel and do quilt retreats. They have chosen to sit at home and do little or nothing in their 80’s. No friends, no hobbies, not even long visits with family because “the cats can’t be left alone for long”. My two cats do just fine for a few days alone and pet sitters can take care of longer absences! They don’t limit my travel time in the slightest!
Three childhood friends want to travel back to Norway with me in 2025 to visit the place we met and grew up together. Mom says have you done your taxes, I say not yet but the refund is going into the Norway trip fund. She tells me she thinks I should forget that trip. WTF? WHY? Too expensive she says. I say what part of 86 percent chance of being alive in 5 years sounds encouraging to you? And the 10 year statistic is even lower. How long am I supposed to wait before I do the things I want to do? I’m going to Norway next year damnnit!3 -
kathryn, good for you! As an adult woman, you’re free to spend your money and your life how you want! I think everyone on this forum would agree that your travel plans sound wonderful. Move on from your parents’ judgement. I’ve learned so much about putting boundaries in my life the past few years and it’s helped me to live life on a fuller level. One expression I love is “stop shrinking to fit places you’ve outgrown.” I don’t put up with being treated poorly by others the way I used to.
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Oh, kathryn, I think parents will always be parents. I agree that you should take the trip. Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead! What are you supposed to do? Sit home and wait to die?
Divine, I love that quote. It's so fitting.
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GO on the trip. You won’t regret it. As an adult you can choose how to live your life. If your parents wish to sit home they can do so, but you need to keep living.
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kathryn,
I echo what others have said. While it is very respectful of you to consider your parents opinion, I will be blunt… you are almost a senior citizen. If you are doing nothing illegal or ethically questionable, your parents have no say in how you live your life or spend your money. You are also a far better woman than I am as I would have been very upset with my parents for thinking they could interfere with how I spent my time and money in my 60’s!
Waste of money? Unless you are not able to afford the trip, what else do we have money for but to enjoy what it can buy (bills not withstanding)? At 62 it’s time to loudly declare your independence. Go, enjoy, and firmly establish your adulthood with your parents!
PS: I have been living with mbc for 12 years and do whatever the heck I want with my time and money and you should too. One of my few remaining travel fantasies is to see the Aurora Borealis from Norway on a Hurtigruten ship!2 -
From one Kathryn to another - you are an adult - you should be able to enjoy your life with whatever pursuits you choose. While others can comment on your choices - it is your life, and only yours. Enjoy it, it is precious and if the ghastly C does nothing else - at least it has helped me understand how precious being able to enjoy life is. As others have observed - I have noticed it has also helped me say "no" and self-advocate. Enjoy the power.
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kathyn parents are not wanting to "think the worst" of course. It does not matter how old you are they still think you are going to be fine. You need to enjoy life and do this dream trip while you have the energy to get it done.
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Runor , I've been off BCO since 2018. Lost to many friends in a short time. But your post got me when I came back for a look. Their was a sorority pledge song. since 1970 thereabouts, got me through many life events and negative days. Sometimes I screamed it, sometimes I hummed it. The tune is a typical camp song
"Shit Damn hell, son of a bastard bitch, rape screw fuck you, and you can go to hell too" It's horrible. But it's a great rage Screaming it, does give a peace. I know very strange1 -
Runor, back here tonight, years gone, and responding to a second note of yours. Random. No clue how you are doing. But your rant is well founded. CANCER sucks, anyone that perceives we caused this is an analpore. I.e. asshole. In my family on the paternal side grandmother is the clue for 12of21 women having BC. It would seem "someone" with that statistic would jump at us and say should study the family. I have tried. NADA.
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Sas-schatzi - Loved seeing your sorority chant and can totally understand it! I might copy it down and use it myself. I found it interesting that you have a "formalized" chant like that, because over the years I have found that when I get really frustrated I sometimes recite a rote stream of memorized profanities all in a row to myself. I think it's a similar phenomenon to your chant and it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this stress reduction technique. When I first found myself doing it, seemingly out of nowhere, I was actually ashamed and embarrassed for myself because I don't normally use the words in my string of profanities and couldn't believe I was doing that, even all alone with no one around. Now I don't feel so bad.
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My husband…he aggravates me 😭 he’s always been a health hypochondriac. Like seriously always thinks he has some sort of bad health problem or cancer. He will talk himself into believing this stuff and literally won’t drop it until he gets some sort of imaging or tests to rule them out. Sometimes that’s still not enough. And then what’s worse is he thinks the radiation will end up giving him cancer!!! It’s INSANE.
and then I feel very selfish because I’m thinking, I actually DO have cancer, but it’s never about me. In fact his mental issues have him downright mean at times. It’s like he forgets that I have cancer. No I don’t want him loathing over me, or making me be the constant center of attention, but I don’t need his stupid shit right now. He’s fine. Why can’t he just act it?! Rant over.0 -
I am slow to anger but I am floored by a recent pm exchange. Due to my unusually long survival at stage IV, I occasionally get pm’s asking about treatment, lifestyle, etc. I am always happy to answer questions but it’s often a let down as I have no secret diet, lifestyle, protocol, etc., to explain my progression free longevity. Today, I got a pm from someone I’d corresponded with recently. Here’s what stopped me in my tracks… she asked if I ever had breast cancer at all! I cannot tell you how hurt and angry I was by that question. 12 freaking years, biopsies, surgeries, recon, rads, collapsed lung, AI’s and she asks if I had breast cancer at all !!!
The idea that she thinks I am either faking it or that all my medical providers have been putting me through procedures and treatments I don’t need is beyond the pale. It doesn’t happen often but I am both hurt and angry.5 -
@exbrnxgrl, just wow! It would be difficult to respond calmly to that. Good luck.
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Thanks,malleemiss. I am one of the most even keeled people and rarely get upset, not even about bc! However, this has happened to me once before on bco and twice IRL. Other than being thin, I look completely well and have throughout most of my bc journey. I realize full well that I do not look like a stage IV patient and don’t meet some image that people have of stage IV but it is impossibly rude and very upsetting to hear those who are not doctors, not MY doctor, and don’t know me at all, question or doubt my diagnosis. I just came back from walking my sweet dog. That always helps 😊
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I am mad/sad in your behalf @exbrnxgrl! You’ve inspired me and I dare say most of us here!!! How could anyone even wonder something like that?
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Thanks, needs.a.nap. I am actually sitting here still in disbelief, despite the lovely dog walk. “ Did you have breast cancer at all?” , her words keep echoing in my head. I simply cannot imagine joining a bc forum and contacting a (long term) member for support but then questioning whether that person ever had bc. As I said, it’s beyond the pale and it has really upset me. I might need a glass of wine 🍷
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Oh Caryn!! To say that to you! The nicest long time poster here! Take Pumpkin for another walkie, and 2 glasses of wine. Dr Barbs orders😍
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exbrnxgrl, I’m stunned and mad enough to throw my cup of tea across the room. WTF would someone say that to you??? You went out of your way to offer support and this is what you got.
I’ll join you in a glass of wine 🍷. Red or white?
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Exbrnxgirl- there is no accounting for some people's.…audacity? insensitivity? stupidity?
I'm so sorry. Snuggle that puppy again.
I vote for red. 🍷
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I can't believe someone would even ask someone that question! There is no reason for anyone to be here unless you were diagnoses or someone who is supporting someone and there are boards for that as well. It is something that never goes away no matter what stage you are and the tests go on and on and on and the fear never ends. It affected every part of you. Those side effects go on and on once you have diagnosed. Bone issues. Joint issues. Other issues. Energy. Cancer is terrible and how dare them even question you.
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Exbrnxgrl, How long has the person who pm’d you questioning your diagnosis been a bco member?
If it were me, I would enlist the help of the moderators. I’d pm them, explain the situation, and report the person who pm’d you as harassment. Because that’s what it is. Over the years, I’ve had a few distressing interactions with members here, and I turned to the moderators for insight and support. I found them to be level headed and they offered good advice. There’s no need for you to put up with a member who’s questioning your authenticity.1
