STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Excellent article BCIncolorado....it's exactly how I feel but don't know how to express it...
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Keep me in prayer....I'm so tired these days....no energy, sleeping in the chair, no appetite, brain mets symptoms all back....big blind spot in vision, hard to read and type now.
Brain scan not for another couple weeks.
I'm losing my will to fight. If brain scan is as bad as I think it will be (the 20+ mets are active), I will go on to hospice becuz they can't do wbr again.
I am so done with all of this. Back hurts, hips hurt, femur hurts, pelvis hurts. I wonder if the taxol is doing anything at all.
L
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Lita,
All I can say is I'm sorry you are suffering so.
Amy
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Oh Lita. I have been following your story, and you have such a zest for life. I'm so sorry that your body is letting you down. No matter what happens, I hope you find peace and continue to find joy in the small things. I hope that the Taxol is helping; it helped me. But, if not, ((Hugs)).
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Lita, I am sorry to hear this as well. I hate this disease so much, taking everything away from us. I am praying for relief for you as well.
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Lita, so sorry to hear that you are going through this. You are in my prayers. Gentle hugs.
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Lita- my heart hurts for you sweetie! Everyone here has gown to love you.
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Lita, you are definitely in my prayers. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad. Love your honesty, zest for life, as others have said. The grace you have handled all of this with is amazing. I don't know that I would have that. You joke, take the time to listen to others and lift them up and know when to ask for others to lift you up.
I so enjoyed the pictures of your trip and your beautiful daughter and adorable dog, I have never been to that part of California. Seeing it through you eyes, I want to go!
The weirdest part about breast cancer, to look at you in photos, no one would have a clue what you are dealing with. That's probably a blessing and a curse.
Obviously I really don't know what to say. I do hear you and feel free to set me straight if I said something that is not comforting.
I was a bit miffed at work yesterday. I was talking to a great friend and someone who has dealt with breast cancer. A coworker walked in and mentioned someone recently diagnosed hormone positive. He said, "I think people are just shocked. She eats clean, is holistic, doesn't drink. They can't get their heads around it."We didn't punch him in the throat but said no kidding! Glad you finally get it!
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I'm so sorry to hear that Lita...you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
Ihate this stupid disease.
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Lita~ everyone here loves you. I am at such a loss for words anymore. Special people I adore are suffering because of this damn stupid cancer. I am so sick of it! I wish for you Lita, to be pain free and sharing moments with your family. Even If you can't type, we are here loving you, sending strength of love and support, that miles cannot change. We love you Lita! ~M~
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lita this s#cks big time. It is so unfair. You shouldn't need to deal with this cr# p. I am angry at the universe for your pain.
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Lita, this sucks. Im sending you all the positive vibes and energy that I can.
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Lita - whether or not you go into hospice, it's time for them to be certain your pain care is the best it can be. My arms are around you, dear Lita. Dream tonight of the best times you have ever had.
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Now that I’m down to one naphostomy bag my poor little bladder is not used to it. I’m up 3 times a night to pee! Not complaining though. Just tired.
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HoneyBadger47, your story about what happened at your work resonated with me. I'm often under impression that on some level and covertly people look for something that I did that gave me cancer. They have a hard time comprehending that in most cases it's just bad luck.
My boss brought a box of European chocolates to the office after her vacation. I am known for my sweet tooth. One of my coworkers who used to love chocolate, declined to take one this time and she followed with this announcement to everyone around us: "sugar causes cancer!" - just as I was popping a piece of chocolate into my mouth. Not only insensitive, but also ignorant.
I never smoked, I don't drink, I eat a good amount of veggies and fruits. But I have a sweet tooth, so I guess I caused my cancer, in some minds... I also happened to live relatively close to Ukrainian border when Chernobyl blew up in my teenage years, but never mind, it's the sugar that gave me cancer (I'm being facetious, of course).
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BB, people are idiots. I told my story about a co-worker in the stupid comments thread. I guess I should have put it here. It is even worse coming from someone you work with because you have to see them every day. I am so sick of the "sugar feeds cancer" notion. Yes, too much sugar is not good for you for a multitude of reasons, but it does not feed cancer!
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https://globalnews.ca/news/3814185/sugar-and-cancer/
My sister sent me this link a couple weeks ago followed by a message to "Have a great day!" to which I replied "Here's information about how pretty much anything you eat is going to kill you. Have a great day?"
I have VERY little added sugar in my diet, but I don't avoid fruit.
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From Stupid Comments thread:
So, I have read this thread for over 2 years and considered myself lucky, until this past week. Before then, the only stupid comment I got was from one of my "best friends." She visited me shortly after my first mastectomy. Not only did she stay for 3 hours, she told me, "Oh, you have to have reconstruction, men love breasts!" after I said that I wasn't doing reconstruction. I did end up having reconstruction, but only after I thoroughly researched and soul searched, not because of what men think! She is still my friend, but not as close as we once were. Then, this week in a staff meeting where we were discussing FERPA (privacy laws) as we have a new student with spina bifida, some of my more ignorant colleagues couldn't understand why we can't just tell everybody that he has SB. I tried to enlighten them by saying, "Well, as someone who has cancer, it might have a negative connotation." A colleague who violates privacy issues all the time, waves at me dismissively and says, "That's just in your head, Sherry." I responded by saying "No!" but then was cut off by her. The principal then changed the subject. I really wanted to say, so when you hear the word cancer, your reaction is positive? I hardly ever speak in staff mtgs. and rarely discuss anything about cancer at work, so this really ticked me off. Fortunately, a real friend came to check on me afterwards and understood. The "best friend" from above did not. When I mentioned that the next day, she said, "Well, you are sensitive about that." I looked her straight in the eye and said, "How about you get cancer and let's see how sensitive you are?" Think I am done with her.
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Yeah...I get tired of hearing the "sugar feeds cancer" stuff ....
Perigrinelady: I LOVE your response to your "best friend"!!!!!!! I have wanted to say something like that SO many times!!! That was Perfect!!!!!!!
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all I can say is Dicks! Unreal. People are idiots. Insensitive ignorant jerks that really don't understand unless this ...........................
becomes your daily life. Let them walk a milein our shoes. Geeze. You just want to smack them right in the head. Much love to all ~M~0 -
Thanks, I got it from these boards. Several women have responded in the same way when people have downplayed their diagnosis. How about we trade places then? I held on to that in my brain evidently, and blurted it out at just the right time. I was too flabbergasted in the meeting to respond, but I think that will be my favored response from now on. 😝
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Ok. Just gotta vent. My first set of scans after 6 not so easy months on Ibrance happen tomorrow. I am weak from anemia. I get dizzy from a massive problem with grinding my teeth. I have had Utis and viruses galore. I don't think I've been outside for more than 5 minutes this past week. I ignore my family and don't even try to plan anything. This is just so wrong ! Six months into stage 4 and I might as well be on my death bed. I hate hate hate this disease !!!!!! It has taken so much already.
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JFV....I SO FEEL YOUR PAIN and FRUSTRATION!
I have no motivation to do anything. The Taxol is a lot harder than people say it is because everyone handles it differently....same with Ibrance and all the damn AI Tx's too.
My wbc's are the lowest they've ever been in my life, and I'm afraid to go anywhere. I have to drag myself to the bank tomorrow to get some paperwork taken care of.
Seems all I do now is go get my blood work done, next day infusion, then sack out on the La-Z-Boy or the couch.
Last night I had a real hard time sleeping - it was really cold, and I was anxious and didn't feel like myself, thank you 20+ brain tumors!!! Thank God we all got an extra hour of sleep bcuz of the end of daylight savings.
Hoping for better days for all of us. I won't have my next brain scan for weeks yet....sigh.
L
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hugs, hugs and more hugs, Lita.
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Oh Lita ! I so agree ! This isn't life. It's exsisting
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sigh had a breakdown kinda day. Feeling ok today this chemo round has been ok. Needed benadryl the day after and made a world of difference. Just achy sore tired body. So doing A O K lol but breakdown.. I recieve the gcfx needles (neupogen) 7 to 10 of them depending on bloodwork. Anyway we have a nurse service here that come to the house. They are to teach to self administer and i refuse 100% cant mentally do it. No way. I cant even look when they do it.. And panic when the nurse comes in.. Yep big baby. Anyway i have told last 5 nurses this. I cant wont no way... The last nurse said they were gonna drop me and i had to learn. Had a complete breakdown cried and had panic attack. Grrr anyway after the nurse said she talk to manager and heads to be... Shes the 4th nurse that has said this... Grrrr I called my Cancer navigator and had another breakdown. Shes gonna fix it wooo! Shes gonna talk to the heads of bee that i wont do the shots myself and to reduce my stress they not to mention it again phewwww. Its so unfair that i had to get to the point of crying like a 4 year old to get something done. Yeah that really helps our healing grr. I had to call outside the heads of be to get something done. This was earlier today and im still upset.
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I too get so upset when medical staff does not listen. What I speak is my truth and there is a reason for it. They want to force their way instead of dealing with the patient and their concerns and needs. I am stressed, tired, nervous, anxious, depressed, angry as hell and I don't need something shoved down my throat for the sake of their pleasure or ease of workload.
At oncology where I was going until I switched this last week, I am "The TURNIP" You know, can't get blood out of a turnip. And for labs they would send just anyone to "practice" on me, I feel. When I was just starting there I sat through 45 min of sticks and no blood while 3 or 4 nurses tried. Finally there was one who always got it so relieved. Then she left. And I was a sitting duck but no longer tolerant. So now I am treated like I am difficult. They send the new girl or the one who could not gt blood time before last and I say no, get someone else if you don't have years of experience and a lot of tricks. But I have been left sitting there for 45 min in lab room bcz they are too busy to stop and take labs. I switched to the hospital for labs though there are times the MO says he needs labs right now and I am stuck with them. I would leave completely ticked off and blood pressure UP. For no good reason. I am not a saint and do not relax easily.
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BBwithBC45 I'm sorry your coworker did that to you. It was insensitive.
I have certainly learned a lot since having BC. I'm sure I have stuck my foot in my mouth. I can assure I would not say something like that about the sugar while a BC personwas eating it. She seems to be catty or passive aggressive. I try to ignore people like that. It is hard not to take the bait.
Hang in there.
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Lita, I am so sorry you have to go through this. wish we could all be there for you. Please know you are in our hearts and in our minds.
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Good Housekeeping article "15 things not to say to someone with breast cancer"
Most of ours are in here. I was amazed.
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