CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Love it Robin!
I wanted to thank those of you who gave me input on my MO dilemma, which has been on my mind a lot...I probably will start looking into changing docs...the problem I have is two-fold: first, the things I like about him are important also, but secondly, my options in this semi-rural area are very limited unless I am willing to travel to one of the UC Medical Centers in SF, Sacramento or LA: two to 4.5 hours away depending on which one I choose...but, now that I am seeing MO less often, it could be worth it. I will at least think about it. I do travel for my ophthalmologist for my vision issues, but I commenced the travel only because no one around here had any idea what was going on. Sadly, bc is much more common....
Off for a bit of retail and dining therapy. Hope all have a wonderful holiday!
Octogirl
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DD sent this to me this morning. Jan
CALIFORNIA WINTER
By Karl Shapiro
It is winter in California, and outside
Is like the interior of a florist shop:
A chilled and moisture-laden crop
Of pink camellias lines the path; and what
Rare roses for a banquet or a bride,
So multitudinous that they seem a glut!
A line of snails crosses the golf-green lawn
From the rosebushes to the ivy bed;
An arsenic compound is distributed
For them. The gardener will rake up the shells
And leave in a corner of the patio
The little mound of empty shells, like skulls.
By noon the fog is burnt off by the sun
And the world's immensest sky opens a page
For the exercise of a future age;
Now jet planes draw straight lines, parabolas,
And x's, which the wind, before they're done,
Erases leisurely or pulls to fuzz.
It is winter in the valley of the vine.
The vineyards crucified on stakes suggest
War cemeteries, but the fruit is pressed,
The redwood vats are brimming in the shed,
And on the sidings stand tank cars of wine,
For which bright juice a billion grapes have bled.
And skiers from the snow line driving home
Descend through almond orchards, olive farms.
Fig tree and palm tree - everything that warms
The imagination of the wintertime.
If the walls were older one would think of Rome:
If the land were stonier one would think of Spain.
But this land grows the oldest living things,
Trees that were young when Pharoahs ruled the world,
Trees whose new leaves are only just unfurled.
Beautiful they are not; they oppress the heart
With gigantism and with immortal wings;
And yet one feels the sumptuousness of this dirt.
It is raining in California, a straight rain
Cleaning the heavy oranges on the bough,
Filling the gardens till the gardens flow,
Shining the olives, tiling the gleaming tile,
Waxing the dark camellia leaves more green,
Flooding the daylong valleys like the Nile.0 -
Love the quilt RobinLK
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Checking in. I'm interested in the SoCal get together. Keep me posted!
I've been busy with the boys. My 16 year old was driving my DH's car last Thursday night. He swerved to avoid a dog, over corrected, lost control of the car and ended up in a canal. The boy had to crawl out through the back window. Our son is okay, the car is not.
I have painful lumps under my arm on the bad girl side. I also have painful thickening in my breasted on that side. Hope it's just scar tissue.0 -
Poppy Re: SoCal Crazies. PM Octo or Beppy. I'll see you there.
Oh the fun of teenagers and driving. Happy he's OK, sorry about car.
Hope your lumps and thickening turn out to be just scar tissue. Jan
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Poppy......thank God he is ok...............It's those unexpected decisions they have to make that scares the hell out of us..............starting and stopping.......staying between the lines........all easy...........it's those things you can't teach them that you worry about........just glad he go out of the car......phew.....
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Poppy, how scary! Thank God he is all right. Young drivers always worry me. I hope it's just scar tissue, too - do you have an appointment coming up to have it checked out?
Robin, that quilt square is about how I'm feeling these days! Yay for good followups! I hope your sinus/ear/strep infection is clearing up.
Octo, I forgot you live in small town. I think of California as being this super populated state where there are lots of doctor options, and forget you live in California's equivalent of Macomb, Illinois. If you are getting into the every-three-months follow up visits, it might be doable to pick someone who is a couple hours away, though. I've been thinking about moving my care to our state University, which is an hour away from me. Inconvenient for active treatment, but for long term followup, it would work.
Ducky, what's the latest on your granddaughter? Is she starting to feel better? Congrats on the five years!
Lucy, I love the chickens. They are so cute and chickens can be so entertaining. One of my online gardening friends used to raise chickens for eggs, and the kids used to carry them around and pet them. I was disappointed when she gave away the chickens. I guess they kept escaping from their pen and scratching up the gardens.
I've been doing laps around CrazyTown this evening. My back got a little sore after sitting in a chair all day long, not even enough to bother to take anything for it, but despite my clear xray two weeks ago, my head goes to bad places. That's why it's CrazyTown, right?
Hi to JAN, Jerseygirl, Molly, and all the quiet crazies. Hugs to everyone who needs one tonight.
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PoppyK, thank God he's okay. I so clearly remember that fear and worry about 16 year old drivers. Sorry about the car though. I hope the thickening is nothing, I know your mind must go to scary places. Cubbie, sorry about your back. I am sitting in a quiet corner tonight. I have been so emotional and easy to tears the last few days. My kids were joking that I must be pregnant. Quite a feat that would be without the equipment! Anyway, I need some quiet reflective time. Hugs!!
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Cubbie...your post about Macomb cracked me up! Yes, California is big enough to have some remarkably rural areas. And medically underserved areas. Our area has been referred to many times as the Appalachia of the west coast. Anyway, I had to Google Macomb as I confess I've never heard of it (though I'd love to visit you there when I take my cross country trip...will you be around in September of 2017? :-)) So yeah, we are something like that. Although actually, even my current MO is an hour's drive away from me...If I had a University teaching hospital only an hour away I'd definitely consider it. Hope your back feels better soon and stops giving you the Crazies!
Poppy: so glad your DS is ok! One of the blessings of my life is that my son didn't want to drive until he was well over 18...so no worries about that when he was that young. My daughter, OTOH...sigh. She managed to total her Dad's car on the San Francisco Bay Bridge, but fortunately didn't go in the water! As for the SoCal get together, the date is set for morning of March 26th....if you pm me with your email I can send you more details soon, when we decide on a location. Really hope you can make it.
Loved the poem, thanks Jan.
Molly, hope the time in the quiet part of the porch helps.
I had a lovely day off in the 'big city' yesterday: Lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant (there is no such thing in my town, or nothing worthy of claiming to be Chinese anyway), hit REI for clearance sales and got a new jacket, hit Macy's for the President's Day sale and got some lovely amethyst earrings to go with my new short hair style, and went to see a movie which never made it to my small town: Brooklyn. Lovely and life affirming. Rain and Gaia, wondering if you've seen it?
And another work week begins. Sigh. Good and bad to that. I can see from checking my email that things will be heating up around the office, as if it wasn't busy enough.
Hope all have a good week!
Octogirl
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Robin
Thank you for everything I had my surgery and still trying to heal. still in pain. Talk o my oncologist and i start Chemo March 10th.
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hi all, sounds like all,have been having about the usual or at least for us....aches and traumas
Back was way crankie, just when i, thought it was cool but gonna blame all on the dang weather , changed 50 degrees in less than 24 hours so blaming my headache on the weather
Ducky, hope the family is doing better
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http://www.chicago-bureau.org/american-cancer-soci...
The above isa little off-season pinktober work that was oh blushed today. There's a good picture of Jack and I at Cape Blanco.
Butterfly- we are with you and you embark on this next step of treatment. Hugs.
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Awww Katy, great picture of you and Jack and wonderful article. Great job!!
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Excellent, Katy! Congrats!
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Katy, So glad your story is still getting out there. Do you see any positive change since you first wrote about this? Beautiful portrait of you and Jack. That's the image I'll have of you until we meet in person.
Did anyone feel the California earthquake this afternoon? We are 60 miles from epicenter and knew right away it was a quake. It was just a boom, rumble, rumble. Done. There have been quite a few small quakes around the area in the last few days. I'm a native Californian, so I prefer a little shaking to all the frigid weather some of you are coping with right now.
Ducky, How is your DGD doing? And how are you? Any Bobby time lately?
Beppy, You OK?
I have to get up at 4 AM tomorrow to get to UCLA eye appointment at 9. DH hates hotels, would rather make one horrible long day. Ugh.
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Jan, I didn't feel anything. I am a native, too! Ducky, I am hoping your DGD is doing better. Slow, I hope you are feeling OK. (((crazies)))
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Hi Crazies, I'm so behind. I just read a little and will log on tonight and write my book. hahaha
DH has been sick and I've been taking care of him for a change.
Be back later!! Love to all...quiet crazies too!!
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My son's GF (hopefully my future DIL) had childhood cancer. I was telling her about CT and she said "oh yeah, I go there every day". Nice to have someone who gets it.
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Octo, my nephew went to the University of Illinois at Macomb. It would basically be just a farm town if the state hadn't built a university there to serve the southeast corner of the state. I don't think they'd even have a Walmart if they didn't have all those college kids.
Katy, congrats on the article. That's a great picture of you and Jack.
Jan, that is way too early to get up. I hope you eye appointment goes well.
Molly, that's interesting that Crazytown is such a universal experience. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but all the cancer survivors I've met have always seemed so...calm. Especially compared to me! I should have suspected there was much more going on under the surface.
Beppy, I hope things are going well for you. And I hope DH feels better soon.
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Good Evening Crazies!!
Rainy, That story about your hair freezing cracked me up. My niece and nephew live a few doors down from me. One day I was returning a bunch of their dishes from food my niece had made for me. It was very windy outside. I noticed these weird particles flying through the air. It didn't take me long to realize it was my hair. hahaha My hair had started falling out at that point. Nice to know there is a part of me all throughout the hood. haha How is the college searching going??? It's mighty nice here in So Cal - hint, hint. You must be so proud of your son's accomplishments. Those cookies look scrumptious!!
Octo, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your friend. That's an interesting realization about our MO's. I once asked my MO how he did it every day. He said, "It's not easy." I think they have more pressure on them than we realize. I don't think that excuses them for taking it out on us though. We all deserve to be treated well. If you end up picking a MO here in So Cal, we have a perfect reason to get together more often!! If you want to share your birthday date with us, we can have a big party!!
Katy, Thank you for letting us know about Sula. I thought she was a bit too quiet!! When I don't see food porn, I worry. GREAT article. I'm so glad you shared it here!! I LOVED the picture of you and Jack.
Sula, My goodness!! Sending healing vibes your way!! We need to wrap you in bubble wrap. Oh wait!! How about this???
You're a comedy writer so I thought a bit of humor was in order. I've noticed I'm very unbalanced after treatment. Maybe that's another SE??? Most likely lack of use in my case. I think I need some of that bubble wrap too. Thank you so much for thinking of me when you're in so much pain. Feel better soon....we will keep your seat warm and your kitchen clean. The gentlest of hugs to you!!
QM, OUCH!! That must have really hurt. Those rakes are hazardous!!
Iris, I hope you're staying warm!!
Ducky, Happy Beastfree Anniversary!!! What a great milestone. You give me much hope for my own future. Thanks for sharing that with us. We love you!! I'm so glad you DGD is home! I hope things continue to improve for her.
Lucy, Hi again!! haha I love your girls!! Chickens are so cool. I most definitely want some of those fresh eggs through the tube!!! I guess I feel like the top part of my hair grew slowly, but looking at the picture, I realize it has a greater distance to go than the bottom!! I'm a little slow at times. haha
Robin, I'm glad your MO appointment went well! Pus pockets sound so uncomfortable!! Gentle hugs to you!! I love the idea of a quilting nook in CT!!
Molly, I agree. I don't think we ever forget the day we are diagnosed. I remember the doctors lips moving, but I can't recall what was said. It is all a big blur. Extra hugs for you today. My emotions were heightened during and after rads. It does get better!!
JAN, What a beautiful poem!! Thank you for sharing it with us all. I didn't feel the earthquake. When I lived in the OC, I felt them all. Not so much living here. Maybe because we are up against a mountain? That sounds like a very long day tomorrow. Safe travels to you and your DH!! Hope all goes well at your appointment.
Poppy, Crap!! I'm so glad your son is doing ok. I bet that really shook him up. I'm sorry about your car. That is VERY scary. It's so nerve-racking when they drive. Both of my children have been in pretty serious accidents. The pictures are cringe worthy. They were so fortunate to walk away uninjured. When my DD was first learning to drive, we were coming out of Sam's Club and she turned into oncoming traffic. She thought both lanes were for us. Needless to say, that was the last time I drove with her. My DH took care of the teaching. As you know, I hate driving with anyone when I'm not the driver. I don't know what I was thinking. Are you going to get your painful lumps and thickening checked?? Let me know if you want company.
Hi Tomboy!!
Cubbie, YES! That is why were are all here. It's sad when we have to worry if an achy back is more sinister. Gentle hugs to you!! When Tomboy and I started this thread, we really didn't realize how many people felt the same way. I don't think it was really talked about too much. It gave me great comfort knowing I wasn't alone and it's helped me to be less crazy.
Butterfly, We will all be in your pocket through your chemo treatments. Wishing you speedy healing!! We have many comfortable corners to hide in when you're not feeling well. Plus we send yummy treats through the tubes.
I think I'm all caught up now. I've missed you all the past few days. Unfortunately, I think I'm getting my DH's illness. I was really hoping it would skip right over me!! Oh well....such is life. Hopefully I won't get it as bad as him. I'll try to see my PCP tomorrow. No results from my scan yet.
Sleep well beautiful ladies. Thank you for being a constant source of comfort and support. I'm not sure what I'd do without all of you!!
Love to all....quiet crazies too!!!
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Thanks ladies. It was our older car that was in the accident. We still haven't heard from the collision /body shop about the extent of the damage. Our son says his body aches a little, but he's otherwise okay ....and we started him driving the next day do he would get over his fear.
The lumps under my arm are gone. I'm wondering if they were caused by my bra because they disappeared when I switched to a different style. Could it have something to do with lymph drainage?0 -
My GRANDAUGHTER is going back to school today..........just hoping she does ok......she will need several insulin injections throughout the day....before lunch, snacks, etc...she will have to check her blood sugar, and inject herself before whatever she eats.........not easy for a 15 year old but she can do it.....before she left the hospital she had to show the Dr. that she could "do it all".......
My son had told me before she left they did one more blood test because they didn't like the result of the one they had done in the morning.........they did the test, and let her go......he got a call yesterday to tell him the test came back "fine" they suspected "Leukemia" her white cell count was so low...........Thank God is was not that.....and apparently thought it was from the virus she contacted while in there.......right now "all is well".....thanks for caring.....0 -
thanks so much for the update ducky and glad she is doing better and that all is indeed well!
Octogirl
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Hi Crazies!
I've been MIA, just hanging out on the edge of CT.... I have been in a funk and didn't want to bring you all with me... but I could use some support, so here I am.... My DS is sick with flu, spiked 103.5 temp and we finally got that to break. He's still congested and slight fever, but doing better. Both kids are scheduled to go to a big youth rally this week, but its looking like DS will miss it this year, and that's going to break his heart. My hubby has had a headache for 5 days. He RARELY get headaches, so this worries me. He even came home early from work yesterday and fell right to sleep. In the midst of this, I'm trying not to get sick... We all know how that goes. I've got some congestion and stuffy head, but going to bed early, laying around and the like, is helping. My doc and nurse friends are ll telling me, steer clear, keep distance, you can't get sick! I feel like I can't effectively mother my family right now, and that hurts. On top of this, my rads for today was cancelled again. Huge storms caused power outages and the machines were still down this morning. I have my ECHO and bloodwork for Herceptin tomorrow morning, then I have rads, Herceptin infusion, and see my MO on Monday. Not looking forward to that meeting. I don't want to take Tamoxifen, and she's not going to be happy. She really bullied me at our last meeting, and it unsettled me...all that to say, I'm worn out... or, as my Pop used to say, I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet." What's happened to me? I used to be the strong capable one! Now I feel like a wet dishrag! I know this will pass, I just hate it all this week...
I read your posts everyday, and adore you all... You bring such light into my days. I'm thankful for all of the support.... Sorry to be such a downer, just needed to get that out to people who understand.
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ducky, thank you for the update on your DGD. My DD is an LVN and she's a one to one nurse at school for an 11 year old boy with diabetes. She has to check his blood before and after every meal. I suspect that the biggest challenge for your girl will be the fact that teenagers don't like to be different. Jersey, sorry about all the illness in your house and your worries about your DH. I can't remember what your concern about starting tamoxifen is?
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Katy...loved the article and it was very informative. I use Pantene shampoo and conditioner...NO MORE!!! Loved seeing Jack...and sending love and hugs to you girlfriend.
JerseyGirl...we all get it and understand. I used to be the strong one...now I am so fragile...cry at the dumbest stuff...and think the worse with every ache.
Hi to all my other friends...I just could not stay away too long.
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Jersey- sending you a warm hug. I am so glad you reach out when you need support. It is all to easy to blame, judge and shame ourselves. Then isolate. I know because I do that. You are doing an amazing job handling not only yourself but still being there for your family. Try not to compare yourself to others or your pre dx person. You are you. Today. Much love coming your way.
Shorfi. Welcome back! So nice to see you here!
Ducky- very glad and relieved your GDs going back to school! That is very impressive they hit that turned around so quickly. I know it will be challenging for her, but I know with her gramma's blood running through her veins, she will do it bravely and with style!
Sending hugs to Cubby, Sula, Octo, Rainy, Molly, Beppy, Tomboy, Jan, Poppy, Robin, Butterfly, Rose, and all the Crazies I'm missing, but not on purpose! The porch is crowded this morning!
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Hello all -
I've been following along at home, not posting much. The flip side of crazy is the dark side, and I'm afraid I've been stuck there a lot lately. Now that active treatment is done, I've been feeling like a dark thing is following me around. No matter what I do, it's there. I cook dinner. I take my arimidex. I go to yoga. I took a quilting class - to ready myself for the CT quilting corner, perhaps? I'm getting ready to go back to work. But I just feel the dark thing - no matter what. Oh, and the crying - me too!
Ducky - I'm so glad to hear your DGD is doing well.
Sending hugs to all of you. This group is a lifeline for me.
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pennsygal: I wouldn't be surprised if the Dark Thing was related to CrazyTown.
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Katy! I am so damn proud of you for that! You have really caught their attention! The thing that worries me, is there are so much xeroestrogens (I am not sure that is the right spelling) in the sick environment of the world we live in, naturally too, like even in the very dirt, that it's a good thing really to try and cut it out of our lives as much as possible. One of the books I read, I will try to get the name and author of it to you soon, talked about how women breast were uniquely made as to be able to pick up those x's from the environment, almost plucking them out of the air. I think the book is called something like "a natural history of the breasts" and I believe it was written by a woman doctor. It was a fascinating book, anyway. I will look for you when I get back from my lymphedema appointment, yay! He is a new one, I have seen him 5 times now. He is from Kenya, and has a very melodic voice, while he is telling me stories from his life there, and with his wife and kids here, he is just a gentle soul.
Shorfi, hi. I am glad you are back here! I hope you are feeling less pain. I wanted to tell you, that the last time I saw my pain doc, he prescribed Meloxicam. I was so willing to make the pain go away, i didn't even research its shortcomings! I am happy to report that I can now walk on my feet! Without the crippling pain! I ran it by Beppy, and she said it was a very effective Rheumatoid Arthritis drug! I think it might be pretty harsh on your stomach, but the degree of relief it affords, I am so happy to stand and walk easily now.
Hi Octo! And rainnyc! And gentle hug to Sula, i am so sorry to hear about your two falls, yikes! Hello miz Robinlk, and Ducky!
And ALL!
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