CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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This waiting on surgery isn't fun. I wish it were done tomorrow. One recommendation I have seen somewhere here is to go back to your regular routine of things. So today and Tuesday I volunteered at the VA. I feed one guy; he was not eating Tuesday. I was thinking ut'oh, but today he ate well. Between meals I play dominoes with another. The guy who provides transportation for me was in a very bad auto accident when he was young, limped badly on a messed up right leg for 12 years, then decided to get rid of it. He knows the painful relief of getting rid of an un-cooperative body part. We are in the very early stages of a relationship that might go places.
I keep worrying about waking up and discovering that my diagnosis had been seriously upgraded, and every sensation of both armpits and both breasts MUST have significance. My doctor has increased the dosage of my beta-blocker. I have also been anxious about recovering while living alone, but will discuss this with a friend tomorrow. I know that my male friend will also be available to help. And I will be talking with another friend (a survivor) next week.
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McBaker: (gently) I do not claim to have the list originator's gifts in this regard but yes, you are not alone in thinking that the waiting is the worst. Waiting for test results. Waiting for surgery results. Waiting for this. Waiting for that.
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mcbaker- You are not alone. Waiting sucks. I channeled my energy into running and cleaning during my waiting for test results. Running I enjoyed. My usually messy office became a well organized space. Of course it didnt last.
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Lists of things to do. Fill my freezer with home-cooked MRE's. Clean house, Quilt. Get some books to read; preferably better than the ones I have been reading lately-- maybe ask head librarian for some recommendations. Stay busy. Get some spray-paint for a crafts project I have been contemplating for months. Keep the kitchen sink empty of dishes that need to be washed.
I know that I shouldn't be sitting around stewing about my worries, but somehow I still do it.
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well home from port placement, all went smoothly, little tired so good day to cruise in lounger, hoping this will be easier on my veins
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Iris, glad the port procedure went well.
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Iris ..glad it went well . !!!
MCBaker ..good idea to have lots of meals in the freezer ...the more the better ..hope you can get hold of some good books ..!
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Rest up, Iris--you earned it. McBaker, the waiting is the hardest part (I stole that from the late Tom Petty).
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Yes, I found two books Dewey 305 and a Thomas Friedman 307 http://bpeck.com/references/DDC/ddc_mine300.htm Read all 275 pages of one today. I have trouble understanding economics, but no trouble understanding Friedman.
Talked with a friend today very briefly-- she again assured me she would be back in WI by the 16th.
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well was back at center for my first i fuxion using the port. Went smoothly i think. Hope i sleep better tonight
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Sweet Dreams Iris 💤😴
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thanks lucy, slept very well last night, not sure if i am allowed to shower so opting to pass as they will call to check on me on monday. Figure not active enough to stink much!
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uris- I'm glad to hear you got a good night sleep.
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they changed the dressing and that made things easier, the initial was sort of loose
But way tired today, tummy fine when i do not eat or eat ice cream!
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Iris, good idea to have a supply of Tegaderm dressings on hand to protect the port when showering, until you get the go-ahead not to cover it.
Tired today too--had to go to rehearsal yesterday, because I didn't dare miss another one. Had a tickle-throat episode while practicing a scene off in another room. Hate those--no way to resist the tickle (sometimes it comes out of the blue, without a postnasal drip or saliva trickle), and the coughing causes my larynx to spasm--can barely talk and can't sing again for at least another minute. Happened during services Friday night. I'd attribute it to one of my many meds, except I've been having them ever since my early 30s. My voice teacher & ENT are stumped, and just say to hydrate more. Meanwhile, my cold seems to have moved southward to my innards. Ugh.
Tom Friedman is a genius when it comes to making macroeconomics, and the sociopolitical factors influencing & resulting from it, easy to understand. And his books are often entertaining reads.
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rest up Iris.. and you too Sandy!
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yeap, rest day for me, gym not likely today. Just spent time on phone trying to find the right numbet to call regarding a jury duty notice. Not figuring i would be good for that. After persistznce found someone to give me fax number for my onc to send an excuse.
On well, rainy day on the east coast
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iris, I am so glad you got a port! hello everyone and welcome to the newbies. Sorry for being MIA. I will just sit here quietly and drink some tea.
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Hello, I am very new to this whole thing but feeling like a resident of crazy town. I am just waiting on preliminary tests, really, MRI, genetics, receptors and such but the brain is definitely going to crazy town tonight...lots of thoughts of impending doom. Tonight is probably the first night since the day of my dx mammo when I first heard “I'd be shocked if it wasn't cancer" that I've really been down. My chest (tight feeling like I can't breathe) and back on the side of the cancer have been hurting and so of course I'm picturing cancer cells heading to those body parts. It's been one week since my dx mammo...it truly feels like a lifetime.
Thanks for letting me post here. I'm actually a pretty witty person on most days, so hopefully I'll have some humor to share at some point. Right now I'm totally on the dark side
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Wigging ..Welcome ..pull up a chair and join us..What you are feeling is perfectly normal ..You are at the very worst of the whole ordeal at the moment..Once you have all the facts , and a treatment plan in place , you will feel SO much better ...Hugs
((Molly ))..So good to hear from you ..I think of you so often ..
Iris ..enjoy your rainy day to rest !
Octo ..How's your new job , house etc going ?
Hugs to all xx
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The time between initial diagnosis and prognostic markers (receptors, HER2, Nottingham score--which is a bit more detailed than the grade it determines) is the scariest time, especially if you don't have a surgery date & plan yet. You said "genetics"--are you being tested for the genetic mutations (BRCA 1 & 2, CHEK2, PALB2)? I wasn't originally--but after surgery my oncologist asked me my ethnicity (Ashkenazi Jewish) and immediately sent me for genetic counseling & testing. I tested negative for all known mutations. The next scariest intervals are when you're awaiting final surgical pathology, and genomic (OncotypeDX, Mammaprint or Prosigna) testing if your pathology puts you in the "gray area" for chemo vs. no chemo.
Once you know what you're dealing with, you'll feel calmer and switch from "panic" (where you are now) to "action" mode. I had my dx mammo & ultrasound a week after my routine screening mammo; I couldn't have my biopsy then & there because my radiologist insisted I be off certain meds (aspirin, fish oil) for 5 days first--and that'd have put me in the middle of a prepaid nonrefundable educational & performing trip to New Orleans & Scranton, to which I'd committed (the gig in PA was with my singing partner). So my biopsy was 12 days after my ultrasound! (Way to ruin a trip)! Mercifully, I got my dx the day after my biopsy, and it included the prognostic markers.
The tightness in your chest is symptomatic of a classic panic attack...NOT from metastasis! In the meantime, indulge in whatever makes you feel better.
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thank you ChiSandy and Lucy. I definitely needed the perspective that this part of the process really is difficult. I so very badly want a plan! I'm a planner, a worrier, and have depression/anxiety so I'm a giant cocktail of mess right now.
I am having the BRCA, etc testing...blood was drawn last week. My sister had BC at about age 60, and my dad had colon cancer and bladder cancer.
I'm going to read up on this thread and get to know all the stories, I am already inspired by you. Thank you for the welcome!
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It sounds counterintuitive, but becoming informed can be calming. Not via Google--there's no filter there--but both here and by reading some of the most definitive books on breast cancer (physically or via e-book download) such as those by Dr. Susan Love, Dr. Elisa Port and the Mayo Clinic, as well as the breast cancer-specific version in the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series, "Just Get Me Through This," and (one I just discovered and will order for delivery) "F*ck Cancer: A Swear Word Adult Coloring Book For Cancer Patients & Survivors."
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wigging- when I was first diagnosed waiting with the worst part. My mind went everywhere. Every breath I took I thought a cancer cell was moving to a new area. It was a very anxiety-ridden time. I made a horrible mistake and resorted to dr. Google. The ladies on this thread we're kind enough to tell me nicely stop researching until you have more information. Once you have a plan in place the panic diminishes significantly. I can tell you to try not to wig out but the reality is it's a tough time. Uncertainty is not our friend. With more information you'll be able to make the decisions that are right for you. Hang in there.
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Sandy, I NEED that coloring book. I am going to have to find it.
Wigging, welcome to Crazy Town. We come and go here, but it’s a great space.
I have my orthopedic podiatry appointment on the 14th. My feet still hurt, tho not quite as bad. Hopefully there’s nothing stupid going on. I have to stand a ton at work. And I don’t do sitting for long periods of time. I can’t do it.
Upped my antidepressant dose. Not sure how I feel about that, but it does seem to be helping so I guess it’s good. For now. I don’t want that to be a long term thing.
Best news of the week is that Election Day is tomorrow and that means the end of all the political ads. I’m over them! Gonna go vote in the morning before work. Then I’m going to enjoy some Netflix when I get home and not worry about voting results. I’ll check before bed lol.
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Yes ..the colouring book sounds excellent !!!...I might put it on my wish-list for Santa 🎅
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Election day is passed, now how to get all the signs taken down?
Living through my new port thingie, much easier on my arm and the cream sandy suggested, definitely helping the bruising, i may some day have decent looking arms
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iris-glad you are feeling better with the port.
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iris, I am glad you are doing better. Wigging, welcome. I hope you get good news. Hey there. I was having such a hard time with what I thought were recurring yeast infections. Turns out it was severe atrophy. I could barely walk for the pain and sex... Eeek! My gyn prescribed Imvexxy which is 10mcg vaginal estrogen in tiny little pills you insert. My MO had already told me if I must use estrogen he wouldn't say no. I am already feeling better. I will see how it goes after I get to the maintenance dose. Right now it's daily for 10 days.
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molly- vaginal atrophy is very common post menopause do to decreased estrogen. Often it mimics the symptoms of urinary infection. What are the most common symptoms is severe pain during sexual intercourse. I'm glad you're getting some relief with the estrogen pills. Have a great weekend
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