CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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hello crazies,
How are you all???
Octo,
That sounds like a wonderful weekend in my home town. It sure was a hot weekend though. You guys must have been a bit cooler in the city then we were up here in Sonoma. Meatloaf. Boy haven't had that in a while, sounds like a good idea.
Jack,
That's a great story about the onion and the butter, I'd never heard that one before but boy it really makes sense! That's a whole other world you're describing to me reminiscent of Mad Men. I grew up in a very working class neighborhood that would have been my fantasy!! So glad you had a satisfying talk with your friend. Amazing that she was holding her own secrets. Did she say why she kept what was going on with her from you?
Lucy,
Great poultry penthouse!! Your husband is very handy.I've always wanted to have a few chickens but so far haven't tried it. Do you have to worry about any critters getting at them down there? We used to live in the hills and that always stopped me as we had foxes, skunks, possums, etc and I just figured I'd be putting out a feathered smorgasbord for them.
Gaia,
Looking forward to seeing lamb, and cold weather. I tend to opt for goat over lamb in most of my Indian recipes as it's a bit more traditional in Indian cooking ( goat is more available) I also cook most of my meats slowly in clay which makes the goat ( or lamb) very tender it's a long process however.... But very worth it.
I know I'm losing track of the stuff before as this thread moves fast, so I'm dropping back to catch up
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Katy, She has such an beautiful voice, thought she sounded familiar. Read the bio, voice from the Titanic soundtrack.
Like the others said, she had become fearful of losing her confidant. She does need you and you get to lend your ear. Sounds like the healing has begun. Glad you are able to ask for what you need as well.
Octo, sounds like a wonderful escape. Meatloaf is one of my comfort foods. Best I had was last year on vacation in Bar Harbor at the Blaze. Bacon wrapped, made with beef, pork and lamb cooked in 700 degree wood fired oven. Served with garlic smashed red skin potatoes and sautéed mushrooms.
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the short answer on why she kept secrets appears to be she truly believed she was protecting me. She spent days doing an elaborate time line showing what was happening to me while something really awful was happening to her. In her defense those two years were the saddest, most tragic, and medically serious times of my life. But it was really painful to me and still is, that she didn't give me a chance to be a safety net for her. Or at a minimum, a confidante
She is giving me that chance now. I've been very clear about how this comedy/tragedy of errors in judgement almost cost us a 30 year friendship. But it didn't. I'm very grateful. Nobody has to make up for what happened. Nobody is going to be punished for bad judgement. We are going to move on. Nothing in life ever happens in a vacuum. She doesn't really know how I felt. I didn't know how she felt. We just had to decide today, to be gentle, move forward, and that WE were worth it. I'm quite exhausted though
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Jack,
So glad everything worked out with your friend and you've saved your long friendship. Dealing with all this stuff is so difficult sometimes it's hard to keep friendships healthy. It's great you two were able to start the healing
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Katy, glad that your old friend opened up. I had a similar thing for about 10 years with my sister. She suddenly stopped taking my phone calls even during all my BC junk. It is only now about 15 years later that she was able to tell me what was going on. Her husband was basically a jerk, abusing the 2 boys (emotional but not sure if physically) and she could not talk about it even to me. Now that her divorce is over and she has rebuilt a life, we have been able to get together and rebuilding our friendship. Meanwhile we are both happy that her husband looks like ship and my sister is looking great!
I have a long term pal now that is acting weird and I really think the reason is something in her life not me. Thinking her marriage is having troubles
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Lamb anything and goat curry and bacon wrapped meatloaf! and eggs from pastured hens! Now we are talking my language!
I had dinner with an old friend while I was in the City, and I noticed that she seemed to really want to talk about me, not about what was going on with her, even though she usually is full of updates on her life when I see her and even though honestly I wanted a break from being a bc person and didn't want to talk about my treatments (and said so, at one point). I suspect based on what little she said that she could be worried about career issues and income, as she is self employed. So, sometimes I am guessing if we are going through something hard our friends don't want to "burden" us with their problems also? Still, Katy, I know that it hurt you and I am so glad your BFF finally opened up to you...
The family member I think I mentioned is someone who I am ordinarily very close to: but she is doing everything she can to distance herself from me and to push me away. I swear that she believes that my bc is contagious, or at least she acts that way. That hurts. Haven't had the courage to say anything as yet. So kudos to you Katy for letting BFF know how much she hurt you. You are a very brave woman. Oh, wait, forget I said that. As bouncer, I would kick someone out of CT for using such a platitude! :-)
I have a busy work week but hope to keep up with the crazies. You all rock, and with food as our anchor, we can all have a great week!
Octogirl
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Good Morning My Beautiful Crazies!!
I have so much to catch up on with you all. I will attempt to do that later today.
Littleblueflowers, We are all in your pocket today for your biopsy. Sending all of our collective good thoughts your way!! Please let us know how it goes.
BBL......Love you all!!!0 -
Thank you! Yeesh, just have to make it to 4:15....then make it through the week waiting on the pathology...
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Good luck LBF!!! will be thinking of you all day but especially at 4:15 Montana time!
Octogirl
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Littleblueflowers.. We are all with you. !
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LIttleblue,
thinking of you today!! All of us are with you.
Octo,
the bc is contagious meme is something I'm familiar with, my mo was that way when I was diagnosed the first time in 1990. She wouldn't visit me and didn't want to even talk to me on the phone. If I called her she'd get off the phone super quick. I asked my sister what the problem was and she told me my mom felt it was "cancer calling" and so wanted very little contact with me. Once chemo and she saw I was still alive she came around
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Just a quick note to you Little Blue Flowers! Thinking of you and breathing with you this afternoon.
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LBF- in your pocket today...crumbs all over. And the rest of the week waiting on the path. With you.
Rainny- as you count down the hours to tomorrow please know we are all with you too. Crazytown is a magical place where we can be in more than one place at once. PS I ordered a copy of Lost Ravioli/Hoboken. Can't wait to read it. Thanks for the share.
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Stunning Flowers Jackie birdie!
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Littleblueflowers: with you at the biopsy, and with you in the next crazymaking week!
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Littleblue, thinking of you and hoping for good results.
Katy, thanks. More later...
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Thank you ladies! I love you all so much! Well the surgeon said it looked just like fat necrosis to him, and then he showed me. Ewwwwww! So I feel a lot bettwr. Of course waiting a week for the final path sucks, but he seemed really certain. And he kind of cleaned up the excra skin by my scar too so it looks a lot tighter. I feel all of your strong good energy and send it right back to all of you. Warmest, most thankful sister hugs!
Jen
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Just got online. Happy to hear that you are feeling a tiny bit better after biopsy and talking to the surgeon. I sure know the anxiety waiting for pathology results. But, it sounds like nothing! Praying so! TRY to calm down for the week, hard to do, but really try. Deep breathing, meditation, whatever helps you. Plus knowing that we are all cheering for you!
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Littleblue: huge sigh of relief.
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Evening Crazies
Tonight just a brief check in; will give some more thorough time to you lights tomorrow.
LBF- glad you feel slightly more at ease after your experience with the surgeons impression. Breathing with you as you wait for reports.
Sula- lamb vs goat- yes goat more traditional- I haven't worked with goat. I may need to seek that out. I'm with you on braised / long cooked meats. Tonight I braised a chicken in buttermilk- it was too late to get any yummy pics; maybe a 'remains of the meal 'pic tomorrow
Katy, I am so glad you and your friend were able to crack the window open and let some air in. AND it's so good that you stood in your truth and honored yourself that way. Until we do that for ourselves it is hard to ask others to do so as well. You are a great open inspiration here.
Octo your SF night sounds like perfect self care; again honoring yourself and taking action! And yes it is interesting how dealing with our BC also puts our relationships in new light. It sounds like you had a wonderful time even if the dinner with your friend was awkward.
Rainny Rainny Rainny- thinking of you tonight sweet sister. peace and healing vibes for your body mid and spirit- what time is your surgery tomorrow? rest well and breathe deep.
Sorry to be brief and not encompass more of you lovlies, but I am tired tonight. Had second H infusion, but I know the fatigue is more from the ongoing sharp nerve pain that jolts me, unexpectedly, but frequently. It has really closed down a lot of a sense of freedom the last 3 days. It's been almost intractable. Any way I do have the MRI scheduled on Friday. But I am really praying it's just part of the roaming and, eventually, dissipating series of 'discomforts' I've been experiencing on and off for the last few months. And Yes I did try the pain med- zilch relief- I am sure because it's nerve and not muscle and also it's nit constant it's related to movement. anyway.
I will check in more tomorrow- thinking of all of you.
Warm hugs
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LittleBlueFlowers, awesome! Isn't that weird though? Dead fat in our bodies? Ick. I have some dead fat too, and a lotta live fat too. I'm not sure which one is worse. Dead fat just might be creepier. I keep meaning to say those are some missiles on that girl in your avatar.
Sula, that is a great photo of your mom. At least she told your sister WHY she didn't come near you with your dx. Thats also a great picture of you, too, you have the kind of face that is easy to draw (and so is yours too gaia) , maybe one of these days I will draw you. (after I finish making the painting of Duck's special grand daughter- AND also finish blondie's earrings, and also Jakbirdiekaty's bookmark, oh also I am working on a new and improved crazy town kit of emergency supplies. For when you are looking for cancer in all the wrong places. Hopefully, we can all see it soon.
I have been dawdling, taking my time, almost playing. Too "you know what" for anything else. Thanks for being here guys.
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Gaia: now drooling about goat. Lamb I can get easily enough, especially around Passover/Islamic holidays. (I'm of the Easter subset, though happy to encourage local stores by buying the halal/kashered stuff)
Tomboy: (amused) what might go into a Crazytown emergency kit?
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Good Evening Crazies,
You were all so busy this weekend, it took me a long time to catch up with you all. I'm sure by the time I post this, I'll be behind AGAIN.
eggroll, 30 pounds of tomatoes is A LOT of tomatoes!!Taking time off to celebrate is a great idea....you deserve to celebrate!!The imprint from the bra cracked me up!!! hahahaha This stuff sure does make us paranoid, doesn't it??? That was a total Crazy Town moment!!
Katy, Thank you for the kind words. You always make everyone feel so special. That's a special gift you have!! Crazy Town may have manifested from my minds paranoia, but without Tomboy, I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to start the thread. She encouraged me to be brave!! I'm happy to read that you and your friend worked things out. That is just too long of a friendship not to talk things out. I think many times our friends know we are going through a lot with a BC diagnosis, and don't want to dump their troubles on us. A few of my friends have done the same. For the friends that pull away for no apparent reason....maybe they are suffering from their own form of crazy - cancer seems to bring out varying emotions for everyone. I agree with Ducky....A true friend will come around in time. Your posies look beautiful!! I enjoyed reading about your mom.Thanks for sharing that story. So true about the onion and butter!! To me there is no better aroma than garlic, onion and butter sautéing.
rose, AHA!! I knew my bra caused it all. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I asked my BS if the lumps could have been caused by my bra being too tight. I was grasping at any straw available. Like you, I also LOVE music. I almost always have my iPod with me when I go to a medical appointment. Hope you enjoyed your trip to Sam's!! 5,000 steps - that is GREAT rose!!
M0mmy, We feel the same about you!! Although, I think you're the adopted LITTLE sister if I remember correctly. You may be the youngest in the group.
Chloesmom, I'm so glad you checked in!! It's nice when our lurkers check in once in awhile!! I'm glad you were able to get some scar relief.
octogirl,Happy to hear your pinkish turning breast is feeling better!! Spaghetti and meatballs are my specialty. I try not to eat them too often though. I usually cook the Italian food, and my DH does everything else. I can see I've been doing my pity parties all wrong!! I think I may have to follow your lead next time and get a 4.5 star hotel!! So glad you treated yourself....sounds wonderful!
Italychick, TRUE, TRUE, TRUE about Italians and their food. In our family, if you've ever run out of food, you're talked about for decades to come.
PTS, I've never heard of kohlrabi, but after hearing your description and Rain's, I don't think I want to try it......haha I do agree with you...sometimes when our friends pull away, they can be going through something they are just too embarrassed to talk, or think about - it has nothing to do with us.
gaia, I grew up being tardy. Not the best trait to have. My DH hates being late, so when we got married it was a challenge for me to get out the door on time. Time always seems to slip away too quickly for me. Luckily my family members and friends knew this about me, and they would always tell me to come earlier than everyone else which would make me on time!! Love the lobster picture!!! (sometimes I have had the thought that BC came to my door to help me shed so many 'rules' sigh....) - I love that gaia. It certainly has a way of putting much into perspective.
Ducky, That pan seared cod sounded so good. I have no clue what a Kirby is though????
Lucy, I still have to take the picture of sick bear. I had a crazy busy weekend and didn't get a chance yet. WOW....what a great job your DH did on the poultry penthouse!! Those are some fine looking chooks!!
sunshine, I wondered the same thing about the chickens!! hahaha I got a delightful mental picture of Lucy running all over the yard collecting her chooks!! hahahahahahaha
Rain, I agree!! Gabe would make a wonderful comfort object for CT!!! My favorite cookbook is The Joy of Cooking. It was my moms and it is in pieces because my mom wasn't one to take care of her books. When I take a picture of sick bear, I will take one of my mom's cookbook. It always makes me smile just to look at it. My DH gets all of his recipes from the internet or the Food Network shows. I also have roots in PA. My dad was born in Pillow, PA and spent most of his adolescent years in Elizabethville, PA.We visited many times a year, and I always enjoyed the PA Dutch food!! I don't like Shoefly pie, but I do have my grandmother's recipe. One of my favorites when we visited was ring bologna. My dad loved when my grandmother made pickled hard boiled beet eggs. I never cared for them as a child.
Poppy, Such a thoughtful gift from your MIL!! I bet you're DH was appreciative too!!
Littleblueflowers, You will get through this waiting period. The crazies will see you through!!
Sula, How did your dinner go?? Were you able to get any of your questions answered from your visitor?? I love all the food pictures you share. It inspires me to try new things.
Tomboy, Nice to see you poke your head out!! We missed you.
While texting back and forth with a VERY special friend, I came to the conclusion this weekend that I must do something about my range of motion problems. I have two frozen wrists and I'm afraid my knees are heading down the same path. I spend a considerable amount of time in a wheel chair when I go shopping with my husband or DD, and this must stop!!! So, I've been busy trying to put together a movement plan that I can tolerate. I keep putting off this next step until the next scan, or the next test, or the next doctor visit - not really sure what I'm waiting to hear. In the meantime, I'm losing more and more balance and mobility. You all inspire me daily with your wonderful food ideas and the love and true caring you have for each other. You're all such amazing women and I feel honored you all post here.
On a funny note.....my DH and I were watching the news tonight. I don't watch it too often, but occasionally a story will catch my eye. My DH doesn't hear too well. He won't admit it, but he does have to watch the TV with closed caption ON. The story was about an erratic driver on the freeway. Well, the closed caption said erotic driver. My mind wandered wondering what an EROTIC driver would look like??? hahahahahahahahaha
Hope you all have a peaceful, pain free night. Love to all!!
Edited for typos and incorrect birth place for my dad. Duh.
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I was exhausted after yesterday's trauma, though resolved, I was spent. Then they showed up today to start re-roofing my house. What a racket. I hid all day in my bedroom with a fan turned up high and all the windows closed with an ice pack due to crap flying everywhere and unbelievable, constant, NOISE. Jack and Tutti were traumatized as well. Tomorrow will be a lighter day and if it's cool enough I'll take Jack with me on some errands. I will keep my eyes peeled for erotic drivers, haha
I spent the day evaluating, classifying and crazyfying an ongoing pain in my left stomach/rib area. Not super painful, but there always and more than two weeks. Oy. Rib cancer.
To distract myself I watched a couple of things on my iPad. Somebody was asking for recommendations recently, (Rainny?) and I found a very good two part (about 4 hours total) miniseries type thing. British produced, with John Hanna (4 weddings and a funeral, sliding doors- lovely thick accent you could eat with a spoon), Brendan Coyle of Downton Abbey and Jemma Redgrave. Excellent psychological thriller. Title is Amnesia. Highly recommend it if you are suffering a roof job or recovering from surgery. Since its not a million episodes, you can eat it in a couple of bites with short attention span syndrome. I found it on Amazon. It was free with Prime.
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I've gained 50 pounds since treatment started. I forgot to tell you all about my new diet program!!
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Katy, That was so weird. When I posted, your post wasn't there. I'm starting to believe when they do our surgeries they do something to our ribs. I can't tell you how many posts I've read about rib pain. I've also had rib pain. I still have it on and off. I mentioned it to my BS about a year ago and she didn't seem concerned. I would mention it to your MO on your next visit if it doesn't go away. Always better to err on the side of caution. I think you may need some full sized headphones to drown out the noise of the workers!! Too bad they aren't erotic workers....may make it more interesting!! haha
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Slow- I think your right about me being the youngest. Ugh, I just realized my birthday is now only two months away
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Slow........a Kirby is a very tiny cucumber minimal seeds, and so crispy they actual crunch when you bite them........delish...............Kathy OMG I forgot about that picture.....I will post it so the girls who don't know Isabella can see her......she is now 4 years old, and started pre-K, along with Grayson this past Friday............shocked you remembered her, and the picture...........
Flowers...hope the rest of your news is good.
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wow, lots going on and as usual, the memory of all my answers is sort of sick so will post what the brain remembers!
I have a rib pain, even had it xrayed as I thought I broke something, not. also MO was not concerned and I sort of diagnosed it as scar tissue from all the lumpies, biopsies and rads. It has not bothered me in some time, guess the back issues trumps the side thing?
wow on how many of us are from PA! I love the shoe fly pie, may have to make it one day soon although, not sure I need the calories
today is a physical therapy day, have been trying to figure out how much I have left of my insurance and medicare is so confusing that I am just going to wing it~~
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Good Morning Crazies,
Gaia, Thinking of you. Hope all goes well with your Herceptin infusion.
Rain, Good thoughts going in your direction. I hope you feel us all there with you!! Wishing you a quick recovery and speedy healing.
Queen, Isn't this your last week of zapping?????
Ducky, I use that kind of cucumber in my salad but I've never heard it called a Kirby. Isabella is getting so big....I can't believe the twins are 4 already. She is so pretty!!!
Lucy, Hmm..Yes we do have to be actresses occasionally .. I know I've "faked it " a couple of times 😃😱😄
hahahahahahahahahahahaha!! I can't believe I missed that earlier. Too funny!!I woke up this morning with left eye cancer. I didn't realize that I had rolled over on to the TV remote. I had the button impressions carved into my cheek/eye area.I was sleeping so soundly this morning, I didn't even feel it until I woke up. Remotitis.
Wishing you all a peaceful, pain free day with lots of love and kindness.
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