Uplifting and Lively Messages. No holds barred..
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Michelle,have you tried melatonin? It helps ne sometimes.
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I have not wanted to introduce a new medication/herb/ supplement to my regime. I am trying to find other ways to change my sleeping time. I have every confidence that my body will adjust to whatever the radiation did to my cells and allow me to sleep. Other than that, I have a rosary close at hand!!
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I got to do my ski yesterday which was just glorious. The snow squeaked underneath, but just perfect. It was so, so fun if a bit on the "brisk" side. As in you needed to keep moving.
The new long johns proved to be just fab...super comfy and I feel sexy underneath. Plus, I am looking extra-sculpted from the skiing which takes strength. Not down weight-wise yet, but that could because I have been cooking up a storm (see below).
Today was a finish the website day which I did. This meant I timed my run for just when the sleet started. Still gorgeous and I stayed toasty because my core didn't get wet. Just vacuumed up the mud off the off white carpet.
I sleep just fine most of the time. I have to say that yesterday I was ready for an early night after skiing 10+ miles.
Right now, I am cooking my elk ragu Bolognese. I have adapted a recipe, and had elk meet in the freezer that I needed to use. Plus some cheese I got for Christmas to go on top. The scent is divine.
Just love the jewelry, Michelle!!!! Really, really special. - Claire
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Claire (LJ) in Seatle, I am so jealous of your cooking skills. I boiled eggs today. Woohoo........ Everyone is talented in their own ways and I appreciate all the different areas where women excel!!!
*LJ = long johns.... your new nickname... LJ.....
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I also excel at eating my own cooking so why I am off wine and onto healthy (well, ALMOST healthy) fare for the month of January. I can say that herbal tea isn't at all the same as a nice glass of wine. I did a "vital few" approach to this, and identified the highest payback areas as wine and lunches. Bean soup is a lot healthier than a deli sandwich or even deli soup.
Not in my silk LJs now, but in my silk La Perla bra and cashmere. Plus the uber-warm Jil Sander stretch pants I picked up in August on eBay for $9.99.
Looking quite buff from the skiing. Hoping to get 2 days in this coming weekend.
Also thinking about getting out to the Methow Valley in early February for a spot of skiing. I like the part about being able to eat......almost anything!!! I stay at a place that does amazing breakfasts. This will be my birthday present to myself. If I snag enough consulting work, I may add skis to my self-gift.
Need to crawl into my bed....... Wonder if I will have more dreams of skiing. Best times ever!!! - Claire
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it's great that you are a survivor and doing so well . Love to hear stories of successful tx like yours.
👍😍🌈
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LJ and Elem, it is really great to hear of life after bc. I am glad LJ is here to lift us up!! What is your story, Elem?
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Got approved for Zoladex and then got a call from my obgyn that I could have a hysterectomy and oopherectomy on Jan 24th. So no shot of Zoladex for me. I was only going to get shots for 3 months. At my age, having a cycle every 28 days, and having the ovaries of a 40 year old, meant that I would need to be on shots for more than three months. It may be a bit extreme, but getting diagnosed with 95 percent estrogen receptive and 85 percent progesterone receptive breast cancer, leads me to this decision. Aterwards, I am going with an AI, and if that does not work, I can try Tamoxifen without fear of uterine cancer. It is a sad day when you have to play chess with your body and make life altering decisions to prevent future health care crisis.
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I got a little nervous today, with everything seeming to speed up. A call from my MO's nurse was very reassuring that I am making the right decision for my situation. Never in a million years, did I think I would have bc or get a hysterectomy to reduce risks. With a now or April timeline, I felt now is better that letting it linger over my head. At my age, most women have gone through menopause and this is not an issue. To have such strong ovaries, hormonal production and not even being near menopausal, my MO would have guessed my biological age at 40, not early 50's. I have 13 days to come to terms with the fact that I am doing another surgery so close to the lumpectomy. I will be free, afterward, with alot less stress and worry. I can't wait.
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Hang in there Michelle. Think about benefits such as being able to fearlessly wear white jeans!!!! I was thrilled when I said adios to that portion of my life. My big worry was that I wouldn't get the cleaning fits that used to come with it, but I have managed to keep my place clean.
Nothing with my trip through AIs came close mood-wise as a good case of PMS.
I will also mention that weight gain and flab are NOT inevitable. Almost 15 years later, I am fit and buff. In fact, I can see a difference from all the skiing recently. My hero in this area is Helen Mirren who was voted something like "Hot Body of the Year" a number of years ago by LA Fitness members. She was in her mid 60s at the time.
I am nearly comatose this AM after working until almost midnight redoing a research report. The initial writer took the view that the alternative hypothesis (that there is in fact a statistical difference between the two groups interviewed in the focus groups) and structured the report that way. This is misleading as not enough respondents to know. The point is uncover major themes to be tested in the quantitative research to see if true.
I will be working most of the day and evening on this plus have a client call at 7a tomorrow. There is something else short that I need to get out the door today. Not to mention a couple of other things I need to get moving on.
So much for my radiant complexion and lively wit!!!!
I am sure it will return with a good dose of cold air. Which will happen this weekend when I hit the ski trails. - Claire
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I went to see my ob/gyn today regarding the hysterectomy and ovarian removal. The surgery will take about one hour and I will have to stay overnight in the hospital. My doctor encouraged me to take pain meds, which I told him that tylenol would be fine. He said if I needed to, I could take a bit of morphine. I hope the hospital does not push drugs on me because I am a very particular consumer of meds. He explained everything in excellent detail, as my husband nearly vomited in the garbage can (just kidding). Twelve days and counting, I also have to stay home and away from others to be well for the surgery. I plan to working on beading projects and house projects to fill my time.
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We are expecting a winter ice storm this weekend. Yipee! Since I am on lockdown anyhow, it will be business as usual. The air is very dry where I live, and every time you put on something black, you turn into a magnet. One minute you are wearing a sleek black outfit, the next minute you have collected dust, hair and whatever else is floating in the air. The other day I took my mom to the orthopaedic foot doctor. I threw a very pretty shawl over my outfit, and by the time I had arrived at the doctor's office, I was wearing a blanket of fuzz. I promptly gave that shawl to my mom who does not wear dark colors. My son calls me Johnny Cash, because I wear so many dark colors! I think it is tres chic, and he thinks of it as "old man from the 60's." Well, time to plan a grocery list for my shut in weekend!!
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Well, we did not get the ice storm that was expected. What we did get however was a slight glaze on the roads and surfaces. I don't know how I am going to be homebound for 10 more days awaiting surgery. I am going to have to get out at least one time per day. My son checks into the dorm tomorrow and I will again start working on my basement and clearing out anything non essential. I also plan to put up some shelving in my bathroom for towels. My house is 100 years old and did not come equipped with storage. Been here for 22 years, still need storage.
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I just got in TWO days of perfect skiing. First was with my friend Amanda. Went back today as only so many perfect days in a lifetime and I was blessed with two in a row. Only problem was that yesterday approached Absolute Zero when out of the sun and in the wind.
Feeling extremely buff and nice to be down a couple more pounds as well. I realized today that anyone who refers to "only" 10 miles of Nordic skiing as "lite" is really hard core. You will see why I find it so inspiring, and why I am beyond grateful to be able to do this. - Claire
From today. Getting off the chairlift. Nordic trails are to the left at the bottom of this section. Gorgeous day.
Silver peak. We didn't get to do the final climb yesterday as ran out of time. Can't wait to do that one again, as it's been about 3 years.
From the viewpoint. The mountains in the far distance are the Olympics on the other side of Seattle and the Puget Sound.
View of the mountains on the other side of Snoqualmie Pass, from above the saddle between Radio Mountain and Mt Catherine. Getting to this point involved a 4k uphill climb.
Picture from today's ski. Frog Lake and sun in mist. First time on this trail and one of my favorites.
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Those are beautiful and breathtaking pictures. Thank you so much for sharing them Claire. You are such a great example how to live life after a bc diagnosis and treatment. I think we, as bc survivors, look at things a bit differently and have so much appreciation for simple things in life. Nature is so abundant with beauty and it is wonderful to be surrounded by it. I went for a walk today in my neighborhood, which is comprised of 100 year old homes, a park, mature trees and beautiful architecture. This area is one of my most favorite places to live. Illinois can be challenging in the winter because we have so many overcast days. I use a light from Canada, called "SADelite." I have had it for 18 years or so, and I have it on most January days. I want snowfall so badly because it could brighten up our outdoors. I will walk in heavy snowfall, just not ice. Claire, you keep going girl, because you are going for all of us who can't right now. I am so grateful to have met you on this board.
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Hi Michelle, I had the same surgery date as you! Here, in New York's Hudson Valley, it was a beautiful summer day. It is a date I will never forget. I was searching around on the BCO for people who are having/ had ovaries removed. Would you be willing to share more info about why? I'm on OFS but wondering about other choices- thanks for your positive outlook!!
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Falconer, that you for stopping by this thread! My decision to get a hysterectomy is twofold. Most women my age have gone through menopause. I am not near it according to all of the tests and ultrasounds that I have done. I think I was a late bloomer. I have been debating since November, chemical or mechanical shut down. I was set to have my first zoladex shot, and my ob/gyn got permission to do the surgery. I need to take an AI, at least in the short term, because of a conflict between Zoloft (SSRI) and Tamoxifen. I am not willing to give up my SSRI, because I really need to be on top of my game, during this process. Also, with Tamoxifen comes the risk of uterine cancer or endometrial hyperplasia, an additional risk I am not willing to accept. With everything on the table, consulting with my MO and OBGYN, the hysterectomy was the best long term choice. Am I looking forward to the surgery? No, but it is my choice and will be one less huge worry. I was 95% ER + and 85 PR+. I have been eating very healthy for awhile and have shed some lbs. I want to get to the part of this diagnosis where I start to live my life again. My youngest daughter, 18, just graduated from high school last year and I wanted to visit Paris for a month or so, which had to be postponed. I have been waiting until my kids were both in college to do several things on my list. I am not waiting anymore. I see Claire, above, living her life and enjoying her moments. I want to be able to do the same. How old were you at diagnosis and what were your percentages of positive hormones?
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Good morning Michelle,
I was 45 when I was diagnosed and also not near menopause. I have three children - 18, 15, and 3!! ER 100% PR 98%. I started Lupron on 11/11/16, with the intention to take an AI once the Lupron kicked in, but it hasn't sat well with me, so I've been wondering what else to do. Thanks for your candid response. It is so helpful to learn from everyone's experiences.
A Paris trip sounds lovely! My daughter went two summers ago with her grandmother. It was wonderful. There's a book called French Milk, a graphic novel actually, that you and your daughter might enjoy reading. There are many drawings of croissants!
Best to you.
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Hi Falconer -- I just turned 50 and my hormone levels were no where near menopause. As my MO didn't want to put me on Tamoxifen due to some of the risk factors I have, she recommended that I have my ovaries (and Fallopian tubes) removed to put me into menopause. I had that surgery done about 3 weeks ago now and I have my follow-up appointment with her on Wednesday with a blood draw today to see how my hormone levels are now. Hoping they have dropped enough to start my AI therapy. I know I have been experiencing a lot of hot flashes, especially in the past week so guessing it's kicking in! The surgery was done laparoscopic but I have to say, it was tougher than I thought it would be! I suppose since it was an abdominal surgery, that makes sense but I just didn't plan for it to be as hard of a recovery. I am still having some soreness on my right side (they had a larger incision on that side). However, I was back to work in a week working half days and went back full time with lifting restrictions after 2 weeks so I guess I am healing fine -- I just didn't go into it thinking it would hurt as much as it did!
. Anxiously awaiting my MO appointment this week to get moving on my next stage of treatment. Nervous about the possible side-effects but trying to stay very positive that this is the best course of action to keep the cancer from reoccurring. Good luck with your treatments!
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Hi Michelle,
Thank you for the kind words, but I don't see any acceptable alternative. Anything else is cheating yourself of life. Going through treatment, I took the view that I would try anything within reason that I wanted to, and my body would tell me if I went beyond my limits.
A good example is this past Saturday. I actually got into trouble on the back end of my ski as I was chilled and hypothermic. I knew that I needed to keep moving, but I also needed to recover from the long (4k) downhill stretch of skiing in the shade, <10F temps, and wind. The result is that I went into an asthma attack from the cold, and this was aggravated by every gulp of frigid air I took in. I told my friend that I needed to stop for a moment (I have never had this happen before) and she identified what was wrong with me. I calmed down just enough to breathe normally and continued. The downhill was over and I was able to generate enough body heat to be just fine for the last 2k of skiing.
Still thrilled that I went, and I will find warmer mittens/gloves. Mine should be fine, but really don't work when it gets really cold. Still feeling the frostbite as I type this.
And what did I do yesterday???? I went back out for more, but made sure I got down while the SUN was still out. Much warmer, and I was just fine.
I told Amanda last night that this wouldn't be a good "Amanda and Claire Adventure" if all had gone well. This is a far better story
I am saying this because we don't know what we can accomplish unless we try. I can certainly predict what will happen if we don't try. One thing that got me through treatment was a VISION of a day when all would be over and life would be fabulous again. I got there.
I will also say that taking the view that you just need to "dial things down a bit" also helps. I did everything I would normally do, but just not as much of most things. (I even got out on my skis once, but the real issue was that a horrible winter for skiing...I missed the "skiing on ice cubes" conditions - no great loss.) That way, I felt that life was nearly normal, and that I was part of the world. But I didn't need any surgery beyond the lumpectomy and I was just fine (if a bit tired) from that the next day.
I agree on the need not to postpone the things you really want to do in life. I feel this much more acutely being in my mid 60s. I live in a complex where I am the ONLY ONE doing these things, other than a lovely man who does these things with his grandson as no one else in his life to do these things with. His wife is so proud of both of them. She just took a job bagging groceries at the local supermarket....just loves it, and she is a bit thinner with a lot more bounce in her step from the exercise and from being with much younger co-workers.
My oncologist tells me that I am the ONLY ONE of her patients doing these things. She is at least 20 years younger and just shakes her head at how fit I am. She is jealous of my buff body. As I am just fine, we talk about shoes!!!!
I feel like I was a bit of a trailblazer in my trip through cancer treatment, and that I am applying these learnings to the "encore career" period of my life. I am certainly applying them to the work I do, including my experience at BCO.org. I may need to jump in and help moderate online focus groups. Have I done this??? NO, but I will figure this out as know how online exchanges work, and how you elicit dialogue and probe.
Need to prep for a call with my old boss and mentor from my corporate days. I use him as the audience for writing reports as he always need to wrap his head around the topic, and I had to do the right setup. So I will be interested in his comments on the website. Then onto a big proposal plus outstanding items I just need to get out of the way.
Life is good....and only a bit stiff from all the skiing. Not to mention that I didn't freeze to death on the mountain!!!!
More escapades to come...... But you have to make these things happen. - Claire
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Thank you Falconer for your story. It is appreciated.
That you gailpet, your story is appreciated.
Thank you Claire, for being an inspiration and perhaps starting a movement in the bc world. You inspire me. I want to be THE ONE that my MO points out. I am THE ONE that my radiologist points out. I used the Calendula salve daily and had nothing remarkable happen during my radiation. Slight itching occurred after rads treatment was over. That made me very happy. If we don't blaze these trails, no one else is going to either. Therefore, we have a united motto: "Life: the final frontier.These are the voyages of breast cancer sisters. The five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new opportunities and new medications; to boldly go where no one has gone before." - adapted from Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise
P.S. Claire, glad you got off of the mountain in one piece!!
Update: 6:15pm Illinois Time....just got back from a walk...here is my road scape....very foggy, almost Halloween feel to it....
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Thank you everyone. Gailpet, I appreciate the info as I was wondering about working afterward. I already missed 6 weeks following the mastectomy. And Claire, I'm with Michelle. Even your latest post inspired me to remember to be in the moment. The result: dancing with my three year old to Shut Up and Dance with Me- his favorite song
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Claire, how about the heat packs for gloves? My husband and son wear those when they are hunting and they keep them warm. There are also battery operated insoles that keep your feet warm. Also, Smartwool for underpinnings might be warmer than silk!!!
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I will more than likely have my ovaries and tubes removed, but my GYN appointment isn't until 2/13. I have gotten along okay with the zoladex injections and exemestane, but driving 3 hours total once a month for an injection for the next 5-10 years seems ridiculous. I was 90% estrogen positive and I think I will feel better knowing the ovaries are gone.
I did ask about hormone testing and was told I would have to stop the zoladex for 3 months before they can test levels for menopause. I'm not comfortable with that idea... Only being 40, I can't imagine I would be there yet, but who knows?
Love the pictures Claire!
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On the topic of ski gear: I think the really cold skiing is over. The problem is my mittens: feet were warm in my Smartwool heavy hiking socks. I could use replacements for those. Temps near 30 and sunny is a lot different than temps <10F and windy. I was wearing my wool sweater plus hood on top of my warm cashmere (and underpinnings) so essentially 2 hats too!!!
I am hoping to get in another ski this coming Sunday as have a midday meeting on Saturday. That will be a morning run near my place to get in enough exercise.
On the "uplifting" front, I am down another pound from the skiing, so well on my way to my weight loss goal. I should be done by cycling season. Oops...need to replace my cycling shorts too!!
I could do with new skis too. It never ends. I have had these 11 years and I really could use lighter/work better in tracks. I am a better skier than I was 10 years ago so time for an upgrade. I looked on the LL Bean site and noticed that I need the "advanced" model which is heartening. Because I need to be able to negotiate downhills.
Got the proposal out yesterday, so progress on that front.
As for apres ski, I have discovered that Starbucks Double Chocolate is just perfect. I make with boiling water, not milk, and swirl in heavy cream. Just the perfect cup of drinking chocolate...YUM!!!!
One more thing I recommend for apres ski: cashmere sweats. I look for them on eBay and snag black separates. They are PERFECT after a hot bath - warm and luxurious. I slide into them after cold bicycle rides or runs in the rain.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. - Claire
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Lovely, Claire. Just lovely!!! My son went skiing in the area of Bern, Switzerland and of course, went on to visually appreciate the Matterhorn. He loved Switzerland and all of its splendor. My husband's cousin, John, lives in Vail, Colorado and is a ski and outfitter reseller on Ebay. I think his business is called the Matterhorn, with some other word attached. He is a fantastic skiier, and has lived there for over 20 years. He is very knowledgeable in ski stuff,of course which I only had a limited experience in trying. You are going to be svelte by the time you are ready to bike!! I am not anywhere near my goal weight, but getting there one lb at a time.
I really love Smartwool products. The first time I purchased socks at a local upscale shoe store. They were so warm and kept my feet toasty. I had purchased the little no show socks to go into a pair of dansko red patent leather clogs. When my daughter was in grade school, I did alot of running around and standing. Clogs were a good choice then, now I really like wearing my sperry duck boots with Zella leggings from Nordstrom. As you could see from the picture above, even in Illinois, we get precipitation at surprise intervals. I love my leather boots, but I have to check the weather before heading out the door. I can't stand getting street salt on my good shoes and boots. The surprising thing is, I have worn this look for years and now teenyboppers (shown below) are buying up all of the sperry boots!
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I went for my walk today - 3600 steps, woohoo. I am building each day to reach at least 5000 steps. I don't know how people get in 10,000 steps per day! Trying to keep myself busy until the big day! I had to leave a message with my doctors office today about the BSO, and when I googled it, The Boston Symphony Orchestra was the first listing in the search. So, I am going to call my big day, The Boston Symphony Orchestra Day. I did some beadwork, a little bit of sewing, worked on health insurance matters and watched, London has Fallen on Netflix. I have also been reading some of the other threads, and they make me sad. Women are not able to take the antihormonals successfully, and I hope that does not become me. Maybe after The Boston Symphony Orchestra Day, I won't have as many free floating hormones to worry about........
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I don't do 10,000 steps every day, but I almost always do at least 6000. The trick is to measure out a route that distance and then just walk it! You will want to be exercising as you go into AIs as it should help you tolerate them better. I admit that I was a bit achier, but nothing I couldn't easily manage. Alas, I did NOT lose weight when I stopped them at the end of 5 years. Which leads me to my current "shed the lard" campaign.
I use the time to relax, reflect, unwind, and plan.
I have the same footwear as you, Michelle. However, I wore my hiking boots last night as toasty and also just fine in rain. They are Asolos and worth every penny. I have had them for almost a decade. They are wonderful when the footing is a bit iffy. Not to mention, great for hiking!!!
The biggest post treatment health problem we need to watch out for is deconditioning. The studies linking breast cancer to other health problems such as heart disease miss this step. Treatment leads to lack of exercise, leads to deconditioning, leads to all the ills associated with lack of exercise: poor heart function, weak bones, shallow breathing, poor transfer of oxygen, mushy brain, bad sleeping, sour mood and disposition, bad digestion, achy body, sluggish metabolism, sagging everything, lack of interest in the "Godly Arts".
My own view is that the oft-quoted "150 minutes per WEEK of walking" will forestall most of this, but it's not quite enough to get you to vibrant health. I think you need at least twice that, or one hour per day on weekdays. This is the same concept as "pay yourself first" with retirement savings.
That way, you are up for whatever life throws at you, and it's a lot more fun as well.
Because you want to be able to do all the walking that a Paris visit requires.....just saying!! - Claire
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Claire, Paris is definitely a motivating factor, as is my trek in Vegas. I have a really nice, long boulevard that I live on that is 1.5 miles every two laps. I have used that lap many times in my life to stay in shape, get focused and stay moving. If I need anything, my house is on my trek. I am going to work up to at least 3 miles per day in the next few months.
I like the idea of your "personal" savings account. Paying yourself first is so important, yet sometimes hard to do. I am going to be my first priority, which has been hard to do with everyone wanting a piece of me - husband, children, nieces, sisters, etc. I have to get the next few years right, for my overall quality of life. I have a plant based diet, no vices except I like to shop and bargain hunt, meditate through my beadwork, and have a great support system.
I am going to keep my eye on the prize, which is my health, so that I can have the best quality of life possible. As always, that you for your uplifting messages and support, Claire. It is much appreciated.
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Just finished my almost 4000 step walk for the evening. It is pretty chilly here, but I made myself get out and clear my head, 6 days and counting to my surgery and I want to be strong! Working on getting projects organized for the down time after surg and doing some handwash laundry. Sounds exciting, right. Would rather be at the big basketball game with the governor, but I am homebound for 6 more days.....
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