My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mara - thank God you were not hurt in the fall. So very scary. I worry about falling.
Irish - prayers for your hubs and the outcome of biopsy.0 -
Thank you Goldens. Just gathering thoughts for calling cancer clinic and explaining what I need which is somebody in house initially to show me getting up and getting me to the point of doing it on its own, I have the theory thanks to youtube, just need the practice. I want to also march and find some exercises to increase arm strength, specifically pushing up so when on bum, could put myself say on a pillow until I could push myself on couch or a chair. Also going to move a folding chair out so if I need to, I could use it to get up on. I am not at an assisted living level yet but love the thoughts that way, just need to keep up with nutrition and exercise. I will figure it all out but want some extra help too.
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@irishlove how cute that you have 2 pittie rescues. Lately I’ve been taping and binge watching “Pit Bulls & Parolees” TV show. I love how they care for and help these dogs get adopted. I am a dog person and always had dogs since the beginning of our marriage. I could never be without my dogs in my life.💗🐾🐾. Before Cancer I used to volunteer for Great Dane Rescue as a foster for incoming Great Dane orphans.I loved it. The day I was first diagnosed with stage IIIA breast cancer, the rescue coordinator called me and said, Barb, I know you have a lot on your plate but we. Know you’ve been waiting to take in a foster to adopt, so you are my first call. We have a 5 month old brindle puppy who was living with a young military man on an air force base in South Dakota, who ended up with the man’s parents after being deployed to Afghanistan,and the parents just couldn’t care for this puppy and called Great Dane rescue here in NJ. So I asked DH if we could take him and we did, he ended up being the best therapy dog for me while I was going through Chemo. I loved him so much.we adopted him and had him for 5years until he pas away from cancer of the spine. His name was Bruno.
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Shana ~hello beauty! I love dogs always have. I lost my two dogs within 8 months of each other. I still haven’t recovered.
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Shana, beautiful dog looks lovely.
I made breakfast, two runny poached eggs containing cheese and chicken seasoning along with a garlic english muffin. Really good. Relegating peanut butter to a small dessert in small doses. Walking for a half hour with any and all short water breaks will happen, this on the treadmill, some plain marching as well. I want to be cautious but also get good exericise. Will keep watching the videos about getting up but I want someone around when I start doing that. If I can do that inside, I should be better off.
Edited, 5 or 10 minutes at a time will be a start, need several times a day, no worrying about steps. If I can walk to the bus stop, I am good to go.
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Mara-So sorry to hear about yesterday. It seems like your last PT was afraid to have you practice coming up from the floor, maybe fearing she would not be able to get you up if necessary. Do you have PT centers in Ontario? In the states, we can get home PT but there is also the option of going out to PT centers, which are usually much better. They are like gyms and have many people working there so that two or more people can assist a client when necessary. When I broke my leg, I had home PT until I was able to navigate stairs and get to the PT center.
I practice yoga and get up and down off the floor several times a day. What works best for me is to roll onto my side, then come to my hands and knees, then straighten my strongest leg, then the other to come up. Sometimes this is called the "Starfish" method on youtube. I think it is more a matter of coordination than strength and hope you can find the right team to help you.
Wishing you all the best as you figure things out.
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Well, treadmill is a no go. I almost fell off, If I need to do much beyond marching and my PT, will do it with a cane. Not surprised that the treadmill is an issue now, I cannot use escalators anymore either. Definitely feeling the need for an appointment to have my brain checked out, though my number of falls have not technically increased, the threats have. Selliing the wee treadmill. Walk in side on the spot and at the mall a few times a week. I have also had the feeling recently of not feeling right, think we need revisit my brain as I also have trouble talking during those times too.
Chicagoan, the coordination is my problem, I have watched many ways to get up, they look simple enough to do, it is just coordinating my body that has been getting more difficult. I think next week will need to talk to my RO first and try to get in with MO if nothing comes from that. If I am going to get progressively worse, hospice would be my next stop as I have always said I don't want to try different drugs. But that conversation is not in the immediate future nor do I think I need E immediately. Will request appointment next week and just say I am worried about my brain first, if that is ruled out then we can move onto physio. I need more that 3 meetings. Anyway, enough about me and my fall, was not hurt and did not fully fall off the treadmill while walking but not touching it again. March on spot, pace on floor, PT. No more of my monopoly, would rather hear about others.
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Oh, mara, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say! I’m glad you’re (mostly) OK. I hope your medical team can give you some answers.
Shanagirl, I had one Airedale Terrier who LOVED his vet. He’d bark at her if she walked though the waiting room without acknowledging him. He’d practically drag me through the door to get INTO the clinic. Silly boy. I miss him.
I watched a documentary years ago about inmates who trained service dogs. They’d be totally responsible for the dog, and then would personally give the dog to the individual during a special ceremony. It was something to watch these tough inmates cry when they handed the dog over. It changed their lives.
Carol
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I'll give a little life update. Sometimes it feels weird to post when things are good but we know with MBC things can change on a dime and I try to enjoy the good, semi-normal times the best I can. Today I am watching the Cubs play in London on TV and thinking of Sondra. Later I'm heading up to Summerfest in Milwaukee to see James Taylor. I've worked 3 concerts myself the past 3 nights and am kind of wiped out because we stand for 7.5 hours with just a short 20 minute break-actually 10 minutes once you get to the break room. I'm looking forward to sitting and hearing the music instead of checking other people's tickets. Hope everyone has some fun and some good relaxation over the weekend whether you are painting, petting your cats or dogs, or cooking a delicious meal.
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Enjoy yourself Chicagoan, should be a good time for sure.
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@shanagirl I love the picture of you and Bruno. People that love dogs are my kind of people. And Mel, I hear you about loss. They truly are a part of our families. My first rescue was 1978, when a Shep/Lab we named Rex, literally jumped thru the open window of my car. He had be clipped by a car on a super busy highway. I've lost count, but we've rescued many dogs, mostly with special needs, including a Great Dane, named Donatello. His best buddy and mine, was Irishlove, a Plot hound mix, who would look into your soul with big brown eyes. We rescued but never let them go to another home. They were ours and we were theirs. Oh my heart….
@mara51506 I'm really concerned about your falling. Stay away from the treadmill, at least for the time being. Please don't let your mind go to frightening places. Sometimes balance issues are caused by other medical issues. Stay safe and I will be in your pocket for your next appointments. 10
@denny10 Thank you for the UTI suggestions. My problem is I am stage 4 prolapsed bladder/neurogenic bladder. I can't empty completely due to MS. My bladder has totally dropped. I tried a pessary ring, but it just blocked the bowel, which I already have constipation. I try kegels to help with pelvic issues, but…TMI..
Anyone else notice that humidity makes you feel worse, or is it just me? If I could have one special wish, that would be someone to cook for us. It's just to hot. DH does not cook, except a ribeye on the grill once a week. DD is a vegan and she never cooks or eats at regular times. Mara always has great ideas on food. Prices are crazy and I just don't have stamina to cook like I use to. We use the crock pot often, especially in the summer so as not to heat the oven.
Another storm cooking, gotta find kittycats.
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Hello all - I’m back after a hellacious week. Enhertu was an absolute b*tch. Today is day 10 since my first infusion and I’m turning the corner. I’m not even going to attempt to respond to everyone but I did read and catch up on your lives.
My husband doesn’t cook beyond eggs, French toast, pancakes or a ribeye on the grill. I once asked him to make me rice when I was having major D and I don’t know how someone can screw up rice but it had to be thrown out. He is willing to bring home take out food but when I’m sick, most of that is not what I want or can stomach. Since I needed nutrition this week (even if I had no appetite), I’ve now compiled a list of SUPER simple things he can make with ingredients we usually have on hand. They aren’t fancy and not all are high in nutrients but it’s something. I’m talking things like a tortilla spread with hummus, cucumber, romaine, jarred roasted red pepper and feta. Or even a grilled ham and cheese with tomato or spinach if we have it. Diced chicken sausage and potatoes. Baked potato topped with chili he can buy at our community restaurant. Various salad ingredient combos and which pre made dressing goes with it so he doesn’t even have to make the dressing. I’ve got maybe 30 things on the list. This list might help him after I’m gone too.0 -
mara, it's so unusual for you to sound less than positive. I hope your medical team can give you some help and reassurance. Pls take care over the next few days.
Irishlove , UTIs really drag you down , so sorry. Maybe a long term low dose prophylactic antibiotics could help? That will be my next step.
My husband cooks , tastes ok but looks -could be improved !!! After years of chemo my mouth/ intestines cannot take chilli, at all, {I used to love hot Indonesian meals}. He forgets to check ingredient lists and I recently ended up with a mouth full of ulcers after lunch of cheese and biscuits. The biscuits had chilli in them , I only had one before i realised .
I wish you all a quiet , surprise free week.
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@micmel Yes I’m definitely a dog person. Over the years we’ve had many that touched my soul so deeply. To lose them is like losing a family member. It hurts my heart when I think of them. We always grieve their loss, Mel I hear you, sweetly.💗
@irishlove As we are dog people, I love the fact that Stage IV breast cancer is not the only connection we have. I’ve had cats growing up and while my kids were growing up but as much as I loved them, it was not like the dogs. Although I remember my one cat, “T.C” (top Cat) we rescued him when he was a kitten. He looked like a little Sylvester cartoon. Well, the children were toddlers and preschool when he came to live with our family. He was such a good cat. He sept with my baby son Brett in his crib and his whole life. We also had Yellow Labs, mother & son, and a 90 lb big English bull dog at the time and T.C. would sleep with them when they were puppies. He loved all dogs. Also, he would walk with the Kids when they walked to elementary school and stop at the crossing guard and walk back home. The he would walk back to the crossing guard when he knew they were coming home and wait for them to walk back home with them….he greeted every dog that walked by with it’s owner. He was such a good cat. As he got older he started to lose his hearing and I think eventually went deaf, so what he loved to do was sleep on the lounge chair by the pool.. On one particular day I had gone to the gym and when I got home I looked out into the back yard and to my horror, our beloved cat was lying dead and pieces of him were strewn around the cement area and pool cover. I screamed and ran outside and noticed suddenly the two Jack Russell terriers ran towards me to attack my ankles. I knew that moment they had gotten loose from their yard got in our yard and attacked TC while he was sleeping. Their was blood and scratch marks all over the pool cover, and tufts of blood skin and hair all over the patio. Our huge English Bull Dog, Sebastion tore assed down the stairs to protect me from them and chased them out of our back yard and came back to sit with me as I had just dropped to the ground next to my beloved cat T.C., who was deaf and 22 yrs old. I sat their crying and wailing “they killed my Kitty”. The police came and wrote up a report… I will never forget that cat, who loved all dogs, was 22yrs old and never deserved to die that way, He was literally torn apart while he must have endured a tug of war with him from the looks of the bloody scratch marks on the pool cover.😭. There is more to the story but I am afraid I’ll lose this post. I never had a cat after TC. Becaus no cat could ever take his place in my heart & soul
Love Barb💕
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Barb, your story of TC is so sad. I love dogs and have a Maltipoo lying next to me right now, but before her I always had cats too. My last one, Salsa, got diabetes when I was first diagnosed and was so sick. I couldn't take care of her and me too as she threw up daily and stopped using her box. I couldn't keep bending over to care for her messes so we had to put her down. I still miss all my kitties.
My DH got bit by a large dog yesterday and had to go to ER. He is ok today but it was not a good day. It was unprevoked and was the dog of a friend. There is lots more to this story but you all don't want to know all that. Dogs and cats provide so much comfort that we all need right now.
Take care dear sisters.
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Sad story about TC. We fostered both cats and dogs for the city animal shelter. My specialty was sick or hospice cats. Tried bottle baby kittens but after 3 days of feeding every 3 hours, my brain didn't work and I had to send them on to another foster parent. Had 3 dogs, all part shepherd and numerous cats. My heart kitties were Marmalade, Squeakers and Mocca. I had to give up my most recent cat when I moved in with my DD, but her adopter sends me photos from time to time. She is best friends with the adopter's 8 mo old black lab.
I just spent 5 days at my son's in Hood River, OR. Beautiful place. We went to see the fire dancers on Solstice. Fun to see my grandsons.
In pockets wherever needed. Sunshine, I had good luck taking Ibrance after dinner. I read on BCO that many were taking it then.
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Into light, I am sorry about your dog and that would have been highly stressful and we want to here anything you are prepared to talk about. In you pocket and a small pocket for your dog.
Irishlove, I tend to feel worse, DB has more headaches and SIL also is hit hard. You are definitely not alone for that.
I am not sure what I want to do, doing some laundry, making a sausage mcmuffin, probably do some leslie sansone marching, do mall walking next week two to three times. No stumbles recently, I did notice when cats play, the move a step I use out of place which I think tripped me. Still phoning for an app't on Monday as I want someone to watch and or train me through getting up both with stuff to pull myself up to outdoors if there is nothing to use. Not willing to practice without someone to lift me. I need to know if anything is happening in my brain as well since when I did fall, I could not speak right for a bit. Anyway, beautiful day today but staying in today. PT next week and mall walking.
Breakfast was a simple eggmcuffin, nothing fancy, little well done but was tasty. Unsure what other meals will contain. I am also trying to be a little more basic on things I put together as well, not always enjoying what I put together. Learn as I go I guess.
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RK, I've heard that Enhertu can be tough with side effects, I'm sorry you're going through it. Hope you're feeling a bit better, and hoping the side effects calm down for you.
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Good morning, all. I had a non-sleep night, despite taking some OTC sleep aids. I'm quite groggy this morning.
I had a Memory pop up on FB yesterday. It was of our Airedale Terrier, Jeeves, and my DH. I'll see if I can post it along with another one of Jeeves and me in the park on a foggy morning.
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@intolight So sorry to hear about Salsa. It’s hard enough to be sick from MBC but caring for a very sick diabetic cat’s litter box is something that would just be too hard to manage with the pain and physical limitations of metastatic disease. My heart goes out to you.💗
@wren44 I love the names of your heart ♥️🐾🐾🐾🐈⬛🐈🐈
@micmel I feel your loss of losing on dog right after another. We went through a similar experience with our 3 pugs,Priscilla, 17, Raleigh 13.Passed away from senior dog related issues within 6 months of each other. But we were not prepared for the sudden death of our little black pug Mikki, 10. He just stopped eating one day and within a week the vet said his organs were shutting down and he was dying. So we had to let him. Go over the bridge. The vet said it looked like he must have had terminal cancer that. Didn’t show itself until the organs started shutting down., My heart was broken because he was only 10 which is still young for a pug….My DH and I felt we would not want to go through this loss again and said No More Dogs. But within 3 months we were both missing a dog in our lives and our whole daily schedule always centered around caring for their needs, so we wanted to fill that void with pug. So we found a nice breeder who home raised his puppies, and we ended up coming home with brothers, ….OMG We were so in love with them after a week. They were so good and trained so quickly. The 2 of them have always slept in our bed from the first week we got them. They were 9 weeks old when we brought them home. We picked them out when they were 5 weeks old but they needed a few more weeks to stay with their mama dog and litter mates, so we waited. They are inseparable and so funny together. Their names are Ollie & Sammy🥰
MARA glad you’re walking and marching but please be careful and don’t stumble💕
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Shana~I’m so sad about your story. Poor little thing. I would have strangled those mutts. What did the police do? If anything!
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Good evening everyone. Spent the night watching Youtube Ryan Hall Y'all with storm chasing, mostly in Indiana and Kentucky. More tornadoes and damage. Praying for all that were in the path of those storms.
@denny10 I had started Macrobid 100 mg as a preventive and the MO put an end to it immediately. He said ok to treat UTI when it's positive but felt that being on Macrobid was not a good idea as it is an antibiotic. He didn't elaborate, but I got the message. I did see a good youtube video from an urologist talking about lack of B1 and corelation to UTI's. Got some good info that even my former urologist in NC never shared. Also recommended apple cider vinegar in water daily. I've heard that one before.
@shanagirl Oh my heart breaks for the loss of your TC. We've had some heart rendering stories thru the years, both with our kitties and dogs, so I know your heart ache too well. Also, DH was bitten by a young dog while taking a police report at a car dealership (about 10 years ago this happened). The dog belonged to the owner. It broke skin and owner said his dog had his shots. Well after calling his vet, the guy actually quickly took the dog for his shot after the incident. We did nothing as it was the owners fault and did not want a young dog to be euthanized because of a bad owner. DH got preventive shots and was ok.
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@sunshine99 Oh my word do I love Jeeves and his mommy and daddy. Our love of Airedales started with my Grandfather's dog, Pal, when he was a young boy. The first poem my Grandmother recited to me (love poetry and write a little now and then) was called "The Comforter", by Kenneth Graham Duffield. copyright 1918 from the book titled "Bill of the USA".
It's a poem about a WW1 soldier and his war dog, an Airedale. Airedales were used heavily in WW1 and suffered tremendous losses to that breed. My sister had an Airedale named Trooper. Her friend just recently rescued an Airedale, named Tank, from VA. As I'm sure you know, they are a strong willed but lovable breed. I'll give you a few paragraphs:
In no man's land, where the dead men lie, where the shrapnel bursts and the bullets fly, A boy lay shattered and all alone, Gritting hit teeth to choke a groan.
Friends he had but he had to die, Broken and bleeding and wondering why, no comrade came to grip his hand, and wish him luck in the other land.
His eyes grew dim and he tried to pray, And the God of his fathers, far away, Gazed in pity and sent a friend, To guard him close to the bitter end.
Out in the grass a face looked up, The shaggy face of an Airedale pup. Homely he was, but his deep brown eyes, lighted with love and a glad surprise.
One could crawl and the other smile; Both were dying, but after a while, A dog and a boy lay side by side, Happy together and so they died.
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Shana that is a heart breaking story so sorry you experienced such a horrible loss. Like everyone else here our dog is our third child, love her to death.
Irish What a beautiful poem, gave me chills reading it. Hoping you get good news this week for DH.
Wrenn Glad you enjoyed your stay with your son, so nice to get away and take a break from reality.
Had some much needed sunshine yesterday on the water we were able to get a couple hours of boating in. clouds and fog back today.
Waving hi to all and pocket duty for who need it this week.
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shana (Barb) - what a heart wrenching story about your special kitty. That would be haunting me until the day I die. We have had to help all our dogs cross the rainbow bridge, which is hard enough, but to come home to such a disturbing find is a scene right out of a horror movie. So very sorry you had to go through that experience.
Mara - please take extra care. I hope you can get some answers.
Irish - that poem - 🥰Sunshine - love that tree photo😍
Waving hello to everyone. We’ve had a mini family reunion that started Thursday. Best friends from Michigan drove in, their DS and DD came with their families and our DD & SIL flew in. So wonderful to spend time together. Kids all leave tomorrow and best friends on Wednesday.
For all those struggling, pray that this will be a better week!0 -
Thank you everyone, got a call this morning from a care coordinator referred by the paramedics, she is coming to my place next Thursday. I did say the biggest thing is making it so I can coordinate movement to get up myself. In my head I can do it, looks easy enough but due to lack of coordination or whatever is going on, I cannot risk getting on the floor. On the brain side of things, calling to make an appointment with my radiation oncologist to find out if we can check my brain out.
Other than that, breaking down recycling, mid cycle for laundry as well. Thinking of beans and rice with cheese. Chop up beans and wheat bran, put it all in the microwave and go from there. Doing Leslie Sansone, good walking on the spot and PT as well.
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One thing I need to do is take a page out of my own book and realize that worrying about all the things wrong there could be need to be proven first, is there something other than just cancer going on, SIL mentioned dementia though I function well and never forget paying bills or how to get around. I realize thinking about all the crap that I don't know is happening will make me feel worse. Working toward just one day at a time, mall walks 3 times a week and my regular activities as well that are safe, selling the treadmill as well, I don't feel safe and once that feeling creeps in, I don't come back. Will consider an exercise bike instead. Also, going to walk on the spot with music as well in between money stuff, two to three songs at a time instead of the treadmill, walk up and down the hallway. Not that busy during the day so easy to do.
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we had a beautiful white Labrador “ Yukon” strong gorgeous dog. Our family went out to a concert one night and the dogs would stay in the garage while we were gone. Blankets were down, water etc. when we got home and went to let them in the house only one ran in. My sister had come home early to find that beautiful creature had gotten his collar caught on a railing for the steps. He hung himself. It was traumatic for my sister to find him. They must have been playing. And he jumped down off the steps and got caught on the spindle top. It was something our family will never forget. Shanas story reminded me of that night. I feel for you so much Shana , having to see that.
Mara~ I’m worried about you sweetheart, please be very careful no matter what you’re doing. Even slow down the Marching if need be. Rest yourself and regain your strength. Sending positive thoughts to you always. Hugs your way.0 -
Mara- How about seeing your Primary Care Physician? What if it is early Parkinson's? Or MS? Or even your electrolytes being off wack? Or mini-strokes, as you mentioned having difficulty talking during an episode. Yes, you need to check the brain, since you have a history of brain mets. But it could be various things that has your coordination off and causing you to fall, and then not be able to get back up. Sounds like you need several things checked- - a general check up with a PCP.
I have trouble with my hip. It is good-old-fashioned arthritis. Someone told me that with cancer we should have a pass for everything else. But it doesn't work that way. And so I am dealing with arthritis and the need for a hip replacement (don't know yet if I am going to do surgery).
Please get checked out. Sounds like you need more than PT and marching in place in your apartment.
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waving hello to everyone. Entering the crappy days from chemo treatment so am reading but not good at individual responses right now. Sorry to read the stories of pets and bad news. Love animals. It’s so hard to lose them. Hugs to everyone which such sad events.
Finished dosing of steroids for this treatment so having to watch blood sugar closely. Just now BS was 63 so had OJ. Feeling better but realize walking to toilet could cause another fall. So scary.
Anyway— just wanted to say I am reading posts and saying prayers. Just can’t respond here as I want to right now.
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