My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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@kittykat9876 - in your pocket for the MRI.
Have they finished the blood transfusion?0 -
@kittykat9876 In your pocket and hoping for the best possible outcome. Hugs.
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Hope you all had a lovely Father's day with the DH's. Was a beautiful day here , we went boating and our son came along was a great day!
Kitty Sending good thoughts for your MRI, hugs.
LOL that cat Mara, cracked me up!
Hi to everyone else here and always praying for all who are struggling.
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Kitty~ in your pocket for mri. Sending you good vibes.
Mae~good to see you. Feel better.0 -
Kitty - joining for pocket duty. Praying you get good news🙏🏻🙏🏻
Mara - that laundry cat was too funny.
Middle GS turns 10 today. Had a lovely co-birthday/father’s day dinner at DD yesterday. Crab legs and steak. Yum. Will go watch his ⚾️ game tonight.0 -
KittyKat— Pocket duty from here. Hugs.
Speaking of "pocket duty", I have a real-life pocket duty story. And it is not funny. I have a local in-life friend that also has MBC. She goes to my church. We have known each other for YEARS. She sat with me during my breast biopsy and lumpectomy and was there during my mastectomy. Her MBC is bone-only and has been stable for the last 11 years on Arimidex only. Her last PET showed liver involvement and she called to tell me she needed a liver biopsy. I asked her when it was scheduled so I could come be with her. She hesitated, and said her husband and sister would be with her. I could tell she didn't want me there, so I backed off.
I saw her at church yesterday and asked her if she had any news. She said she is going to the doctor this week. Again, I said I could come with her. She said her husband and sister would be with her. Then, she proceeded to tell me something that really took me back. She said her husband wonders what "my deal is". That essentially, I am wallowing in the subject. I asked if he understood that I have gone thru this—- I have liver involvement, been on Ibrance, had 2 liver biopsies, and thought I could be of some help. She said she understood, but he does not. He knows I have cancer and feels that is all I think about. ——- I do not. I have other interests. But, I guess I need to hush up about medical stuff and not talk about it anymore. If he thinks that way, I bet others do too.
With my "texting buddy" stopping our friendship 2 weeks ago, and now this, I am feeling even more alone.
Anyway, Pocket Duty works better virtually I guess.
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Candy,
Sorry for that hurtful comment-what a thing to say, especially at church! I think you were absolutely right to offer your support to your friend, but if she doesn't need it this time, that's fine. She knows you would be willing to be there for her, as she was for you in case she needs accompaniment in the future. I am sorry for the painful events of the past few weeks. Hang in there-know of course that you have faithful friends here and our God is always with us and treasures our company even when no one else seems to.
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Candy, what a thoughtless comment, even if not meant to offend even though it his hurtful and offensive. Use your cue from them, offer your support in other ways, if she is going somewhere, you could give a ride or something simple, bring her over to your place for tea or coffee, something simple and comfortable for you.
I am doing the laundry that did not get done yesterday, few loads given small washers. Know how well blankets worked out, would not offend me to do other bathtub washes, bedding smelled wonderful. The wand washer helps me stay off my knees and agitate everything. Other than that, chores, garbage day today, not too much to take out. Must remember to pick up my blue box promptly as well. Like it for boxes and flyers instead of shredding all the time.
My breakfast was supposed to be regular garlic bread with ground bean beef (black beans premixed with wheat bran), some green olives and cheese on top. I used an english muffin which is fine. It will be good. Garlic sandwiches of different types might be good. Even thought about taking some of the boxed stuffing and whatever meat I have to make a sort of pizza as well. Could probably toast it and skip the extra bread, we will see.
Finally, I need to ensure I keep by body moving, I rarely use the treadmill but need those muscles exercised vs all the marching. Stepping higher is all well and good but without the ability to move forward, legs don't stay in shape, no incline but that is not my primary concern. Forward steps is my current goal with some lifting as well.
I also need to go out, not sure where I want or need to go, may pick up a second recycle bin from the dollar store, restock my english muffins as well.
I must say, I do like the prechopped beans and wheat bran, nice texture. I hate chewy beans. Easily added to other meals. Today's meal of the beans/wheat bran on a garlic muffin and cheese with green olive slices was super good. I will figure out some other things as well. Still got lots of onion rights, hashbrowns, a few eggs. I will figure it out.
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Edited to add, the breakfast was quite good, did start the chores and was getting ready to hop on the treadmill when all of a sudden I was severely exhausted. It was to the point I could not put together thoughts. I have never felt this way so phoned my wellness check to make sure my call went in and called SIL who said check with triage at the cancer clinic. I really had no specific symptoms so they suggested get some sleep. Slept a couple of hours and told SIL I was feeling better. I don't like how I felt in my brain. Scares me a bit but will take what ever rest I need and make sure I am in bed by 10 at the latest, even if I fall asleep after supper. If it is sleep related, take care of that and diet first and go from there. Just scared me is all.
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Candy - I’m so sorry you had to hear that heartless comment. I would encourage you to reach out to your friend and let her know you are available for support. Don’t let that unkind comment change the kind of friend you are. Now if you still keep hitting a brick wall with her, then that will tell you a lot.
Mara - sorry for the fatigue scare. Your body was saying time for a rest.0 -
Camdy, I'm so sorry. I don't know what goes on inside the heads of some people…
(((hugs)))
Carol
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Kitty: In your pocket and praying for some good news.
Candy: I am mad and hurt on your behalf. You are a good friend and deserved to be treated much kinder than you were. I am very happy to be your texting friend if you would like. Very often I feel very alone and it isn't a good feeling. Please please reach out to me at any time. My offer to be your texting friend is sincere and always available for you.
Mara: You did the right thing reaching out for help today. I'm glad you were able to sleep and feel better. Could you reach out to your doctor to let him/her know what happened? My suggestion would be to write down what happened/how you felt/how long it lasted/what you did, that way you have a record of it. Please continue to rest as much as you can and need to.
Hugs for any who would like one.
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Today is my sweet daughter's 19th birthday. We have had a nice day together.
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cm2020, glad to hear you had a good time with your daughter, happy birthday to her.
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Checking in and keeping up on the posts.
Kittykat- joining in your pocket for the MRI. Thinking of you.
Mara- loved the cat doing laundry! Glad you feel better but always best to be proactive if not feeling well.
Candy- terrible comment . If her husband doesn't get it then that is his problem especially when his own wife is going through everything. Just keep asking if you can help her.
RK2020- yes we all have to be our own advocate. Good for you.
Our special son was sick Saturday night so he wasn't able to be here for Father's Day. Was cooking a marinated pork tenderloin so invited the neighbors for dinner. Will see son this week. Our neighbor brought over a bunch of lobster so husband has been in his glory eating it. I love lobster but can only eat a bit at a time.
I know I have missed so many people but I am with you all.
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Candy678- I agree that was an insensitive statement. I catch myself wondering if I don't talk about my illness too much to other people but I don't apologize for that. I figure this is one of the major things in our lives, it's natural to talk about it for most of us. Other than it being a disease, is it any different than talking about any other topic? It's human to talk about the issues that are most present for us, whatever that may be. Sounds like the issue might be with him.
I got in to see the neurosurgeon tomorrow as they had a sudden cancellation. I am working tomorrow and Wednesday so I am going to have to see if someone can cover me for an hour. Fortunately work is just across the street and down one block from his office so I can walk there and back. It's not my favorite idea to try and squeeze this into a work shift but I will figure it out.
Goodnight to everyone. I hope you all get restful sleep.
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Kitty - glad your brain swelling has gone down! Also - how come your winter looks better than our summer up here? :P What a lovely view from that room. My last hospital room had a view of an HVAC unit, the testing labs (they may have been flashed once or twice by me accidentally), and some victorian plumbing down the sides of buildings.
Candy - thats disappointing to read yet another person in your life responding that way. However, with 11 years on Arimidex alone (lucky person!) perhaps she and the husband have both figured MBC is 'no big deal' when its all about to get really real, real quick. Give them space and be available later if she wants to talk about things.
Took first hit of Xeloda last night after a marathon day at the hospital. It is never EVER straightforward - just when I think hey, today may be a good day! the train breaks down part of the way home and oh lord what a mess. I had to pole it over to a bus stop a half mile away and cram on with the rest of the train people and the school run crowd. The only person who even offered their seat was an old man who was bent over and I said absolutely not, I am fine to stand (its more work for me to sit down and get back up than to just stand). Its hot, humid, and no air conditioning. Hubs walked over to get me from the stop and I just broke down wailing in the middle of the street. The train signaling failed last Wednesday when we were in the city for something, and it broke down last Saturday as well. I dont know whats going on down there but I wish they would just fix it for good!
At least I have nowhere to be for the next two weeks until I have check in with oncology again. And my flowers and basil are starting to poke up through the dirt!
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Sondra, I hope your signal is fixed soon. Excited to hear about your flowers and basil coming through, exciting for you.
I did go to bed as I told myself by 1030 pm. Slept deeply other than occasionally hearing the song Dare to be Stupid by weird Al, the subconscious can be strange.
Gave the cats their food, had so water and put shoes on right away. Walked 20 mins around the block. I am sure I will feel the better for it. Now I can do up some chores and likely go to the store, almost out of english muffins, deciding if I want the mall for a bit of walking or grocery store which does involve walking anyway, will find out.
Decided to order an egg mcmuffin from Mcdonalds and make my own hashbrowns to go with, I enjoy the egg mcmuffins and plan another shorter walk. PT not done yet but will be after I get back. Cheaper without the store bought and I like mine better plus I use money on grocery savings too. I plan to go around the short block again, my energy is pretty good and taking advantage of it.
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Thank you, ladies. You rock. You truly "get it".
I DO think I talk about my illnesses too much to the people around me, but, as emac mentioned, it is a major thing in my life. And her comment about "other than it being a disease, is it any different than talking about any other topic". So true. My sister is a teacher, a very dedicated teacher, and she talks about her students all the time. My previous "texting friend" was a car guy, and talked about old cars all the time. What is the difference? I do talk about the books I am reading, or a movie I saw, so I am not only fixated on my health issues, but they are a big part of my life.
I think I have a hip replacement in my future. The osteoarthritis is "severe" on the scans. My Palliative Care doc said it is "impressive" for someone my age. In medical terms "impressive" is not good. Rather it means very bad. My ortho commented "terrible, terrible" when she looked at the x-ray images.
So now I may be talking about pending hip surgery PLUS my cancer talk. My friends will really be happy with me. Hahaha.
As far as my MBC friend, I will just let her know I am available if/when she needs me. As mara said, maybe invite her over to my house (not with her husband) for some girl talk.
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Candy That was truly a thoughtless comment, my feelings would have been hurt also. I am continually baffled by some comments people make. Some people just don't think before they speak and it sounds like she is one on them! We are always here for you and I agree it's just natural to speak with people who share an experience. Hugs
emac Good luck at the neurosurgeon, hope you get some answers soon. Ugh the juggling that was one of the things that helped me make the decision to stop working. Somehow it all works out, hope it goes smoothly for ya.
livinglife Sorry you didn't get to see you son, very disappointing. Hope you do get to see him this week. Dinner sounded delicious!
sondraf Sounded like a rough day, hope today is a better one!
Mara Glad you got a good night sleep. Lol the subconscious song, too funny! Weird Al was a interesting character….
Kitty Thinking of you, glad to hear swelling is going down.
cm2020 Happy to hear you had a nice bday with your daughter. We're always so grateful to be able to celebrate with family.
Shanagirl Hey there, hope you're having a good week. Getting humid over here and cloudy day today hope to get a little rain this week. Everyone's lawn looking like straw lol.
Waving hello to Mel, Irish, Tanya, Mae, RK, sunshine an any beautiful lady I missed. Still thinking and praying for ya Sadie/Pat💕
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Candy, you hit the nail on the head, we talk about things that are a big part of life, for us it is cancer but there is other stuff we talk about too. My DB and SIL don't really want or need to hear about my stuff all the time but I forgive it due to all their help setting me up among many other things. I tell them about scan results and that is it. My cancer slips out if someone mentions they have cancer as well. Fact of life for us, people can spare an ear for us.
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Candy, sending you virtual hugs for having to put up with other people's judgment. I, too, really like how emac put it, it's something going on in our lives so naturally we're going to talk about it!
Emac, hope your appt with the neurosurgeon goes well. Hoping for some pain relief for you.
Sondra, what a day! You're just trying to get home! I would be crying in the street, too.
Mara, hope whatever that weird feeling was is gone for you now. Glad you reached out.
Thinking of Kittykat. Love to everyone, as always. Happy to talk about cancer ANYTIME 😉
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I also feel the need to monitor my cancer talk with my friends. But I just spent three days with a friend on a Canada road trip and she asked a lot of questions. So it kind of dominated the conversation. She said that it’s ok, it seem that she really wants to know. But sometimes I get sick of hearing my story so much.
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Im checking in and reading through everything in the conversations. I want to jump in but honestly this evening I have a huge vail of extreme exhaustion and feel too tired to type anything. But I just want to comment once to @candy-678 💕. We all are overwhelmed with Stage IV cancer and it’s always there in our thoughts and mind all day. Just can’t escape this fact. Candy, I compare it to when I was pregnant with each one of my children. Not that cancer is the same as pregnancy, but the condition is what totally takes over our thoughts every single day. We are aware of it, think about it, live it and breathe it each day. It’s a human thing for a woman to live her cancer condition in her body and her mind, and I think your friend’s husband has not learned a single bit of compassion for your friend, his wife,who has lived with cancer. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it or acknowledge her progression and may be scapegoating you to her, not wanting her to talk to you, who has had the experience of living with this disease and it’s progression. I don’t think your friend was intentionally being thoughtless, but is probably so overwhelmed with being stable without progression for so long that her husband may have viewed it as she was no longer fighting cancer. It could have been a huge gut punch that he would have to face this fact after her being stable. She’s the one going through this progression and maybe he wants to accompany her and keep you out of it right now because of his own issues with this diagnosis. This is just my thoughts. I think she will need you to be there to talk to after her husband and sister begin to see the reality of her progression.💙
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I’m going to turn in early tonight, I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for an MRI of lower back. Onc wants to check my sacrum and tailbone😬. Sleep well all💗
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Candy, girl I'm angry (cleaned up the language) that she would share/say that to you. If that's what her husband thinks, she could have kept that to herself. I'm gonna wager she will contact you without him monitoring your talks. She may have gotten years of stable disease, but we aren't all so lucky. We are comrades in arms and you need to be heard. That's what support from friendships are all about. Humph!
Kitty, please know I have you on my prayer list. So hoping your MRI gave you much needed good news.
Hello all! Wishing happy birthday to family members and good wishes for a lovely and pain free springtime day. For those that are struggling, I'm sending my prayers for healing. You ladies are so very important to me. I thank each and every one of you for caring for each other and supporting our struggles and cheering our achievements.
Rec'd my first CT scan without IV (we limit contrast due to UTI's) results in my portal today. I was anxious as it's been over a week. I read an interesting Wash. Post article by an adult daughter of a parent with ovarian cancer, regarding scanxiety. She spoke of the pros and cons of reading and interpreting results ahead of time. She came down on the the side of it being a negative based on the fact that no one in the family could really agree if it was all good, partially good, all bad, partially bad, in plain words too many dissenting principles without medical backgrounds or support. In my case, I was nervous this first time and almost didn't open it, but decided to go ahead and read it hoping for the best and prepared for stable disease and praying it was not worse.
And it was a good improvement! All lung involvement was either interval decrease or mild interval decrease in lesions. Osseous metastasis, some appear more sclerotic likely in response to treatment. Interval decrease in size of metastatic lymphadenopathy.
Only one thing that I can't interpret and could use help on: Mild interval decrease in size of right large pleural-based diaphragmatic mass with mass effect on the liver measuring 5.0 x 3.2 cm (prev. 4.5 x 5.2 cm. My question is what does the mass effect on the liver mean?? I have not heard any thing related to metasisis in the liver. I do have numerous benign hepatic cysts and kidney cysts, which the report lists separately.
Laurel
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Candy~who the heck knows why people act the way they do when cancer and sickness is involved. That husband is just plain a fool you would think he would want her to have support. Don’t you change your ways of friendship. Just change him being around if you can.
kitty. Thinking of you. Sadie. Thinking of you too. Good to see you Sfcakes.
I hope they find that little submarine. How scary that would be. So crazy. Everyone else i send my love. Gonna try to sleep.0 -
Mel - that sub drama is all everyone is talking about at work lol. The permutations of what likely happened are crazy to think about, but I saw a post somewhere else that there is a high potential they are bobbing about just below the surface. If they make it out of this I bet they stick a beacon on that thing post haste.
My new lightweight shoes arrived! I tried out some Hey Dudes and they are FAB - super light weight, super cute colors, memory foam insert, easy to wash and SLIP ON. Give them a look as a Sketchers alternative.
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just bought hey dudes for my son lol.
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Irishlove—- Congrats on what sounds like a good scan result. Sorry I cannot help you interpret the "mass" thing.
Everyone—- 😀👍️❤️🌺 And any other appropriate emojis.
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