My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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I slept like the dead after Herceptin last night. Initially I was annoyed to wake up at 5 until I realized I went to bed by 900pm. Little bit tired and got my usual Herceptin runny nose. Staying home unless DB takes me shopping and if he does, not sure what I want to buy. Used survey money to pay for my youtube Laundry and housework being done, bits of PT and marching through the day as well for a few minutes at a time. We will see.
Foodwise, I am going to focus on budget dishes that still taste good and have nutrition.
Had to walk on the uneven sidewalk both on way to van and on way home. Niece helped me bring in my groceries. Talked my way over the big hills up and down. Closest I came to an issue was going over the plastic piping in front of the apartment. Did pretty well all things considered. Hoping they get done before winter. Got bagged salad and fritos to riff on taco salad. Got couple of meat pies as well. Walked through Costco, spent more at grocery store but that is fine.
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Shots day today, the Faslodex in each butt cheek and goserelin in the belly. Doc said to celebrate the scans that were stable. I went for a walk with a friend and then crawled around in the garden salvaging some little tomatillos. I will make some salsa tomorrow maybe if I'm not too trashed from shots. Hubby came home and we both dusted ourselves off and went out for BBQ and beer. A nice evening despite it all and I wish you all the same.
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I can't remember who will be in Seattle, but we have light rail from the airport and an excellent city bus system, so don't feel trapped anywhere.
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Wren44 - Have to chime in here about the bus and light rail service. I can no longer get a local bus downtown! There used to be 3 or 4 I could take. They have added new "local" bus routes that only take you to the light rail. I don't think that works well for the sick, elderly, parents with strollers, kids, etc. No more going straight downtown if you are anywhere near a light rail station; the bus will only take you to the light rail station. A friend of mine has the same problem in her neighborhood and doesn't like it at all. I had always thought the light rail was going to be an "addition" to our transportation options and be there as an alternative ( a good and much needed one). However, they are now just forcing everyone onto the light rail whether they want to go or not, and it essentially requires a transfer - no more just getting a nice comfortable seat on a bus and enjoying a ride to downtown. Might have to stand the whole way or sit in those hard plastic seats where you're forced to stare directly across at people you don't know or necessarily care to know. The light rail is great to and from the airport and I've had good experiences on it, but the fact that they are taking away all the neighborhood to downtown busses to support it, is not a good thing at all. They are having trouble getting people "back downtown" and I think the lack of direct bus routes is now adding to that problem. Takes all the pleasure out of just spending a day downtown.
(My morning coffee rant, thanks for "listening" - wink.)
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@threetree , that’s annoying! What part of town do you live in?
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Sorry to hear about the light rail woes, I don't miss sitting in plastic seats like the old school buses we had back in the day. I remember there were times I had to anchor my feet to avoid sliding down.
So did some shopping last night, got a caesar salad bagged salad to have, going to use up more quickly. Should get a couple more salads out of them. OMG, their caesar dressing was so good and came with good seasoning as well with a little bag of parmesan cheese, I will definitely get it again. I ate it with beans and corn that I microwaved til they popped as I don't enjoy a chewy bean, texture bothers me. Will have more beans alongside eggs later with crushed fritos at some point. Tomorrow will pick up peanut butter as I forgot it, construction vehicles will not be out and safer to walk on road.which is actually safer for me than the non sidewalks.
Hope everyone has a good day, in pockets as always kissing furry babies of all members and sending support as always.
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mara, I like the bagged salads. I've taken some and added beans and stuff to make a taco salad. Adding Fritos or Doritos is yummy, too.
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AJ - I'm up north. I used to actually sometimes get a really nice commuter bus (Sound Transit) from Woodinville that would come by here before it would get on the freeway down in Roosevelt. It was somewhere between a typical Seattle Metro bus and a Greyhound. It had nice comfortable well upholstered seats, foot rests, and reading lights. Went all the way down by the stadiums via the main part of downtown, etc. Not anymore. That bus drops it's Woodinville commuters off at the Roosevelt light rail now. If I was one of those Woodinville commuters, I'd be furious and probably start driving myself downtown - something they really don't want us doing when there's public transportation, but … My friend lives over near U Village and she says all local busses now will take her to either the Husky Stadium or U District light rail stations only - nothing all the way downtown. Also, I think for those in places like Blue Ridge, Ballard, Queen Anne Magnolia and West Seattle (maybe even Madison Park?) right now the local busses still go straight downtown, but watch out, as soon as they build a spur to the light rail near those neighborhoods, they will likely just start "dumping" people at the light rail station. I also think that right around the immediate downtown area all the routine busses still take people everywhere as they have traditionally, like up to Capitol Hill, the waterfront, and all that, but for those out in the farther lying residential areas, it's not so good.
I remember visiting Philadelphia way back in the mid 70's and had my first experiences with light rail. I was with a friend and we always got a ride to the station from the people we were staying with and I realized then, that although light rail is great to have, most people have to drive and park or get a ride to those stations. Fortunately in Philadelphia, at that time at least, they still had neighborhood busses that could take you from your urban residential or suburban neighborhood to downtown. What cities need are both options.
Mara - Really appreciate your sympathies from afar! Also, there is nothing like a good Caesar salad with great dressing. Not always easy to find, but when you do - yum!
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I am from the suburbs of Philadelphia! We don’t have buses up here. I kinda hope we don’t. They stink and attract traffic. I am a country girl at heart. I grew up on 2.9 acres. And had a pool and a horse. I miss those days. I miss being cancer free. Miss who I was and mY old life. Cancer wrecks everything. Hope all is ok with everyone today. I’m thinking of you all.
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Mel - Really enjoyed and remember that time I spent in Philadelphia (about 2 months I think; stayed in Ardmore). I also get your concern with busses. Transportation is just a big mess. The cars are problematic, but so are the busses, and other modes. I don't know what the answer is. Sounds like you had a real nice place to grow up - I would have loved that too. I also understand the longing for the old days, whether it be about cancer, less traffic or whatever. I get really nostalgic myself and want the old days and my old self back. I feel like ever since cancer, people who meet me, don't know the real me and I just hate it, and all the while everything (like transportation) around me is changing or going away, and it's like nothing really feels familiar and comforting anymore. Not my self, not my surroundings.
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I’d take buses and light rail everywhere if it was fast and convenient. Not a big fan of driving. I live in West Seattle and we have a good bus line to downtown. There’s supposed to be a light rail extension some day but I doubt I’ll be around to see it.
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@irishlove I am very happy you have had a good result with the Ativan. I have my prescription for several years. I no longer have panic attacks anymore. I do get anxious once in awhile, and I’m glad to have my script available if I need it. Like next week I will definitely take it before getting on the plane for Florida.😉
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My dad is moving to Seattle. He's 91 and is not sure if he should take his car, sell it here, or just what. I have a sister up there who can drive him, and the building he's moving into has shuttle services to local shopping (Trader Joe's, etc.) so he may not even need a car. We shall see.
mel, I grew up on 3.5 acres with horses, but no pool. It was a good life. Lots of trees - live oak, eucalyptus, and buckeye. Good memories…
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How I would love to go back there. I lived there till I was 21. Seems like forever. I loved the horses. We’d ride all the time.
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Good evening everyone. Looking forward to the beginning of October and cooler weather. Hopeful that the hurricane season will not affect anymore folks this season. In pockets for all that are in need.
I've been watching MetaVivor series and have learned so much from long term survivors. One gal that lives in VA is a 25 year survivor. Great stories of hope and resilience, but also honesty in dealing with all things b.c. All spoke of the need to have "your tribe" for support. Well, IMHO, it doesn't get any better than this incredible group of folks.
@Mara One of the speakers was a gal named Tracy (from Texas) and she is a 23 yr. survivor after mets to bones, liver and brain. I can assure you she is as sharp as a tack. Actually all the speakers were, but she stands out as she mentioned brain mets. She does advocacy work for breast cancer patients.
MO appt. Monday. No a lot to talk about, no improvement in hearing, slight improvement in mental health and the spinal tap report. No treatment Monday. I guess I'm going to have to adjust to a lesser quality of life than I had hoped for. No travel, going out much or shopping. Fortunately I love my library and read about 6 newspapers." I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am a rock, I am an island." Thanks you Simon and Garfunkel.
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Sunshine, I really enjoyed the bagged salad, only trouble was lettuce had started to turn brown by today, may get again but eat it throughout a day.
Irishlove, I will take a look at that. Part of me thinks that will happen for me, we will see. Still not convinced anything is wrong brain wise but the fact I stopped really walking regularly when I fell and broke cheekbone a year or so ago. Tripped on the sidewalk. That created a great fear of walking and two falls on icy conditions that winter, not injured put fear in me too. Have to move on from that and not listen to my fear or the fears of DB or SIL of me walking through the construction machines. They are on both sides of the street. I do walk on side of road as it is less hilly than what used to be our sidewalk. I did not like walking that last Thursday's shop. I do need to get out of house sometimes and it will be a long while before that is done.
I am doing laundry and couple of money making offers, irritated that I got not back from bank telling me bill was not paid but could not tell me which one. I will contact them later.
Had a large breakfast, chopped up black beans, corn and wheatbran first, made the beef texture. Added an egg, heated through in frypan. Added bit of garlic and used up rest of the salad mix, some lettuce little past its prime, some left over parm shreds, will buy those again, did put a few frito crumbles and tossed all together, pretty full but it really was not much food when I think about beans and corn. Full of fiber so not going anywhere for a while my meal there. Really was very good. Next meal will involve eggs and rice or pasta.
Going to check mailbox as I don't need to be pretty and can walk in the road as little traffic. I also mostly get flyers so until there is a way to dispose of them I will leave those in the box.
I hope everyone has a good day and pocket duty for anyone who needs it. I sometimes jump into my own pocket when I feel I need it.
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mel, I miss it, too. It was a good life. I did have a couple of bad accidents there - I fell out of a tree when I was 11 and broke my back. Then 5 months later, the day after I turned 12, I was thrown from my horse and fractured my arm, my cheekbone and they thought the bones behind my right eye. I ended up in Stanford Hospital for five days. The best part about that accident was NO PIANO LESSONS for six weeks. I still rode with a cast on my arm (when my mom wasn't looking.) Yes, those were really good days, and I was blessed.
mara, sometimes, it's hard to get through a bag of lettuce, but I tend to eat really big salads so that hasn't been a problem for me. DH loves his salads. I don't really "cook" for him. I just make sure there is plenty of stuff like
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Sunshine, I will keep the ingredients for a salad like the shred parm cheese or whatever and of course I love caesar dressing but veggies will be chopped up with beans and will include spinach.
Geez, what an up and down afternoon. I went to the community mailbox, walked on the road but made it there. Went to pull out the key to open the mail but did not have my keys. Came back home, had a frustrated little boo session, at some peanut butter, was planning to give up but decided to find where the keys went, found them, zip tied them to my bag and went back. Passed a few people in the road, looking at me with pity but I did not need it, the road is not as scary as the non sidewalks, still lumpy and it has some little holes but I was laser focused on my feet. Only way I injured myself was when the screen door banged my hand. Got my mail, left flyers and letter to my mother wanting money in the mail, will check next week. Lifted my legs a lot and I think the ankle exercises help keep me up walking on this disaster. Both times, I paused as there is a hill and told myself to lift feet and go fast so I could be on the driveway and be safe. I just cannot keep staying in the house all the time, boring as hell.
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Mara I would love to do all the walking Iike you do. And there is no reason I can't except perhaps my depression! Then theres the heat. And a smoky summer. Right now traffic is detoured to my road. Too busy.no sidewalks.
I'm in a rural area like Mel was, I guess. We have 35 acres. 11 acres of woods and 7 acres of marshy wetland. Getting outdoors lifts my spirits hugely. But the woods is all steep hills that tractors couldn't work. And walking the road is also pretty steep so that's my other excuse. Sometimes I think to put our mailbox up the road a half mile. With new dr I'll be asking for adjustment to antidepressant.
A bit of extra anxiety now too. I'm waiting to hear about ultrasound of thyroid. Nodules 10 yrs ago but I feel something going on. Time for another look. My tumor markers were up the tiniest bit more than usual a week ago too. Always something.
Mara when is your road expected to be finished. Ours has just a few weeks left of detour.
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Mara - I love that you jump in your own pocket when needed. We need to remember to build (or shore) ourselves up from time to time. I had a quick note about your bag salads - if you stick a dry paper towel in the bag, and squeeze out the excess air before you seal it up, it should last a little longer. Change out the paper towel if it feels damp the next time you open it.
I've been reading along, but keeping quiet. Sharing everyone's joys, struggles, and worries, but too much to keep up with commenting. I'll blame it on scanxiety; it's hard for me to not to pull back from everything with that constant 'noise' in the background. I hope that makes sense.
I had scans the week before last, and amazingly had the report in my portal within a few days. There's the area of enhancement in my liver, and still no size measurements. SUV was lower than last scan, so I'm expecting (hoping) to hear 'wait and see another three months' at my appointment on Tuesday.
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GailMary, I don't know, there is a sign that says November, I will cross my fingers that is the case. The only benefit to walking on the uneven ground is that it reinforces my need for PT and the bridge pose in the morning to keep up leg and ankle strength. I have only had a couple of almost slips but nothing close to a fall. I just want the work done and life back to normal and get rid of the long pipe that is in front of all the houses. I would also like if paratransit can pick me up out front after the road is done
Seeq, I will give that a shot next time, I looked up thanks to you how to do it, I don't use paper towels but regular cloths which would do the same thing and then it said stick in the fridge. I also found a trick on youtube about using a trick to seal the bag, put the stuff in, flatten the bag with straw and suck out the air, going to try that next time.
Not really sure what I want to do today, laundry per usual, take garbage out. I am taking smaller bags due to the uneven ground, I have a big bag sitting in a bin at the back door, waiting for the construction to be largely finished. Feeling bit of sore throat but nothing else so could just be a dry throat now that humidity is dropping here, took some buckleys cough suppressant last night and will take more expectorant today.
I am thinking I want to make a combo breakfast using some rotini pasta, egg mixed with some beans, veg and spinach chopped in wheat bran. Will either be mexican inspired or something else, egg will be mixed in with chopped ingredients and mixed. Seasoning TBD.
I hope everyone has a good day, pockets for anyone who needs me, getting in my own pocket to completely finish the laundry, though I do it everyday, it is a small washer, have to do many loads. Been lucky with this portable, has lasted far longer than any other, going to restart wand washing as well for the clothes as well, double up on what I am cleaning and it should get it all done much faster.
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Hello ladies. Just checking in with good vibes. Hoping you’re doing well today! Many hugs for all. And pocket duty as needed
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I've decided to post how I manage to get things done when most days I have no energy, barely enough to do PT and walking. Trying to get more treadmill throughout day, 5 mins at a time. Short bursts of exercise work well going throughout. Just as much benefit. I also listen to music as well when the TV is tied up with my money making videos, watch dog videos, get paid when ads play. I can watch youtube on computer etc. I also do one PT at a time, I see as the same benefit throughout day. I prioritize PT vs the cardio as the PT is the one to keep me on my feet when walking and my legs are still fairly strong for regular walking. I don't have a goal of walking without a cane because it works well on its own.
When it comes to housework, I will do a basic dust with a big duster in living room, sit down. Same duster pulls out the cat fur and I use a cordless hand vac to pick it up. In short do what I can, sit all I want but do short activities. I also like the Bellows breath, breathing rapidly through nose as long as you can for a quick jolt of energy. Only if you can but do not do it before bed as this is like drinking coffee.
Lastly, looking up bed yoga to do when I wake, the bridge pose has replaced squats as same muscles are used. Working on wall pushups and chair pushups just using arms to lift body off chair whilst sitting in it. Not trying to left bum out of it, this is fully seated as not interested in falling. Leslie Sansone is a good one to do as well for a march, do her 2 min or 3 min short walks if sitting down earning money on phones. Lots to do. Again, I like short bursts of exercise. The days of walking to the mall are temporarily gone but will likely be gone until construction is done and I can train outside. Going 10 mins one way turn back and come home. Will not be done in winter or heat of summer. I do miss my long walks.
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Hi Everyone. I’m just checking in to say hi and send positive caring thoughts to you all. Praying that God watch’s over you all in your daily struggles with this disease. Whether physical or emotional. Love you all. I won’t be posting much after today. I’m packin and getting ready for our trip to Ft Myers, Fla. to be with family. Last night I took my last Verzenio, until Oct 10. So glad I’ve been really having bad SE’s with it all month. I want to feel good while I’m down there and not have to be dealing with nausea & diarrhea.So I happily took my last Verzenio last night and of course by 11:30 this morning, terrible stomach aches and bathroom visits the Imodium. So I’ll have today tomorrow no chemo pills and Wednesday I will be fine to get on the plane with no Big D problems. I’m hoping the exhaustion gets better too. So I will check in and read but little posting.💙💗
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Pocket duty for anyone who needs it.
I've got jackhammers going on the front and back patios right now at our desert house. Man, it's loud! The whole house is shaking. They should be finished quickly with this part of the job. It's almost comical. DH is trying to work out here. Had a Teams meeting this morning. He wants to be here for the demolition and then the beginning of laying the new pavers.
Too noisy to think…
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I just realized this is kind of like an MRI! haha
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Sunshine, an MRI at your house! Ack! Lol.
Have a lovely trip, Shanagirl, hopefully your tummy will calm down so you can enjoy it.
MKestrel, barbecue and a beer sounds lovely. I stopped drinking alcohol but recently had a non-alcoholic beer that was pretty tasty!
Thinking of you, Emac. Are you thinking of stopping the taxol? Damn, these are such difficult decisions.
Mae, I watched Jaws the other night again, and I seem to recall you went to an outdoor screening of that fabulously scary movie... while you were in the water? (*shudders*)
Mara, I like the bits of exercise at a time, that seems to work best for me, reminding myself that it all matters and I don't have to do some kind of Jane Fonda aerobics for an hour.
Mel, sending love your way. I grew up in the woods and sometimes look around and think, how did I end up in the city? Then remember, oh right, I met a guy...
Having a junk hauling company come to remove some old stuff and, well, junk, from the garage. Held up several small items and asked, "what IS this?" Am sure my husband would've known, and hopefully he won't be mad at me for throwing out things that I am pretty sure I have no use for.
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Hello to everyone, no major news, just wanted to give well wishes and hope everyone is having a good start to the week. I'm doing okay today. I got out for a few errands and bought a Powerball ticket because, why not? SF-cakes yes, I am continuing on Taxol. My last infusion is October 26th. I had to go in today for more fluids and potassium replacements and then treated myself to curly fries and a diet coke afterwards. It seemed silly to quit with only 4 infusions left. I have developed some pretty significant numbness in my fingers and feet so my dose was reduced by 25%. This summer/fall has probably been one of the longest in my life. So now November is locked in view as a new start and I think things will be better. There's the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Waving hello to everyone. Hope you are having a good day and a better tomorrow. @shanagirl Hope you have a wonderful gathering. @emac877 Thinking of you as you finish up your treatments.
Rough day today. Saw MO, he is leaving. No one has been hired to replace him. A Nurse Pract. will be filling in until??? He covered my spinal tap, nothing concerning. The one item I asked about, is inflammation. I'm kinda convinced I'm in a severe MS flare, despite neuro saying depression. No doubt I'm depressed, but my body is in a great deal of pain.
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