My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Intolight, sending you love and hugs. It's hard feeling down when you'd like to be up and enjoying the Christmas festivities.
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Shanagirl, great news on stable scans! Hurrah!
Threetree, waiting for results is so stressful, especially when you have partial results, waiting for the rest to explain. I had a bone scan come back in January indicating increased uptake in my vertebrae, "suspicious for metastatic", then the CT two days later that said, nope, no new cancer, but you do have a new fracture at that vertebrae, which is why the increased uptake. I've decided to not read one scan without the other anymore, although that's easier said than done.
Mara, I am with you that if you need to fight those property managers/owners, having legal aid on your side will back them down. Hopefully you won't have to do all that.
Sunshine, maybe you can still do the radiation before the end of the year? Hoping they will contact you next week.
Emac, I'm sending good energy your way that you will be able to go to the RS concert in May! I was considering splurging and seeing U2 at the new Sphere venue, but I saw some videos posted online by people at the concert, and I think I would get seasick. It's too trippy for me!
Candy, I really hope you have a light case of covid, and the paxlovid is helpful for you.
Chicagoan, what a great photo of you!
MKestrel, and great photos of those beautiful snowy deer!
Mel, your words about loss always move me. This is such a hard road we're all on. I'm grateful to be able to come here and read, and tear up, and chuckle. Thank you for creating this space, Mel.
Love to Intolight, Irish, Cookie, Goldens, Gailmary, Mae, and I'm sure I missed someone but you're in my heart! Just not in my foggy brain by name at this particular moment.
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Lost my other post which is fine, too wordy.
Chicagoan that did looklike a fun picture, enjoy yourself for sure.
Candy, in your pocket and really sorry to hear you have COVID, hope it passes fast.
I am having a sort of lazy day which is fine. Laundry and regular chores of course, earning money.
I also am feeling fine about the prop manager as I realized they have wanted me out since buying the building, want to redo apt and rent for more, answer is always no, continue paying rent though of course, not worried otherwise.
I bought a lot of salad. One of them had soggy leaves, had not noticed. I made a hardboiled egg, 1 chicken mcnugget and a piece of cheeseburger along with 1/4 blackbeans. Chopped it up with wheatbran and heated in microwave. Grabbed handful of of the salad put on top and used asian toppings that came with the salad, caesar dressing. Was not actually much food but very filling and good. I will use up the lettuce by putting it on a piece of the naaan bread I got and covering with shred cheese. May chop up mcnuggets as I need to use them up.
In pockets for all who needme and hope all have a good day.
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mara, how do you eat just ONE chicken mcnugget. Haven't had one in forever, but I don't think I could stop at just one! I'm impressed!
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Sunshine99 - I was thinking the same thing. No way I could stop with one chicken nugget! Kudos to Mara, your creativity is inspiring.
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sf-cakes - Interesting about your fractured vertebrae and the uptake. Thank you very much for the input. It makes me continue to wonder if they count a fracture as "progression" or just as an unfortunate side effect of the bone loss from anti-estrogen drugs, osteoarthritis, etc. I don't know if that is the same thing as cancer spread necessarily. Like you said, I should probably just wait on the chest CT and look at them all together, but I just can't stop myself from being scared that something is terribly wrong this time. We've had nothing but steady rain here in the Pacific Northwest for a good solid week (the "Pineapple Express" as we call it), and it is really affecting my joints, bones, and muscles - not to mention, my mood. I'm beginning to wonder if this extra worried freak out isn't because of the weather. I ache and hurt all over and am in a mental funk, so maybe that's why I'm so afraid of progression. I usually don't get quite this worried about it all.
Intolight - I am just so sorry about your situation with the UTI, fatigue, etc. There is nothing worse than hurting all over, feeling fatigued and not being able to do what you normally would at this time of year. I'm in a similar situation, but for different reasons, although they did test me for a UTI. When I read about your situation I just thought, "Oh no, I can't imagine anyone else being "cursed" with this sort of thing right now", but there you were. I really hope you feel better soon - there's still a good bit of time before Christmas, so there's more out there still to enjoy, as you get to feeling better.
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Hi, hello, mighty good to "see" you'all. Leading a cheer (from my fav chair) that scans are stable, UTI's go away, nausea and diarrhea clear up, and in pockets for all. I do believe that mental health is at least half the battle of b.c. Neuro started me on Zoloft, which helps me tremendously. The meds took about 6 weeks to take full effect. For sleep, GP started me on Lorazapam aka as Ativan. It works very well with Gaba 300. Only drawback is I am in bed 11 hours. But I do have to use bedside commode a few times, so sleep about 8 hrs.
Weather wise, worried about so many, especially in Tenn. with tornado outbreak. Looks like this will turn into a huge storm affecting so many people in eastern and northeastern areas tomorrow. Please stay warm, stay safe and have those generators ready to go.
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Threetree, my oncologist was clear that the fracture was not progression, she did not change my meds, but the fracture was basically a side effect of cancer - we had found a tumor in that vertebrae, hit it hard with two sessions of laser-targeted SBRT radiation, which was very effective... but it left that vertebrae weakened. When my husband was at the end of his life, I was trying to help him stand/walk, and that was far too much weight for that vertebrae to handle, hence it fractured. I've had a vertebroplasty procedure since then which helped a lot.
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sf-cakes - Thanks again. So good to know that your fracture did not count as progression. That helps ease my anxiety a bit. I don't want to have to switch meds at all. I have 2 fractured vertebrae that can be a real problem, and I was hoping that something like a vertebroplasty would help (I'd read about them). I was referred to a neurosurgeon and he said it wouldn't help me and told me about spinal fusion, but it sounded like a pretty serious deal, and I wasn't so sure my vertebrae were that bad. He then said they only recommend it if the pain is literally intolerable, because it can have so many complications, so we mutually decided it wasn't for me. I'm very glad to hear that the vertebroplasty was an option for you and that it helped. That would have been so hard when you were trying to help your husband at that point in his life. That's the kind of stuff I just hate about cancer! (It's occurred to me that in San Francisco, you probably got a lot of this rain this week too. It usually hits us all up the coast here when this happens.)
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threetree, My scan showed "numerous healing rib fractures" and it didn't count as progression. It did cause me to take Zometa. Currently I'm on a Zometa break to see if my kidney numbers improve.
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Wren44 - Thanks very much! When I was diagnosed last January with stage 4, they saw rib fractures, vertebral fractures and then a couple weeks later, I fractured my sternum. Once I started on the Verzenio and Fulvestrant (April and May of last spring), those started to heal and show like yours do on scans. Now I have 2 new rib fractures and I started Zometa in the middle of last November. That Zometa is awful and I'm going to have to think long and hard before getting the next infusion. Looks like I still need to wait for the chest CT to say if all those old fractures (and the new ones) are still healing. This is all jut so frustrating! I'm real sorry that the Zometa seems to be doing a number on your kidneys. I read that that is one of it's worst side effects, along with the jaw necrosis and thigh fractures, etc. I think you are the first person I've been aware of who got kidney problems from it. How long have you been on it? How long is your break?
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threetree, I'm sorry Zometa was so hard on you. My first two infusions (monthly) were the hardest, and after that they were much easier. I felt flu-like the first two times. Someone recommended taking Claritin (sp?) before the infusion and that may have helped. I now get my infusions quarterly and have no problems with them. I'm hoping it gets easier for you. I don't know why the first few are so hard.
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The reason I was eating one chicken nugget was that they were part of a meal. Combining with eggs, beans or rice whatever I was using. The only reason I had them was an error in an order, extra order. Still working on cheeseburgers I got friday. Not sure what to do yet.
Happy to have been able to secure a Paratransit ride for my Wednesday MO app't. Had to wait 60 mins for line to open up from being busy then another 10 mins but that is fine. I have decided that hospital trips will be prioritized for me and take regular bus off peak for free. Reason for that is I imagine a lot of people will need trips to see family and I feel like I should let them take the trips for the holidays.
I am looking into extra frugality going into the new year as costs go up. Luckily, a lot of what I eat is inexpensive, I've cut back on streaming, I have prime video and youtube and 3 other free options. I also am planning more money making online, what I have is OK but need to be less lazy about it, more actual surveys, not just the mobile games and watch TV ads. Those can save me on extra groceries as well.
I did have a HUGE salad this morning with taco strips, it came with a lot of cabbage, sticking to the cabbage vs lettuce, survives longer. I have one that got quite damp quickly. Going to use on a piece with naan bread, put the lettuce and chopped beans and cover with cheese. Did this last night and it was very good. Naan bread staying on the menu.
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Hello ladies~ it’s a rainy Sunday here. Good day for a nap. Had a nice weekend, saw some old friends. Was up too late. Paying for it today with my spine! I’m thinking about everyone. I’ve been so wrapped up with dealing with my mother I haven’t had time to do anything else. Lots of phone calls, I have to have arrangements made to empty out her house. I need to have someone from my family there to over see it. My step father isn’t able to understand what is fully going on. It’s been rough. But I read along and sorry about us all. Sending love and hugs.
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Looks like the property manager is not the only one trying to get people out. Tigger is just realizing that Ava is trying to push him off my lap. Worked out for her.
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Mel - Just so very sorry about what you're going through with your mother. I've been there and it's just so, so hard. Sending good wishes and a hug.
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Mel, I can definitely empathize about your Mom too and emptying of a lot of stuff. It's a lot to deal with, I am glad you have enjoyed some company though and in your pocket as well.
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Those are beautiful cats Mara , I appreciate the sweet words l know I only get one mom.
thank you threetree, i appreciate it
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Hi everyone. In your corner and pockets for all your needs.
Awfully miserable day weather wise and body wise. Mara that is a cute picture. Your kitties are adorable. Booty is alongside me right now. She freaks out in stormy weather and will let me bring her inside. Mel, I'm sorry that you have so much heartache. Sending love and prayers for you, your Mama, and whole family. Glad you had a nice visit with friends and family. threetree, I hope you find a stable report from your MO. sf-cakes support and knowledge and helps all of us. Thank you for that info.
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threetree I also have rib fractures turn up on my CT Chest and was not progression. I hope your report appears tomorrow, it's rough. Hugs
Mel I'm sorry for all you are going through with your mom. Sending strength and hugs.
Mara Those kitties are beautiful and both want all your love…so sweet.
Sunshine Yea would have been nice to be able to squeeze rads in before the end of the year. I know I squeezed a couple appointments in purposely myself due to deductible reset.
Waving hello and sending warm hugs to all who need it especially in this holiday season.
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intothelight, thanks for the support. I'm still angry, but no longer boiling over. lol
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Mel - I’m so sorry about your mom. It must be so difficult, given the holiday season and your problems traveling.
And it seems like there is more struggling going on here with many. That just stinks on every level. It’s so hard to prepare for and enjoy the season when our disease wants to be front and center. I know all we want for Christmas is comfort and peace. It can’t be bought but I hope and pray it finds its way into our lives.1 -
Mel, I am still in your pocket with support with all you are dealing with over the holidays and the problems travelling. Big hugs your way.
Nothing decided as far as what I want to do today. Earning money of course and not sure from there, only got the TV ads for money going right now. Discovered youtube TV by accident yesterday on one of my streaming players. We don't have this in Canada but I have a VPN that lets me appear in the US to watch some programs and I was amazed how many shows and channels came up, sticking with the free stuff so far but it is crazy for sure, looking forward to using it. Doing laundry right now, got windows wide open. They must have changed the boiler for the heat because last few days, the building is feeling quite hot, just opened windows and sleep with a window fan. I might go to the mall for a walk, just trying to decide which one at this point. If not the mall then walk on treadmill after breakfast. I also discovered rudely what too much roughage in a huge bowl of salad does to one's digestive track, smaller portions are needed, that is for sure. I fixed myself up and am moving on.
I plan to hardboil an egg, chop with some wheat bran so it looks like beef, add some micro spinach, put it on a piece of naan bread with shredded cheese on top. Should be good to eat I think. Smaller portions are all that are needed for salad.
I hope everyone has a good day, pocket duty for all of us who need it as well too.
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I just got the strangest suggestion/question. I was asked if I had considered hydrogen peroxide oxygen therapy? Seriously? At first I thought this person meant hyperbaric chamber therapy, but then I Googled H2O2 therapy. Yikes! It's a real thing. And a scary thing! Not something I'll be doing anytime soon.
It wasn't anyone from BCO. It was a person from an Intermittent Fasting group.
Happy Monday! Hoping I hear from the RO today about getting started with radiation to my esophagus.
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Mel I’m glad you got to stay up late with friends. Sending hugs as you do all the things you have to do for your mom.
Candy I hope the Covid is a mild case and your medication makes it easy to handle. Speedy recovery healing for sure.
mara yeah the sale roughage is sometimes like that for me too. Very rude lol.
everyone struggling through appts and scananxiety sending hugs and support.
This is Rome waiting for my granddaughter to come home from school everyday.
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Sunshine~yikes. I wouldn’t either. !
tanya~ adorable cat. How sweet to wait every day after school. Animals are so special!
My daughter and I with Theo and Theo napping. Love to all! We have To Get our tree soon. Ugh! More work .
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@sunshine99 Thinking of you and may the radiation treat you gently and with great results. It's Christmas time, so gifts wished for all is good health this season. @micmel Oh that's a good photos of two lovely ladies and a little trouble maker. Ah, but he's so cute. @tanya_djamila What a sweet photo of Rome waiting for his little lady. Cats can sure imprint on their loved ones, despite what my DH thought. We had quite a few thru the years. @candy-678 Hope you are on the mend from Covid. Paxlovid helped me tremendously. @mara51506 I find it interesting how artistic you are not only with wonderful, healthy food receipes, but earning extra dollars, too. Hope you got to the Mall and landlord turned the heat down a bit, so you aren't dried out.
Went to MO visit today. Still temp M.O., but new M.O. starts soon, so last time I'll see him. I drug my DH in the room with me. M.O. was far more patient and gave me more time. He's not upset about the Pet Scan but did order MRI of brain..The report said higher uptake in parietal skull area and orbital wall. He pushed the new Ibrance order thru to Pfizer, since mine is expired and got a hold of financial aide to see what's going on with Pfizer Patient Assist. program. I rec'd a call late this afternoon everything is submitted. Fingers crossed for approval. Off Zometa for 2 months to get dental work (broken tooth) done starting tomorrow. M.O. said same efficacy between Zometa and Xgeva, so I've officially given up on Xgeva due to $500 co- pay, that Amgen will not help me with.
So today gave me some comfort, but just not feeling great. Did manage to vacuum, strip bedding and laundry and now watching Barry Manilow. He's still a great singer.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Laurel
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irishlove, in your pocket for the brain MRI for sure. Had a lot of those myself to look into things for me. The landlord has not turned the heat down, not sure how it is controlled tbh. I did get out yesterday. I am unsure what I will have went to bed late and woke up late. I get a lot of ideas from cheap eating on youtube. Based on income, I qualify for the food bank BUT it would not be fair to take stuff from people when I have resources that would allow me to buy stuff. I just enjoy being frugal with some basics. I will continue the salads but will store them with some cloths that would get changed out daily to absorb the moisture after a salad spin. Heat is fine, just opening windows, put window fan in bedroom to keep bedroom around 18, use more fans as well. Prop managers have not returned to try to make me leave, once the next apt reno is done, expecting them to come back and answer is always no but consider that a part of life now, no stress, just awareness.
Candy in your pocket for healing from COVID as well.
Mel, you and your daughter just look happy with Theo, he really is super cute ❤️
I am quite lazy today and I don't care, did my bridge pose and will do a couple more things. I felt happy yesterday and was trying to do the thriller dance from a chair, balance not good enough to stand but it was fun, did laughing yoga to bring up the mood as well. Getting some chores done, pacing myself, if I feel tired, no problem to sit down. Need to check mail today, preferably before kids get off school to avoid traffic.
Thinking I want a hardboiled egg on my naan, still covering with cheese, heat in little oven. Probably add salt, wheat bran to the hardboiled eggs as well as some chopped frozen spinach. Will spread some garlic spread on the naan, put the egg mixture and cheese on top. Naan is definitely becoming something I can use as well to hold ingredients. Yesterday, made pancake bread sort of thing containing rice, egg and cheese as well as some chopped veggies that I don't like too much but can hide the taste some. Biggest thing for me is to make sure I store my lettuce correctly by covering them in cloths, changing daily and they should last longer.
Facebook gave me this memory from a LONG time ago to share so will share too as I think it is quite funny. Mostly because this was the first year I read it in Morgan Freeman's voice. In pockets as needed and hope you all have a great day.
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Scans were all good. Echo was normal (EF 60%), CT body shows the healed bone met, nothing new and no concerns and the Brain MRI also showed nothing new. The “enhancement” is slightly bigger but still undetermined, so they’ve ordered an advanced MRI in March to hopefully figure out if it’s a tumor or not, either way it’s no big deal, been there, done that.
We’re making a few stops today and having lunch with a friend, then heading home tomorrow morning.
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@illimae Hooray for good scans! YAHOO! So happy for some good news around here.
I am feeling better this morning so far. I did get two boxes of gifts wrapped yesterday ready to mail off before I collapsed so some progress is being made. I plan on doing some cleaning today. I got "caught" moving the "Elf on the Shelf" last night by my DGD but she wants so badly to believe she decided I suprised them while they were moving and they froze and fell to an odd place until we were all asleep again (they were in different places on the kitchen table at the time.) So late last night I put them in a small, empty box and the note said "Shh, we are hiding from Nana." My DH said she laughted and loved it this morning when she found them. He gets her up and off to school when my daughter is still at work (she is a night-shift nurse.) So hopefully all is saved. My DGD is eight and I am sure this is her last year believing in the special magic.
In the meantime I am still stressed over what I can't do (stupid I know) but I will plug along. In your pocket for my lovely friends here.
This pic is how I roll in the mornings. Just me and Princess.
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