My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Micmel! So glad you are happy with the two boobs 😁👍 ouch on those veins though! That looks really painful! Take it easy and heal up, you’re going to feel so much better in about a month!!
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The pictures are awesome. Such an announcement for spring.
Micmel with the matching pair. It must look amazing in the mirror.
Your arms look like owwwwww
My port surgery is next Thursday and as per advisement I will be asleep during the procedure. Last onc appt double sticks for three tests. Ugh
I used to have veins but they’re all burnt out.
Heal up. Big hugs to your dog keeping you warm and missing you.
Lynne NH I am amazed that 18 came to dinner. You are a trooper 2 days after chemo they would be eating on paper plates from pot luck. Seriously they should’ve at least cooked for you since you hosted it. I would’ve beat my adult kids if they didn’t clean up after that kind of party. God give you patience and a goodly reward.
Tanya
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hi everyone, I realize the pain is worse today because I move more free range. Like a freaking chicken. This is up there with memorable painful surgeries and I have a very high pain tolerance. This is my 7 surgery in 8 years several big ones. I just can't believe I have two boobs. That's what I'm focusing on. See doc Thursday. They better come out I'm done in the playing field! Drains are just miserable!
Those Easter pictures are the thing I needed to see. Those precious babies hanging out with the Easter 🐣 bunny 🐰🐇🐰🥚🐇🐰🐰🐰So special. Lynne (Man) you're amazing wow! I would cry with that many. I don't even know how I'm going to get through this wedding.
I have been hookerbathing but my hair looks like Don Kings on a bad day!!
Waving hi to Gracie.❤️❤️ And thanks ladies for Even caring about me, some-of my family haven't even checked in at all. Maybe onetime since it was 13 hours long.
Chelle. My beautiful bestie. Thank you for speaking with DH and thank you for being the most special gift that I have been given through this cancer battle. I love you with my whole heart.
You ladies are special and I care about you all. I thought I read somewhere here that Minnie said she was new to this thread?? Honey Your stool my love has been around for a while now. When I feel better I want to go back and look, as long as I can remember we have had our crew. Together. So to me you've always been here !
Mae~ hope you're good. Keetmom. Hugs. Lynne (50's), Divine, Runor, Bigbhome, MJH, Magda, Dodgers,butterfly🦋, Bliss,blueshine, Grannax, Tanya precious woman, GP!! Lynnwood, southern, honey badger, iwrite...Holmes, Chicagoan....JFL...Janky....when I have more of a focused mind, I'll go back and really thank everyone. You're all truly like a sisterhoood I needed. Thank you very much! Much love ~M~
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Oh, I hate that black and blue. It will get better. I am hoping it does so fast,
Now you're going to have to really remember that you have TWO boobs and say it slowly, with great emphasis. "Hey there, check out my great BOOOOBBBZZZZZZZZZZ"
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Micmel, So sweet that your your baby boy missed you so much and won't leave your side. I'm sure he senses that you are not well at this time. The worst pain I've ever had in my life was the latisimus flap reconstruction! I was in the hospital for 5 days and there were about 30 stitches going down my back where they got the muscle. So I feel you pain sweetie. I wish I had gone with the tram flap procedure because my surgery has damaged me for life. My back hurts all the time where the latisamus muscle is missing. That arm is so weak I can't even carry my shoulder bag on that side. I'm praying for a speedy recovery and that with each day bring less pain! Oh yes and those damn drains......hate them!
Robin
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Robin~ Omg the pain is really bad. I agree. I don't even want to move. I have an incision from hip bone to hipbone literally. It hurts so badly. Getting up is not my friend. I realize that I am getting up more myself and pain will be the result. But I have to say ouch. I'll be really glad when this one is in the rear view mirror! My mister Deeohgee was howling and whining, he managed to wrangle his way next to me, in bed. He weighs 80lbs. Big doggie! Love him! 🐶
Runor~ when they are healed,I'm going to write a song about them.. I'm sorry your nurse office person lady was a dick.
I always laugh at the Medicare questions, do you feel sadness?, of course you idiot I have cancer.. do you feel like people would be better off without you? Not until now, gee thanks so much. Do you feel suicidal? Gee can I get back to you on that, after every time period of waiting for results ? Or every damn effing scan we are forced to have. Do you avoid people and crowds.? As much as I can. I can no longer hike for hours or kayak or river raft, so again cancer took care of that!! Any other questions, you feel the need to embarrass me with or make me feel worse again by constantly asking me you huge gonads!! The best is. Oh please rate your pain levels. Ok I never leave a base of 7 got it? So I had major surgery. Don't ask. Just hand me the medicines. NOW! One thing I will say. The nurses are amazing women. (And men) they are truly wonderful, the things they deal with .... not quite sure i could do that job! My hats off to all of you care takers. Seriously. Thank you!
Much love , goodnight ! ~M~
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The drains really are the worst! Mine wouldn’t stop, it took 5 1/2 weeks to get them all out and by the end, I was telling the surgeon that I’d rather do a few rounds of chemo, than keep those in for one more day. Sounds like you are doing very well though. To a speedy recovery 🥂
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You ok bigbhome, just tired?
Micmel, feeling better today?
Just had the spinal tap. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but I did cry (a lot) and cursed a little. My friend/work husband that recently left for another job donated his remaining sick leave hours to me, over 1,100 hours or 26 weeks. Such an awesome guy and nice to not worry about that stuff.
Heading to the cabin for a break after tomorrow’s neuro onc appointment.
Hi to everyone, happy Friday eve 😀
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Mae, What a generous man and wonderful friend you have. There are many kind, special people hiding in plain sight, and you are lucky to have one there for you. I suspect that you were not the first patient who cried and cursed for that team that performed the spinal tap. I am glad that procedure is over for you. Enjoy your trip to the cabin.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Mae, enjoy your weekend. Sounds like you deserve it. Micmel, I hope you are recovering. You are very brave! Hope everyone else is doing ok
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Micmel, you really are a trouper. Every day, your healing will be that much further along.
Mae, thats wonderful of your friend to donate sick leave to you!
My 89 year old widowed mother in law has been in and out, in and out & in and out of her place across the street from us, the hospital and the nursing home since last August when she had a heart attack. My relationship with her is complicated. She has relied on my husband (her baby) to look after her since he was a teenager while she places no demands on her three older children. It was my idea for her to move next to us 3 years ago as upkeep on her house in the country was driving dh into an early grave. It's been disruptive on and off since her move, but we must deal with it. Since her heart attack, dh has been so convinced numerous times that she is on her death bed and he gets so emotional and the continuous up and down drama is draining me. She is center stage in our lives and I can't seem to get a break from it. Dh's work schedule has been all over the map this year, too, and I feel always that I am trying to retain my equilibrium while lots of jumbled stuff goes on around me. I am emotionally weary.
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Good afternoon ladies
Mae I’m glad your spinal tap is over. So happy that your work friend donated all that time. Some people are incredibly kind.
Micmel sorry about the drains. They suck. So painful!
I hope your Dr appt goes well.
Robin that latisimus flap sounds God awful. Heed the warning ladies.
Tanya
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Mae, you are soooooo brave! When they approach me with anything bigger than a blood draw needle, I am a whimpering mess. I handle Mets pain well, but needle pain, not so much. I have turned into the world's biggest baby. Your work husband sounds awesome! What a wonderful man!
Divine, I wish I had great advice for you, but I am going through the same thing with my mil. You should feel blessed that she is right there though. Mine was a 2 1/2 hour drive from my house. I am actually there now. Again. We moved them to Jacksonville a few weeks ago and guess where I have been spending a lot of time. I so feel your pain! I wish we could just make it all go away. Your DH has a crazy schedule, mine was in a horrible accident and is constantly at the Dr or physical therapy for times a week. That's why I am here again! The estate sale starts tomorrow morning and my 2nd sil brought a bunch of stuff to our house, that I have the joy of returning here for the sale tomorrow. Oh, I forgot to mention the 2 greedy daughters of sfil, who want to take everything in the house. I have had the "pleasure" of throwing them out, calling the police and filling a report, reporting them to social worker and estate attorney. I, know, I know, we know how to have all the fun, don't we! I so feel your pain! Ativan had been my friend a few times! Or I would have lost it! Our dh's are kind, compassionate men, but someone needs to smack them? We should not be dealing with this! I have started to feel like a boxer who keeps getting knocked down, only to get back up, shaking head, wobbling on unsteady feet, only to be knocked down again. I'll help you get back up when you need it ok? This madness had to end soon! I am going to NC on the 22nd to watch my grandsons for ten days! That will renew my sanity! I love, love love those boys! I hope that you have something that brings an instant smile to your face. I'm sending you lots of hugs and prayers.
Claudia
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Bigb, ha ha, well,”blessed” is not necessarily the word I would use to describe having my mil living across the street! Lol! All kidding aside, tho, I hear what you are saying. It has made the caregiving simpler yet it has also been invasive. Mil has never taken advice or listened to anyone, doing as she pleases and then playing what I call the “little old lady card” when she is in trouble and needs bailed out. We’ve done it constantly throughout our marriage. I told dh it’s like having a kid who’s 30 years *older* than us! The woman never had a game plan, always flying by the seat of her pants. When she gets into a jam, her oldest daughter tosses out the “God will help her out”. Um, not to be blasphemous, but it’s dh and I who are helping her! But sil thinks its her “prayers” doing the heavy lifting.
Your situation sounds even more stressful than mine. I am sure your dh is extremely grateful for all your efforts. You are spread very thin, with him out of commission due to the accident and you are helping him recover and his mom who lives so far away. That’s quite a distance to travel! How did we end up in this situation?!? Yes, a good smack for these compassionate husbands of ours! Ha ha, maybe that would help. Dh has always rushed in to help his mom while his siblings turned a blind eye to any help she needed over the years. Amazing how selfish some people can be. I told dh we are not spray foam insulation, we do not have to grow and expand to cover every gap in her life. He’s always too eager yo jump in and save the day.
I so appreciate your sharing what you are dealing with when it comes to in-laws as I do not feel so all alone. It helps being able to vent and not be judged. I wish you all the best with the estate sale! Would love to hear your thoughts on how that goes.
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Micmel-How's is it going? Hope you are resting up and the pain is diminishing. Please check in when you can or we all will be "officially worried." We finally got my mom's house on the market on Monday and it went under contract yesterday. So, "fingers crossed" I think all our hard work on getting the house ready paid off.
God's blessings to all my MBC sisters today. We need a cure!
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Big B and Divine I don't know how you do it! Fortunately I do not have a mother in law to contend with and from what you guys are describing I feel blessed. I guess some of us were put on this earth to be care givers.
Mae- enjoy your trip:)
I wanted to know how all of you deal with holidays and anniversaries. It seems that since I found out in December about my diagnosis Holidays are not the same. I try to be happy and enjoy myself (determined to not let cancer steal anymore from me) but at some point all I can think about is whether I am going to be around next year to celebrate. Have any of you gone through these feelings? Do you have any advise?
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No Lepto mets! Looks like just some Gamma again which sucks but I’m happy for some good news.
Where are you micmel? Just a quick “I’m here and I’m ok” will do. 😀
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Mae congratulations on no mets!!!
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Mae, WOOHOO for no lepto mets! That is very good news.
Holmes, I think it is safe to say that we all had those feelings about holidays. I was diagnosed in June of 2015. I was convinced that I would not live to see Christmas that year. I "knew" that I would never survive long enough to see my new granddaughter walk. I even cleaned out my closet and dresser drawers and gave everything except a few outfits to charity so it would be easier for my family to clear things out when I was gone. I laugh about that now. I did have to do lots of shopping to slowly rebuild my wardrobe, btw. I started doing research on MBC and found BCO.org. Thank goodness for all the wonderful people on this site. They gave me hope and made me realize that I could very well be around for a long time. I changed my thinking. I decided to stop thinking about what MIGHT happen and tried to enjoy what IS happening. I try to find joy every day. I do make plans for the future including trips and famiky events. If they don't happen, well they just don't happen. Holidays have always been special to me. Each one is a unique experience, so I savor each one. There are many things in our lives that we cannot control. Sometimes we just have to let go of things and let life happen. Yes, I have MBC, but that is only part of my life. I refuse to allow it to control who I am.
Micmel, I hope you are doing okay. You don't want us to throw your own warning at you, do you? You know your "I know how to PM you" warning
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Mae, glad for your good news!
holmes, you are quite new to the diagnosis. I definitely had those thoughts about holidays and anniversaries at first. Allow yourself time to process everything. Its okay not to be perky and happy. Your perspective is changing, how you see life is changing. It can still be good, but it takes time to adjust to a new normal. 50sgirl gives great advice. Along with what she said, I will say that I frame this as living with mbc, not dying from it.
Another way I look at this: in 2010, the week I found the breast lump which I was soon to find out was stage iv bc, in our small town of 5,000 people, another woman with a teenage son same age as mine suffered a brain anyeurism and died. It was days before Christmas. And that same week, the lives of another couple in town in their 40s, with two daughters, one the same age as my son, tragically died by murder/suicide. Here I am, dealing with mbc but I do my best to stay mindful and present because it could be worse.
Also, I was prescribed a good antianxiety med to help with the fear I was feeling. Best wishes to you. Glad you found us!
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Mae, Woohoo! I did a happy dance for you! We take any good news we can get! Have a great weekend!
Holmes, 50's and Divine pretty much said it all! I'm still here, 6 years later. I don't think about it being my last, only my best!
Micmel, I know how to PM you and I'm not afraid to use it!
Divine, I swear our mils think alike! As do sil 2. They don't use the God excuse with me anymore because I come back with, God helps those who help themselves! Also, Mil no longer says God hasn't answered her prayers, because I come back with God always answers our prayers, it's just not always the answer we want! It is one thing to ask for God's help, it's quite another to use it as a crutch. The last time she told me that she was depressed, I told her that every morning she makes a choice, will she be happy or sad today. How she feels and what she makes of being in this place is all up to her. Some of it is finally sinking in. I'm not heartless, she got them in this situation, now deal with it. The first day of the estate sale was great! Only negative was people started knocking on the door at 6am! Workers showed up at 6:30 Ugh! No coffee either! But we did not have to call the police. People were very nice! We made a lot of money! Mil needs every penny! Soooooo many bad decisions over the last few years! Anyway, estate people came in, displayed and priced everything, then did all advertising, signage and handled all sales! I was just there to referred if things turned ugly with sfil kids. Well worth every penny! Magda, used a company called Caring Transition, I had contacted the one near mil only to find out that they were going through a rough time. The company I did find is great so it all worked out! Feel free to vent here as often as necessary, I totally get it. Oh, I forgot to mention that I fell at their house last night and hit my head. Really got my bell rang! So a lovely headache and neck ache today! I am home tonight and making DH handle the rest of the weekend. He has no physical therapy on weekends. Yay!!
Claudia
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Mae, so good to hear no lepto Mets! Now to have a great weekend! Your work husband is a wonderful friend!!!!
Bigbhome, I can see why you are running on empty! Hope you get some rest for yourself!
Micmel, where are you girlfriend? Just jump in and say hi
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Mae-So happy for your good news! I would have been yelling and crying during that spinal tap too! I pray I never have to have one! Enjoy your weekend!!
Bighome-I'm glad your estate sale went well. Sorry you fell and hit your head! OUCH! I hope your headache is gone! Glad your DH is handling the rest!
Holmes- Hugs! I felt the same as you when I was first diagnosed stage 1, 13 years ago. I just wanted to see my younger 2 kids graduate (our youngest was 9) high school. Holidays (which I loved) just seemed like work to me. I did it for the kids. I just did not enjoy life anymore. I was waiting for the cancer to return. Which it did, 7 years later, in 2012. Right after I turned 50. My youngest's senior year in high school. I asked my oncologist what the average life span was for Stage 4. She told me a year and a half. I too started cleaning out my closets and drawers, and stopped buying clothes. Holidays still were no fun for me, but I tried a little harder to enjoy them, since I figured, they may be my last. It's now been 6 years Stage 4, and yes, the holidays are better. I now have 3 grandchildren who help make them great too! I take one day at a time. Some are good, some bad, but everyone is a gift. I hope to be around a long time, to meet any future grandkids, and see my 3 single kids (one is married) get married some day. Just remember, we are living with cancer, not dying from!
Divine and Bighome-I love my mil! She's a sweetheart. 85 years old. It's my fil who is the pain (almost 86)! My husband is the youngest of 4 (he has 2 brothers and a sister), and he expects him to do everything for him, even though we live the furthest from him. He has to be the center of attention all the time! He's always complaining about all his health problems. I tell him that he's still here, and has almost 20 years more than my father had, or I tell him at least he doesn't have cancer! He drives me crazy! I used to bite my tongue, but I haven't since I became stage 4. He tells me that I'm mean to him. I tell him that I'm just telling it the way it is. He runs my mil ragged. She does everything for him. I pray that he passes away first, so she finally gets some time for herself!
Micmel-I'm pming you! This is certainly not like you at all!
It snowed here today. Just a dusting. I hope this is it. So done with winter.
Hugs to all!
Lynne
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micmel?
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Good evening ladies ~ My ass is officially kicked and I'm serious. I have never felt this much pain like I am with this surgery. It's unexplainable raw pain. I have been just being kept highly medicated and when I am not the Bayada nurses want me to do laps around the house for fear of resting blood clots. Which I get. Every time you have a surgery your entire system gets an interruption. I am finally resolving that as well. My nurse friend came over and bathed me and washed my hair. I am sure I smelled like something you would find in a pile of mess in a hording House. It was bothering even me, when I was done I slept for like 17 hours woke up and ate something. Ok a lot of things. I wanted a huge steak, which. Maybe I'll ask for tomorrow!! All I can do is sleep, it's exhausting, officially one week with my new friend. I have to say he did a great job. I am pleased. I just am forced to take one day at a time. I'm also realizing that soon I'll be back on the treatment again. Back to another layer of exhaustion. Thank you so much for caring you sweet beautiful ladies.
Mae~ so glad of your news. So very very glad
Bigbhome and divine. I am sending you thoughts of strength and patience. I get scared when I think of possibly being in your shoes dealing with MIL. Or even Mom stress. You're amazing. Sending hugs gentle ones of course. Went back and noticed you fell. Omg. Your head. Keep an eye on that sweetheart, head injuries can be funny like that. I’m so sorry. You guys have been through so very much!
Chicagoan~ congrats on getting the house up! Big big deal there! Thanks for the message it means a lot !
Minnie~ waving hello. Sleep is my middle name. These days. Don't want to rush the healing because i scan one month today! Yuck!
The Lynne's ~ thanks for being part of my sisters. I adore you all. Just honestly. Terrible pain. And a lot of medicine to manage it.
Gracie~ ❣️❣️❣️Thanks darling. Tanya.... waving to you and Holmes,
Love to all ~M~
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Hi ladies,
Thats right,popping in with a much needed Micmel update! Poor Micmel is in horrible pain. She spends most of her time trying to rest. She is doing ok. And will be back to herself in no time. Meanwhile,I miss the heck out of her!!!
Love Chelle.
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Hello!!!
Haha! No need for that last post. We were posting at exactly the same time.
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Thanks ladies, we just needed something.
Sorry about the pain, rest up ❤️
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Micmel, sending healing thoughts your way. It is good to hear from you. As you say, you must take this one day at a time. Rest, sleep, lounge, it is all good for the soul at a time like this. I also hope friggin Mother Nature kicks Old Man Winter out of our springtime! Some nice, mild temps and sunshine would help in your recovery. You remain in all our daily thoughts with best wishes that the pain soon takes a hike.
Bigb, I truly appreciate your comments on conversations about God with our in laws. I do believe in a spiritual realm, yet feel that always attributing the good things only coming from God diminishes the efforts that we put forth to make sure everything is taken care of. If dh and I stopped doing what we are doing, I wonder how God would handle that?
Lynne, I really get that you aren't being mean to your fil, just realistic. A side of my mil doesn't like me because I tell it like it is, too. She likes to pretend and make things up and her kids baby her and allow it. I call her out on her comments, she knows she can't manipulate me like she does her kids, that I see through her smokescreen, and she doesn't like it. And yet, she benefits from my assertiveness and having my sh*t together because it's the reason why dh and I are in a position to care for her.
I told dh, yes, your mom is 89 but she hasn't always been 89. Almost 30 years ago, she was widowed when she was about the age dh and I are now. I asked him, “are we addle-brained at this age? No!" She could have made different choices over these years, but instead, we became her insurance policy whenever things go wrong
Bigb, glad the estate sale went so well. How smart to hire such a great company to take care of the many details. Sorry to hear of your fall and hitting your head. I'm glad your dh can handle the reins over the weekend so you can take care of yourself.
Mae, I so love the cartoons of yourself!
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