My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Hi to everybody!!!! Muddlin, I'm trying Gabapentin too but having problems with it. Anything over 200mg a day and I start stumbling around like I'm drunk! Thinking it's not going to work for me!
Micmel!!!! Ugh on the infections! Hate it! I'm right there with you but slowly getting better!
Tanya, thanks, it's finally getting a little better! Still coughing and drainage, but not as bad! That rocket launch must have been something to see! Never have seen one in person!
Grannax, that's a heck of a doctor! Wish mine did that! Hoping your pet comes back good!
Mae, you've got a busy week for sure! Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how things go!
Sheila, wow you're been busy!!!! I need the kind of energy you have!!!
Ok ladies, kind of freaked out waiting for my pet!!! By the time I get it on Friday I will have been off treatment for four weeks. I see the on c on Tuesday of the next week...then wait to start whatever he's going to put me on....might end up being a five or six week chemo break instead of three!!!! Had anybody else had this happen
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Gracie~ when I had my recon surgery I was off ibrance for 6weeks total. I had no issues. The only problem for me was when I started it back up. The side effects were a little bit harsh again until my body adjusted. Hope whatever they decide is highly effective for you! Love you friend !~M~
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Micmel, JFL, MarianElizabeth, and Gracie, thanks for your experiences about gabapentin. JFL, if weight gain is even a possible SE I will stay miles away from it. The letrozole has turned me so fat and I swear it can turn air into pounds. I am not eating much, and less and less each week but the the scale is rolling upward anyway. It is so distressing. It's a high price to pay. I was already struggling with weight but had lost 20 pounds or so before my dx, and then a bit more in the early weeks of treatment. It has ALL returned, with interest. Blah
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Hi All
Micmel I love the grand puppy he’s so big now.
The CBD oil that I use has more CBD than THC otherwise it causes me anxiety too. It helps with my nausea and they have some kind that puts me to sleep. I love that one bc I dislike the pills (ambien) and all the side effects plus possible addiction.
Muddling I don’t know what meds I blame for the weight gain. It’s definitely a combination. And of course I take some responsibility for breathing the fat air. I used to be active, gym member going 3-5 times a week but after 4 surgeries and ibrance zometa faslodex I’m not active enough to consider anything I do a workout. I start physical therapy tomorrow and hope that it will get some muscle tone back and motivate me to consistently do exercise.
Mae I hope your scans went well yesterday.
I hope everyone’s tests come out good.
Take care all
Tany
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Muddling~I know exactly what you mean about even looking at a cupcake. Then Presto! My thigh seems to start to look like a freaking cupcake!! I have somehow managed to loose close to 20 lbs, I usually drink health shakes and eat one big meal a day and snack slightly during the day. I take anastrazole...that's a pound packer! They give us this medicine and then mention our weight. Ahhhhhhhahhhhhhahhhhhhh dumb dumb dumb!
Tanya~ Hello darling. My grand puppy is still a lap dog. Why I'm not sure. Lol. He clearly doesn't fit on anyone's lap. A couch is also clearly at risk during a launch. Lol. He's a little love at heart and I adore his mommy and daddy also. Hope you're doing well.
I have such a dilemma. I don't feel well really. My first week back on chemo kicks my rear end and I'm exhausted. My dad texted me and asked me if I was coming to see him tomorrow... now I know this text was-not from my dad . It was from her my step monster and she wants my help with him. I love my dad so much. But I am sick. Doing that tomorrow for me would not be a good idea. I'm trying to think of how I could suck it up and just go for a little while. But then I have to prepare something soft for him to eat. There never seems to be anything for him. I've been bringing things when we go. (My sister also). This is Happening to my father because of her and if I'm honest himself. He never did stick up for us. Now I am sticking up for him and protecting him. ? Is there something wrong with me !? Why do I feel bad about not going. Ugh!!!!!!!!
Mae ~You ok sweet friend.??
Chelle~ you better get in here with your good news and share the smile! I love you friend
Love to all !! ~M~
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Tanya! That's it! FAT AIR!! I need a better air filter then all will be well, lol! Wouldn't that be easy? I wish something was. I too was very active, walking miles every day and doing hard, physical work in our yard a couple of days a week from spring to fall. This year...pffft. I do mild arm/upper back exercises with light weights, and try to house-walk 3 or 4 days a week. I eat just enough brunch to take my I/L and then try to have a healthy supper. I drink lots and lots of water. My doc isn't concerned but I am. It's uncomfortable, mentally and physically. Oh well....I'm going to eat what I want around the holidays and try to do better after that.
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https://goo.gl/images/v4PzD4 This is me at Christmas time when my DH starts his baking. For the holidays. I just had cherry pie homemade crust. Fabulous! I agree let us eat cake and be merry! I can't beli it's two weeks today.
My son got a new job and he's thrilled. He's always wanted to work with cars and he has a hobby of tinkering with them since he was able To walk. He is going to be assistant parts manager and for a young guy of almost 22 he will be making at least double that he makes now. I hope that this is what he needs to get the beat back into his steps. He really needed this for sure. I'm so thankful for that!!
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Micmel, take care of yourself first. I'm sure that your father would love to see you but if it compromises your health, it is not worth doing. Tell your stepmonster that you are not feeling well enough to come tomorrow but that you will visit as soon as your are able. You are doing this for you, not for her & you have the right to do it on your terms. Christmas is just around the corner & I know you want to enjoy time with your DH & your children. Conserve your energy so you are able to do that. Your father will understand because he loves you. And there is nothing wrong with you. You are a caring daughter & you want to do what you can for your father. (That's why you feel guilty.) You have no control over the fact that your body is not cooperating with what your heart wants. (And that is why you should NOT feel guilty.) If it would help, order some food that your father could enjoy & have it delivered to his house. Then go visit when you are feeling better.
And congratulations to your son! I know you're proud of him
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I got to talk to my IR yesterday. He explained that the scare I had in September was not a scare it was real. The new MRI confirms it. He says I'm not a candidate for microwave ablation because it's in an inaccessible location. Another y90 is not an option, yet.
So, I will be changing TX to AA. That's what my. MO had planned to put me on four months ago. Yes, I'm disappointed. All the anxiety of how will I respond to this one, what SE will I experience, will it help, for how long. I got almost two years from Ibrance, I'm thankful for that of course. Now, on to the next thing.
Feeling discouraged.
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Grannax, I am sorry that you received bad news. I know that it is hard to hear about progression. I hope that you experience exceptional response with few or no SEs with A/A. I will add more later.i have to brush my teeth and head to the dentist. I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I will keep you in my prayers.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Grannax~ Sweetheart I honestly hope that you can kick back this crap with your new treatment. I know we get used to taking our pills and going on about our business and trying to live each day with those side effects. I hope that this new tx, does a number on that liver of yours. You're on my mind for sure.
Mae~In your pocket for testing and scanning. Good snacks btw.
JKL~Ty for that post. Your kind words help me. I am just tired this week and there is nothing I can do about it but rest when I need to. This week especially. I am hoping next week will be a lot better for me. I just don't like the thought of him being alone. I actually don't like it at all. He doesn't seem to mind and does get tired. But if i am there resting, and he need some help. I would be there. Watching a parent decline is terrible. Now I know honey family feels about watching me over the past three years and every single thing in between. So difficult!
Hope all is well, love to all
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Micmel, it is difficult to watch a loved one decline, but let me echo the sentiments - you have stage 4 cancer. You have to take care of you first. I miss my son terribly. He rarely comes around. No problems, he’s just 25, recently started a career and has a life approximately 2 hours from here. He was coming to visit last Sunday, but had a cold. I had to decline his visit. It hurt my heart, but I have to take careful of me.
Grannax - changing tx is so distressing not only because one tx failed, but because of the unknown. I’m sorry you have to go through it and I hope it’s good to you.
As of yesterday my daughter and I have booked the venue and she booked their honeymoon and the photographer consultation. A decision has been made on the reception food (a taco bar), and soon to be MIL is taking care of that and grooms cake. Caity’s best friend is making wedding cake and is supposed to bring a practice one to us this weekend. Wow! All the BIG stuff is done. We’re gonna take a week or so to recoup (I’m exhausted!), then we’ll start looking at decorations. It’s like we’ve been in beast mode!
Hope everyone is well. Mae - waiting to hear from you. Good luck on all your scans/appointments this week. ~xo
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Dear beautiful Micmel,
You are having external pressure now when you're so fatigued. You are not a nuttikins. God is filling your heart up with love, He will give you the strength for the day, for your visit with your father. What a blessing! Just rest when you can, love. Congratulations on your son's new job!!! It does a mom's heart proud. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are being so disciplined with your diet. This is no small feat!
Ladies, as I read your stories, I will support you and look forward to getting to know a great group of women. Micmel is like our honey, and us buzzing bees love her so!
Much love,
Miss B
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Grannax, I am new to this thread so do not know what your diagnoses are. I was on Ibrance for one year before progression mine is quite different. I do not know what AA or TX are but I hope they work for you.
Michael, rest! It is still dark out where I am and pouring with rain but I am enjoying some peace before anyone gets up. Love to you all as always.
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Thanks Micmel, makes me feel better to know others have gone so long without treatment and no bad effects from it! Congratulations to your son on his new job! That's awesome!
Grannax, I'm so sorry for your news! AA is one of the next tx my onc mentioned too. May be following you on that! Praying it knocks it down for you!
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Grannax, sorry about the disappointing news but hopeful this new tx kicks butt!
Thanks everyone for jumping in my pocket, scans are later this week but I’ll share results as soon as I get them.
DH is gone for a couple days taking building materials to the cabin and our houseguest is supposed to have a job out of town, hopefully soon. I’d love a day or two of complete silence.
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Muddling, I take gabapentin for nerve pain. I have been taking 3 x 300 for more than a year. No,weight gain, and no side effects either for me.
Grannax, sorry to hear your news. Hoping the new treatment is successful.
Micmel, that's a great dog! About your Father, you must take care of You! If you don't feel up to visiting this week, wait until you feel well enough. Good to hear about your son.
I had my usual 3 weekly iv treatment and injections today. Next one is in 4 weeks because of new year holidays, plus I will have ct results by then. I just want everything to be stable to,go,and see my daughter in Canada n March.
Sending good,thoughts to all x
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Sheila~Thank you honey. Hearing of your story about your son....was very poignant to read. It made me realize that I can only do what I can do. I literally slept from 1130 last night until 730 this morning. Stayed up until 10:00 am. Then crashed from then until 430 pm. Getting up only to go to The bathroom. When I woke up, I wasn't rested. My head foggy and just feel lethargic. That's the ibrance dance for sure! Exhausted 25 months of 125mg. All of us are such fighters, we are a band of women who can kick ass and sleep it off. But man. Days are sometimes rough. Thee definition of chronic. Yikes! Rough stuff
Miss Bianca~Hello beautiful. You are like a needed light for me today. I was worn out and was not able to visit my dad. I feel sad about it. But I don't want to push it. I slept so much I am like a zombie. No one tells you that once you have cancer everything changes. Everything. Even your willingness to believe in things you once had never did before. You helped me with that. So thank you very much. Love you too!
Marian~I think it's affinitor and I can't remember the spelling of the other a. Someone will chime in i am sure. She was on ibrance. For two years. I hope your chemo isn't too bad on you. I know and remember it well.. I'm laying in bed now and the commercial playing In the backround is that sad ass aspca animal commercial that rips my soul out. Good grief.
Mae~ I hope you get your day or two of peace. I know having guests is harrdddd! I was always being woken up when we had a full house. Since DD moved out with her DH. It's been peaceful, very. I'm alone all day everyday. Somedays I could go crazy.
Gracie~ waving hello my sweet friend.
Runor~ hugging you tightly. Always here my friend.
Holmes ?? Where ya been ? Parry starting to worry about my team mate.
Grannax~ thinking of you sweet friend. No y90? No ablation? It is accessible through liver resection? Having that surgery saved my life... it was. Very painful for sure. But not as bad as the recon. OMG horrible pain! Keep asking! I had to push it. I was in hospital for a week though. It wasn't easy at all.
I love you guys! I know how hard everyday is for us all. Cancer is a shitty ass deal. No other way to package it!
Hugs to you team fu cancer.
~M~
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Tanya, it is always nice to see your posts. I had a rough summer and fall, so my DH and I haven't planned many trips. We will be spending two weeks at Walt Disney World next month. It will just be the two of us, and we will play it by ear. We will go to the parks if we feel like it and just relax and enjoy the warm weather when we want to do that. I would like to see the Grand Canyon. Your pictures are a wonderful incentive. It just looks magnificent. I would love to go back to Hawaii next year, but it is so expensive, and the flights are very long. I worry when I see my IRA balance going down. I want to be sure that my DH has enough money to live comfortably after I am gone. His mother will turn 100 years old next month. Can you believe it? What if my DH lives that long, too.
Shelia, You and your daughter have accomplished so much in a very short period of time. How did you do that? I am in awe of you. It must be very exciting to plan that wedding. I do hope that you post pictures for us when the time comes. You will have to start thinking about your own dress soon. Do you know what color you will wear? Will it be long or short?
Micmel, I hope you feel better soon. It is unfortunate that your onc won't lower your dosage for ibrance. It might help your fatigue issue. Oh well, better to be in remission and tired than energetic snd not in remission I guess.
Lynne, Your family must be in the middle of your month of birthdays. I forget, when is yours? I hope I didn't miss it. How are you feeling? Anything new from last week's appointment with your onc? Is the anemia any better? You have your appointment at DF next week, right? How is your daughter doing? Has she made a final dd vision about a divorce?
Muddling, I am all too familiar with that fat air you mentioned. When I was on ibrance and faslodex, I think I could have fasted for months and still would have gained weight. I found it fascinating that my neither my PCP or MO ever said a word about it. I guess they figured it didn't matter. I have lost 15 pounds in just a few months, since I stopped taking ibrance/faslodex. I eat more now than I did then. Maybe this cold winter air it less fattening.
Gracie, Are you feeling better? I think that I read on another thread that you are having your kitchen remodeled. Did I imagine that?That must be a major inconvenience, but I am sure it will be worth it.
Grannax, When will you meet with your MO to discuss A/A or whatever treatment plan you will change to?
I had my monthly MO appointment yesterday. My hemoglobin increased from 8 to 9.2. Yay! I have felt my the energy level increasing during the past week. I think that Xeloda has started to work. I will have scans in early January. I did tell my MO that the left side of my chin has been numb for the last five weeks. That brought on lots of questions, a look at my last bone scan, an exam of my mouth, tongue, teeth, gums, jaw, eyes, neck,etc. Since my jaw looked okay in the bone scan, it reduces the likelihood that the numb chain is cancer-related by 25%. Personally, I think it's just some weird thing, and we will never know what is causing it. Anyway, I was sent for an X-ray work up of my mandible. That was an interesting experience. Apparently, it is not done frequently, and there are precise angles that must be used when positioning the equipment for the X-rays. It was funny to hear one technician reading the angles and entry point from the manual for each X-ray. They double -checked before every picture. At least they were thorough, but I found myself laughing from time to time. I thought it would be really quick, but they took them from each side as well as front and back, so I was there for a while. I am sure that everything was normal.
Hello to everyone that I haven't addressed individually.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Lynne, wasn't me with the kitchen, but oh gosh would I love to redo the whole thing!!!!
Hope the numb jaw turns out to be nothing!
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Gracie, Sorry. I did a search, and it turns out it is Grannax who is getting a new kitchen. I'm with you, I would like a new one, too, and while I am at it, I will wish for a brand new bathroom, too. Of course, they are the two most expensive remodels, right? My DH and I got an estimate to redo our master bath a couple of years ago. Talk about sticker shock. I tend to over analyze everything, and when I thought of the price per square foot, I was shocked. My DH wanted to do it anyway, but here I still sit with an outdated bathroom.
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Grannax I saw on the Ibrance thread that you have liver progression to confirm a test from Sept. I don't know what AA is but I am hopeful for all the treatments. I'm hopeful that you get to do your NY modeling trip and that maybe being in the limelight you get some extra prayers and love, as you continue to tell the story of MBC.
Marianelizabeth TX is treatment. i don't know what AA is but I'm sure someone will tell us. I did try to look it up but didn't find it.
50's girl I wanted to remodel my kitchen and bathroom but it hasn't happened yet. We did the two back bedrooms and I'm really not that concerned. I hope you enjoy your Orlando trip. My husbands' niece and nephew live in Melbourne and Orlando so we go and see them from time to time. Melbourne is beautiful and a quaint town. My cousin lives in Hawaii and this year God willing my mom and I will go and visit her. The only reason why we're able to go is because we will stay with her. So all we have to do is pay for food, car and fun. My mom is 85 and we're looking forward to spending this time together, hopefully in Feb.
Sheilamarie that wedding planning is just about done!!!!! Seriously efficient and best use of young people!
Minnie I pray your results are stable and you get that trip to Canada underway!
Muddling I started physical therapy today. My recent surgeries and back pain have made me very sedentary. I'm so happy I went to PT because at least I will know what to do and not do because my back is fragile. I'm hopeful that I can get stronger. If I lose some weight in the process huzzah hip hip hooray!!!!!
I made scallops, beans and rice and salad for dinner. We ate early and now I'm ready for an early night.
Tanya
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AA = Afinitor Aromasin
Sorry Grannax about progression. Positive thoughts coming your way.
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Grannax, sorry to hear things are not as you had hoped.
Mae, travelling with you.
Micmel, the last thing you need right now is to catch a bug so stay home until you are more germ proof.
I read everyone's posts and have not got the mental capacity of so many of you who know everyone and what's going on. But I do read and I do cheer or cry for all of you.
As I was reading and watching it snow outside a Christmas song popped into my head:
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But this thread is so delightful
So I'll say what everyone here knows,
Cancer blows, cancer blows, cancer blows.
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Runor~ Hello my friend. I Love your song. Cancer blows cancer blows cancer blows. That is t-short worthy! I hope you’re doing well and love seeing you here always
Daniel~I knew someone would chime in with the other A word! I just wish they would go from treatments to cures. Hugs to Leslie please !!?? Hope all is well with you all.
Lynne (50’s) & Gracie~Can I have a new kitchen and bathroom to please ? Lol
Minnie~. Hugs sweet woman!
Tanya~I agree your Grand Canyon photos really are amazing and it does make me want to travel there. I just don’t like where one of my mets is located in my lower pelvis. Makes travel very painful and loooong. Annoyingly so! Disappointed to say the least. No wonder I have chronic sciatica pain. Ouchie!!
Where has Lynne(Man) been also.. hope all is well!Keep warm nor’easters!
Much love to all!
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50s- I too had a odd numb spot on my chin. This was on my right side near the bottom of my mouth. It started when I was near the end of abraxane and then lasted until about two days ago. I'd say it's about four months. It wasn't bad but kind of annoying. I ended up getting this huge huge blood blister inside my mouth in the same area. Once the blister went away so did the numbness, weird!
Ruor- cute song! We need to add to it!
Grannax - so sorry about the change. I know it's depressing and a bad time of the year on top of it.
Micmel- hope you get better soon. It just takes so much longer when our immune system is down so it's frustrating.
I have treatment 4 of 6 of ac chemo Monday. I'm getting antsy sitting in the house and only going to work. Flu season is coming so I don't want to get that! It will be a long few more months. No one gets it bc they can just jump up and run to the store or Christmas parties etc. my bf has a party Friday night and wants to go. I said I just can't afford to get sick and not get my treatment. It's like ok, and off he will go. It just gets depressing being the one sitting here fighting to stay alive to be with people who won't sit it hard you and fight.
Girls we all need to just have a happy holiday. Next year needs to be our year to shine! No more of this crappy news we keep getting.
I was sent a car T cell trial in Ohio. It wasn't a story for breast cancers so I'll check Further into it. Sounds like it's made into a shot form.
Have a good hump day
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micmel, hope you are feeling a little better!
Lynne, yes my bathroom needs it too! My house was built in 1979, and its not ever had anything done....I'm sick of looking at 70's colors!!!!
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Hi gals! I wrote a few days ago, but my computer battery died and I lost the whole thing.
Anyway-missing you all and you are often in my thoughts.
I have been busy with activities of daily living with Christmas prep added in. I get a little frustrated that we all can't achieve as much as we used to. it seems to take me so long to do anything, but I keep telling myself "you will get there, and if you don't it doesn't really matter". But, it stinks sometimes that women are the predominant "memory makers". And-I am going to choke whomever thought of this Elf on the Shelf thing. The only reason I do it is that my grandson absolutely loves it.
Doing fine cancer-wise(if there is such a concept). Tumor markers down again in Nov. Hand and foot syndrome proving challenging so contemplating taking extra week off from Madame X.
Micmel-you and your Dad.....what a lovely daughter you are. What a bittersweet time. It must feel so good to be able to see him before he moves on to the next realm. We have two 90+ year old family members who are slowly fading away as I write. Hard to face, but joyful to reflect on their incredible lives...
Mariane-I will be shaking in my boots when the time comes for IV chemo again, I completely get your apprehension.
Muddling- it is just so hard to lose a parent-thinking of you
Grannax-It took me a while to accept when Ibrance failed for me. I felt discouraged also. I think AA is a kickass chemo, so it will hopefully put you right back on track. It's still a blow, though. You will process this and get back to that "new normal" feeling, which is a gift. Thinking of you.
Tanya-love your spirit and perseverance! So nice to read about your little adventures!
Gracie- sounds as though you are recovering from the cold from hell!
Lynne50's-so glad to hear that Madame X is working- I've been on for 10 mos. now. Crossing fingers it works for a long time for those of us on it. You must be feeling better as that hemoglobin rises.
Lynne(Man)-must be somewhat disconcerting to be figuring out that next treatment. I am thinking of you as you wade through it all. I know that your MO at DF will find something right for you. You must be busy now with Christmas prep and family and grandkids.
Shout out to Minnie, Mae, Bighome, Parry, Sheila, Skitz, Daniel, MissB, Divine, runor, and all of my dear MBC sisters. Love you always!
Mary Jane
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Yummy! Especially with chocolate sauce!0 -
DH's grandpa's snowshoes!0
