My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mae~ That is so romantic. I love it. My hubby did that on a hard boiled egg he makes for my protein. It made me tear up and realize how very thankful I am to have this beautiful man in my life. I am sure you feel the same way for sure about that sweet napkin. This thread is all about that type of love for me. Smiling ear to ear. I agree the weather does give me the wickeds. The sharp stabbing pains when I am cold. For sure. Hope that is all it is Shelia!!
Marian~I had the surgery from an injury and trauma. It didn't work totally but did relieve some of the pain surrounding the area that was being compressed. I know exactly how it feels. It's painful and constantly annoying and never goes away. The medicine just barely dulls the pain. Sometimes they can radiate the area. That may help alleviate the swelling. And irritated nerves. It's all a crap shoot. During that surgery, they pierced my lung nerve and now only one lung works for me. It sucks! I hope they can help find a solution for you.
Bella~ Hello beautiful....that is so heart warming and who wouldn't love them? I am interested in totally purchasing some. I collect them (key chains) and would be honored. What a wonderful young man. That is so special. And to think of his age. Entrepreneurs pay attention!!!! Ty vm for showing us these beautiful things. Precious children. So innocent and kind.
I saw my father again today. This time was harder. We brought him food. While he was eating he had a coughing spell and was choking. I had to reach inside his mouth and pull out the food. And make him spit it into my hand. He isn't eating enough and is alone way too much. What if I wasn’t there while he was eating ? He would have choked... We are really in family crisis here. The hardest part is that my little family has been estranged from them. I'm walking into the flames now. I will do it for my father. Because I love him. He is not with out blame I know. But I've aways been unconditional in my love. When it's blood. My step. Monster is more accepting of me now, only for her own self absorbed reasons. IT really has nothing to do with my Dad or my relationship and the daughter father bond there. It's because she is realizing she cannot do it alone. She burnt bridges made out of wood that cannot be re-constructed because of too much damage.
If this hadn’t happened I would have moved him in with me long ago part time, when he started to decline. My heart is breaking knowing my time is limited with him. I look into his brilliant blue eyes and I see myself because I look like him. It's amazing to me how I can feel such a need to protect and take care of him after he cast me and my kids aside. along with her leading the way. For 16 years!!! Now I am ready to help him in anyway I can.?? Because of love. God this is hard.💔😢
Hope everyone is doing good. Love to all ~M~
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Micmel, when we are able to rise above the bad, that's when we touch the divine. We can't all do it in every situation. But when it does happen all holy things are possible. Hugs to you and your dad in this very tough time.
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Runor ~ it was an emotional day for sure. He's already asking when I am coming back. I am going to commit to once a week for the afternoon from like 1030 to like 300 ish because then it will only be a few hours that day he will be alone. My niece is stepping up, and she better. Or this mbc woman is going to be kicking some major ass of hers. Why is this generation so pathetic? It's like they are the captains of excuses and laziness? I know I spoiled my kids. I did. I know I did. But I also taught them Love. It's going to take some out of me. But I have to do it for him. He just can't be alone anymore. The nurses report said it today. So adjustments are being made. Sigh!! life gets. Nothing but harder as you get older. Wow. This dying thing is painful and frustrating and over all some People are real dicks. Not my dad per say, but people! Btw Medicare hospice programs suck..... if you need to be put into a facility, it's a single pay outright and it's not cheap for a private service to keep the “death watch" I've been looking into it more and more. More and more it makes me wonder what kind of program the ladies mean when they say they are entering hospice... has to be private The nurse told me today more and more people are dying at home because hospitals won't keep you , and they cannot afford the pricy private nurses and facilities with just Medicare alone what a shit deal that is.. People Need help!
I'm exhausted. I hope I sleep well. Hope you ladies do also we need it.
Goodnight ~M~
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Marianelizabeth, I am Irish/British living in Spain. My daughter and her husband have their residency in Canada, and hopefully this year will do their citizenship. 2 little ones born in Victoria
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Good morning beauties. Woke up and already tired. Yada yada yada. Same thing each day. Always. It is a wonder I do not go bonkers. I finally did my nails last night. Ok. Admitting I fell asleep too quickly, now I have sheet marks. The sheet marks will be talking to me all day long. Oh well I'm just thankful to have nails again.
Love to all. Keep warm. Chilly here Lynnwood..28 brrrr yeah uh no! Too cold !
~M~
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I want to Honor today Mr. George H.W. Bush. This was another one of those rare heroes that we are fast loosing in our country. Like John McCain .. If I wasn't diagnosed with this monster. I would have gone to Washington to see him lay in state in the rotunda. My most favorite president is George W. Bush..... and I just saw his speech for his father and I am streaming with tears. He is an amazing man. What an amazing family. I hope they can find peace in knowing he is now with his wife Barbara and their child who died at age three of Luekemia. We are loosing our heroes.... our people that we need here to show these young ones how to be patriotic and put others first over themselves. That is what is missing in our country. Join together as Americans and treat each other with honor and respect. No more bitter fighting or meanness and disgusting behavior. We will never keep being the strongest country and patriots.... unless that is the backbone of who an American was always.
This man should be honored. The service has been beautiful. I am glad I am lucky enough to be watching this. It's times like this I am very proud to be an American.
Much love ~M~
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I to have been watching it as it is on Canadian TV too. I agree he was a great man and a nonpartisan president or at least the best you can ever get. Maybe just a little bit will rub off on your dreadful president in office now who cares for no one but himself. It shows as he was not invited to speak and probably was lucky to be invited.
I'm having breakfast in bed again and I'm going for a walk this afternoon with my daughter around the small lake near her house. It is cold but sunny outside and I can see the mountains all around. Tomorrow at 10:30 I start my first IV chemo in almost 6 years. Our cancer center in Victoria is about as good as you can get and I have a wonderful team.
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Micmel, I totally agree with you. These past few days I have been touched by the aging of those heroes who served with him in his administration and in congress. James Baker, Alan Simpson, Bob Dole, John Danforth...just to name a few...we really are saying good bye to the greatest generation. My father who passed away six years ago on December 7, was part of the greatest generation. The torch has been passed. May we take to heart the legacy of George H. W. Bush.
Marianelizabeth, the sitting President usually does give the eulogy at a state funeral of a past president. However, history was made today...A past president who is the son of the deceased president, gave the eulogy for his father. Never in our history has that occurred. How appropriate.
It was reported that the Bush family contacted the White House this past summer and stated that at the time of George H. W, Bush’s funeral that they wanted everyone included and to feel comfortable. Trump sent down Air Force One...his plane, not a back up, to bring President Bush back for his last trip to Washington. Seats were removed in the cabin of Airforce One so his casket would ride with the family and not in a cargo hold.
It may not last but may we come together on one day as Americans to celebrate the legacy of this great American. 🙏💪🏻
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M.E., I can only imagine how heavy your feet are as you head into more chemo. I am stilled and silent in the face of the fortitude that so many people show when they give this brutal battle a second go. We travel with you, hold hands around you, forgive Micmel's wonky nail polish. Gee, some people!
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Marian~Hi darling! I will be in your pocket when you face that chemo this week! I know it's difficult to do. I've had some powerful chemo as well. You're strong. Roll in and get it done. Then roll out!
Bella~ Hello there beauty.... I completely could not agree more... when Alan spoke I cried pretty good, and he was so funny and you see the knowledge ooozing from him. Bob Dole, even though is wheelchair bound, insisted someone lift him up and hold him steady so that he could salute this amazing man and president. Those are real men. Really strongly men who honored loyalty and integrity & friendship. Something that I believe lacks tremendously in our government on both sides. I try very hard to not debate politics anywhere at all. I do agree that president Trump held himself well today and Melania is just Divine. (Shout out to our own Divine)....I also agree about the plane ✈️ Air Force one even being renamed that day to specialmission 41. He closed the post offices and called it a national day of mourning. I believe everything in every situation involves two sides and somewhere in the middle.... lies the truth. Is he harsh yes.? Is he twitter happy yes..? Does he relentlessly get attackedby Everyone? YES... but I believe that this economy is booming and I know that at the end of the day he really didn't even have to run. He must love this country somehow. Afterall, even with all its faults. I wouldn't live anywhere else. Ever.
Much love to all ~M~
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Runor ~LOL. It is pretty bad. I'll admit. But at least i tried. I just slept two hours. Worn out from visiting my father and knowing at some point soon I will have to say goodbye. Getting older Is hard. Much love my friends ~M~
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I’m in your pocket tomorrow Marian, you aren’t alone. Yes it was an odd feeling to be back in chemo, and truthfully, I was also a bit nervous too. Bittersweet is how I would describe it....it was a sharp reminder that other drugs haven’t worked and hope that this one will kick cancer hard. Are you doing weekly low dose Taxol?
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Pots, yes weekly low dose weekly times 3 then a week off. I still had Capecitibine choice but want my feet back . We will see. Thanks for asking.
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anybody ever cancel a pet scan due to being sick? First of all, I think I have a cold. I don't know how I'm going to get through today without cough drops! I'm coughing my head off, running a fever, lungs are full! Tomorrow, how to lay in the machine for an hour without coughing!!!! Anybody?
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call them and reschedule. You can't be going anywhere. How high is the fever.... of course you can reschedule it. Just do it yourself. But contact your oncs office because they are the ones that usually schedule it for me. But if you tell them you're not not feeling well. It's better if you rest. Gracie, if you're like me, that cold thing can linger and I am always packed with mucus. I believe it comes along with sinus issues. Grannax mentioned it several times also. I am starting my 25th month of ibrance. Please ibrance train keep on trucking !
Marian. ~ with you today my friend. Loaded pockets you have. How they are big enough! Hope it goes fast!
Pots~ Hello sweetheart always nice to see you. It's also nice to know that people actually know each other here. Makes me smile to see bonds form.
Love to all. Very cold here again. Under 30. Brrrr still under the covers I am .
~M~
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Yes, Micmel, it stays on with me too! I'm losing my voice too! Geez this thing came on quickly!!!!!
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Did you call the oncs office and let them know you weren’t feeling well, so you can get another quick appointment, or have someone get you in! You need rest. I don’t know about where you are... but here it’s way below freezing! I don’t know if I even want to go anywhere either. My ear infection is still slowly going away. It seems I need more antibiotics each time to really knock it out. I hope you feel better sweetheart! Watch that fever! Hugs ~M~
(even though I’ll probably catch it lol)
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Marian - we are all with you today. IV chemo was my second line of treatment (and 3rd, and 4th!). After the initial nervousness, I found it almost comforting to see my nurses and onc so often. Before every tx I had labs drawn and saw my onc. Now I’m on Xeloda, had horrible nausea/vomiting and keep putting off calling the onc. It was just so easy to see him in closer intervals.
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Sheila~ Hello honey. I am so happy to see you. It is strange how when we are in that active chemo treatment, it does seem like we are throwing everything they have at it. Which I guess makes us feel more at ease when we can be face to face and hear the plans. Hugging you beautiful friend. Do you have the nausea pills Reglan? Try anything you can! Don't give Up on it. Getting rid of that nausea is a huge deal. Much love ~M~
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Micmel, I did call and cancel. I have a call in also to my doctors scheduler. Will just have to wait for her to call me back. Ugh....was fine at least the whole week I was with the kids. Came home to get sick lol!!!
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well that makes sense. Kids are germ merchants.glad you had fun though, I hope it was wonderful......And that week off of ibrance. You're like a magnet for illness. I know it well... boy do I. Rest up and stay comphy in those blankets. Glad you get to reschedule! Colds suck! Hugs my friend ~M~
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omg I slept all day. Allllllllllll dayyyyyy. Like wtf. I do have an ear infection I'm trying to kick. It's more than annoying. I'm going to be. Forced to. (I don't even want to say it) go to the doctors 😱. I always have to be In pretty bad shape to even consider going to my pcp, to where I crawl into the office. I always seem to develop something that leads to a cold or whatever.... every week off. I know my White counts are low. Now all I want to do is go to bed again. I keep yawning and my antibiotics make my stomach feel like crap as well. Especially since All ive had today is a yogurt. No wonder I don't have any energy 😞 ugh ibrance can really kick your ass. As well as every other treatment out there! The battle is real.
Marian. Hope you're feeling better. And made short work of that. Chemo!! Hugs !
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Gracie. I'm so glad you cancelled but you need to be seen by a doc. I would go to my PCP but I'm sure your onc would see you if you don't have a PCP. Wear a mask, but go.
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Grannax~So nice to see you. I hope you are doing well and we miss seeing you around. Much much love ~M~
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Hello sweet Micmel! Hello lovely ladies! I am so happy to read the support, friendship and love on this thread. Thank you so much Micmel for starting it. Hugs and prayers. 🌹💖
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I am going to see my PvP tomorrow! Cough is worse. My port hurts from all the coughing!!!
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Oh Gracie.....I hope that you get some good cough medicine. Hit that nyquil hard!! I know what you mean. When I face planted on the concrete my port hurt for a week after. Keep resting and a lot of fluids!!! Sleep sleep sleep is our best friend. It is peaceful and don’t worry about cancer in our dreams sleep sleep! Much love
Miss Bianca~ Hello sweet friend. It’s a honor to see you here beautiful woman. Ty for your sweet words and all you do for others here on BCO. Love you !!
~M~
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Went to my pcp. I have an old fashioned cold, not the flu (thank goodness), and a bacterial infection in my right eye. Got cough meds, and drops for eye, refilled my flonase and inhaler, but my lungs sound really good! Thanks for the advice to go! I'll sleep through the weekend probably and let my body get over this! My eye hurts worse than anything today, and its totally scratchy and watering constantly!!!! Ugh!!! Going to bed!
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so glad you’re ok. Plain old colds suck also!! Sleep well my beautiful friend. Love you
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I want a big ol glass of wine! I'd love to be at my lake home right now sitting around with friends having a glass of wine! Winter is so long, long enough without being down from this ac chemo. I don't however think acchemo and wine mix well!
Mae and Tanya I'm so jealous you could take trips and Mae work out. A work out for me right now is climbing steps.
I really shouldn't complain bc I probably am doing better than quite a few through the ac. I did round three last week and then headed right over to the hospital for two blood transfusions. My day was from 8:30 am to 9:30pm. Longest day so far! I then worked the other four days that week and made it everyday this week. I do not drive bc I'm tired and work an hour from home. I normally have help as well bc I get tired real easy doing things.
My plus of all this is my numbers and tumor markers are going down. My doctor wanted to scan me about now, after round three. I refused and said I'm not stressing and ruining my Christmas. Every holiday I got bad news, it wasn't going to be this year! I said besides we can tell from my numbers. So early Jan I'll have a scan to see where i am.
Im stressed not knowing what to do next. Should I try y90 or go back to Mayo Clinic for a trial? How much load will I have in my liver? Will this keep working? So many thoughts go through this brain, I can't keep up.
I'm staying in mostly so I do not get sick. This is hard to avoid bc I'm so sick of staying in. I think everyone else here feels the same. It's just not worth risking this time of year!
Been doing lots of Christmas shopping online! Probably to much shopping.
Oh I almost forgot! Nothing good happens to me ever. I never win a thing. The receptionist at my doctor office put me in for three breast cancer things that they would pay you something. They raise money to help. Lo and behold I did get a 500 check in the mail. Just a little something to help you it said. I'm saving it in case I need it for y90, if that's the route I go
Where has parry been?
Have a stress free weekend girls!
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