My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Good Morning Miss Bianca~It has been a very good month. I have to say. That old saying good things happen in 3's. My mom always says that. Funnny how sometimes what your mom says rings true years down the road. It's not very nice out today and I have some stocking stuffers to go buy and... and a few more presents. I have things to do!!! Ugh!!! I also have Ritilan for my fatigue and I just can't use it. It gives me headaches.. so I tried half of it, it's a little better. It makes me feel like an engine running on low on gas. Your body is Straining to get up a hill but your mind insists you can do it. I hope it works well for you. Hope your weekend is a good one. Much love to you! ~M~
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i have just come to realize that we haven’t seen Blueshine around either. I am always trying to remember people and special people to this thread. She happens to be one of them. I hope you’re doing well my friend and I am thinking of you. ~M~
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Shelia, such a wonderful girl Caity is! She had to work very hard to accomplish that. Hope the graduation was wonderful too.
Marian, love the hair color! As Micmel said, great smile.
Micmel, happy to hear of your Santa bringing a sleigh full of treats for you!
There's a Walgreens near my onc center so I asked DH to stop there and I made him sit in the car so I could get a few things for stockings and a card. I can't do much but at least I did that. Today I had to hem two curtain panels. That was an adventure with my useless flipper hand. It took forever but I got it done. I didn't even try the sewing machine. I couldn't lift it and I'd probably run my numb fingers/hand through it.😕 Certainly I couldn't run a straight seam. I should give the machine away but it's old and quirky. Like me!!
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My girl heading in to graduate0 -
Muddling~I was Very suprised and happy. Sometimes people surprise you within the community. I am very thankful.
Sheila wow. She's absolutely gorgeous. You must be so proud of her. That is so amazing all that you're getting to experience all these wonderful achievements with your nearest and dearest! Congrats proud mama!! 🎓🎓💙💙
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SheliaMarie, what a lovely graduation photo! Muddling, some days, the littlest things we do have big meaning. Micmel, you and your son so much deserve the gifts~~I am so thankful for you.
It has been a good week for me so far and in part because I tried hard to keep the peace by staying quiet and trying harder to understand what my husband is going through with my cancer. His support group for spouses of metastatic patients at our cancer agency was a week early due to the holidays and he is always happier after the meetings. He needs support too.
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Marian~I agree completely. I always worry about my DH too, he's so loving and kind. Funny, handsome. Loyal dependable and just plain the love of my life. I worry about his happiness also. He and the kids are my reason for trying to fight so hard. I know we all feel the same. I'm glad your week has been good... I'm looking to get up and feed the dogs and get to get to Walmart before it becomes a major mess. I have a few things to get,not many and I'll be done. Good grief. What a job Christmas has become. But when we all gather around our little Charlie Brown Christmas tree together it's worth it. Goodnight sweet ladies. ~M~
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Dear Micmel,
Thank you so much for the well wishes. It's wonderful to be here for the holidays. I hope you enjoy your shopping. Walmart certainly has everything you could possibly stuff a stocking with. I bought baby Norfolk Island pine trees from there, and since they cannot hold a lot of weight yet, my little trees do resemble a Charlie Brown Christmas tree! Lols
Loves and hugs to you, sweet angel.
SheliaMarie, congratulations on your daughter's graduation! What a beauty!
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Beautiful, happy graduate! Lovely, Shella
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You have a gorgeous daughter, Shelia. You must be very proud of her accomplishments! Hope you're doing well.
Micmel, what a wonderful surprise you received. Enjoy everything - you deserve the happiness! I'm still sending prayers for your dad; how's he doing? I bet he loves seeing your kids.
Hope everyone is having a happy holiday season!!!
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WOW! You must be an incredible Mom to have such a fine daughter. Congrats to both of you
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Hello ladies. Grannax... JKL... Miss Bianca. I agree Sheila’s daughter is a keeper for sure. Some lucky young man will be lucky if she gives them the time Of day...
klm~Welcome to the thread. Sheila is a wonderful mother for sure. One of our team... for sure. Nice to see you here!
Much love ~M~
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I am going to try another visit this week to see my father and this is what I am trying to keep in mind. Not only for him but for myself. We know how tricky this disease is. I can’t believe this is the last full week before Christmas. Goodness gracious. Much love ~M~
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Good evening all,
I hope you had a relaxing weekend.
Miss Bianca I haven't had a nail infection. Are you on Ibrance or something else. I have the neuropathy in both feet and hands. I hope it gets better. My mom had a fungal infection and she used tea tree oil. It smells like a liniment but it does the trick.
Sheila your daughter is gorgeous. Congratulations on the graduation. My grandson graduated from UGA this past May. Enjoy!!!!!
Micmel those gifts were a beautiful gesture of kindness and love from your community. They made me smile to think of you smiling from ear to ear.
Marianelizabeth where did you find your husbands MBC support group? My husband needs to go and I hope he will if I find a group. I'll try the port wave thing the next time mine doesn't work.
50's girl I'm sorry to hear about your tumor markers and hope you have good scans. All the numbers and secret doctor talk scares me and makes me take sleep meds. So I pray you have good scans and God makes it easy on you.
Mason I hope your sinus is just a simple infection, nothing more. Praying for the best for all of us. Deep sighs, it seems that everything no matter how big or small is unsettling to say the least.
Grannax I hope your appt. tomorrow is easy, If you start the new AA infusion you should be regaining strength before the holiday.
My next door neighbor came home from the hospital today. She has lung cancer. She's been there a month. I brought her flowers and talked to her for awhile. It was pleasant in the midst of the fight for our lives.
Hope everyone who's going through something has someone to help them through. Take good care.
Tanya
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Tanya~ I was very surprised to say the least. To see those gifts with our name on them warmed my heart. I am going to speak to DH for next year... maybe we can pay it forward. He will love that for sure. I love to give as well. You have got to be one of the sweetest ladies my friend. I adore you being here. I wish you were my neighbor. I am sorry to hear about your neighbor. Nothing is easy at all for sure. Thinking of all this week. Bloodwork, chemo, scans, child issues. Anything at all. Grab on tight to each other. Much love ~M~
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Tight Hugs
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🤲.....much love ~M~0 -
The holiday depression has set in. I thought I would get through without any this year although I don’t know why I thought that. It’s the being alone so much, along with the loss of my mom six years ago on New Years Eve thatvdies it I think. Heck I don’t know. It’s missing Tom and being alone about 99% of the time. It’s wanting all of those big Christmas mornings and Eve’s that we used to have. It’s so many things. It’s wondering how many more Christmas’s i will have and if my kids will ever realize what a lonely tim it is. It’s hit. Can we move onto January now
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Gracie, you aren't alone. I had my pre-Christmas melt down today, a good cry cleared my thoughts. You nailed it right on...wishing for the Christmas Eve and morning magic of days long ago and thinking about how precious time is now. Micmel, your picture says it best...things can turn in the blink of an eye. So Gracie, if you're feeling blue, imagine I'm in your pocket....and don't throw me out please with your wad of Kleenex!
Marian, i'm Glad to hear that you're sailing along smoothly with the Taxol. I found things changed with each cycle. I knew I was losing my hair when I got terrible headaches and my scalp started to hurt....lol, I thought I might have a brain tumour b/c it went on for what felt like forever.
I love reading about the wonderful ordinary things in your lives. Sheila your daughter is lovely. Tanya, I love hearing about your adventures. Fingers crossed for those waiting for scans, blood work, or relief.
I'm rattling along. I'm hoping to get the last of the Xmas shopping done on Monday. One thing i've Learned is that I can't do things last minute or rushed. Sigh, I also don’t seem to have any extra energy these days. Exemestane (Aromisin) makes me more achy.
Be well
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Gracie~I don't blame you one darn bit. I was always a huge Christmas fan. Yeah when the kids were little and $100 bought them many many thingsto play with and you could have that perfect box waiting under the tree. Now it's all forced down our throats and the advertising makes me want to puke. I am happy to report My DD will Be making an appearance which I am thrilled about. It wouldn't have been the same without her.. just like thanksgiving.
I am just pleased it only took two holidays for her to be like this is crap!! I love you my friend. I am also alone all day everyday. It does get old. And is another reason why I sleep a lot
Pots~Lol at don't throw me out with your old Kleenex. Lord knows Ive thrown out money and chapsticks and ear pieces for my phone, with those Kleenex's. So I had to lol. I'm sorry you're achy. None of those treatments are very kind to us. We are all running on limited energy... and Gracie~ you'll be here many more
Christmass! Believe me. Much love to you all!
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Today is the day. I go to my MO, get results of PET and schedule Liver BX. Okay so that's how I'm spending the last week before the Christmas parties begin. I did wrap all the gifts for the first party yesterday. Today I go to the $ Tree to buy more bags for the next two parties. Thankfully I got all my shopping done early this year.
I took my last Ibrance pill on Friday. It was kinda sad. I guess because it cleared up all my lung and chest mets and I was able to stay on it for almost two years. I was able to function, go on three vacations and learn how to be a model! All that, and now I don't know what to expect with my next TX. I'm in the I hate my liver mode AGAIN. If I just could live without a liver I would be home free. That's it! Someone out there invent a fake liver that works like a real one but does not get CANCER.
Well, I don't feel as anxious today because I already know I have progression in my liver. Mostly today I need prayer that my BX can be scheduled in the next few days. Because we all know nothing will be scheduled for Christmas week. If I have to do this thing, change TX and have BX, I want to get on with it. No more waiting around to see how much it grows, I'm done with that scenario.
All I want for Christmas is a liver BX. Lol, lol,lol. We speak a totally different language than non MBCers. Ha I know all of you get it. 💞🎄🎅🎂
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Grannax~In your pocket today. Don't mind the crunching. Mae always brings great snacks. We are with you sweet friend. I had my scanning and blood work done around thanksgiving... I have to say they were backed up and it took forever to get any results. I hope this doesn't effect your quest for your Christmas wish. I am with you, we all are. Holding your hand. Team FU! Showing up for duty!
Much love ~M~
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Thank you all for the many compliments on my daughter. She makes being a mom easy. And she is the one who is getting married.
Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to graduation. Woke up and couldn’t catch my breathe, body aches, coughing and vomiting. I’m just the worlds best mom, right? I never dreamed of all the things this disease would rob me of, not while I’m living. I knew it robbed me of a future, but we should be allowed to enjoy the important things happening now.
New problems I get to discuss with onc tomorrow - I can’t take big deep breaths because my ribs (or the muscles) HURT whenever I do. Some are tender to the touch. Because of this and stupid allergies, I feel like my lungs are filling up with gunk. I literally cough and cough and cough until I can get some of the nastiness up. I pray this is a normal person problem and not cancer related.
Last week was so good; I was tired but I was able to participate in life. This week (chemo week 1) I’ve slept for 3.5 days straight, have this lung thing, this new rib thing and the ever present nausea. At least I’m vomiting less this cycle. Onc is probably gonna be pssed when I tell him I took chemo for 7 days and haven’t for the past 2 days. He prescribed 14 on, 7 off; but I had zero quality of life trying that sooo I decided to try the 7/7. Wish me luck. And please send prayers that my stupid cancer has not progressed.
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Gracie I am so sorry that instead of being a happy time of year it's turned into a sad time. If I remember right you just came back from visiting your family. Is there any way that you could move close to them? I currently have my 17 year old daughter, son, and his two children both under 4 that kind of keeps my mind off of the cancer and what could happen.
Micmel- i'm glad that your scans came back so good! Now if the ritalin will just kick in and give you some energy.
Sheila- I know that it was disappointing not being able to make it to your daughter's graduation (this disease just sucks!!!) it seems that with the chemo it will still work for you whether you do 7/7 or 14/7 I mean it sounds like you got the big dose in your system.
Has anyone hear from Bighome?
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Sheila~OMGOODNESS! Nooo. Son of a &:$:!:!:$:!:!!!! You have every right to feel frustrated with stupid cancer. If you remember I know how you feel. It prevented me from seeing my daughter getting married. Her vows! Along with a little dispute and my illness won out. I wasn't happy at all. Maybe focus more on the wedding and give her a special gift from you and your DH alone with her. You're doing the best you can with a shittt disease. You should be more than proud. I experienced burn out. You know you will as well! Try to know that ahead of time and give yourself a mental break occasionally. And don't blame yourself for things you just simply cannot do. We love you so much you ARE a wonderful mother! She's amazing!
Holmes~ well hello stranger. I had been starting to worry about you. It's always nice to see your smiling face here. I hope things are well an you're not too overwhelmed with this Christmas hubbub. I texted Bigbhome two weeks ago and she was super busy as usual. I haven't gotten an answer to my most recent. I will try again soon. I just don't like to be too annoying. Lol. I'm sorry I just care a lot. Hugging you! Don't be away that long. Mama bear worries ! much love ~M~
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Hi all! CT body scan results are in and I’m told they’re “all good” but no details yet. Once she said scans were good, we launched into some tamoxifen related anger issues I’m having. I’m normally super mellow but lately I’ve been flying off the handle over minor annoyances. Looks like I’ll be seeing someone for anger management tips, more medication is a last resort for me.
Gracie, grannax, Sheila, I’m sorry for what you are all going through, big hugs to you.
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*waves*
Hope everyone has a good Monday so far. Love everyone’s pictures
such beautiful ladies and big milestones! Congrats Shelia for your daughter! Marian I dyed my hair blue...why not! It was so fun having crazy hair as I was raised in a very strict Christian household where you don’t do that sort of stuff. I’m glad I did. You never know when you will get another chance.
Saw my MO today and she saw my skin mets...long story short I’m starting Halaven next Monday! And I get some numbing pain patches so thank goodness. Hoping this works and it’s too tough to handle. Hair will be gone, buuuut I’m getting extensions put in the week before the wedding so I hope my hair will hang on till after then and I can remember what long locks feel like.
Micmel I’m so happy you had such a wonderful thing happen with the gifts! I know it’s been rough lately so I like to think of those things as God’s way of reminding us he is caring for you, hang in there, your not on your own in this.
Mae overall good news! Feels like it’s always a mix...another fire to put out. You are a strong lady for sure. Hopefully that troublesome little imp of a spot will start behaving without all his friends around? As long as he doesn’t invite anymore! This party is closed!! Let’s gets to the clean-up the house part of the story.
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Mae~ 🥁🥁😬👍 🎺 congrats for good scans. I am sorry that you have the “ranger"... that's what I call it... my rage and anger combined. Also try to remember that having someone living in. Your house changes your daily life. Is your house guest still there ? Please teach us anger management,because I feel like kicking someone's ass everyday. 🤪
Parry~ my beauty. I have to agree that lately it seems like god is listening. I don't know how or why. But I had quite an experience recently that has swayed me a little more than I'd ever realized before. It was pretty awakening followed by slightly scary. But it happened and I know I'm not a loon. We need everyone getting good news and scans. Everything. Seriously this group has had enough. Twenty six tickets to paradise please!?
Mae~ I'm with you totally now that I think more about it, I could use some anger management classes. Seriously, if I ask someone a question. And they don't like answer me like that second. I'm like 👹👹🦁🙊🦂🐍🕷🦍🐲🐲⚡️🌬🌬🍷🥃🥃🤺🤼🚀🗿🌋☎️💣🗯. I think we all get the point. Lol
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Holmes, that would be great, but they live way out in high desert and it would be about 3 1/2 hours to an oncologist that I would trust. I’d have to go to Denver or Salt Lake City
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Gracie~ That sounds like one heck of a long ride. It would be so nice to be near your family though. I love Colorado and out west totally. I visited Colorado Springs when I was 16 and it was breath taking those mountains, almost as if it wasn't really real. Amazing really. Hope you're feeling better. I just got a shit load of colored pencils and I have been coloring. Very relaxing. Women enjoy coloring some do not. I also love those search a word puzzles. And puzzles over all. Mae used to do quite a lot of them. Almost bedtime yay us! Much love ~M~
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