My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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I do not have metastatic breast cancer, but spend a lot of time wondering when it's going to show up. No, my life is not on hold. I am getting on with things more and more. But this is a bad month, the month of diagnosis, the Black Shadow month. I wonder if that's why I've been feeling particularly down lately.
That was a whole lot of raw, real writing I just read. Truth. Those who speak of withdrawing ... oh yeah, I get that. I feel like I can't blend in anymore. Like oil on water. Those coffee meetings with girlfriends feel wrong now, like the ability to be carefree and bubbly is gone from me. Not that I was ever bubbly, more like oozey, like a burping volcano, but still, I have a mind that is never unburdened, even as I pretend like hell that I am. It's like dog paddling in rapid water with a fridge tied to your ass, keeping the head above is tough. I no longer want to pretend that I'm okay. I feel sad all the time. People are sick of hearing it. I'm sick of feeling it.
I have to be honest and say I was offended by one of the bits of information that BC.ORG has posted on the page I sign in from, that many women find more positive than negative experiences with their breast cancer once they've had counselling or therapy (or whatever the hell it said). I read it and thought huh, here is a bit of polished propaganda that would probably NOT stand up to rigorous peer review and probably the assessment criteria would come under heavy fire. But more than that, there was a tone that made me spagg a little. Like, did you know that if you just get your head screwed on right you will realize that cancer is a gift and blessing and suddenly you can embrace life and sing and make friends with strangers and small woodland creatures and forge forward suddenly successful and beautiful and oh for fuck's sake. Really? Here? On THIS site? Are you kidding me with this shit? I thought who ever decided that was an appropriate bit of information to post here was having an off day. Like the day after you drink way too much tequila. Bad judgement all over that. It was insulting. Insulting to every unsupported individual who has no one to watch the kids or pay the bills or no idea how their family will survive after they're gone, let alone get magical counselling to make lemonade with metastatic lemons.
A while ago I told Micmel to hold on, the sun will find her. I believe that. Not blind faith, but more the predictability of the sun. I have to take my own advice lately. I hope the sun finds all of us and I hope we recognize it in those moments it glints through.
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Hi, I am just catching up with the last few days and deeply saddened by the loss of Lynne, (Man). She was one of the regular posters when I joined this group. She came across as a lovely person. I send my condolences to her family. As others have said, I'm sure she died of a broken heart.
Micmel, sorry to hear of the death of your grandmother. She reached a grand old age.
In Europe we do not have advertisements for cancer drugs, so thankfully not faced with overly wonderful images. I can appreciate how infuriating it would be.
I am hoping to meet up with Marianelizabeth next week! Will post a picture when we get a suitable day. Looking forward to it!
Enjoying my time with family. The kids are so wonderful! We are going away for the weekend. I think the parents could do with the break. I'd forgotten how exhausting it is to have kids, work and home to look after. Love to all x
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Rurnor I must be a tree with how many metastatic lemons I have growing. When is the off season where all this fruit goes away or does that mean i don’t get to be happy about having cancer?
There have been some good things that have come of my diagnosis, but the negative have their own Facebook account (and now tree?).
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I have to tell you our front porch turned out to be the worst constructed home improvement ever done on our home—and we’ve done it all over the years! Installed a new bathroom, complete kitchen remodel, remodeled an old bathroom, siding, roof, windows, back porch, had a 3 car garage built and more.
Less than a month after the front porch was complete and we painted it, dh opened the front door to see the boards in the middle all buckled, heaved into a high arch! He was so speechless he couldn’t even tell me what was wrong when I said, “What? What?” as he gasped and his hand flew up to his mouth. The flooring proceeded to buckle in other places, gaps appeared between the face boards on the front of the porch and the railing has pulled apart in three or four different places! Can you even believe it! Somewhat of a nightmare and NOT what we wanted to be dealing with. Dh totally gave the contractor a....well, he really chewed him out. The contractor has to come back early this spring to redo the whole thing. HEADACHE
On a brighter note, my extended family is very excited that my sister’s son, in his 4th year of medical school, will learn on Friday where he will be doing his residency. It’s called Match Day and very exciting for all of us. He interviewed with a number of hospitals in different areas of the U.S. and will find out which of them would accept him in their program. I’ve learned medical schools across the nation all hold Match Day on the 3rd Friday of March when about 34,000 medical students learn where they are heading next.
My sister invited me to go to Match Day, but I had to decline because dh and I are going to see the country band Alabama in concert that day, which I’m also looking forward to. But my nephew’s official graduation is in May. I’ve cleared my schedule to go to that!
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Donna, My heart goes out to you as you go through this most difficult day. There are no words that will relieve your grief. I know you feel guilty, but it was not in your power to save James’ life, and your guilt, although understandable, is not deserved.I hope that someday you will be able to put the good memories ahead of the pain, remember all the wonderful things you did to enrich your son’s life as well as everything he did to bring light into yours, There are no explanations for losses such as the one you suffered. For today all I can offer you is some strength to make it through and some hope for better days ahead.
Love and prayers from, Lynne
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Divine~No WAY!!!! That’s so shitty. I’m so very sorry. I can’t even imagine the frustration you guys are feeling. Wow, like you just can’t hire good help anymore. Even get quality products or craftsmanship! Congrats on the match day! Hope the year match him with a really good school! Residency wow that’s amazing! What a wonderful young man. My step son is going pre med as well! It is very exciting.. IMO.... it takes a special someone to be able to work those hours and do that type of work! We need more young ones to enter the math and science fields. We are are falling behind in this field. I wish him nothing but success! Sorry about your porch! Honestly. It was supposed to be relaxing. Not stressful..
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DivineMrsM I learned all about Match Day about 6 years ago. My son was matched to Scott and White in Temple, Texas. Now he's in his second year at his "real job". Residency was tough on him, his wife and two little kids. But, I know they all say it was worth the wait and work. He is an anesthesiologist and loves his job. They own their "Dr.Home" now. It's very nice. So, the future looks great for your nephew. I'm happy for him. It will be a proud moment when you go to his graduation and watch him be "hooded".
I wish all of you could have a break from TX like I'm having right now. I'm on a mission to get as much accomplished in the next two weeks as possible. I have energy most days which has allowed me to put some finishing touches on my new farmhouse kitchen. I'm going to recover the old chairs for my little farmhouse table. Is anyone into antiques? These chairs must be very old, maybe 1800. I've had them 32 years, bought them at a huge flea market near here. While I was taking the fabric off, I noticed how solidly they are built. No nails. All done with wooden pegs. Very heavy. I noticed them because they have horse heads carved on the back. I bought burlap to use for the upholstery. They will really match my decor when I'm finished. I have a little painting to do on signs and plaques. Then except for my floor, I will be done.
It's less than two weeks until I see my new MO. I think first on the list will be scans.They are gathering all my records now. Little do they know how many pages will appear from my 27 year history of BC and MBC. Yikes
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Grannax, fascinating about chairs being built with no nails!
Love hearing about your son’s doctor journey. Its great to know he loves his job. My nephew really messed up his life when he was younger and miraculously pulled out of that nosedive. Which deeply thrills me for my sister. He then worked his way up, going to community college for a respiratory therapist degree while working in housekeeping at a local hospital. Got that degree, got a respiratory therapist job at same hospital and went on for a 4 year degree at another college while still working. At that college, he was strongly encouraged by several faculty members that he had what it took to go for a doctor’s degree, so after his four year degree, he applied and was accepted to medical school. He’s in his 30s, not married and no children, and it’s been tough enough, so I can only imagine what your son juggled. My nephew thought he was interested in ER work, but in doing all the clinicals, he found himself drawn to being a hospitalist, loosely defined as physicians whose primary focus is the general medical care and coordination of care of hospitalized patients. He seems to thrive in a hospital environment and prefers that over a clinic or private practice. It’s so interesting to gain insight into all that goes on as one becomes a doctor.
Speaking of hospitals, I have a ct and bone scan coming up tomorrow. It’s the first one I’ve had since last March, at which time I asked the onc could I get them only once a years rather than twice. She sort of reluctantly agreed, and my goodness, it’s so much less stressful andless disruptive. I feel less tethered to the cancer care center. It’ll be a long day and will glad to get it over with!
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Thinking of Donna and her family.
Hi Grannax~ good to hear of your energy! I wish we could all experience that! Love hearing about your renovations. Make me eager to start some of my own...
Divine~ that's a heck of a story... but shows people can rebound and do great things. How nice to hear ofsuch a success story! Hope the porch re-renovation..... goes quickly!
Gracie??? 💐 thinking of you
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Divinemrsm. There's more to my DS, sort of along the same line as your nephew. It shows perseverance pays off. Ty went to UT in the Business college, but he was also an elite gymnast dreaming of a spot on the Olympic Team. Then, because of financial crisis due to my first DX of BC, he had to come back home. He incurred a competition ending injury to his shoulder. He kept plugging along in community college but couldn't find his niche. So began his first career, gymnastics coach. He won state with his boys team several times. Eight years later he got married, that changed everything. He started back to college immediately. While juggling his coaching, being a new husband, then father he piecemealed his undergraduate degree at UT Dallas. Then he applied two times and was not accented to medical school. He decided go for his master's at UT Health and Science. There he earned straight A's and was automatically accepted to Medical School. Four grueling years later, and another child he graduated. Then residency for four years. A total of twelve and a half years later, his wife working to support them, two little kids and his father dying, he reached his goal. He is almost 45 and just two years into his career.
I think stories like his and your nephew's are truly amazing. I also think the older students make the best doctors.
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Grannax, I got tears in my eyes reading of your son’s dreams, setbacks and determination to keep moving forward without ever giving up. That impresses me so much. What a fascinating story! God bless him. He will look back someday and wonder how the heck he juggled it all. I have to admit, sometimes I look at doctors and think they have it made, but we really have no idea how they got to where they are. I know you are so proud of your son!
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Today the billing office from the hospital where I'll scan tomorrow called. The conversation went something like this:
H: "Are you aware how your insurance works?"
Me: Yes
H: "Then you know you have a $750 deductible. The scans cost $9,000 and the hospital has an agreement with your insurance to charge $1400. You have a co-pay on that as well, so your total bill will be $894. Okay? The bill was $9,000 and has been whittled down to $894.”
Now at this point, I think she was hinting for me to say, "Oh, GEE, is that all I owe? Or something to that effect like I was happy about it. But no way am I going to be cheerful to someone calling to tell me I have a bill of over $800. I'm glad to have insurance and also the money to pay for the scans, but seriously.
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Grannax~I agree quite a story! Nothing like a real success story with real hard work. Thank you for sharing. I am going to share it with my step son.... he is going pre med.. lots of hard work ahead of him. Hope he’s ready!!!
Divine ~ I am dealing with the exact same thing. Honestly. The phone calls never stop. It’s disgusting how they think it’s just ok to expect that amount of money for one scan. I am going to speak to my onc also! I’m sick of the bills.
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It must have hurt their bankers little heart being good guy Hospital & Co....you didn’t say thank you and kiss their feet!?
Healthcare, insurance, medical device companies and more have set themselves up so that by the time the ppl have become outraged and pillaged enough trying to just live and see tomorrow, they will have lined their pockets for generations to come.
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Mel, so sorry about your grandmother. I lost my beloved gran in 1982 & I still think about her almost every day. I hope all is going well with your dad. I know it's a lot of work for you but you're lucky to have this time with him. I would give almost anything to have another day with my dad.
Runor, so sorry you're having a difficult month. Would it brighten your day to hear that you bring a great deal of sunshine to a lot of people on this board? Your posts are so well-written & I absolutely love your (often dark) sense of humor. Try to draw strength from your sisters here; we'll help you get through this!
Tanya, I loved your stories & pics of Hawaii. What a beautiful place to have shared with your mom. (Although your trip home sounded miserable! Hope you have recovered by now!) And I laughed when I read that Japan=JKL. I am currently trying to plan a trip to Japan with my DD & D(step)D so you (or your autocorrect) must be psychic!
Ladies, I loved all the stories of medical school & matching. My oldest DGD is currently a premed major (in her junior year at Willamette) so I may have all of this to look forward to in the future!
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So many med majors it’s really heartwarming since it does take a special kind of person to go into the medical field. DH’s sisters are pursuing med professions as well (and wanted to before my cancer). One wants to be a Nurse Practioner and the other a Pediatric Oncologist (I have a hard time with this as it will expose her to so much sadness). Mom was a nurse and I believe she also cared for cancer patients. Thank goodness for these people, but you wish you could shelter your loved ones from the hard parts of life
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It would be pretty amazing ro think one of them may be involved in finding more clues towards a cure for cancer! May they be gifted and wonderful doctors ! Exciting. To think of all the hard work. Especially now a days when entitlement is alive and thriving.
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Micmel, I wonder if Olivia Newton John ever has to show proof of insurance for medical procedures she gets in the hospital that's named after her? Does she even get a bill from them? Does some foundation pick up the tab? Or is she covered under the “buy one hospital, get free medical procedures" clause?
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Good morning all
Divine you’re going in on privilege this morning.
I understand though. Since they have all of these very successful reality TV shows maybe we could feature ourselves and let them pay us so we can buy their meds and make even more money off of us? That way professionals that served our country could pay for medical care @gumbdoctor.
Mae I appreciate you sharing your near death experience. Cause for reflection and gratefulness. Thanks
My friend is coming to visit me for 5 days while DH is out of town. We raised our kids together and worked at two jobs together. Looking forward to it.
Have a peaceful day all.
Tanya
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Hello lovely ladies. Tanya~Divine~ I believe everyone should have quality care. It just makes me wonder why she chose the word thriving when I don't even feel one ounce of energy and it feels like my body is in constant battle. She most likely doesn't have issues with any appointment making or test result torture, waiting through a holiday like happens to us a lot “when they get behind". Meanwhile we are waiting with every short breath to know. What they are. I'm sure she has her own suite when she had her mammogram(s)? I would not think she would ever get a bill. Either because they can afford it clearly. Or the hospital just doesn't bill her. I could be very wrong. But the way she was talking it was like it was the best experience in her recent days. She didn't discuss any side effects like a real patient would. Perky perky. The interviewer (Natalie Morales) kept it really light and whimsical, like it was just a stubbed toe. She did have reoccurances. I wouldn't want that for anyone. I would never wish that on anyone. Please don’t get me wrong. I just want the REAL face of MBC... to be shown.
Show how we beg to get out of bed somedays. Days filled with aches and pains and headaches. Or sore joints or rashes from radiation or scars that will never heal. She barely touches fear. It is as if they were blowing smoke up the viewers asses, especially the people who have cancer. I want real discussions on what really happens to us when our vein blows for the twentieth time. Just to get blood for some of us. It needs to be un glamourous. It needs to be stripped of make up and beautiful scarves and hair do's. It just wasn't an interview I would really recommend for someone who actually has this dreadful disease. We don't have hired help to research other ways to combat it even possibly naturally. We battle with co pays and idiot office staff in some cases. Desperately waiting for that call for the newest result or scan. It's just a peek into an unrealistic view from a regular person into a celebrity life that has so much more access, and the total obviousness of being treated totally differently, as a regular Joe. It is what it is, I just know I won't be watching another interview like that. We need awareness. Not fluff!
Love to all!!
Tanya enjoy your visit with your friend aeeet woman
Hug to you Divine!!!
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I agree Tanya!!! About Gumdoctor. It boils my blood thinking about it and it is another example of what I’m pointing out here!! Enough!
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Yes I'm very proud of my DS but right now there are family issues tearing me apart. I know all of us g ave shared how life goes on in spite of what we stage IV ladies are going through. That's what's happening to me.
My DD and I had a fight a few weeks ago. I lost my temper. She dropped me off in a parking lot 12 miles from home. It was appallingly behavior on my part and I believe on her part. The rest of the family believes her recollection of the events that led to the fight and drop off. Not mine. So their solution is to have a meeting with the five of us. Let me think about that "No" The four of them want to air their issues/ grievances they hold against me. All four and me, listening to them roast me. Not going to happen. So, I said I would agree to that if there could be an uninvolved person at the meeting with us. They agreed. But, first I wanted to meet with my counselor. I have three times. She's easy to talk to and I really like her. Today I go again.
So, yesterday and Tuesday have been a nightmare. My DD called demanding, scream that I cannot just brush this under the rug. What?!? I want to come and tell my side of the story. I said no, I'm not ready for that yet. Then later I told her that I will talk to my counselor today about her coming a couple of time, we have the most issues. Then the whole family can come to another visit.
But, my DS called and we had a long talk. Here's the clincher, I can only have supervised visits with my grandchildren until everyone has aired out their tension at the meeting. Evidently his wife is so mad at me she cannot control herself. The only good thing is that my grandchildren don't know about any of this. And he says his main goal is to protect them from ever knowing. I agree. They love me and need me. They will be hurt the most if I simply disappear from their lives.
Here's the cancer part. My visit is March 25. I'm sure she will order scans first. So, I will be in scanxiety mode until I get my results. Only then will she tell me what TX she will put me on. Anxiety. Also, my gut feeling is that my liver lung and chest mets have grown significantly since my last scan in December. You may recall that there was a big drama about my September scans. I stayed on Ibrance. Found out in December that didn't work, went on five weeks of Hell on Afinitor, and two weeks of Xeloda. So I've had almost six months of ineffective TX. What do liver mets do if they are not treated? Grow.
So, the infamous meeting will occur about the same time I'm finding out all these unknowns. Not good. I'm not sure I can handle both of these big deals at the same time. I shared all this with my son in a text late last night. It's like even he does not get what I'm going through. What to do?
I'm thinking I will just go crazy and admit myself to Terrell, our State psychiatric hospital. Problem solved. Ha.
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Grannax, I often say that I wish the world would stop spinning, just for a little bit, while I try to get my footing. Your world sure is spinning right now. It’s way enough for anyone to have to deal with, let alone someone with stage 4 cancer. That being said, I’m sorry but nobody should be left in a parking lot 12 miles from home! I don’t care what you did, to me that is appalling. I feel like you are doing the absolute right thing by bringing in a third party who is not emotionally involved. You are also right in speaking with your counselor as many times as you need to in preparation for your family meeting. Don’t they see that you are trying to work things out the correct way?? Stick to your guns regarding this! Can you avoid your daughters calls until then, not sure of your circumstances there. Cancer alone is a mind fuck, excuse my language but that’s exactly what it is. Do they not see the stress you’re under??? Are they aware of the uncertainty we live with every day?? Do they know what it’s like to live your life from scan to scan knowing that the other shoe can drop at any time?? Do they know how exhausting chronic pain is??? I’m so sorry that this is happening to you!!! Please know that we are here anytime if you need to vent. No judgment here, we all have family issues believe me!
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Grannax, obviously I have no idea what caused the family troubles but I commend you on your ability to accept responsibility for your part and while you don’t want to be “roasted”, I am impressed with the efforts to communicate and resolve this. When I’ve been extremely insulted or hurt, I’ll say screw it and walk away for good, family or not.
I wish you the best with family and scans 🙂
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Setting aside the issue of privilege and cancer treatment for a moment, I would like to focus on thriving. I never thought of that until you ladies opened that topic.
When I was first DX I went through treatment with flying colors. It was our first full year of retirement together and we bought a travel trailer and camped near our home once a month. Even with the loss of our oldest son three months after my treatment and SE of femara, I would say I was thriving.
The last year and half, with metastatic disease and the loss of real mobility(can't drive), I don't thrive. I live my life in three week increments or until my next pet scan. I had to put aside a completed novel that had an offer from a publisher because of sickness. The person I was really has died. The things I counted important have gone the way of pipe dreams. I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in someone else's life.
Don't get me wrong, I have moments of gratitude when I see my grandchildren succeed or just being silly. I love my butterflies and birds but it's been two years since I've climbed into my camper. My husband is a saint and is my caregiver.
I guess my final analysis would be that I spend a part of my day fighting to live in the now and get my house in order for the inevitable.By nature, I'm melancholy, the care giver of my family, sensitive to events and beauty around me-the perfect storm for nonthriving.
Sorry for the many words. It's y'all's fault for stimulating a chemo brain.
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Illiimae, I’m with you on that one!!! I’ve walked away and never looked back . No regrets!! I realize that some people don’t feel like it’s an option for them and I have to respect that but it’s made my life drama free.
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Grannax~ I am seriously speechless.... personally I would totally feel ganged up on for sure. I cannot fathom how you must be feeling. You have way too much going on. IMO, they should be ashamed of themselves. No one is perfect we know. But damn what you're going through has to pale in comparison to whatever got up her crawl. I unfortunately really. Really understand the feelings of family madness and annoyances that we can't control. Somehow, shit piles in front of our feet. I totally agree that someone should mediate, if you're even willing. Have these people ever heard of compassion and empathy. I feel like bitch slapping her. Supervised visits? For you! What??? Come on now!!! Seriously? What possible Harm could you cause. Too much love?
I'm So sorry you're going through this. This has been such. A hard few months for you. Don't you do anything you're not comfortable with. I've learned that a Long time ago with the misfits in my so called family. I am totally thinking of. You. You should have support, them knowing the fears of no treatment for weeks and weeks? How could they not be equally worried with you? That is some serious fear and stress there. Maybe you're allowed to be afraid and you won't be the shiny happy person all the time. It's exactly what I've been saying. People think we should be doing things another way. Well you know what people. We have cancer so please allow usto live and mourn and grieve and get mad when we NEED to, to just be able to take our next breath. How dare someone put regulations on you and relationships, when you are fighting for your life. 😡😡💔🥺. I love you sister. Gentle supportive hugs. And ps. Tell them from me. To walk a mile in our shoes.... then get back to me!
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JoE777 you capture the situation perfectly. Sadly.
Grannax ... oh my heart broke. I have bashed heads with my daughter and nothing rips the guts out of you like family can.
Not long ago DD and I had yet another eruption in a lifetime of such eruptions but this time something in me cracked. I thought, was I a perfect mother? No. Did I do my very best? Yes. Was I always examining what I did to see if I was being fair and allowing her space to have a voice? Yes. So do I deserve to be skewered and attacked on such a personal level? NO! I did something that pissed her off and I admitted that it had been stupid on my behalf. But her violent, ugly attack was not about the thing that I did, but was an attack on my heart and soul and me as a person and she was as hateful and ugly as she could muster the imagination to be.
Countries have agreed that there are some acts so heinous that they are not permitted, not even in war. Thus war crimes. There is an agreed upon level of intolerable human atrocity that we will not tolerate from each other without there being consequences. But somehow it's okay for our kids to take an issue and NOT keep it about the issue, but make it an attack on the person, heart and soul. This last time something in my head said OH NO YOU DON'T! You get to be mad at me, fair enough. But you do NOT get to slaughter my spirit in some rabid blood bath. That is not allowed. And that became my issue. Not that she was mad, but that she shit the bed of common human decency and moral obligation to another living human. I am open to discussion of ISSUES, I will never again stand there while some tells me what a pathetic, stupid, useless, filthy piece of shit I am. That person, no matter how much I love her, can go straight to hell.
I became an adult when I realized that my mother's transgressions against me were not done with malice and forethought, but because she was a person - just like I am. That she had bad days and things she wishes she had done differently, just like me. None of us had perfect parents and perfect childhoods. NONE of us. So what makes our dimwitted aged children think they were entitled to otherwise, and get to howl like scalded cats over events that were never done to them with malice? Like, grow the fluck up already.
Grannax, you may indeed have made bad decisions that hurt your kids (as we all have!) and you may indeed have to say 'you know, if I could do it differently, I would. I know it hurt you and I feel sick about it every day. You were my kids and I loved you even when I flubbed up as a mother. I am sorry for that.' But what you are NOT obligated to do is sit there to be personally whipped or called names or left standing on the curb 12 miles from home. That is abuse. And you do not need to show up for it. Ever. From anyone. So if you go ahead with this meeting, tell them they can bring up ISSUES that bothered them, but they cannot degenerate into personal attacks on you and your gross failure as a mother. Nothing heals when you take a stick and beat it. Yes, feelings must be aired, but personal conduct and HOW it happens is of critical importance in the difference between improving relationships or just taking a gratuitous licks at your mother.I know the heavy ball in the pit of your stomach for so many reasons and I know the tension and pain these eruptions create. Hugs to you.
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AGREE with everything said here.
Grannax - If it would help and I could make it happen logistically, I would love to be there to be your buffer and facilitator.
As a military officer for many years and most recently as an Army Colonel, I have had to deal with many confrontations. I know this is very different from family confrontations...I have had a few of those as well...especially with my overly zealous, overly religious, judgmental mother...
Since we each have to figure out how to deal with things our own way...I will suggest only one thing for you to consider. Instead of allowing a group to meet with you who are planning to "set you straight," how about meeting with them one at a time? This would give you equal footing with the person and you could feel much more empowered.
You have something going for you to call the shots that they do not have...you have a very serious medical condition and you can handle things only in a certain way...you set the stage...if you have to use the "cancer card" to deal with all this...DO IT.
This approach of divide and conquer the opposition...I have used it many times in my career. It has been the way I could slap down the mob behavior and hope to have intelligent, productive conversations to find solutions...and keep the drama on the other side of the door.
I hope and pray you will maneuver through this latest challenge. I believe in you and believe you can get through this and come out triumphant on the other side.
Gumdoctor
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My Army situation is heating up now...received the first phone call to set up first appt to start the medical board so they can decide if I get discharged with zero benefits or not...
Right along with some recent discussions about perky pinkwashing...this person gave me the old, tired, empty speech about these hards things in life are good because they give us something to overcome!!! She pushed my button with that one and I launched...
My response? You can't overcome stage 4 cancer!!! If you can tell me how to overcome stage 4 cancer after the Army failed to diagnose me for over 3.5 years, I would LOVE TO HEAR IT.
Her response? Well none of us get out of here alive.
So it doesn't matter that the Army killed me? It is ok because I was going to die sometime anyway?
More of the same Army unconscionable abuse I have been getting since I started feeling bad in 2011...3.5 years before bilateral stage 3 diagnosis. They didn't just miss one tumor, they missed two...
Ok. My rant is over. For now.
Gumdoctor
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