My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Grannax, I am sorry for everything you are going through. There is enough stress from mbc alone without adding in so many other things. I think you are handling things well. Rushing into a meeting could cause more issues than it would solve. I cannot post this message without adding that I was horrified to hear that you were dropped off in a parking lot 12 miles from home. I don’t know what the disagreement was about, but regardless of its source, your daughter’s behavior was uncalled for. I can think of no circumstances under which I would have dropped one of my parents, children, or even friend so far from home. I literally gasped when I read your words. I also understand why you are worried about progression. I had progression while on Faslodex/Ibrance in July. After several months on tamoxifen followed by scan then several months on xeloda followed by scan, the tumors continued to progress. It is still too soon to know if taxol is working, but part of me wants to skip scans and just assumed taxol is working. Who needs bad news?
I think that it is wrong to show any commercials for prescription meds. I think they are prone to misinterpretations and false hope. It sends patients to their doctors to ask for the meds even if they are not appropriate for their circumstances. Also, to use the mbc meds as an example, is there anyone in those commercials reminding people that Ibrance and verenzio do not actually cure the disease? I don’t think so.
As far as the special treatment that the rich and famous get from medical professionals, it bothers me a bit, but all the fame and fortune in the world are not enough to overcome a disease that has no cure. Famous people will still die, they will just spend more money along the way. The people on the other end of society are much more of a concern to me. Those are the people around the world who would consider many of us to be in a privileged class. Many people around the world have no access to adequate healthcare and in some cases no access to ANY healthcare whatsoever. Most of us have access to quality physicians and at least some access to tests, scans, and treatment. There are others who have to choose between buying medication and buying food. I am not saying that what we have is enough, but there are so many people who are much worse off than I am.
Since I am on a roll ( and maybe even driving people crazy), I also want to touch on the way mbc patients are shown in ads and how celebrities such as Olivia Newton-John describe themselves. I think it is important to remember that mbc affects each of us differently. There are people who seem to continue to live normal lives during treatment. Some of those people post on this thread. There are others who have limitations due to the location or type of their Mets as well as the way their bodies handle treatment. There is no one person who can represent all of us. The differences are not just physical but also emotional. How do we handle stress? How do we deal with an uncertain future? Am I a Gloomy Gus? a Suzy Sunshine? a constant worrier? A floater on that river of denial? Most of us fall somewhere in between those categories or move from one to another based on circumstances. Some of our reactions are built into our basic personalities. Some of it comes from past experiences or examples of others. None of those reactions are wrong. They are all normal. Celebrities? I think most of them want to show us their best sides and perhaps they want to keep some things to themselves, so they put together press releases that sound too good to be true. All of this is just my opinion, of course - just a bunch of words.
I am still reeling from the loss of Lynne (Man). I was hoping to go to her funeral, but I will be in NY.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Gumdoctor, Your situation is appalling. What a slap in the face to someone who has devoted her life to service to our country. I truly do not understand how they can begin to justify their proposed action.
Hugs and prayers from, lynne
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Ladies, today my onc looked at my scans and saw a spot on my spine lit up. She showed me on her computer. Of course, she says its not official till the radiologist does his report, but we discussed that is is probably cancer. She is changing me from Arimidex to an Ibrance/Aromasin combo.
This is my first time dealing with progression since chemo and rads back in 2011.
I am having a hard time concentrating, know nothing about Ibrance and feel like a newbie again! I could use some advice.
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Oh Divine, I am so sorry. The news must have hit you hard. There is a really good Ibrance thread that has many sweet, helpful, knowledgeable, supportive people contributing on a regular basis. (They also have great senses of humor.) They surely answer all your questions and give you many good hints. I was lucky when I was on Ibrance and Faslodex got 22 months. Some people have been on Ibrance for much longer than that. I did have lower blood counts, but I felt really good. I was on the full 125 mg dose of Ibrance for only one cycle because my blood counts went down to “seriously low” levels. I had much better luck on 100 mg. It is not at all unusual to have the dose lowered, and studies have shown that the lower level is just as effective as 125 mg. Now that I have given you that info, I will admit to you that I resisted going on Ibrance. I had read all the possible side effects and thought I would frequently be sick and in the hospital. Well, I was WRONG!!!! Although many people have lower blood counts, it is not common to contract a serious infection. Sometimes cycles of Ibrance need to be delayed so counts can’t rebound, but again, not uncommon. Fatigue is a common SE, but not everyone experiences that. When will you have the radiologist’s report?
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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50's Girl,
Thank you for your support.
This course of action is actually in a Department of Defense Instruction which means IT IS OFFICIAL POLICY.
If a person is a doctor (me) or is within 12 months of retirement or mandatory release date due to age (me), this little known clause applies to a medical board: PRESUMPTION OF FITNESS.
The way they explained it to me is because you are so close to "retirement" or your end of service, why should the Army go out of their way to help you with anything like extra benefits?
If I had 20 years in, I would at least get a regular retirement. But I will have only 19 yrs and some months in August so I do not qualify for regular retirement.
August is the month I turn 62 yrs old and it is my "mandatory release date." Yes the military is allowed to practice age discrimination whenever they want to.
Because I am a doctor and because I am less than 12 months from mand date, I fall into that clause and the med bd will, by policy, have ro come back with a decision that I AM FIT FOR DUTY and thefore NOT ELIGIBLE FOR DISABILITY OR INSURANCE COVERAGE OR MEDICAL RETIREMENT.
Essentially they will recommend I get kicked to the curb in August with nothing because I am fit for duty with stage 4 terminal cancer, that they failed to diagnose.
The very nice, highly professional civilian attorney, who is also paid by the Army to represent Soldiers in their med bd process, is the one who broke this news to me months ago.
He also claims he has the most experience in dealing with these cases and is THE GUY to help me get this decision overturned.
I take this with a grain of salt...numb in fact...only way I can deal with it...
Interestingly he is also a cancer patient...on experimental meds for lymphoma...has been at it for 25 yrs...he gets it...but is he going to be around to help me fight "BIG ARMY" when the time comes???
Chief of the Dental Corps took over from a friend of mine last summer, a general I worked with in the past...I had not heard from this new guy who I know casually...I reached out to find out if he was even briefed about me...by my "friend"....of course not!!! Then he wanted to know what I wanted HIM to do about it!??!!!?!?!?
I told him I was gathering my support at the highest levels if this thing goes the way of no benefits...he was not at all encouraging that he would lift a finger to help me fight it...
My husband is poised to go to our US Representative if this goes badly...
Enough ranting/venting....I can't believe it either...but here we are with the aftermath of the Army Medical Deparment's negligence in my case...it is up to me to deal with it...
As I have written in other posts, God is in charge of this, not these people, not me.
Thanks for listening/reading...
Gumdoctor
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Lynne~Sweet~Lynne~As usual you make some excellent points. Death is certainly death afterall. I realize no one can avoid it forever. I agree with you when you bring up the other end of the spectrum, ie..people like gum doctor.... people who have worked hard all their lives only to be denied some medicine and or care that must be had or what do you do? Young families that worry about getting that prescription for a child. Or the poor and or third world countries that really don't even have running clean water. No less any cutting edge treatments. It was apart of the frustration I feel when I see her sitting In her multimillion dollar living room , and her own facility dedicated to her. I agree completely that people live differently with this disease for sure, but I don't think for myself I'd use thriving ever. I'm a mental patient half the time... and carry around that smiling face stick, like yet another commercial for depression medication.
My spine met sucks!! It certainly sets up some limitations for me. Absolutely! Ibrance makes me a zombie.... yet there she was all chipper and shiny and happy. Walking through her nutritional garden of grown herbs and medical marijuana that her husband harvests for her on their 45 acre farm. Paid for a permit and liscense which costs at least a couple hundred thousand dollars, from speaking to the owner of the dispensary here. We all just lead. Different lives. Sometimes it is who you know.... connections. Money. Unfortunately money does make the world go around even if it can't buy you a healthy promise, but it can buy you the best treatment possible and have immediate access to the best out there. It can offer the most comfortable home, hospital,and many many caretakers. When most of us are lucky to have even one. My Dad is dying in a room with another man. If I was her, he may have his own facility. It's just sad that there isn't more attention being not only paid to MBC. But cancer of all kinds. There has to be something that can be done. Alteimers (spelling?), demensia....so much sadness and so much loss. I guess what it all comes down too is im angry. It's not her fault of course. That she is who she is, i realize I am who I am. I just want hope like Everyone else. I want a cure.
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Divine~~~~~~~~~🥺 ugh! Everyone of us fears that damn word. I am hoping against hope that it is some sort of inflammation. I have been on ibrance now starting my 28th month this week. I’m exhausted. I’m not going to lie. 125 mgs the entire time.i catch every cold. Every single sickness that comes my way. I wash my hands until they a raw for fear of sickness, my hair Carmen back beautifully. And has grown like a weed.. healthy and thick. My nails are still growing also. The main thing for myself is fatigue. I know Tanya is Also on ibrance I believe. My mouth gets sore some weeks, eating is a must, which I have failed miserably at. I just am Not hungry much. I’ve lost around 25 lbs since diagnosis. I’ve had the heavy chemos. But went straight to ibrance and have been on it ever since. Some weeks are better than others. We love you sister!
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Divine - I too hate to read that dreaded P______ word in your post.
I will face it too when my turn comes...I finish Ibrance/Faslodex cycle 15 in one week...any time now...
You encourage and inspire so many of us here...and I believe you will continue doing the same, even with this course change.
Thinking of you and praying for the best possible outcome for you,
Gumdoctor
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Divine, next month I will have been on Ibrance for 4 years. It has been very tolerable for me. I’m on 100 mg since the second cycle. Fatigue can be an issue, for me it comes and goes. Any questions, ask away! I’m sorry to hear of your progression. The stress of this cancer is staggering . Gum doctor, WTF???!!! This is how our government treats our veterans???!!! Lynne, hope your treatment is going well, you are such a lovely person.
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oh Divine, this is crushing to me. You have gone as many years on one protocol, without progression, as I have gone for on 6 or 7 protocols (with bouts of progression). It is not fun to change, because you never know what lovely side effects you will or won't get. Ibrance fir me was quite tolerable, and I made it almost two years on it before progression. The good news is , you are like a newbie...you have EVERYTHING still in front of you to try...plus all the new stuff that keeps coming out. I don't think you are going anywhere, lady. I am sorry you have to deal with this now. You have followed all of us and you know what is ahead of you. We are all here for you for anything you need.
AB Sunset
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oh, and Divine.... you are still oligo, as you know. That spot can also be cyberknifed. I have had five spots in different locations on my spine. None of them caused pain or discomfort. And all of them were zapped with the knife. And all of them have healed accordingly.
Sunset
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Hello to everyone from the somewhat thawing out Northeast.
Gosh-intense reading here on this thread, leaving a lot to ponder.......
Thinking of you, Grannax, with what sounds like such painful family discord-you must feel such a range of emotion. Dropping you off 12 miles from home, in a parking lot? What was your DD thinking? To have this turmoil on top of MBC just seems like too much- I am beseeching the heavens for some relief for you, dear one.
Divine- the word progression in our MBC world is the nastiest "swear" (as my DGS used to say.) it is a gut punch and takes time to adjust. I found Ibrance to be very tolerable and I sure hope it goes that way for you. Holding you in my thoughts.
Gumdoctor-WTF? Something is amiss here.... So, the army won't give you retirement benefits....is this the same government who will approve you for SS Disability in three weeks because you have a terminal diagnosis? I can't make sense of this. Can you go in the reserves for a period of time to get to 20 years?
So, I just purchased a book about talking to children about death and how to help them with grief, terminal illness, etc. I was reading it today, and later it dawned on me (duh) that all of us are really in an intense state of grieving. And, the book stresses the fact that every person grieves so individually, sort of relating to the point that 50'sGirl had made. What really struck me, however, was the two page list of how grief can affect the human body. The lists of the possible behavioral, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual components of grief blew my mind. No wonder we are all all over the place with our thoughts, anger, frustration levels and coping strategies....
Well, after getting my 1st Doxil infusion almost a week ago, I am happy to report no noticeable SE's. I absolutely CANNOT believe it. My WBC's will tank, of course. And maybe more SE's as we go along---BUT I'll take this for now.....
I am thinking of everyone of you, as the pain and frustration expressed here lately is so tangible that it is emanating from my computer screen. And I am right there with you, sisters, every step of the way..
Love, Mary Jane
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Mary Jane - Thank you for Reserves suggestion. No they would not allow that due to age. And I would not be able to fulfill responsibilities anyway. Age discrimination...and I am no longer fit for duty.
Gumdoctor
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Another new Ibrance commercial, this time it’s Corey. She is very active, looks great, goes lots of places and never seems tired or in pain. Really not in the mood tonight.
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Gum doctor ~ can't you just apply for disability through the federal Level, disability is disability.?? I think that is just plain disgusting. Just like the poor vets that are in long ass waiting lines for even a Check up.. some are still waiting. Those people sacrifice their lives for decades (some) and then what. Nothing ? I'd definitely call the representative and every newspaper and television station on the television. That is not going to fly. I wonder how many others they have treated poorly... maybe seek out some of those. There is power in numbers wishing you the best for sure !
Grannax~ if anyone dropped me off 1 Mile feeling the way I feel away from my home. I don't know if I would even be able to talk to that person again . That's just plain disgusting. No less have that be your own child. This disease is just shitty. People look at us and if we take oral medication, people don't think we are sick. I hear it all the time. Omg you look great. I guess not fitting the sick profiled look isn't such a great idea if you wanted to be treated with respect while fighting for your life. If you aren't bent over and frail, pale and complaining every second. Then to them you must be fine. Take your time and think about what's best for you. Don't be pushed into anything.
A beautifulsunset~Thank you for mentioning cyber knife. I like to keep things in my back pocket should indeed to utilize every potential aid in the future for combatting pain.
MJH~I find the content of the book you're reading fascinating. I believe strongly that everyone grieves differently and in stages as well. Some people deal with it quite well, while Others just never recover from some difficult losses... ie a child god forbid. (💔thinking of Donna) or a spouse. Many i am sure. Another heartbreak for sure. I also totally believe that loss and grief can kill you. That is pain I dont intend to mess with. That sadness would physically break me down. Piece by piece. I would wither away into nothing. Strength and death aren't in the same thought for me. But yet they are forced upon you. Interesting reading.
Lynnwood~ 4 years 🙇♀️!!! So incredibly awesome! I'm glad that it is tolerable For you.. somedays are for me too. But fatigue is a bear. Somedays I just sleep and sleep. I could sleep for a living, if someone would pay me! You're an inspiration! You go friend!! 😁🥰! Okay off to bed. I feelIcky today. Hope tomorrow is better. For everyone ! Much love ! ~M~
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Grannax I’m sorry you are goi g through a shit storm right now. Meeting one at a time is a good suggestion. Another suggestion that might seem dumb, although, it has help my husband and I keep it straight and think about our words so things don’t get confused and words aren’t put in others mouth....we use a notebook to write and converse over our issues. Maybe it could help if both parties are willing. Either way I hope things get smoother over and resolved so you can have some peace.
Gumdoctor im just disgusted they would take everything away. My brother just got his retirement from the Army a few months ago. He has health issues that have been caused by his service that, cancer or not, the Army should pay to have his healthcare covered. His service could have meant him not being here today. He was lucky in that respect so even if he didn’t have health issues or cancer (he doesn’t have cancer) he should still be taken care of for offering up his life in service for us to sit here and watch tv and go to the movies freely. That said his wife asked for a divorce the day he was flying here for my brain surgery. Since then she has lied and done illegal things to try to get the most out of my brothers retirement. She would know...it’s what she did with her first husband. That kind of stuff makes me mad. Yeah she is entitled for some as it is the spouses who are affected by their SO’s service. That’s different from being grossly unfair. I hope they take their heads out from where the sun don’t shine and do what’s right.
Divine well f*** was my first thought, but there are options and other things to try. It sucks I imagine since you get comfortable with where you are at and you know what to expect from the drugs...you’ll get back there
Had spinal mri today. So scared of the results. Been having issues going to the bathroom no matter the number. I’m afraid there is cancer in the spine but you know how that goes. We think the worst. Hopefully will know by Monday.
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grannax- i just don’t think you should take their demands. I think you need to take care of yourself first and tell them you will deal with them later. You just don’t need added stress. Work on you first.
I feel we as women pu ourselves last way too many times. I know for a fact I do. I’d do anything for anyone to make them happy and never give a crap about me. Cancer enters your life and it all changes. No one stops for me. No one thinks of me before themselves. Some days I plain think people forget I have cancer and can’t do life’s like I used to.
Mae - I can totally relate to the car accident. I was in a very bad head on crash last year about this time. It was my fault. My first reaction was to yell back to my daughter “are you ok” I then got out of that car and ran screaming to the other person “are you ok” I didn’t think if I was ok. I didn’t think it might be dangerous for me to get out of the car. I did think I’m shocked I’m here! God must have some plan for me. Then I thought I sure the heck hope it’s not to live a long drawn out death.
One of my favorite lines from a song “everday above ground is a good day, remember that”
Sarah
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where are you going for treatment?
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Gumdoctor, wow, what an outrage over your situation. Its smart tobring in your U.S. rep if needed. What about consulting legal assistance from someone not tied to the department of defense?
Grannax, it sounds like a smart decision not to have your kids gang up on you in a meeting, 4 against 1. I hope the counselor can help your family sort through matters. I know its a process. Really, your kids' spouses should take a back seat and try not to get involved, this should be a matter between you and your kids. But I know a lot of people want to jump in to add their two cents worth. I wish you all the best. But I could kick all your kids in the shins for treating you like this.
50s girl, thank you so much for your kinds words of support. It is very helpful for where my head is at with this new news. Lynnewood and BeautifulSunset, it's also helpful to know you tolerate the ibrance and that its not too rough a treatment. Everyone else who's offered encouragement, I appreciate it greatly. I will check out the thread on ibrance. The onc's nurse is getting things set up with getting it all ordred and insurance approvals, ect. I didn't know it was that involved and that it has to come from a specialty pharmacy.
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Just a little side note on the Olivia Newton John topic. I remember so well when I first heard about her. It was in the 1970s. I was riding in the car with my best friend's mother. She and her husband were the only people I knew who listened to country music. One of ONJ’s early hits, maybe “Let Me Be There” came on the car stereo. Best friend's mom said, “ I'm curious to see what this Olivia Newton John looks like because all the djs do is talk about how gorgeous she is." And hearing that made me curious, too, because best friend’s mom never really talked to me like that before. Thhe 70s, of course, were not the visual explosion we have today, and back then a singer's physical image wasn’t plastered everywhere. My only exposure to country music was the Hee Haw Show on TV, very farmer-ish looking and/or lots of fringe and sequins. When I did see ONJ, she truly was this ethereal vision of beauty and ushered in a new wave of country music, and I liked her hits.
I do find it interesting that this brief mention of ONJ in the car all those years ago has stood out in my mind.
And tho there have been lots of remakes (too many) of Grease, none will ever capture that iconic, exciting moment at the end when ONJ struts out in a tight black catsuit driving John Travolta crazy while they sing Your The One That I Want. I remember when I saw it, it being one of the best moments ever in movies. And ONJ is one of the top selling recording artists of all time. So I do respect and admire all of that, and I know her celebrity status has allowed her to help countless others with bc. She has an autobiography out now, and my name is on the list at the library to get it. I'm sure the book will detail more of what she's gone through her whole life and not just be the fluffy stuff TV puts out about her. I do wish her well.
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welcome Moonshine~. Our treatments are all over the place. If you meant Divine. I believe it was falsodex and something else. Anastrazole? She will be able to answer better!
Parry~Hello lovely girl... was with you in pocket spirit yesterday! It better be nothing !!! I get so upset at the loss of control I feel when my sisters deal with this. I do realize, sometimes I will someday experience this as well. I hope I'll have a good sized pocket.. I'll need you all.
Divine~ I also do like ONJ very much myself and in full agreement that she really is an icon. She worked and I don't be grudge her hard work and obviously a great career and history. I guess the point I was trying to make is She can make sure she has the best of everything , as we all sit by with astonishing shock that one of our sisters for example worked just as hard if not even harder., has to fight to have her medical disease covered by the government!!!!!!! Disgusting.
Grease was also wonderful (when John travolta was normal) and no remake will ever equal up to the original one because of those two and the chemistry. She was and still is such a beauty. I would never wish anything on anyone ever dealing with this beast or any disease. I Just want it to be a natural thing for someone who has to see a doctor can just do so without worry or struggles. Especially in this day and age. Gumdoctor should not be worrying about this while battling cancer ! But there is ONJ who pretended as an actress and sang like a beautiful bird. But you don't hear her having to contact any representative for help!!!! I also wish her well , I wish anyone well with this awful disease handed out to themI admire anyone who battles cancer. Just plain evil. I just want everyone to have the same opportunities and chances. Keep us posted on the porch dilemma!! I'm so sorry !! Much love ~M~
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Micmel, I agree with every single one of your ONJ comments.
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the bachelor finale was something else. I don’t know how they could make this shit up! Lol
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Parry, jumping in your pocket too and hoping for good news.
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Does anyone feel defeated when they leave their onc appointments? Don’t get me wrong, my onc is very through, very observant, up to date on all the latest treatment options, and extremely responsive in letting me know test or scan results. She’s also very personable and never rushes me on my visit. So why do I feel worse after I leave there? I feel like she lacks in positive reinforcement. I’m not stupid and I know that what I have is terminal but I feel like I’m 4 years in next month and holding stable on my first line of treatment. She never talks about my progress and never will admit that some of my symptoms are side effects of my treatment, even though she knows they are. I mentioned to her yesterday that my hair has really thinned lately and I got crickets. Same when I complained about my horrible sweating.. crickets. Sometimes a simple “ wow, you’re doing good” would go a long way. I get ok I’ll see you in 8 weeks, I’m a phone call away if you need anything. My husband goes with me to all of my appointments and thinks that I am over reacting. I think maybe going there brings everything all back and brings out the fear that I have of what the future holds. Now I’m in a bad funk today. Does anyone have any coping mechanisms?
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it's absolutely PTSD I hate going there. The damn gown and the poke poke check ankles. Are you in any pain. Like really ? How do you quantify never not being in pain.? Achey constant rambling pains. I call the jumpers. My onc Is Japanese, Hes amazing. But doesn't talk a lot. I know when he Is happy with me, he says things like you're a doing beautiful and when I mentioned my sweats. He issued Effexor. And it helped tremendously. Yes we are terminal. How horrible to even have to say that to someone else no less hear it pertained to you. Today the sun was shining, honestly I hate sweating. Spring is nice and all, the allergies start and then I realize even more how
Much I hate my new broken body. Clothing is very tricky. I'm giving you a hug and telling you. Hey you're doing great!!!!!!!
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Lynnwood, I know I am not a doctor and that you would rather hear this from your onc, but I think you are doing great! It is amazing and fantastic that you are still on your first line of treatment after almost four years. To me, that is a reason to celebrate, sing, shout, and dance. So, I am doing the happy dance for you. Have you ever asked your onc how she feels you are doing, if she thinks it is amazing that things are being held at bay, if she agrees that your SEs are, in fact, SEs? Some people really do need a direct question. They seem to be oblivious to the fact that words of encouragement can go a long way in making someone’s day. Perhaps it is time to let her know how her absence of those words make you feel. As far as your dh is concerned, I think that it is impossible for anyone except us to know what it feels like to have mbc. Even those people closest to us are unaware of our deepest feelings and emotions. I am sorry that I have no better advice for you, but I do offer you a big WOOHOO for the continued positive response to treatment. WOOHOOO! WOOHOO!
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Micmel and Lynne, you guys just made me cry happy tears with your kind words! Oh how they have touched my heart!! Just what my bruised ego needed!! I have thought about telling her how I feel but I guess that I don’t want her positive reinforcement if it doesn’t come freely from her. I think I’m my own worst enemy. Micmel, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it was PTSD. Lynne, I do believe that she is one that needs a direct question. When my first onc retired and I met this one I asked her what her philosophy of treating MBC was. She was very surprised that I asked her that. I pointed out that she was a complete stranger to me and that I was literally putting my life in her hands and that it would take me a while to adjust. I thank you ladies for helping me when each of you have your own things going on. I hate when I get in these funks and I hope it passes soon. Love to all!0
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Lynnwood ~ I believe that is why we are here. To support each other no matter what. My onc was thrilled with my 28 months. He would backflip over you! Keep tough and I will too!! Much love right back!
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Tomorrow is Lynne's funeral, and I didn't want that day to pass without sharing some of my thoughts about her. I always enjoyed reading about Lynne's vacations and family. I was amused to learn that someone who shared my first name and even its spelling lived only about 5 miles from me.
I first met her face-to-face at the oncologists' office. She was checking out as I was checking in. She was telling the receptionist that she had just returned from Jamaica, a trip she had talked about online. She was wearing a colorful hat with long black braids. It was a stark contrast to her fair skin. It was a great fit to her colorful personality and her wonderful smile.
Lynne and I soon exchanged phone numbers and met several times for lunch. I was so comfortable being with her. Each time we met we talked from the time we sat down until we reached our cars to leave. I learned about her childhood, her school days, her history with her high school sweetheart who became her husband, her parents, her children, the jobs she had held, and her friends. I know that she was also excited to meet Mary Jane and Claudia.She was a special light in this world - full of love and pride for her family.
I was touched and amazed by her positive attitude and the strength she showed even when she had progression. She did not give up. She continued to seek further treatments that would give her more time with the family who meant so much to her.
What can I say about all the news and pictures she shared with us? Weren't they wonderful? It was obvious how much she enjoyed all her family celebrations during holidays, birthdays, and other occasions. She was always thinking of others -her children, grandchildren, husband, mother, and siblings. She even found time to think of all of us and give us support when we needed it.
I am grateful that I had a chance to get to know Lynne for even a little while. The world was made better by her presence.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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