My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Checking in...Gum doctor- love the view from your porch! Nature helps.
DivOne- hope your surgery went well and you have a quick recovery!!! Sheesh- it’s always something!
Micmel- You deserve a sainthood award. Really??? Laundry???
Illimae- Love your new place out in nature!! Enjoy your trip.
So many more...Tanya, Skitz, Grannax...hoping you find great moments of joy this summer!
Back in Illinois. Now cr to be home with DH but I’ll miss my DD and her daughter...and my SIL.
My view right now is of a garage in need of painting rather than Pikes Peak. Sigh.
I did find a new beautiful trail yesterday. That park has 18 trails so I’ll try to do them all this summer. Not one mountain or bear, but lots of bugs and poison ivy.
Anyone want to do a cancer to 14k walking challenge this summer? 14,000 steps is about 5.5 miles for those who don’t have a 24k mountain to climb. The goal is to be able to finish that 5.5mile hike by September 15.
I’ll put together the challenge on our MBC fitness thread if anyone would like to do it.
Have a great weekend...and thank you Micmel for leading this yhread
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I wanted to share something that happened last night. Last night I laughed, smiled, cheered and generally completely forgot about cancer for the first time in quite a while. Hubby brought home a 4 pack of those Cinnabon dessert biscuits from KFC (OMG) we caught the 2nd episode of the new press your luck game show, watched the latest deadliest catch. snuggled and just enjoyed each other. When I laid my head on my pillow last I thought to myself “I recognize this girl haven’t seen her much” it felt so incredibly good that feeling. I haven’t wrapped my head around all this yet but I learned these moments will come and I will be able to enjoy them when they do. So some good news today to share :
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Iwrite~Hello sweet woman....I am very happy to see you. I always love being updated on what's going on in everyone's world. I've seen some amazing photos with you and all of your amazing hikes..I visited Colorado once and I totally loved every second of it. Again, I will live through you wonderful ladies. My issue today is the fatigue train has hit first week back on can either be filled with energy or the complete opposite. I am dealing with the latter this week. I need a shower and I'd rather nap honestly. It's like the good angel and bad angel arguing on my shoulder over what I should do.
My step son is at senior week in ocean City..MD. He saw the blue jets in flight over the ocean. I wish I could post the video. I just couldn't get it to work. But here are some shots. Amazing!! The power of them. Majestic as well!
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iwrite, you know I’m in for the challenge.
Rabbit, I’m pleased you could enjoy the moment and wish you so many more that cancer is way, way back in your mind.
Micmel, do what you love and plan a beach trip, even if it’s only for the food and a great view. What have you done this week that was enjoyable?
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there was this cool looking tour boat of some sort towards the edge of the beaches. It looked really neat!
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Mae~honestly I did manage to have a great dinner with my high school close friend. We laugh and laugh. She is someone I have know since 7th grade. She's going through a divorce and just had a scare with her breast. I have a movie and dinner night with one of my friends each week and I really look forward to that. The placement of one of three spots of cancer combined with the fatigue. Causes me a lot of weird discomfort and unfortunately effects my sciatica when I walk toomuch. My DH and I are planning an RV trip I'm am so excited for fall. He knows I prefer the cool lake temperatures now and my beach days are over. We are going to rent a small quaint cabin! I am super excited. Thank you for asking that question. It made me think. You ladies are always doing that!! (Runor). ~M~
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Ok Illimae! You are on the challenge team
Micmel- Try the KT tape across your lower back. It really helped me with sciatica...if I put it on in advance it prevents or reduces the severity. If I put it in after a long walk it keeps it from getting too bad. Seriously! Lifesaver with no SEs!
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iwrite~thanks for the suggestion I'll try anything..Does Cvs carry it? I am looking forward to it working. Now do you have any suggestions for extreme fatigue? Like dragging your ass and legs through mud fatigue.
Today was lovely outside nice breeze, I was driving down the road and I heard a commercial for father's day and my flood gates opened. Bam. Tears. Strangest feeling I have had Since he's passed! Not a good feeling at all. My DH is on his way up this weekend today and was rear ended on his way here. It's ridiculous how it's always something . I know thats life. But im thankful he's okay. I'm twisting and turning in the wind. Like a leaf.. With my emotions, seeing all of these childhood pictures, stirring up feelings. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
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Micmel, beautfiul pics. Where are those from? A few weeks back, we had an airshow near my house and I had the privilege of watching it with my 4 year old son on our balcony. The planes flew right over us, really low. He was so excited.
Iwrite, I would love to do the challenge but can't hike necessarily. I live in a flat area where here are basically no mountains/hills. If I need to increase the difficultly, I could cover some of that distance on sand.
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Happy Saturday everyone! It's my first week off work and so far so good. This hip and back are keeping me from doing what I want to do like clean out the garage, mow the lawn, clean out the garden beds. Good lord I can't wait to see this spinal orthopedist this week. i might get bad news such as "this is your new normal" but at least i'll know and I can start re-adjusting. This is all still so new. X-Rays from last week show a third compression fracture. This one is in my cervical spine. Cervical spine just was never x-rayed or MRIs at initial dx. So. Damn it.
Next surprise on the x-ray was compression plana on T12. I'm flummoxed. Everything so far has been about T11. Even had radiation there. This x-ray didn't even mention T11 but apparently I have a complete collapse of T12 which is scaring me quite a bit. No wonder I've lost so much of my height! Finally, L4 which was previously a compression fracture is now a burst fracture. So my mind is a little upset at radiologists with differing impressions. The spinal doc and I have a lot to talk about. I feel like my back is made of glass off of a sudden and i'm afraid to do anything! My husband flops himself down on the couch. I'm even afraid to do that!
I'm taking my daughter out to lunch today. She's 37 with the two adorable little girls in my profile pic. She's having a rough time of life and most of it is just herself getting in her own way. Rough relationships, addiction, rough employment, money problems, she's lost a ton of family members who have given up on her. So I'm off to be "mom" for a few hours. She needs me today and I'm feeling well enough to do that for her. Life goes on and the people around me have not changed much since dx. I'm lucky to have a really supportive family but omg it's true what they say "little kids, little problems. big kids, big problems". I have a huge appreciation for Alanon where I learned it's not my fault and I can't make her better. Only she can do that. I had to fall hard a few times and then plunk myself at Alanon to learn that I was enabling, but I did all the work and changed it all around for myself.
I'm rambling' - I'm also tired. it's week three of Ibrance which seems to be the kick my butt week so far. The peonies are blooming and many are in vases around my house. My favorites!
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JFL~Ocean city MD for senior week. They flew right over the ocean along the beach In a practice run I believe for the Fourth of July weekend. They are very loud and powerful. They must have shook your house. I can only Imagine the amazement that your son felt watching something so powerful and captivating. My step son said most people stood and saluted jets. Which I think is fabulous.
We used to have air shows yearly at the naval air base in Pennsylvania when I was growing up. My boyfriend from years and years ago (a bad boyfriend at that) was involved in a head on collision because people were driving and watching the planes at the same time. A lot of crashes occurred for only a two lane road. So after a few years they stopped the shows because it was becoming too dangerous for such a little suburb town to handle The massive crowds. I remember that day each side of the roads were lined with people watching. There was no where to go. If he had swerved the other way, he would have hit people viewing the jets on a blanket.
It was a good call to end them. Although magnificent. They are dangerous. Another year one lost control and crashed Into a neighborhood that was less than a half mile away from a large gas station. It went through several Homes and they all caught fire. That was the straw. Times have changed. At least if it's over a body of water. There is less of a possibility for civilians to be injured. Not that I would ever want anyone flying the jet to ever be harmed either.
I hope everyone is doing well Today, always great to see you. 😃🥰🤗! Much love ~M~
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For my Dad. I love you and always always will. I Miss you and Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me,from the second I open my eyes. I am grieving, but trying to understand how to handle it better each day. The missing you will NEVER end. Never.......... I hope I see you again someday. 💔
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found this today. Thought everyone should read it. Including family members. Just so they know...again. 💔🥺
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-it-really-like-to-have-cancer-2248830
Much love
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Micmel- really good article thank you. Also it fed into what to say to someone with lung cancer which I sent to someone wondering how to help her friend who was just diagnosed.
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NKB~Hi honey~good to see you here again my friend. I read it and it truly spoke to every point I believe we struggle with. No one really really understands. I sent it to myDD and I intend to send it to my DS as well. I'm so glad that it was of some benefit to you as well as your friend. Cancer is such a heavy load to carry. Somedays I just don't even know who to be anymore. Like wow. It truly is a marathon. I hope this post finds you well. 💜💐 always good to see my sisters around!
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Hi everyone, the air show pics are really good. We live near the naval base in Spain, so get regular shows, upside down flying, loop the loops etc, but I never tire of it. We still ooh and aaah all the time.
Gumdoctor, that is an amazing view!! We can all just look at that picture and imagine being there. Hope you have room for everyone lol !!
I went shopping today with 2 friends. Trying to cheer up a friend who is having marriage problems. She is just so miserable, and there is nothing anyone can do. Her husband has numerous health problems and we think he is depressed, and taking everything out on her. Sad thing is, they are both lovely people, going through a bad time. I hope they can resolve this.
Anyway, bed time here in Spain. Love to all x
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Minnie~Hi there beautiful.... love the idea of seeing those jets frequently!! Makes me feel little, which sometimes I need. It seems like everything is difficult for everyone these days. I’m sorry about your friend, god knows a marriage is a job and both need to work on it. I sometimes feel so badly that I am not able to zip around my house the way I used to. I loved to clean it. Each day I would do something else. I enjoyed feeling useful , not useless. My divorce was U-G-L-Y! It was because people didn’t stay neutral, or take me shopping. You’re a very good friend, especially when you say things like. They are both good people... shows you’re a good person yourself. I believe too many people are so quick to judge anymore. The old phrase “can’t we all just get along? I always find it easier to smile, than to actually take the effort and energy to scowl. 😃😃😃 my best wishes for your friends. I hope your hip was good for you also during shopping! Important stuff there!!
Hugs to you! And Nighty Night!! 💐 sleep
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Moomala~How on earth did I miss your post? Ugh! I don't like it when I do that at all. I can totally understand and can relate to the back/spine issues. The pain is a bear!! No less a fracture 😮🤨!! I'll never accept any new normal ever. It makes me mad. It makes me sad. All in one emotional rollercoaster!
The fact that you are putting aside all of your mind bending emotions and weight youre feeling on you... mothers always take over. And just be mom. I think that is pretty damn amazing. I know how hard it can be to watch someone you love so much struggling. My sister and her kids are in that terrible addiction and depression, abandonment, issues that extend for generations and generations. It makes it worse when the strongest of the pack falls ill, which was me. Kinda sounds like you as well.
My DH, never rests. Never. He won't nap, won't take many days off, is utterly amazing. He cooks,cleans, reassures me everyday of his love and commitment. Works a more than full Time Job, drives over 6 hours both ways to Be here with me every weekend and prepare me for my week ahead alone.(We have two homes, he works in the DC area during the week. He has a hurt arm and his heel has been giving him problems. I'm worried he's being worn out by my Illness. Always on the move, working his ass off. 🥺😞. He may need surgery at some point. But he just doesn't go to the doctors. Is this only my DH?
Hugs to you and get some rest sweet woman you deserve it! ❤️
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Rabbit~Your post touched me so much. The cuddling part especially. Wow that’s a heart burster for sure. I am smiling thinking of you acknowledging a wonderful moment and cancer got kicked to the curb..... if even for a little while. Bravo! And thank you for sharing. Breathe all those moments in!!!!! Hugs to you sweetheart!
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Minnie - Thank you for commenting on my view from the front porch. It is a great gift from living here and is one of the main reasons I chose this house. There will be room...soon...embarking on some renovations outside and inside...start date mid-July...there will be quite the upheaval during the process...and then...Nirvana...and enough to have people over to enjoy with me. Right now the house is "not available for viewing...".
Micmel - I did not realize you have 2 houses like us. I do the travelling back and forth but my DH helps a great deal and works hard to make this work...the things we do for love eh?
Rainbow before the storm last week...
Gumdoctor
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Gumdoctor~It is very difficult. I have no clue how you do the traveling.... my hats off to you seriously. I’d break in half. We’ve been doing this for 16 years in October. Mostly him, before I got sick I would go down as much as I could. My two were so young then, they had school functions and parties etc. yanno kids stuff. My DSS got to stay in his area, like mine did in theirs and we maintained two households. I was injured severely in 2009, which caused me to stop working. Since then it’s been mainly
Him. And yes the things we endure for love. I would be lost without him. He’s my person. For sure. And btw I have a thing for porches ! Love them ! And love the rainbow!0 -
Thanks for the link to that article, Micmel. It came at the perfect time for me - my old law partner was just diagnosed with lung cancer that has spread to her spine. A day after I got that news, one of my best friends' brother died suddenly. He was only 63 and it was totally unexpected. I am feeling guilty that my life is so wonderful and that everyone I love seems healthy and happy right now.
I hope you are finding some relief from the pain of losing your father. Remember that he is now free from his suffering. You were a wonderful and supportive daughter during his last difficult months and the effort you made to reconcile with him and with your stepmother surely brought him great joy. Take comfort in that and let your wonderful DH help you heal. And don't forget that we're all here for you when you need us.
Gumdoctor, that is an amazing rainbow; thank you for sharing it.
Minnie, so sorry about your friend. As a retired divorce attorney (and as someone who has been through a divorce myself) I understand the pain that marital problems can create. But with the support of good friends like you, she will get through this.
Moomala, you're a terrific mother and grandmother! Dealing with addiction is challenging enough but when there are children affected by it you have an even more difficult situation. Bless you for standing by your daughter and for being there for those beautiful girls. You will all be in my prayers.
Mae, I love the pics of your cabin and so admire your zest for life. You inspire me to live every day to the fullest!
While I was in Japan last month I left emas (small wooden plaques on which you write your wishes or prayers) on the walls at several temples and shrines. I thought of everyone on this thread when I asked that a cure be found for cancer and left that message for the Buddhist and Shinto gods to answer. I saw recently that Joe Biden has committed to supporting cancer research as part of his campaign platform. From his lips ...
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On tuesday I have my CT Scan guided bone biopsy on my sternum. Scared but they did tell me I'll be sedated for this (Thank God!). I had joked with my hubby that I hope I don't hear a drill or smell or see smoke from this. Mother in law is traveling to be with me and take me to the biopsy and she hubby and I will enjoy a dinner of my choice that night together
I'm doing better, its been a month since I've had an inkling about whats going on with it confirm about a week ago. I still require Ambien at night to sleep and I have Ativan I can take if I need it during the day ( haven't had to touch it but a few times, but just having it available has been nice- been trying to work through my feelings and thoughts on my own - semi successful) Micmel your hubby sounds like gold my gosh! PS: I'm here on this thread because of you
Mae - i watch youtube videos on cabin building, tiny homes, even nomads who live out of RV's and travel etc and I find it so interesting. I watch a guy called my self reliance on youtube who built a cabin, outdoor kitchen, bathhouse everything, pretty amazing to watch. Happy cabin building!
Moomala, i hear ya on pain. I had it especially in the lumbar spine, tylenol, ibuprofen, aleve wouldn't touch it. Tried heating pad, ice packs, nothing.. HORRIBLE. I'd sit there and cry. When I was having all those scans a couple a few weeks ago laying on that hard table hurt. I was in silent tears throughout all of it. Then shortly after my 1st lupron about 2 weeks in it went down dramatically. Now after 2nd lupron its hardly there. I dunno if its a coincidence but I sure hope thats a clue of my mets nature. Discomfort is still there throughout spine but not like it was, I'm pushing through the discomfort. I hope you gets some answers and some relief SOON! What a wonderful mother/grandmother you are, WOW.
Looking forward to getting to know all you ladies, this is a busy thread so i hope I can keep up with everyone!
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ugh!!!!! Just lost a long ass post! Geeze I don't like that. I was almost done also. Oh boy. JKL glad the article helped. And I'm sorry so sorry for your loss. They seem to be piling up lately. Thank you for the kind and comforting words about my Dad. I am struggling for sure. Gonna have a heavy heart all day long. Thank you for caring.
Rabbit~🥰 do you know what an honor it is to read that you come because Of me. That you will share with us your struggles and happy days and good results. Not to mention having a circle to surround you with support and total understanding, while walking along with you. I am thrilled to have you. I'll be in your pocket for your biopsy!
Divine~ How are you feeling.? Surgery??
Parry~worried my sweet beautiful friend.
Blueshine~ you ok in there ?
Mae~ reporting in soon during your travels? Hope you’re having a blast with DH. I know how much you enjoy to travel!
MJH~ worried sweet sister.
Lynne(50's) miss you everyday!
Philly~ Hello lovely busy lady. Hope your feeling more energy! Hope you're doing good!!
JFL~Hello darling
Donnabella~ been a long Time Hope you're ok!
Chicagoan~Waving hello friend!
Lynnwood ~ where ya been? Concerned about you as well...
Masonsma~Haven't seen you either!
. Tanya~ Hello sweet woman. What's your weather like there, wondering how hot. Hope you're doing well!
Muddling ~thinking of you everyday! Hoping your doing ok.
Gracie~Love you too! Sweet friend miss you as well!
Hope~ Hope you're ok too!
Runor~ come out come out wherever you are. 😃
Rosie~ Hello sweety... hope you're ok and sleeping well, I've been having boughts with insomnia, ever since the loss of my father it's been worse. Soo difficult to get up!
Rosabella~ miss seeing your shining smile here !
Grannax~How is the she shed progress? How the H&F going? Hoping it's calmed down a lot for you.
Bigbhome~ wayyy too long, am hoping that you'll be around soon to spread your joy! We miss you!
Taraheelmichelle~Wondered when you're chexking back in, days since April 2019 just want assurance you're ok!
Sandibeaches~ Love the sounds of the ocean smellsof the sea and the sight of seeing the beach, we shall see if I can make it back there. Then will do more and more! I hope!
Missing you all!
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Good morning Mel
Sitting on the porch. It’s 81 degrees at 9:22.
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Gumdoctor, love the view! Lots of rainbows out at my cabin too, can’t help smiling.
Rabbit, we’ll be in your pocket Tuesday 😀 I’ve had a bone biopsy and while it sounds scary (don’t google it), I only felt mild pressure, no pain at all.
Micmel, I leave Wednesday, can’t wait!
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I had a CT guided bone biopsy too Rabbit. It really was not bad and takes just a short amount of time. I felt a little pressure like Mae said but nothing I would chirp about.
Tanya 81 degrees....omg we are struggling up here to reach 81 at all during the day.
Mae have a fantastic trip!
It's a gloomy looking father's day here. My son and his wife invited us out to lunch and then we will have a nice quiet day with our books and maybe a little television, although Sundays are not the same without Game of Thrones.
Hug Micmel. I'm thinking of you on the father's day.
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micmel. Sad news about the She Shed. I've decided I need to put need before want. Ugh. So, the shed is going to be demolished. There are just so many other repairs, etc I do need. But, that's OK. When it's down ill be able to see my garden from my patio. It's so pretty and growing so fast. I'll have enough tomatoes to send one to each of you.
My blisters have healed completely. So, I'm good. Ill try to send a pic of my garden. 💞
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