My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Hello to all! I’m still around just been in a major funk.. trying to come out of it. Having a very difficult time with the Xeloda, we have adjusted the dosage twice and I just switched to 1 week on and 1 week off so hopefully that will help. Even though I knew my cancer would progress one day, I was doing well on Ibrance/Letrazole/ Xgeva and hearing I had some bone progression was hard. My onc said I had been on this combo longer then any patient she had or had even heard of( 4 years). She thinks this bodes well for future treatments. After 2 cycles of Xeloda my CA27/29 went from 209 to 110 and my alk phos went from 274 to 144. My onc said she was very surprised because she warned me that my markers will go up before they go down. I’ve been reading so I haven’t left you all.. just needed some time to work through this funk. Hugs to all missing their dads today and every day. I miss my dad SO much. I was always closer to him then my mom. She was a difficult mother but he loved her and a lot of what I do for her, I do to honor him. She is in early stage dementia now at 81 and giving us a run for our money. I have worked with dementia patients for my entire career as a nurse but when it’s your mom it’s hard. This has added to my funk. Thankfully I have a great support system in dealing with her, my brother, SIL,husband and sons are all all a great help. Many difficult conversations and decisions to make. She doesn’t know of my progression and doesn’t understand why I can’t take her shopping for 8 hours like we used to. Sorry to be a downer, but it’s good to vent. You all are so understanding and supportive. Please know I read almost every day even if I don’t post and I love you all. We are all in this cancer shit show together.
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I have tomatoes,cucumbers,squash,strawberries, watermelon, peppers, basil, oregano, and cantaloupe
cucumbers 0 -
sending hugs to everyone who is missing their father or parent today ❤️🧡💕💛💛💛
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I read all your posts on this Thread all the time. I seem to post on the Ibrance Thread the most. Don't know why. So I thought I would say HI on this thread also.
Grannax- Love the garden. I don't have one, but must be nice to eat the fresh food. Just not fun doing all the hard work. Hahaha.
Lynnwood- Sorry you are feeling down. Hope better days are coming for you.
Hope everyone has/had a good day with family. My dad is still around at age 93. But his mind is not the greatest. I don't know how much he really understands about my situation. Maybe for the best. Mom passed 6 years ago (before my diagnosis) so thankfully she is not here to see me going through all this.
Hugs to all.
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candy, its amazing to have a dad who's 93! It is a pretty impressive life span.
Nice garden, Grannax!
Lynnwood, good to hear from you and I know what you mean about progression being hard after doing well on treatment for a good period of time.
As for my foot surgery, all went well, one reason being I think I knew exactly what to expect. I had mild pain and took a few Percocet but haven't needed any pain meds since last night, not even tylenol. No weight bearing for one week. I'm really super taking it easy and letting dh do most of the miscellaneous household stuff. Will have doctor apt Friday when I will probably get the air boot on, lose the knee scooter and be more mobile. Look forward to that!
My dad was an s.o.b. and also amazing. He's been gone over 20 years and i so wish I'd understood him when he was alive the way I do all these years later.
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Grannax~I am sorry about the she shed. But you’re correct. Needs over wants. I’m glad your blisters are better. I can only tell you you’re amazingly strong and I hope hope that xeloda will kick some major ass for you and Lynnwood!! Please make sure to be kind to yourself. I can only imagine the challenge it would be to adjust to something new. Sending hugs. To you sweet woman.
Lynnwood~ Hi honey.... I am so glad to see you. I worry about my peeps when they are not around and boy do I understand the funk that goes along with all of this mind bending stuff we are forced to endure. I wish you had gotten 140 months on ibrance. I hope you adjust and have fabulous results as well! Missed you very much.
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Candy~Hi there darling! Always nice to see you...😃 there is always room at the bar for another stool! We come and go and have a support system here I wouldn't trade for anything. Good people. Lovely ladies such as yourself. Hope since you're posting on the ibrance thread then that means it's doing well for you. I am finding it to be more successful then they had ever imagined. Take Lynnwood for example. A stunning 40+ months. Just remarkable. Please pass along a hello to Pat M and Jensgotthis!! Also lovely ladies. Pats sense of humor is precious. I remember her from when I posted there. Hope you will feel welcome and know we appreciate you here too!! 💐💐
Divine~I'm so glad the surgery went well! It's always wonderful to know what you're up against. I think For us all the unknown is part. Of the funk we are forced to live in. It's an opened ended vortex of black with no sight of what's to come. I'm also very impressed with your pain threshold!! Use that scooter woman!! ❤️ Good to see you always.
Mae~ packed and ready!!! Yahooo. Are ya gonna send some good food perspectives and drinking snippets for us to drool over please?? My DH made me seafood fettuccine for dinner last night. Huge scallops and shrimp and tons of lumpy crab meat!! 🤤 🤤. Heaven! I'm excited for you! Have a blast (like I would ever think you wouldn't. ) you're like the energizer bunny with his drum moving along playing it with a big ass smile. Love that about you!!
Philly~Hello. Beauty! I am trying to remember the good things that I was able to put to rest before he passed away. I never wanted to just receive a phone call that he had passed and we would have still been estranged. I would have had to live with that for the rest of what life I have left to live. Not something I would wish on anyone. Anger and sadness are very heavy to shoulder after a while. Good to see you! Hope you're doing good. How was the vacation?
Moomala~Hope you're having a good day and are surrounded by those you love. I'm watching the us open Pebble Beach Golf. In honor of my Dad. Whenever I took him outside for his cigarettes, he wore his grey pebble beach hat. He loved this game and everything about it. I also enjoy watching. We used to play together. He taught me how to play. I love the game. And I guess I may be in the minority, but love to watch it with my DH. He thinks I don't like it but I honestly do. These guys are magicians!
Hope everyone is good or at least ok today.
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haven't seen ——Parry~~~Dancing Elizabeth....elleonwheels.....Holmes...Blueshine...Rosie....roseabella....Parry...Lynne..(50's) still waiting!!! Rubyred....Runor....Noticed that our gumdocotor has quite a green thumb! Jealous!! Hello to my dear sweet friend NaN!!
As this thread approaches 10k posts which to me is amazing. Never did I ever think It could ever do well. It does well because of our family we have created here. If I have ever ever upset or offended anyone ever. I am very sorry And it would never ever Be intentional. I care for each and everyone of you and have felt the losses along with you all. You have helped me when I needed and ear and advice...kept me in line when I needed it, and cheered me along with my cancer experience (I hate journey) I hope I offered the same love and friendship along the way! I wanted to mention that Mae. And Divine have been here since the first week of this thread. Mae and divine were one of the first to post here with me and I truly consider dear sweet friends. Thank you to all of you. I could not have made it without you all! This cancer shit is hard ! Love you all!!
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Micmel--- Thanks for welcoming me to the Thread. I just may come pull up a chair once in a while. I do continue Ibrance as my first line therapy--18 cycles so far. Next CT scan next month- July. We shall see. Hoping for continuing the "Ibrance Dance" as we call it. Nice that some of the same people cross post onto other Threads. But also can see some that have moved on from Ibrance and I try to keep up with everyone. My MBC sisters.
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Moomala, Mae and Micmel thank you
I haven't googled anything, i learned my lesson several times over not to do that. Ask my MO or one of the ladies on here, but don't google. Scared the crap outta myself many times, unnecessarily too, Dr. Google can lead to an Ativan in no time flat. My core needle biopsy didn't hurt, but them putting in the clip sure did, I yelled "OW!" when they did that, I think the numbing injections were wearing off and I felt every bit of that. But My port surgery didn't hurt at all and I was awake for that, but sedated. Quick with alittle pressure sounds good to me! Micmel - i have come to appreciate having lurked for some time (even before I was stage 4) how open you are and how you lay your heart out on a platter no holds barred, you hold nothing back with how you love and care about people. I am thinking of you on father's day and hoping your doing okay
Grannax I just love your garden!
I'm glad your feet are healing Divine - glad surgery went well and hope you can move to the boot soon!
MIL arrives tomorrow afternoon - going to enjoy the night together with some chinese (sweet and sour chicken for me
) and hang out before I have to fast for biopsy next day. Post chemo neuropathy in my legs being treated feels so much better...if only my back would feel alittle better. I think I'll feel better overall when I'm in treatment again. For right now I am just on lupron. Had my 2nd lupron on the 11th, MO wants me to keep those up until we have reason to stop. My original tumor was 100%ER and 100%PR so we're hoping because of that the mets are hormone positive. Crossing fingers, toes and heart. 0 -
Rabbit~That is a very nice thing to say. I figure. What else do I have to loose ? I already have been given an unwanted serious blow to my life. Fear, yup got it... ptsd absofreakinglutely, panic, check, terrorized, I think so in ways of mental and physical (surgeries. Aggressive treatments) unknown ways to plan anything really in the far future. Annoys me to no end. I'm glad you stopped being a lurker and started to share yourself with us. I have always been someone to tell it like it is. And I appreciate that in so many of you (ahem...Runor... Mae...Lynne) I honestly hope your back feels better and that you enjoyed that sweet and sour chicken meal. Just get it behind you. That's what I repeated to myself. I'll be thinking of you and we know we are always up for the pocket duty!!!
I just realized that post made me hungry lol late for me tonight and I didn't have a nap. My day was a good one. I'm surprised, I thought I'd be a wreck. I smiled A lot today watching the us open in pebble beach. He loved it. I love it too! Was glued to the television after my two closest friends left. They came and visited me to make sure I was ok. Knowing it was my first Father's Day since his passing,And such a short time since, they wanted to Pep me up! It worked. Part of why today was wonderful. The best part was waking up with DH here. My best friend. Goodnight ladies.
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Thanks for the shoutout micmel, I enjoy our little home here and all the effort you make to keep up with everyone in the group. Goodnight all 😴
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Mae~😃 you’re more than welcome. Gotta be honest, and it’s completely true! Glim was around then also and I don’t think I’ve seen her around. Now that I think about it either. Gonna rain like crazy here today. Flash flood warnings. I honestly love love thunder storms. Absolutely love them. as long as no one gets hurt of course. I just love the sounds. Of thunder. I hope you’re getting ready to go! Have a blast!
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My bouquet fully opened! ! The smell is marvelous!0 -
Micmel - What beautiful lillies!!! I smelled those at the garden center last weekend...I planted stargazer lilly bulbs in containers...still waiting for them to peek through...
This photo below is not the greatest quality...but as I was coming in from the front porch tonight, this view of the roses took my breath away...I am so blessed and so grateful to live here...
Gumdoctor
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Gumdoctor~I love love roses and I agree about how truly lucky you are to live where you live with such beauty all around you. I love flowers. My DH and I went to a place called Longwood gardens in Kennett Square Pa area. The flowers I saw there took my breath away. The water Lillie's come out in the day time and sink into the water at night and the water they keep them alive in and thriving in is black and very dark. It's a really amazingly beautiful place full of lovely nature. More of which everyone on this planet needs to get busy planting and creating more greenery. (Go grannax). Clearly you have it down. I love the sight of roses and any kind of flower basically. My Lily's lasted so long. But wow that middle stick fuzzy stem stains everything. Especially your skin. But I love them anyway. Have a wonderful night ladies. I had my birthday flowers from May 25 and I just threw some of them out. They lasted a long time. I was pleased with that! Goodnight ! MJH??
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These were the others m, I notice the ones that are Dyed colors tend to last a lot longer. My sister got me flowers too. Sometimes I wish I could plant them all again around my yard before my cancer I had such fun doing things. Gardening. Going to the gym. Traveling, walking and hiking. Going on long road trips!
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Micmel, this is quite the thread you have hosted. You have set the stage for a real community to grow up and evolve. You have overseen the event while allowing that people are people and here to share, peer to peer, equal to equal. This is a difficult balance to acheive. Yet you have. All of us the richer for it.
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I love you my friend...It’s people like you that make it worth it. I enjoy knowing such good ladies. Sharing caring. And kindness. That is what I wanted for here. For us. Thank you Runor. You know for sure you are one of my closest peeps for sure... thank you for telling me this. It makes me want to keep up with all of our lives together
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I am enjoying the pictures of your lilies Micmel and those gorgeous roses gumdoctor
Bone biopsy is done
didn't hurt just pressure like u all said the drugs were great as well as my nurses and the doctor that performed the biopsy. They helped me move off the CT Scan and got me situated on the wheeling bed again afterwards. With my warm blankets on me I snuggled in for alittle nap right beside the machine before they moved me to recovery. Glad to have that behind me! 0 -
Micmel, we have bento Longwood gardens many times, it's about a half hour from me. If you haven't been at Christmas time, please go. It is ABSOLUTELY gorgeous! Especially at night!A little cold too!
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Micmel, we have been to Longwood gardens many times, it’s about 30 minutes away from us. If you haven’t been at Christmas time, please go. It is ABSOLUTELY gorgeous, especially the night time show. A little cold too!
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Hi all, we’re doing the little last minute pre-travel stuff, laundry (not me, I’ve been ready for days), finishing leftovers (dinner was broccoli & cabbage), dishes and painting toenails (just mine, DH’s are fine as is). We fly out tomorrow afternoon! 😁
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Mae - You are SO SO SO FUNNY!!! Thank you for bringing such a humorous twist to things...
Please be safe and bring us back great, beautiful pictures and funny stories
Gumdoctor
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Rabbit~ I am so pleased that these ladies reassured what you would be going through. It does help a lot when you have these ladies in your pockets. We made Be loud and leave cracker crumbs. We're sorry. I am glad that you have this behind you. Get some good rest tonight... my Lillies have ran their course. it's a shame all of the flowers you have been given over your lifetime cannot just stay alive. That would be the most beautiful arrangement.
Mae~You always are ready to roll for your trips. I love your packing skills. It amazes me how you fit all of that into a reasonable sized bag! I cannot say the same for myself. My poor DH. Lol. Hope you post your awesome photos throughout like usual! Be safe please friend.
Lynnwood~ we haven't gone at Christmastime, but we did manage to go in fall season. We saw the fountain dances with lights to an orchestra backed phantom of the opera musical, with the colored lights played according to the bass and different tones during the songs throughout the production without words.accompanied with the lights and fountains!! Amazing. Amazing amazing!! I'll attempt to make Christmas time. My DH would be thrilled to have me want to go somewhere! Great suggestion! I enjoyed it so much. We went the fall before my diagnosis. Ick!
Gum doctor~ waving hello dear woman. Hope you have a restful nights sleep. We all need that to make the day on deck.......better!
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My Sister brought over my great niece for me to spend time with. Adorable, 10 year old sweet, smart, funny.. my sister has custody over her because her mother (my sisters DD) has been incarcerated for on and off, since the child has been born. My sister took immediate custody, let's just say from birth. At age 49. A new born .
This had been during all the estrangement that had been going on... I never really got to meet her until last year. The end of 2016, her father (who had also been incarcerated for the same reason with her mother together. Drugs) He was released on good behavior. Ahead of scheduled time from my great nieces mother was to be let out. So he gets out and has his assignment for work and his parole officer and All of that. My little niece had seen him the day he was released and was supposed to have supervised visits each weekend with a parent. (My sister, or the dads mother or father)
The day came around for the second visit and my sister packed the sweet little 8 year old with her little bag for the overnight with he and the grandmother. When my sister arrived at the House where the grandmother number two lived , she saw what looked like a parade, except it wasn't a celebration. His mother had found him in his room needle in his arm dead from overdose after less than two full weeks. He thought his body could handle what it used to handle over six months ago. Well it couldn't. He was wrong. Very wrong.
They couldn't revive him. My sister had to tell her, but she waited until things calmed down. The poor kids heart was shattered. Lost mom and dad. Now Dad forever. Mom is a loose cannon, repeat offending.
My nephew is getting married June 29th far away (don't ask me why it's so damn far either. Makes no sense at all really.). My great niece came to spend time with me overnight last night, I had bought her a special bracelet, something like a mother should buy her daughter. Just something so she knows she's special. We made pop corn, watched like 6 movies together. Had pizza for dinner. Snacks.
I took her shopping this morning. I bought her sandals for her rehearsal dinner this Friday , new sneakers, a pop socket for her phone, a new tank top, a pair of adorable shorts. Took her out to lunch. She was grinning the entire time.
When we got home my sister had Arrived to take her home. I over heard them talking about how she didn't yet have her dress for the rehearsal dinner Friday. I had remembered that my sisters DD had gotten ready at my house for a formal one year, because I did her hair and make up. This was 22 years ago. I went upstairs to my closet and grabbed that mint green perfect princess dress. It fit her like a glove. Her aunt wore the same dress to a formal 22 years ago and I saved it. It looked brand new. The sandals we picked today matched perfectly and she was twirling around and smiling so happily . I was tickled sitting there so happy something told me to hold onto that dress. It was meant to be hers. Sorry this is so long. I was just so struck by it all. This poor young child basically has no parents. She doesn’t really get special days. My sister tries. But she is now 57, and her health and circulation isn't the best because of back issues which she's dealing them now. Life is HARD!!!!! Plain and simple. Sorry so long ladies. Goodnight 😴😴
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Micmel, you really are so incredibly sweet and thoughtful. What a sad situation for your great niece to be in. But you were able to create magical moments for her and show her that life moves forward and there are still plenty of good times to be had. Being that she is 10, a wonderful age, your actions will make a memorable impression on her that she'll always remember.
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Divine~Thank you for saying that, what a wonderful thing to wake up and. Read. I know how hard it is to grow up with parents that barely notice you’re around. Her mother is set to be released in August. Sometimes, that goes badly. I’m hoping for this little angel, that she can keep it together. This time for her child. She really needs her mom, and is dying to have her.. grandma does a great job, but I would like to see history stop repeating itself and actually have a child raised correctly. My kids I worked tiresomely to make them good people. I know they struggle too, but they are hard working young adults. I am proud of that. I had a lot of fun with her. Thanks again divine. And also for reading that long ass post lol ♥️
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Poor kid but so good of you to provide special moments and day of treats and distractions from worries that a child shouldn’t have.
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micmel. Such a magical day you provided, she will never forget that day. This opportunity probably wouldn't have happened if you hadn't stepped up to take care of your dad. I love to see the rewards that come with doing the right thing, the honourable thing even if it's the hardest thing. 💞
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