My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Hey ladies. Waving to all.
Tanya- I had a quiet Sunday. Church this morning and reading this afternoon. Did have the windows open for fresh air today-- in the 60"s today. Tomorrow rain to snow, dropping temps. Teens tomorrow night. Crazy weather.
Mae- Love those pockets. Nice that we can be there for each other. I am waiting on those PET results this week.
About my bedtime. Good night.
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Good Evening! It was a ca-ca-crazy weekend with my mother here. She is 91 and requires a lot of management. She still thinks she can help with dinner, or host all the guests and then she quickly gets overwhelmed, exhausted, wheezing and emotional becuase she can't do things anymore. She's lost her filter and just "stuff" comes out of her mouth. She hurt several family members' feelings last night at the big dinner, and then felt awful about herself after she realized what she'd done. But not enough to apologize. So she's a lot. I will be tired tomorrow....it was a lot of cooking and cleaning up and then having two big dinners with family, then her flight was delayed. I'm glad to be home and will be in bed soon. But here are my sister and I being goofballs at the airport becuase we promised my mom we wouldn't leave the airport until her plane took off.
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Hi all. I've been busy last couple days and not dropping in to read daily gets one WAY behind on the doings.
Moomala, your apocryphal tale of filterless mothers does not bode well for me. While not yet 91, my own mother tends to lack a filter and I am often left open mouthed, speechless and mortified.
Micmel, I have not watched any Letter Kenny. I am still trying to get over watching all The Trailer Park Boys. But I hear it's good, in a weird, Canadian sense of humour kind of way. Do we have a sense of humour? Huh. Something to think about, eh?
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Moomala- I bet that was a REAL fun weekend, though it looks like you had good support!
I am finally going to be discharged today, with rads planning end of this week for 5x treatments next week for the met to my sacrum. Let's hope that helps solve a bit of the problem, or at least let me feel a bit like I won't fracture something from sneezing/laughing!
Any tips on this would be helpful, although I read the bone mets rad thread in the Radiation section and the five treatments shouldnt burn and maybe get some gastro issues given the area. Ugh, so bored of this cancer drama now.
In house news we got their terms and they want a 2 year lease, so now have to negotiate. Its a gorgeous place, but now we get the first decision point of taking a leap into an uncertain future and I dont feel like I have my treatment/team all situated and pat just yet. There will always be other places but this was really tops. Again - so bored of this cancer drama and its impact on my life :P
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Happy Birthday Mara!
Glad you are going home Sondra.
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Thank you so much Chicagoan.
Moomala, sorry to hear about the stress your Mom caused. Even if you know what it's like, still hard to deal with it. Glad you had your sister with you. Love the picture.
Sandra F, good luck with rads. May they offer well needed relief. Ask for nausea and indigestion meds ahead of time. May help to avoid the worst SE.
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Happy Birthday Mara!!! Hope you have a bright and sunshiny day! Do something for yourself... and have a great day!
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moomala~Love the pic... you look alike.... looks like you're having fun with your sister. Mom are always semi-annoying regardless, I know I am. It's all out of habits and love. Get some rest. I am resting my back today. Have no choice Love to all
waving to Tanya!!! candy~ Sondra~ hope you're coming home soon!!!! Hope you got some rest. Pain free..0 -
Runor~ Of course you have a sense of humor. It's what drew me to you in the first place. The show is great I am really enjoying it. Already begun the 7th season. Luckily there will be a season 8. Can't get enough honestly. It is strange humor and you have to pay attention (at least I do) but I honestly think it's clever. Try watching if you want a good laugh Which we all need.
Waving to Chicogan~~👋👋 hope you’re well
Lynnwood hello hello 👋!
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Sondra, so was the sacral met the only dx that came out of this? Did I miss something? Pinched nerve? Bulging disc? I am SOOOOo glad you are going home. You're going to be so much more comfortable there. Now - keeping in mind that I took a giant leap with my finances and was nowhere near ready to retire but I'm 63 and sometimes you just have to take that leap even if it seems uncertain. Your comfort and happy factor is so much more important and I'm guessing your partner may just be willing to help you with that confidence. I hope you can negotiate the terms to your liking and get into a nice new place with a walk-in shower.
Runor, I have some hair-curling stories about the things my mother said this weekend to vulnerable people who just want a mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, mother-in-law who is proud of them and loves them. Largely she is a man-hater and although I'm a boomer and could have easily stayed in the man-bashing zone along with a lot of my friends I have long side dropped the idea that men are really any different than women when it comes to emotional health informed by trauma. She is offensive and thinks she's being funny. I think what's different now that she is older is that she won't give up. I can tell her she's hurt someone's feelings with a certain sort of comment about their work, or how loud they're talking but just a few moments later she's back at it again.
Big snow coming today so I'm going to get groceries early and make some soup for tonight's dinner.
I realized yesterday that now that I've gone part-time at work I am working just to pay my insurance. My insurance premiums and deductlbles all just went up so I am fairly certain that to cover myself with insurance is more than I make per year. Not happy with this information so since I am 63 and not yet eligible for medicare I think I may need to re-visit SSDI and get myself kicked over to Medicaid. Ugh. I hate doing this. I don't mind utilizing the resources - it's just all the maneuvering. I would so much rather spend my time at my piano or withy book.
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Happy Birthday Mara!!!!!!!
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We made it home and I promptly burst out crying at the state of the kitchen. Other Half was never going to clean as well as I could, but I feel so frustrated I can't get in there and release some of this tension by cleaning. I love to clean and nothing feels to rights right now. It could have also been from exhaustion - essentially last night the 85 yr old woman in the bed next to me crashed out and her family were well, they were obviously in a state. This morning her daughter was crying that she wanted to go too when her mother went and she could tell she was fading in the eyes,etc, it was quite a situation. All you can do is try and give them some privacy and put on headphones but yes, was thrilled to be wheeled out of there! I know the kitchen will get sorted and Ill be able to use a vacuum again soon too, and walk and move and strengthen. It already feels better than it did last week.
I stood my ground and made sure to get one last good shower in the shower chair before I left too
Moomla - My mets are sacrum, right illiac and a few on the right pelvis, so in the final report when they discharged me it was nothing new, everything else tested out A-ok for fracture risk, etc. But i pointed it out to todays doctor about where the problem has always been, ever since June, and that they will correlate later in the week with the radiologist. Everything feels like its moving too quickly and not considered thoroughly though,so I do worry that perhaps this ISNT the right solution. I should take some of my ongoing questions over to the bone mets thread I think. As for the house, you are absolutely right, probably time to try living a little
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Hello Ladies~ my back is a bitch, just putting it out there. I slept from my muscle relaxers and now I'm Bonkers bored. I miss my DH. (Laine,I know you understand!) mondays are hardfor me because he goes back. I miss him terribly. He's such a hidden angel in this shit stew we call life. Today I'm down on myself, needed a break from mister adderall and it immmediately reminds me of what I can't do, without limitations and pain. Thank god the pain isn't constant. So I'm thinking more muscular. But Yowl. I don't much like always being alone. Somedays are better than others. As well all know. Cancer just sucks. Plain and simple.
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I hear you Mic, I hear you. Its like if the cancer isnt enough, have some back pain too! Why couldn't it be pain somewhere else less, you know, critical? Like a pinky finger.
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I was JUST thinking that too Sondra! Like I'll take elbow please. Just something that doesn't impede my ability to walk properly?
The snow is falling here. It's really pretty and a super quiet day here since the kiddos are off school. I have piano students throughout the day today while I'm working on a little studio organization.
Managed to get dinner in the crockpot this morning and a trip to the grocery store.
Sondra my mets are similar, just on the left side. i also have ribs, sternum and skull but who's counting. Its the lower left back and hip that's angry right now. I have acetabular mets and arthritis so the ortho onco thinks that is what causes the pain when Im walking. But honestly I don't think she really knows.
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exactly. Like my spine? Ugh. Noooooo I guess for sure cancer just happens. My Bff’s closest aunt and I am close to her as well. She just found out she has aggressive cancer and she is a getting a double mastectomy this month. I’m so upset for her. I know how she feels I know that fear. Seriously. Enough of cancer. Enough for us all.
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Mel, I do unserstand about missing your DH. I only see mine from Friday at about 8pm to Sunday at 4pm. It sucks. He's currently looking for a job in Nashville. (YAY) His company was supposed to transfer him back to Nashville last year and didn't. He's been with them for almost 20 years and they have moved him to Savannah, Ga, Ft. Myers, Fl, and now Memphis, Tn. I've always stayed in Nashville as our kids were in school or because I co-own a behavioral health practice and didn't want to give it up. I do so hope he finds a good job here.
I'm sorry your back is hurting so much. My has been hurting as well but nothing like yours. I hope it feels better soon.
Hope everyone is doing as well as possible.
Love and hugs to all,
Laine
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Oh Sondra, what an awful night, sorry for you and the family.
Scans are done, results tomorrow. Gonna try to relax now.
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sending good vibes Mae!!!! Relax and have a drink 🥃! Or maybe more like 🍹. Knowing you Hope your pockets don’t have crumbs in them We were a hungry bunch of squirrels! Hugs
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Thank you for the birthday wishes everyone.
Sondra, I am so sorry you had to experience the pain of the other family. Your issues do matter and your worries matter as well. Yes you are lucky you are going home but making your home the way you like with the challenges you are having is a big stressor for sure. Hope it will ease up soon.
Mel, I am also so sorry your back is being awful to you. Cancer certainly does suck and when it makes us unable to do what we need to, it is terrible. Healing thoughts to everyone here.
I did not get much done. Decided to get one more piece to complete my at home laundry. I have wanted to be able to wash my fuzzy blankets. I could not fit them in the tiny spin dryer attached to the portable washer. If the water is not spun out, it takes all day to dry a blanket. To that end, got a panda spin dryer which will hold a lot more laundry and I can spin the water out. Then toss it in the tumble dryer and it will take way less time. This should be all I need now. Just did not want to kill my little tumble dryer by running it the whole day. This new system should run very well. It should come Wednesday. Looking forward to it.
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Im so, so happy to be home - sitting in the sun this morning in the (home) office before logging in to work. Other Half made me some coffee before he left and that should help finish off the um, elimination situation. Hip/back are throbbing a bit, but I also missed my ibuprofen yesterday because I just crashed when I got home. I dont even know why I was sobbing as hard as I was - I told OH I wasn't sad, something emotional had to come out and there didn't seem to be much point to trying to stop it - it was almost like emotional vomiting in a way, just go for it until its out. Then I fell asleep for 12 hours and here we are!
Mara - I love your Tales of Laundry and I hope the fluffy blankets made your birthday the best it could have been.I also find laundry to be so soothing - like you can see the output of effort and its so systematized too! We don't have a dryer so also have to deal with Crunchy Towels and I would really like my sleeping blankie washed,but that will have to go to the laundry people I think.
Mae - best of luck with the scans.
Moomla - thats got to be tough managing the winter weather with a poor back. Do you just walk slowly or? My parents are in Wisconsin and I keep getting daily updates (along with pill taking tips from my mother) on the snow/melt cycle and how its impacting my father's fall cleanup schedule.
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Sondra, glad you are home and slept in your own bed. I can relate to the crying without feeling sad as well. It is a way to relieve emotional pressure for sure. Thanks for listening to my tales of laundry too.
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good morning beautiful ladies. Sondra. So glad sooo sooo glad you’re home. It makes such a difference our own slice of heaven. Where we can be us and give a good cry when we need to. I am sending you a big hug!
Mara~ Great solution to your tumble problems. !!!
MJH~ thinking of you
Muddling ~ thinking of you also
BooBoo~ ♥️ Hope you’re feeling better
Moomala~Hows your back this morning. ? I broke down and showered. What a little bit of water can do to wake you up. Felt good. I have a shower chair and only sit down when I shave portions of my crazy leg hair. Patches grew back, some didnt. Oh well. It helps. Hope you’re doing good today is really rainy And dreary. Have some errands to run! As usual! Cvs! Lol they must think I’m nuts. I have a lot of medicines to take. So I’m always there.
be well......be safe today lovelies.0 -
Daniel~ waving to Leslie and Gabriel! Thanks for touching base. Loving the news!!
Another OG checking. Loving that!
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Thanks for pocket duty everyone!
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yassssss Mae!!!!! Yessssss!!!!!!
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Mae~🌹♥️ Yessssssssss! Congratulations 🎉🍾🎈🎊!! That’s so freaking awesome. You go girl and kick that cancers ass!! Wwaaaahhhhhhhooooo!! So happy. Our pocket duty luck keeps a rolling. 🥃 toast to you 🥃....
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Hi all. Well winter hit here. Last night temp 9 degrees with wind chill below 0. Snow on the ground. So didn't go to the church this morning for the secretary thing. Pastor said he was ok with that- texted him. Still waiting on PET results (done Saturday).
Mae- Woohoo on stable scans.
Sondra- Glad you are back home.
All with pains- Moomala, Sondra, Mel- hoping the pain eases today.
Quiet day for me.
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Oh F*ck yeah Mae!!!! Now go celebrate
Candy - perhaps the cold now means not so much in Jan? We did a few years in Minneapolis and I DO NOT miss those freezing winds and driving a car like an ice cube at all.
Having a good day today - I did a trip down the stairs to the kitchen (had phone in a little pouch around my neck), put some stuff away, wiped down a counter and felt better about everything. Talked to line manager about work stuff, turns out her FIL is in breast cancer research or something. Work is supportive and they are pretty adamant about how if it take a few months to get situated then that is ok,dont worry about using holiday for sick time, etc. And I put in the offer on the house. Tomorrow Ill make some other calls I've been putting off and rest - its the team away day and since I can't go anywhere...free day!
Back pain has eased but I am now having some god awful leg pain and cramping that feels like my period is about to start. Is it the denosumab? the goserelin? Who knows! But laying down right now feels pretty good and I get ibuprofen in a bit. Frankenboob does look a bit less, well, solid is probably the right word. Rads planning appt booked for Friday.
The natives are getting restless downstairs but they are just gonna have to wait for the chow wagon to show up.
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Candy~Brrrrrrrr. Ugh it's cold here also today, it dropped 20 degrees in like an hour. It's pretty chilly outside and I saw my first flurry and it's windy. But that's about it. I'm not ready for snow again. Not even close. I don't like the shoveling part of things. My son is at work so late it all freezes over and makes it difficult to shovel afterwords. So it's just annoying.
Sondra~ Hope you're doing well today. Rest yourself up and be good to yourself, you've had a hard time of it.
Once again Yay Mae!
Moomala~ piano students today??
Grannax~ wassss up girl.
Tanya~ hi sweetheart ♥️
Santa~ hope all is well!
Pots~ hi ya darling.
Stillivin~ miss you!
Jensgotthis~ you doing ok ? Haven't seen you .
Gumdoctor~ you as well... thinking of you.
Iwrite~ hi there. Hope you're warm today. If you're not affected by the cold, hope you're doing something you like today!
Movingsoccermom~haven't seen you either...
Elleonwheels~ 👋👋
NKB~ hello there, how are you?
JKL~ JFL hello there strangers. Been a little while
Marie~hope you're good also. Lots of names, little brain. Lol.
If I've forgotten someone I'll be back
Minnie~sweet Minnie. how is your weather in Spain. I want to leap there and see what you see! My bff aunt just came back from there. She said it was magnificent! When she got back she learned she had breast cancer. So I'm trying to be there for her. I hate cancer. But love you Minnie! Hope your hip is cooperating-with you !
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