My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Jen,
I’m a big dog lover, and I applaud you for getting a rescue. Our Huey Lewis (picture a few pages back) is also a bundle of love. I wish you many years of happiness with Daphne!
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Dear Mel,
Somehow I missed your post about your Aunt and your Niece. I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray that your Niece will find a drug or procedure that might work. I am so upset to hear how she got so sick. I hope she or her family are compensated by her employer. It doesn’t change what happened, but could help her with expenses and raising her son.
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Jen~omg I love Daphne! Her smile is priceless. Love that pet parents sign! Is that your son? He’s adorable also! Most times those dogs have become the best dogs to own. They are just so damn happy to find a forever home. You do know what a great thing you guys did... ? My heart smiles for your little girl. Please post her hair cut! I gotta see. Love seeing you here beautiful woman!
Sondra~I am sending a hug!
Rosie~I love my iPad. So amazed at the graphics. Hope you had a good Christmas. I saw so many people I love my sweet friend. (She’s 23) bought me a new Vera Bradley wallet in my color scheme that I love! And a pill carrier for my purse. It’s lovely!
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Mel your new iPad sounds amazing and gold to boot
Rosie I love the pool classes too but on Sat I go to gym with a friend and she does group class and we’ll the pool takes prep time afterwards so I just hang with her which is also fun. Today I’ll walk at a nearby park.
Painter is in the kitchen and my DH hinted that the bedrooms next. Call the grandkids I’m not lifting anything bc the last time I cleared stuff out of a room my back hurt for 3 days.
Onc appt tomorrow the beautiful shots Mel and bloodwork.
Welcome Scott this thread moves quickly and is current daily so someone usually responds.
Mara did laundry last night and finishing last load this morning. Something about freshly washed laundry.
Oh no someone got a beautiful puppy with an overnight and wild hair but if I go back to look...
Tanya
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Jensgoththis congrats on your new addition Daphne to the family.
Booboo hope you’re doing well. Did you go to your new Dr yet?
Mel I love your Vera Bradley ensemble.
Tanya
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Does daphne have any Pug in her? The ears have some Pug, to my eye.
My kids had an underbite dog, a Cairn Terrier (like Toto). Love the underbite!!
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Tanya, you know me too well. I go between laundry and pushing myself to walk more steps everyday. I will always be a broken record when it comes to that.
Mel, beautiful wallet and pill carrier case. Those colors are to die for. What a lovely friend you have.
I am staying in today but still keeping up my activity. Switching up the walking on the treadmill. Instead of 10 minutes at a time, I'll hit my step count just one song at a time and do household chores between. My house was starting to look dusty. Laundry is always on the agenda. Probably haul out some garbage if it is not raining. Don't feel like being soaked today. Yesterday was fine but staying warm today. I already made a small bowl of movie theatre popcorn. Not the microwave stuff, the genuine stuff. I pre pop a bigger amount, put in airtight container and then just drizzle a little of the buttery tasting coconut oil, add 1/4 tsp more of the flavacol brand salt and heat up for 30 seconds. Makes it taste like fresh popcorn from the movie theatre. So yummy.
I don't do many other things than what you hear about here. Lots of housework type stuff, but that is partly because I have survived a year of hell this past year. Losing mom, having to disown my younger brother and most of his family, moving from house to apartment. The beginning of the year was sad all the way around no matter who was still helping me. Now that I am settled and all the legal stuff for myself and my mother is finished, I hope 2020 will be better and more peaceful. Starting to reach out to more old friends as well and wanting to be outside the house more often. I wasn't like that even before I was sick, just a hermit. So yes, I do ordinary things that make me happy, talk to other people besides just family and overall live for me. I am grateful to still be healthy enough.
I hope everyone knows that you all mean so much to me and if I ever miss something you may be going through, I am always thinking about my family here. You are the one group that really listens and hears me when I talk, even about boring things. I really appreciate that. I do sometimes feel lost in the crowd without a job or interesting things to talk about so it is so very important that you know how much you all mean to me. You and my check in call who became my phone friend listen and it means a lot.
That was the long way of saying a simple thank you, you all mean a lot. Mel thank you for this room.
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Mara,
You are a very important part of this family. I want you to know how much you matter to all of us. I wish I had the money to send you a first-class plane ticket to FL! I'd spoil you and take you to so many fun places, you'd be begging for a nap! And we'll invite Tanya because she is so much fun!
Big hugs, my dear girl. 2020 is going to be a good year. I am approaching it with a positive attitude, and have decided to be grateful for every single day. I hope you'll join me. More smiles, less frowns. More fun, less staying in, more reaching out to make new friends, less judging others. I am dtermined to make this year my best ever!
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Laurie, I fully intend to join you on a better year for 2020. Looking forward to different experiences, I am seeing Rise of Skywalker again on the first but with a friend this time. I am going to a harry potter in concert in May. Taking myself to that one. I am looking forward to holding myself more accountable for life enjoyment too. Need to kick myself in the butt to do more things. I have to admit, I even enjoyed the bus rides last couple of days, just for the people watching.
FL sounds like a lot of fun, just not sure about travel insurance for a person with MBC. I perhaps should look into that as one of my things to do. It must be able to be done.
Thank you again for your kindness.
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Hi All, been checking in but not posting much. Welcome Scott, hope your wife can enjoy some breathing space as well as all the cancer stuff.
Took my Difficult Dad to the docs today after he was found unconscious on the quiet path near his house a couple of weeks ago and spent the night in A&E after a kind person found him and rang 999. Had that been a week earlier it would have been -5 and he'd have probably died. As it was he was absolutely fine once warmed up and mortified! He's 77 living 40 miles away from me and on his own, but drinks too much and doesn't eat well despite my best efforts and that's his second a&e visit this year for the same reason. Finally had to tell his doc about my stage IV and that I wouldn't be able to look after him as I could previously. He needs to accept that if he can't keep himself safe, then social services may intervene with a light touch intially. He's not an easy man, to say the least, which is one reason the rest of his family steer clear and that's what he chooses too, but the doc handled him beautifully. We'll see...
Mara - travel insurance is possible if you shop around. In the UK I use a company called Insurance With - set up by a broker who was a cancer patient and shocked at the cost of travel insurance for us. It costs me around £30 pounds to have full cover specific to my needs for a holiday in Madeira. There MUST be similar in Canada?
Happy Hogmanay!
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Karenfizedbo, I am glad your dad was found in time, but you are right, someone may need to intervene.
I will take a look around for travel insurance I think. There are some places I would like to go and I have really never travelled that far. Furthest away from me in Ontario, Canada was a visit to Quebec City about 11 hours away. That was back in elementary school. Would not mind visiting the US sometime for sure. May decide to look into pricing. I can always say no if I do not like the pricing.
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Karen~wow that's some scary stuff... I'm so glad someone found your father, as we age it just becomes harder and harder to do things. He's lucky someone helped.
I'm having cracked skin on my heels. Yowl! I'm starting round #39 on ibrance or #40 I forget it's kicking my skins ass. My elbows. Knees, feet. Awful. They crack then bleed. Then it hurts to walk on them. I need to stick them In a vat of moisturizer!
Good night ladies. Mara, Candy, Tanya,Sondra, Karen,Jen, where's Moomala been? Hello BooBoo! Grannax? Minnie! Mae! Movingsoccer! Dodgersgirl! Satnta!Sleep well
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Hi all.
Not much going on here. Not doing the volunteer church secretary thing today or tomorrow due to the Holidays. I guess I lead a pretty boring life. Always have. But with not working now, it is worse. So no plans for the New Year. Maybe order take-out tonight to "celebrate" New Years Eve. Otherwise quiet here by myself. TV, reading, and visiting with BCO. But thankful that Ibrance/Letrozole is continuing to work for me. Wonder (worry) what 2020 will bring--hurts to read about the ones on here that are struggling. And will that be me in the New Year. Next scans in Feb.
I will be checking in here during the next 2 days. For anyone who wants to talk.
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Candy, I will probably order in as well. Just fast food but I like it. Will probably just go to bed early as I have not stayed up until midnight for years. I am not expecting to see family tonight either which is OK by me. Will probably just have a fast food dinner.
Looking forward to tomorrow, going to a movie with a friend I have not seen in almost a year to a movie we both want to see.
Hoping 2020 is a less bumpy ride than this past year.
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Wishing you all a better 2020. May treatments work/continue to work. Peace for all.
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Home from my 2nd MRI in the last 2 weeks (plus a PET scan). Hoping that will be all for a while. Neck and back are a bit sore from the hard surface of the MRI machine.
Like Candy-678 and Mara51506, dh and I will be in tonight for a quiet night. Don’t believe we will “see” in the new year. Not sure what we will have for dinner. I bought food for the week assuming rads would be happening but they aren’t even scheduled yet so maybe we will just pick up dinner tonight, too
Karenfizedbo15- sorry about the troubles with your dad. Going thru something like that myself. It’s hard. Had to look up “Hogmanay“. Happy New Year to you, too
Micmel’s— sorry you have to put up with cracked skin from I/L is there anything that helps that SE?
Hoping everyone is doing well and hoping 2020 will see more reports of NEAD or at least stable mets for all of us
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I'm here! I just have not been posting! Been struggling a little with my back for some reason and it's gotten me down a little bit. Am not feeling as good on Afinitor/Aromasin as I was on Ibrance/Letrozole Aching head to toe (even my shins are painful), really sleepy tired and sometimes weepy tired, and for some reason my back just feels awful the last 4-5 days and my mobility is a bit limited where it was not a week or two ago. It's making me curious if I have another compression fracture. Ugh. Also why can't everything just be Ibrance??? I had such an easy time on that drug.
I'll see the orthopedist and the oncologist NP on Thursday this week to discuss all things back, hips, tiredness and Afinitor. Plus i guess I'm still recovering from this peumonia. I have not had fever or cough for over two weeks but I'm still super duper tired. Is that pneumonia ? Afinitor?
Just why why why don't they have all the answers!!!Still though, I'm going to gussy up a little bit and go to a party for an hour or so this evening and drink a glass of wine. The party begins at 6:30 and They're having a big fancy dinner at 8:30 which is way too late for me. I've convinced my husband to stay out and party a little. I'll be in bed by 9PM
I actually made dinner yesterday (crockpot chuck roast with carrots and potatoes and a pot of ranch beans from scratch). Then I was inspired by Mara getting 10K steps so I did a 1 mile walk followed by PT exercises. Then my friend came over for a visit And I guess I can see why I was so freaking tired yesterday!!!! My bed looked SO good last night. But sometimes I admit I feel like giving up. If my back is just going to be hurting like this all the time what's the point. I think I can live with most SE's but my back is a permanent situation and after having gotten significantly better this summer it has quickly deteriorated. Maybe it's temporary, maybe not but it's sure hard to live with and I am feeling ready for help with pain. And what's causing the pain anyway? I have had zero bone pain from cancer. Did it decide to start hurting now? Did I injure something? Is it the Afinitor? Anyway - see the orthopedic oncologist thursday who is not a back doctor but may have some things to say about my back. I just saw my back Dec 9 after some MRI's and of course my back was not hurting like this at that time.
It doesn't help that two weeks ago I lost a very dear dear friend to multiple myeloma and then just a few days before Christmas a thirty-year old woman in my MBC support group passed away. I feel so angry about both of them. And my 37 year old daughter is being imaged today for a breast lump.
Anyway. That's how I'm feeling this week and it has me a little down in the dumps. 2019 was so damned hard and I walk into 2020 with just as many questions.
Hi Candy and Mara! I'll be home early if you're around. I'm wearing white pants this evening. I'm a baby boomer so white pants after Labor Day has always felt so rebellious. I bought them to wear through all the holidays and haven't had a chance to wear them at ALL with the pneumonia. I'm laughing at myself becuase I will likely be at this party long enough to have a glass of wine and some cheese/crackers before I get tired and head home but darn I am going to dress up and look nice!!! Hi Scott and welcome! Karen what a relief that your difficult dad was found and survived. My gosh how scary! BooBoo how are you feeling??? Were you able to get out and about for Christmas at all?
Happy New Year my BCO Mel's Living Room friends! I'm so glad I've gotten to know you this year. There are so many times I come here just to know that perhaps one of you is here browsing too.
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Moomala, enjoy your glass of wine. You go on with those white pants. If I owned white pants, I would most certainly wear them after labor day myself.
I am going to order in some fast food as I enjoy it and probably watch a couple of movies. I go out to the movies tomorrow with a friend to see Rise of Skywalker again. Looking forward to that for sure.
Hope everyone has a good new years whether going out or staying home. I admit that I don't very often stay up until midnight so it usually becomes the next year anyway.
Imagine Barbara Walters for this coming year saying "This....is 20/20
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Moomala- Good to hear your voice. I too have chronic back issues, but not the cancer. L5S1 disc degeneration that is noted "advanced" on CT's. Ortho doc said if I was "healthy" she would advise either a disc replacement or spinal fusion, but with the cancer NO surgery. Also NO epidural steroid injection (2nd option) due to white counts (Ibrance use) and NO pain meds due to liver met. So what can you do?? Nights are the worst for me--sleep with mult pillows and lots of tossing and turning. Thanks cancer. I posted above that I fear/worry about moving from Ibrance--relatively easy treatment. What will be next? How will I feel? Keep us updated on your Thurs appts. Enjoy your party this evening.
Mara- Enjoy your movie tomorrow with your friend.
DodgersGirl- Have a restful evening after all your tests. And let us know when you find out results.
I will be in bed WAY before midnight, but I will be checking in here later tonight. Thankful that you all are here with me.
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another one staying in tonight... DH is smoking a roast for pulled pork. Just he and I tonight. We are already tired. Especially him. He’s been tending to this roast since early this morning. He’ll be out by ten. I right alongside of him.
Good to see you Moomala! Was starting to worry. I’m sorry you’re in annoying pain. It does get to you for sure. Hope they get it together.
Candy hi ya. Mara. I love fast food. All kinds especially burgers! Yummy.
Happy New Year to you all! Hope I can make it till midnight. I doubt it. Lol
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coming back, looking for a hug.
MO just called. I am being scheduled for my THIRD MRI since Dec 20th and for some reason, this one took all the wind out of my sails. 3rd MRI will be for lumbar and pelvic region.
Also being scheduled for biopsy on my right pelvic area.
I know you guys have all been thru this and more and I feel wimpy that this has gotten to me. I have been strong for my family thru this so far. Something about having to do another MRI just overwhelmed me. I am sitting here in pain from today’s MRI— neck and back are letting me know they did not appreciate scooching around on the table to get lined up for the test.
Thanks for giving me a place to “vent”. Now I need to put on my big girl pants and move forward
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DodgersGirl,
Sending a hug your way. Let yourself vent a bit. These things can always hit us hard. On the bright side, they are clearly trying to determine exactly where your mets are, and how to treat them. At least the docs are being aggressive. Take a deep breath and the MRI will be over before you know it. Then you can get a plan in place. It's always better knowing.
For tonight, wrap yourself in a big cozy blanket and have a warm cup of tea or whatever -- this, too, shall pass. Good luck.
Bev
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Bev, thanks for the comforting words. A cup of hot tea sound perfect. Think I will do just that tonight!
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Dodgers girl, I have to second Bev's suggestion. Of course another MRI would be taking the wind out of your sails. Tea will help and I love being cozied up in a blanket. I am wrapped up as we speak. Going to watch a movie and probably go to bed. Won't purposely stay up until midnight. This is my first New Years on my own. I am a bit lonely but figure the movie can help. Chocolate will also help so I think I will grab some and find a movie to watch tonight.
Hope everyone else has a good New Years, whether you are up to see it or decide to go to bed. Either way, when you get up you can say This is 20/20
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DodgersGirl- Hug from here. As BevJen said, at least the docs are not leaving stones unturned and hopefully they will get all the info they need to formulate a plan for you. Relax tonight. When is next MRI? Have you/can you listen to music as they do the test? I have done that before and it helps me with the anxiety and helps the time pass quicker.
Mel- The pulled pork sounds yummy.
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Hi Moomala and All of my MBC Sisters,
What a difficult night I'm having. Hubby and I have decided to call it quits. This has been a long time coming. I cannot support him any longer. I need someone who will support me, and he's tied up in his own problems with alcohol. We just cannot continue this way
Anyway, Moomala, it has taken me over 2 months to start feeling better. I know you've been through it too. Hoping you are feeling better...much better! I so understand your thoughts about ending the pain. I am so VERY tired of this whole craziness called Metastatic Breast Cancer. But I do believe there are better days around the corner. It's really what's keeping me going.
Happy New Year to all of you.
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Mara, not sure whether I’ll make it to the ball drop (NYC—tv only) but I’ll definitely do the Barbara Walters announcement for DH tomorrow. Thanks! 😊
DodgersGirl, I feel your frustration and worry. I felt like I had constant tests for a month at my diagnosis time. The worst for me was the breast MRI because of the position (face down, breasts in openings, ugh) and the fact that I had a machine malfunction once I was all prepared in position with IV placed. Yep, had to get out, get dressed, drive to new location, wait till after the last appointment of the day since I was being squeezed in, and hope the next machine worked. It did, thankfully. But as BevJen and Mara have said (kind of), get yourself comfy tonight and try to take your mind off things for a bit. It does help mentally to get your treatment plan and start it.
Moomala, sorry to hear of your pains, your lack of energy, and feeling down. That’s a lot to deal with at one time. I wish a benign report for your daughter, and better days ahead for you.
Candy, hello, I hope you’re having a nice evening. I don’t often have much to post, but I check in here a lot too. So glad Mel gave everyone this place for visiting with each other.
I’ll be happy to say goodbye to 2019. I was undergoing bunches of tests at this time last year and most of them weren’t good results. Things did get better once I adjusted to I/L and had some improvement in my scans, but the sense of always wondering what’s next is what I try to push out of my mind. I think you all can relate? Anyway, wishing you all a Happy 2020. Or is that 20/20?? I’m glad to have you all as friends.
Rosie
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Booboo, Hugs to you. It sounds like you know this is the right thing but it will still be difficult. You deserve to be happy and supported. 💖
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BooBoo~I want to hug you and tell you you’re a strong woman. To just realize that you feel like this. That says to me strong. It won’t be easy but I am a phone all away. Do you have family back this way? I am sorry honey. Alcohol can damage a lot of things. Physically and in relationships! Holding your hand and hoping you’re feeling better. Love you friend! One day at a time, is all we can do.
Rosie~Good to see you!
Candy~it was delicious! Tender tender!!
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Much love and well wishes to all on this thread. Thank you for letting me pop in to your living room. It's a very special place with very gracious people. Happy New Year!
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