My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Merry Christmas to everyone here. My thoughts are with anyone who has lost someone recently.
I lost it a little at a Christmas Eve party at my SILs mothers house. But pulled myself together and told my Mom I love her. I also wished her a Merry Christmas today. Will be going over to DB for a smaller Christmas dinner so looking forward to that. Other than that today will simply be about treadmill, laundry and then going to his place. Makes me happy and keeps the sadness away. She would not want me to be sad, but enjoy the holiday even without her and half the family. I am going to do that for her. Love you Mom
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Mara~I’m sorry honey, first year without my father as well. I feel it too.. im trying to talk about him and remind myself of our love, Merry Christmas to everyone.....
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Merry Christmas to you all...I agree with Lily and hope it is Ok to, also, post on here (as I’m, also, not stage 4).
I really want to *say* that I love the bonding and the love that you all have for each other, you are indeed a very special and beautiful group of ladies...
God Bless you all and have a very happy 2020!!
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I truly wishHappy Holidays to all who celebrate.
Tanya
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Dancing elizabeth, you don't have to be stage IV on this particular thread. At the bottom of the page where it shows post a reply, it shows in forum Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute). If you see something that says open to all to contribute, you most certainly can post here if you wish. This is like a living room Mel created and we don't just talk stage IV issues, we talk to each other about the ups and downs that we all experience.
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Wildlife report: Sharing snacks with a new friend!
And a homemade holiday tree
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Thanks Mara...😊
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Mae - that looks like a great time. You didn't share that cheeseboard wholly with the squirrel did you?!
We are just about to the main event here and its *checks time* 8:15pm. Due to my family tradition we open gifts after dinner, but before Die Hard. OH did the dinner dishes while I laid down and took a Tylenol, so all that is left is to eat some chocolates and enjoy the tree and the presents. I had a bit of alcohol at dinner (my week off!) but honestly think I can more or less do without it now. Tomorrow is Boxing Day here so another day off, which means OH will be in Soft Pants and eating ham sandwiches on homemade bread while watching nonstop football/soccer and dozing. He's earned it.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all - I hope everyone is having a lovely time doing what they love with those they love!
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Mel, hugs to you as well for the people you lost too. Hope you enjoy the rest of your Christmas
Mae, cute pictures and pine comb tree.
Sondra, this year I actually did watch Die Hard. Not a tradition but decided to watch as I like the first one. Enjoyed it quite a bit.
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Mae that snack tray looks DELICIOUS! Nice of you and DH to share with the squirrel!
Non-MBC folks - thank you so much for your love and support. I am reciprocating that love and support to you as well. None of this is easy no matter what stage we are. We are in the boobie club and we sure didn't nominate ourselves to join.
Happiest of holidays to all those celebrating. Love to those who are missing their loved ones and/or feeling lonely, isolated, in pain, fatigued. I hope we are all able to relax a bit, enjoy some treats, and soon enough, it will be mid-January! And then what?
I am doing well - just party hopping a bit here in Philly. Final party is tonight. Been hydrating myself all day cause there is a lot of (good) wine that will be served and I would like to partake. Starting back up on Ibrance after a little break has me feeling slightly queasy the past couple of days
so gonna do my best to listen to my body and ENJOY!Hugs and love to all,
Philly
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Sondra, I did share snacks with DH too but the squirrel definitely had a good day. They must be fed often because they are pretty tame and fat, lol and I love the Die Hard tradition. I watch it every Christmas too.
Thanks Mara 😁
Philly, I'm gearing up for drinking too (water & grape electrolyte drink) otherwise I get some horrible leg cramps with too much wine. Have fun!
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I had a nice dinner at my brothers place, good fixings. Ate a lot of turkey and stuffing. We were sitting around at the table when I started feeling really hot and breathing harder. Thought I was passing out. No managed to have a seizure. Passed out at the table. Got terribly nauseated for a few minutes. They tried to get me to the living room but I apparently was unconscious on their table. Feel really bad about it. Not so much embarrassment but because I have not had any seizures in months. Just really disappointed.
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Oh no Mara! Do you think the seizure was related to brain mets? You didn’t need to go to the hospital? I’m sorry, I hope all is ok.
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I don't think so Mae. I am also not 100 per cent convinced it was a seizure as I was not mentally confused. I honestly think it was low blood pressure after dinner brought on by too many carbs like the stuffing, potatoes etc. I was also really tired from being out late the night before. I just found that I felt overheated and needed to get my head down on the table. I know I was unconscious at least part of the time. I do tend to have low blood pressure and it would not surprise me if the meal caused it to drop. I feel tired but not confused. I will mention this to my chemo nurses as I have an infusion Friday. I just felt bad and kind of embarrassed doing it at my brothers place. My nephew and SIL had to come home as they were not comfortable having me walk up to my place with the presents. I am going to bed now and hope it was just a combo of being overtired and too big a meal. I did not go to the hospital, really think it was a more dramatic faint. I honestly am not worried about mets at this point. Off too bed now and will sleep in tomorrow. May start having small meals going forward to make sure this is not a pattern.
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Oh mara, that sounds awful (and like you said, so embarassing, but let's not dwell on that, shall we!). At least you have a chance to interface with medical folks in the next day or two to ask about this. I've also found that I can't eat a) nearly as much as I could and b) carbs really do me in too to where I need to lie down/take a quick nap. Low blood pressure runs in my family and my mom always said that when she has episodes it felt like she needed to get horizontal and as low as she could go - like the floor wasn't even low enough. Her brother has been the butt of family jokes for 65+ years because he has always passed out on the couch stone cold after dinner, and sometimes sitting up at the table he falls asleep. And its not a light doze it is dead to the world sleep for an hour or two and my aunt has to drive them home.
Its tough to call a time out though right at the start of a big family meal, to up and declare you need to get horizontal right now for five minutes. You also had a lot of turkey that has the tryptophane in it that causes sleepiness. I do hope the food was worth it?
Philly - figured you were out painting the town red! Glad to see you pop by.
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Mara, is it low blood pressure or low blood sugar? Hub has hypoglycemia, which means his blood sugar rises and falls sharply over the course of a day if he does not eat pretty much constantly. (Mae should set out a plate for my constantly nibbling husband). He can literally become a stumbling, mumbling, shaking, weak, clammy mess. He gets this way when he's too hungry. But it's also bad when he has been hungry and then takes on a big load of food. His goal is to never go very long without a granola bar or handful of nuts to nibble on.
If you were tired, hot, sad, stressed and having blood sugar issues, yup, I can totally see your body checking out. Once I watched a guy go into a diabetic shock and it was almost like a seizure. One second he was there and within 60 seconds all of us sitting next to him realized that something was seriously wrong and I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and literally held him upright while someone else tipped a bottle of coke into his mouth. In 10 minutes he was back to normal, but it scared the hell out of all of us. You might want to get your blood sugar levels checked.
Merry Christmas to all. I have cooked, I have cleaned and now I go to bed!
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Thank you Sondra and rumor I do think it was low blood related. No shaky feeling. I definitely consumed a lot of food. I usually can eat a fair amount but it usually involves a lot more protein.. Too many carbs like potatoes and stuffing probably lowered my blood pressure.
When I got home, I went to bed early. Slept 10 hours off and on. Feel fine today.
I did have a decent Christmas otherwise. Hope everyone else did. Happy boxing day Canada and UK members.
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Dear Tanya,
I read your story (and also Mae’s) and was honored that you mentioned our lunch together. Let’s plan a date in January to have lunch again. You are truly amazing, not only what you’ve been through physically, but also the way you have continued to give back. My New Years resolution is to get involved in something where I can give back. I think this is your secret to living with this disease and to staying calm and peaceful. God bless you.
Hope to see you soon!
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Hi Mara,
Hoping you are okay. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you
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Mara51506–. So sorry you had to go thru that episode during dinner. Glad it was short lived and that you are feeling better.
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Thanks dodgersgirl and Laurie. I am feeling better today. Just chilling out today, doing some laundry. I have also read up on how to avoid this. I will go for a walk a few times around their parking lot when over there and make sure I drink plenty of water. Apparently a walk may help stop the drop in blood pressure. I eat a lot of carbs BUT not necessarily that many at once. My normal suppers are not as big. Oh well, it still tasted good..
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mara, I can relate!! it may have been what they call a ventral vagal response. I am a bit of a fainter... due to low blood pressure in my case... I get dizzy standing up from a hot bath, Once I fainted from an unexpected sharp needle poke and my MD thought it was likely due to the vagus nerve shutting me down, in response to the sharp pain. My most embarrassing fainting episodes: one was fainting on an airplane in flight, as I made my way back from the bathroom. My second was fainting at a meditation class full of other people also meditating! Kind of hilarious now. Last thing I knew I was VERY FLIPPING RELAXED, feeling very good, and next thing I knew people were standing over me, with great concern in their voices and faces, and I was on the floor, and someone had called the fire dept!!
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Mara~I am so glad you're feeling better! I feel faint quite a bit sometimes. My room has spun a time or,two. I am sending you a hug! Sleep always helps for sure Sometimes we just do too much. Or we try.
I had a great Christmas! It truly was more than I could ask for. Hello to Runor. Mae, Tanya, and BooBoo, Dodgersgirl....Sondra... hugs to all.. Watched A Christmas Story... so good!! Philly.....😁💕
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Hello all.
Mara- Oh my gosh, girl. Definitely tell your medical team. Sounds kind of like a seizure when you say you slept on and off for 10 hours after. You stated you have had seizures before--similar to this situation? Just take care of yourself.
Glad Christmas is over and back to the regular daily stuff. Christmas was ok for me. Quiet. Sister and her family came over later in the day yesterday. No mention of the Disability drama (see previous posts from me). Good that we did not get into it again, but also no apology from BIL. Oh well. I know I need to toughen up and not let people bother me so much. I just really want people to like me and to think good thoughts about me. That my legacy will be that I was a strong woman, honest, hard worker, tough. And it hurts to think others may judge me---"She is stable. She should have worked until things got worse. She is being a wimp and giving up too soon. She lays around the house not working anymore." I know I cannot stop people from thinking what they will. I need to get to the point that I don't care, but I am not there yet. My nephew (BIL's son) said to me yesterday "Aunt 'Candy', what time do you get up now that you are retired?" I told him between 5:30 and 6am, which is true. Then someone else changed the conversation--you know how it is with many people talking all at once. I never got around to asking my nephew why he was asking about my wakeup time. Was he going to tell me something related to that, or was his father talking about me sometime- lounging in bed since I am not working anymore? Maybe I am being paranoid. Oh well. Sigh....
Hugs to all.
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Santabarbarian, you poor thing. I was glad I was seated when everything started to turn grey and I started sweating profusely as well. I just put my head on my arms on the dinner table. Luckily food was cleared away and I stayed there.
My SIL is sure it was a seizure since she claims my arms were shaking, though when I woke up I was cold as she covered me in a wet towel to try and cool me down. I am not going to argue otherwise, except I never had any confusion upon waking, just was very tired. My seizures I have had related to any brain mets or activity have all involved a LONG period of confusion and aphasia. This was not like that. Still think it was low blood pressure myself since I also had this issue for a while while using the washroom when they were trying to increase my anticonvulsant. That cause my BP to be extremely low which did not help when the vagus nerve was stimulated.
I am still going to go for a walk after meals whether I am here, or over there to avoid this issue. I still think the carbs were absorbed quickly which caused my BP to drop. Need to be more aware or just fidget my legs when sitting at the table. That will help a lot. More water too.
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Hello Candy~I had such a good holiday that I want it to last... being with my family is so much fun. My DD and SIL came, if some of you remember we had religious issues that strained a lot between us, since she was married and leading up to the wedding. It's good now, but wow. Rip a moms soul out didn't seem to be too hard to do at times.. but in the end patience won out!! Hope you had a great time with your family too! I missed my dad. That was hard on me, and my sister. Ugh. Life.
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Mel, glad you had good holidays and that DD and SIL came as well. Hugs to you and your family about your dad.
I was tearful Christmas Eve a couple of times about Mom, did not feel tearful on Christmas. Just wished her picture Merry Christmas and gave it a kiss. I knew that wherever she was, she would prefer me not spend all my time sad. So I did not.
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Hello all
Made it through yesterday which is my brothers birthday. He’s been gone 3 years now and losing him was tough. Lost my dad and brother within two months of each other in 2016.
mara you did good just kiss the picture and ...My siblings posted all over social media his pictures. Anyway it’s really just missing them.
Booboo where did you read the articles?
Take care all
Tanya
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Just had to post. Discovered the neatest thing to grind up and put in my spinach salad to add some crunch besides croutons. I took some of my movie theatre popcorn I made early. Added a handful to my handychopper and chopped them up along with my croutons and a bit of tortilla chips. I also chop the baby spinach to smaller pieces and mix the concoction together, add bacon ranch. The popcorn gave such a good taste that I must say, it was quite enjoyable. Looking forward to adding things to my spinach salad in future. I'm not much for other veggies but baby spinach salad is an almost daily occurence.
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