My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Leapfrog,
Your courageous decisions are an inspiration to us all. I’m sorry that you have had so much on your plate! Life sure does throw some doozies at us! We are here for you to vent to at anytime!
Has your Mo been giving you something for bone strengthening? It works wonders for us Bone Mets gals. Also has an anti-tumoral effect.
Love and hugs to everyone
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Mae~So glad you're up and running! That is annoying as hell! My phone is an extension of my arm! Mae a few ticks wouldn't worry me either. Could be residual effects from gamma. Burning off the shrinkage!!
The thread has been quite active! It's doing very well, I have had several pm's, commenting to me on how well it's doing. It makes me happy, coming together here everyday like we do. It is exactly what I had hoped for when I made it. Thanks. For being one of the first Mae, and have become one of my closest. I adore you! Relax when the party is done. I hope you have a great time making those memories. Much love ~M~
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leapfrog~You are a extraordinary woman! I am in awe of that ability to want to be on your own. I'm alone a lot. And I don't mind at all! But my kids come and go all day long, school (college) and working. My DD'S significant other also lives with us. On most weekends my DH drives up from out of state for usually three day weekends. We have two houses. It's a busy stressful life with cancer, no matter what your life is like. Throw in cancer and everything seems so much more difficult. But there you are, taking control. I think you're wonderful! Keep being strong! We are here! Big hugs ~M~
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Chelle~I'll be giving you my address! It looks fabulous, it actually makes me want to decorate, I'm a little behind, but can still do it. I love the beautiful combination of colors you chose, and your new house is really beautiful, more pictures please!!! Were you up all night ? I actually slept pretty good. I'm going back to check grand puppy in a few mins. Wish me luck for no reoccurances! Like yesterday! You're inspiring me to decorate after all! Ugh ! That means outside also. Good grief! Much love ~M~
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Leapfrog - You sound so much better than before. I believe taking charge of your life is momentus! Especially since you are sticking to your guns. You go! You are woman, and we hear you roar!
Chelle - You decorating is gorgeous! More pics! I'm not sure when we will do ours, I need Dh to go to the storage unit and get the boxes out...sigh...
Thank you so much for asking after Bigb, we will get through this. I am heavily researching Cushings, and we will start slowly making changes that will do no harm if he ends up not having it. After his course on anti-inflammatory and pain meds, we will have the Equine Massage Therapist here to get any kinks out. Then go from there. I found a tumor on our old dog yesterday. Dh and I decided we don't want to know what it is. We are going to keep him happy and healthy and we will know when it's time to let him go. Unfortunately, this is the circle of life. I just wish they lasted longer! He is a great dog!
Gotta go, need to call national guard base and see if they are having war games this weekend, something just rattled our windows.
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Looks like the good scan news we've been having in our little group continues. I just listened to the verbal report of the scan I had this morning and all is stable. Bone mets only and all sclerotic. What a relief! I will tell you that I cried when I hung up the phone. So stressful and then the dam bursts. Just waiting to talk to me onc next, she is usually excellent about calling me with results. Thank you all for your support, prayers and encouraging words! It means so much to be able to spill my deepest darkest fears to people that completely understand, Now I feel like I can relax and enjoy the holiday..the first one in 15 years that I won't have to celebrate around my work schedule.
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Claudia~ hi darling ! I am hoping very much that Bigb will be ok with the medicine and pain management. I remember when my horse fancy had a lame leg, we were always worried. You felt your windows shake?? I had known there was some sort of earth quake, I don't know where though. Geeze maybe you were in range! I feel a couple of tumors on my dog, I had them looked at and she said it was fatty tumors, as long as they are squishy and moveable. I adore dogs also. I would have many if I could. But they are such work. Especially when they are extremely large! I hope that both animals are ok!
Hugs ~M~
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Lynnwood~Congrats to you! I am so happy that your scans are stable. I had good feelings about it. I am so glad your relieved, I soo know how that feels. I cried also when I got my results as well. You deserve to let it out. Now we can enjoy Christmas and truly know we have a lot to be thankful for this season. Physically lately I've been feeling great, still get tired easy. But I'm seeing that each day I watch Chief, and I walk him everyday. It's starting to feel easier each walk. I'm hoping that continues,but of course soon old man winter will be blowing his winds. I don't do well in extra hot, nor extra cold! Once again, huge congratulations 🎉🎈🍾🎊. So pleased you have your results. Much love ~M~ Sit back and take a deep breath. STABLE!! Yeah!
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Lynnwood, WOOHOO for your results. It is always so good to read good news. Now you can put your scans behind you and enjoy the holidays! WOOHOO!! I am doing that happy dance for you.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Hi everyone, I met my husband when I was 17, at a local dance. We married 2 years later, 1st daughter a year later and 2nd daughter 3 years after. Always plenty of love and sex!! Then he had a heart problem 15 years ago and had a double bypass. We decided to take early retirement and move to Spain. First few years were wonderful, then I had my first diagnosis. However, got past that. All wonderful again till last year and MBC. Hard for both of us I know, and intimacy is hard because of my hip pain, but we try now and again!! God loves a tryer!! I dread leaving him alone. I know he will be ok, just afraid of the wolves lying in wait. Hope he is strong enough to cope with them. Please all of you, don' worry about weight. I want some. I'm too skinny. Going to sleep in my part of the world. Good night all. Sweet dream
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Minnie~ that's precious 17!!! Amazing, now that is certainly a love story! I am sorry that you are dealing with the shitty MBC, we understand! Sounds like you have quite a keeper! I am sorry about his heart issue. That alone is scary. Just love on that man, and I hope that you will have many many more years to be the wonderful couple you are! MBC sucks, it's a struggle every single day! Some days good, some bad. Gotta live for every single moment. Hugs to you ! ~M~
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thank you Micmel. Some days are hard, but reading all about you ladies is really helping me. Love to all, and wishing everyone at least 1 good day this weekend xx
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PET scan done. Bone scan next Tuesday then that horrid week long wait!!! Ugh!!
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Minnie~ you have no idea how happy that makes me. I wanted this group of wonderful ladies to lean on each other and realize we become actual friends. I adore each and every one of you! Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Lynnwood~ CONGRATS again ! 🤗🤗🤗
Much love ~M~
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Gracie~ one down, one to go! I know it's hard to not panic. I effin hate waiting. When will you find out? My doc usually doesn't even call,I have to wait. But I said ugh not having that anymore! You're on my mind and I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts and strength! XO ~M~
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best wishes Gracie x
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Thanks Minnie!
Mel, my doc won’t tell me either until I see him and that’s one week after my bone scan!!! I’ll be stark raving mad by then lol!!
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I guess I'm lucky, my onc always calls the same day I get the scan. Although today for the first time she had the nurse call to tell me everything was stable. I couldn't stand the waiting, I would have a nervous breakdown! It's hard enough waiting a couple of hours.
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yeah, I wish I could get info quicker! It’s horrible waiting!!
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I honestly think it's really cruel. I mean they have to know how hard this is for us all. I mean it's only our life and all! I had my grand puppy again today. Had to make sure he was ok after spending all that time with him this week with his belly being sick. But today was fun. I feel like this dog should be my dog. I took my first selfie of my life ladies, with Chief!! Today on a windy beautiful blue sky afternoon! I have never liked pictures ever. My DH would always get upset with me when I would put my hand up, he would say "what if something happened to you and all your grandchildren would see would be your hand." Who would have ever known how so very true that would turn out to be. It's mind blowing now that I even think back on it. Kinda gives me the chills. Strange how things go sometimes. I knew about a year before diagnosis that I felt like something bad was going to happen, I didn't know with who , or what, but it was this feeling of dread. Like something was coming. It was an odd feeling then. Who would have ever known it was myself I was feeling. Amazes me. A year before I was diagnosed I was speaking with my son, and I said I don't think I can ever picture myself as an old lady, no matter how hard I tried I always had this internal fear of dying young. I am 47. To me that's pretty young. I know I'm notgoing anywhere anytime soon. But it still rattles me, when I think back at some pretty strange feelings I had from time to time, before I was diagnosed...... hang in there Gracie. Or call and demand them like I did. It's not fair making you wait. And yes Lynnwood, you have a communicational onc. That's a very good traight! Bedtime! Much love ~M~
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Chelle...that looks great! You've been a busy girl but it's worth it!
Sorry I didn't see your earlier post about bone strengthening med. Yes, I have Denosumab injections. From the very first one I noticed a difference after it. My bones were in very poor shape as I already had severe osteoporosis before the cancer got to them! I can't say I enjoy the injection into my tummy but it does make a big difference.
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Thanks to everyone for your encouragement. I just re-read my long post and I felt ashamed of it, to be honest. Just one long story of complaints and that's not like me at all, so when I just read your supportive posts I felt a bit better about it. Well, I've got it all out of my system now so I'll be getting on with life. My husband came and brought dinner with him last night and we chatted and I'm happy to say we're on good terms. I did have to stand up for myself a couple of times but he's accepted that this is what I want and both he and my son are willing to help me to do what I can to maximise the space.
Minnie...I'm sorry you have that worry about your husband.
The way I look at MBC is that we should all just live in the moment. We've all had some good times in the past. I know I have despite all my complaining just lately, I've been a very adventurous person and I've done some crazy things and had a lot of fun. I've done most of the things I wanted to do and now I'm living my dream of having a little place to myself. It was only a vague outline of a dream but suddenly I really wanted it because my MBC had robbed my son of too many years of his young life and I wanted him to have his life back to have some of the fun I had when I was his age. So, now that I've vented to you all about my problems, I'm ready to move on again and get back to being the real me. I refuse to look at MBC as a life sentence or to think about the future in bleak terms. It doesn't help to imagine things going wrong; in fact it makes it worse. I choose to believe I'll live many, many more years and that the Ibrance/Letrozole combination will eventually start working for me. We can all say to ourselves "Oh no, my life as I know it is over" and that may be true but our LIFE ITSELF isn't over and we can make this new, different life a good one by believing, really believing and knowing that we will be ok. Our cancer may progress, we know that, but I for one am not going to sit here thinking about it! A lot of you are a lot sicker than I am, although I am in a lot of pain but I'm grateful that my mets went to my bones and not my liver because my diagnosis came very late and it would have been too late. I believe that this is for a reason and I'm going to make the rest of my life a mission of educating people on how to treat people like us ~ what to say and not say, how to help us, the sorts of things they can do when they say "let me know if there's anything I can do" I'll take them up on it because I know they mean it and, if they don't, well, they shouldn't have said it!! So if they didn't mean it and they're given a list it's their bad luck hahaha!
One of my friends is coming on Tuesday to start helping me to make the tiny balcony a garden, as I might have mentioned and once it's done to my satisfaction I'll post some photos to show you.
Thanks for being so patient with me. I'm proud to call you friends.
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It’s a quarter to four!!! Grrr! There were so many things that I wanted to do today,now it looks like I will be sleeping all day,or worse,awake and in a fog. I can’t be at all productive with this fatigue! Seems like a have a couple of good days,then I just crash. I can sleep more than twelve hours at a time. Thank God my youngest can take care of everything. She’s sixteen next week❤️ Can’t imagine having small children with MBC! There are plenty of young mommies on the threads. Don’t know how they do it!
Gracie,we are sitting on the edge of our seats and praying for a good report!!! Always remember that you are never alone! At any time day or night, a bco sister is always thinking of and praying for you. I’m on the night shift.
Keetmom - Hope you and yours are all doing well!!
Much love to everyone!!!
Chelle.
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Thank you Chelle! I know you all are always available and I am truly thankful for this group of women and for Mel for putting us all together!
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Congrats Lynnwood!
Hoping for good results and a quick turnaround of your scans Gracie. I always feel my most confident after the results, either relieved or determined for the next step.
Last nights party was fun, I ate well, had a couple of delicious pomegranate ginger margaritas!
Pictured are my “work husband”, his wife and myself.
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Looks like a lot of fun Mae!!!!
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Lynnwood - Congratulations! Doing the Snoopy happy dance for you!! Chelle - I feel your pain! So many nights of little to no sleep! It's so frustrating! Especially since the only time I can nap, is if I'm I'll... That is just beyond wrong. Hope you start sleeping again soon.
Gracie - how do they get by with that? I get mine the day after scans, and this month I am getting them the same day! I have lots of ideas for you on Ibrance, but need to wait to tell you when I have more time. Hang in there. We are here for you!
Friends - Dh and I made a huge decision today, and I am feeling equal parts of elation and terror! After much discussion and soul searching, and with the sword of progression hanging over us, we have decided to move to NC to be close to our Ds, Til and Dgs's!
This is huge for us! We lost all our retirement in financial meltown, a few years ago, so Dh has to work. In the almost 30years we have been married, he had been self employed. So little hope of him getting a "job". We will figure something out there. The uncertainty makes me nervous. Also, I will have to give up my medical team here who are wonderful! But its not too bad, since now we will be close to Duke and UNC Cancer Center. MO said he would do research and help me find some one there. Also, my old MO will make recommendations and she is the one who sent me to current MO. Insurance, well a whole other can of worms! But, to be able to see Ds more often, and be more of a presence in grandsons lives, well worth it. Dh, says that I am not to worry, everything will work out! He seemed so relieved by the decision and I know he and Ds are really going to need each other, so that is a weight off my shoulders. This move will take time. We have to sell a piece of commercial property in order to purchase the land we found in NC. We have to finish all our projects here , so that we can put this place on the market, all the while Dh is earning a living. But, we are going to make it happen! So, like I said, equal parts terror and elation!
We are finally going to dig out our Christmas stuff and start decorating! Busy with that the rest of weekend! I'm sure that we will also be discussing more details on how to achieve our goal! Of one thing I am positive, when Dh and I set our minds to something, look out, we are relentlous! I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Hugs and prayers,
Claudia
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Leapfrog~I don't think feelings are wrong, if you feel them , then they must be real! I think what you're doing is awesome. It shows you're strength, maybe you didn't even know you even had. I am in awe of your independence, I find myself very tired all the time, and I am also alone a lot. I sleep constantly and I probably would if I actually could. I feel If I didn't have dogs, I might not even Be as good as I am now. I had to get up and feed them, let them out! During my worst chemotherapy. It helped me force myself to get up. I also love gardens I am looking forward to seeing your pics. I find that also therapeutic! Strong woman! We are all here for you, good emotions or bad! Hugs to you my friend! ~M~
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Claudia, How great that you and your DH have made such a big decision! It sounds like a wonderful adventure combined with an opportunity to spend more time with family. There are so many aspects of the decision, that it will provide you with many, many things to discuss on future posts. Yes, there will be challenges, but our lives are usually enriched as we face them. I can't wait to see your posts as you tell us about each step you take in the process. Of course you are nervous, but but sometimes we just have to take the leap and have faith that things will work out. If things ever feel overwhelming, come here and we will help you through the situation. In the meantime, enjoy decorating.
Mae, thanks for more great pictures. I think I gain two pounds every time I see the food in your posts. It always looks so good.
Gracie, I hope you receive good news about your scans. Is it possible to request the results from the place where you have your scans? Maybe that way you can read them before your next appointment.
Chelle, Your decorations look elegant and beautiful. Your house must be full of excitement about Christmas. This has always been my favorite time of year. I hope you sleep better tonight.
Micmel, How are you doing today? Have you done much of your holiday shopping? Will you be cooking Christmas dinner?
Minnie, it is good to see you here. It sounds like you share a very special love with your DH. I try to enjoy every day I have with my DH. Maybe we have many more years together, and maybe our days are numbered, but we have learned not to dwell on the future we cannot see. Btw, I do wish I could send you a few of my extra pounds!
Leapfrog, You are a strong woman, and you will make whatever decisions are best for you. Enjoy your garden.
Lynnwood, Are you still celebrating? How do you like retirement? I miss my paycheck, but not the stress of my job. I still see and talk to many people I worked with.
Lynne, I hope you are feeling better. Is your mother's birthday party this weekend? I can't wait to hear all about it. I hope she was surprised.
Hugs and prayers to everyone from, Lynne
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Chelle~I feel your pain my girl. That is hard to function at all. I just wouldn't be able to do anything. Today my DH is making the purée from real pumpkins,for pies and custard, he knows, I love them, I am tired just watching him. I feel badly because my middle name is exhaustion! I hope you're able to get some rest tonight. With hubby here I am always so happy, and his cooking makes me fat!!
Much love ladies ~M~
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