My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Daughter who lives outside Philly got 2 ft of snow😳.
Our forecast for Sunday nite is -19🥶. Winter makes my bones ache even more!
Be safe everyone.
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yup 22.5 inches where I live Philly burbs. So I know how she's feeling. It's a ton of snow
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Yes, I have. But also sometimes because I don’t feel like talking about cancer at the moment
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Rosie,
So true. I sometimes even say it to my MO when I don't want to go through a whole long thing with her, when I know that treatment is probably going to remain the same no matter what I say. I know that's bad, but sometimes it's just SOOOO tiring and exhausting to walk the cancer walk.
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Thanks Rosie. I saved the pic to post on my FB page. So true. My thoughts on it-- people do not understand MBC, or do not want to try to understand MBC, so I might as well say "I'm fine". What they want to hear anyway. Makes them feel better.
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Lol Mel - my brother set me a photo of his back deck that looked very similar to yours, so much so I did a double take. He lives in the Sierra foothills! Good luck you ladies on the East coast, that is a LOT of snow to move any time soon. Seems to happen roughly this time of year though, doesn't it?
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Rosie, I have definitely said I'm fine when I am not. Some of the time because I was not emotionally fine, but knew no one could help with how I was feeling. Some of the time to avoid being a burden to the family. I never complain on facebook either anymore because it has caused undue worry for my family. I just know my audience to tell when I am not fine.
We are not getting that much snow but it will be getting really cold in the coming weeks. Luckily have a lot of fleecy leggings. Still plan to walk as well.
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The snow comes up to our back deck stairs. 0 -
we know it’s a lot of snow when we lose the dogs! Take care everyone.
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I think cancer makes you a professional actress. The “I’m fine” statement used everyday in some way. It’s almost like we have to pretend that we are fine for them. What if we say no I’m Not fine. Not at alll..what would they do then? Then what? I know I say the same things over and over again. I could tape record it and just push play. “ I’m doing ok today, same as any other day”. What I really want to say is “I’ve been cursed with cancer and I hate every living second of having it”. They don’t want to be put on the spot not knowing what to say in return. So we. SticK to the “I’m fine “ story.
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Good morning
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Mae, love that snark!
So true about the "I'm fine." Concur with all comments.
That's a lot of snow, Mel. Stay safe & warm.
Waving hello to all.
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Yup Mel. "I'm fine".
Sometimes I may actually mean "I'm am still experiencing hot flashes, moaning and groaning when first getting up from sitting (the tin-man aches), having to drink prune juice due to the constipation." "Today is my MO appt/ scan day/ poked with needles for blood work, treatments, Port flush day," "But..... thank God I am still on first line therapy and scans are somewhat stable, so it could be worse." "Thus, I am fine."
I don't have the energy to say all that so I just say I am fine.
Plus, we do not want to make others uncomfortable. God forbid.
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Tangandchris- How did your MO appt go?
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Mel - right on!!! What I really want to say is "I've been cursed with cancer and I hate every living second of having it". I'm going to remember this statement.
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Candy, praying for your long med day.
Yes, I say "I'm fine" all the time. Sometimes to my immediate family I say "Feeling my normal" (I live with my husband, daughter, and granddaughter.) Yesterday I got my Covid vaccine and said "I'm fine" to the nurse because I didn't want to go into it and cause problems. How do we explain to the world that many of the Covid symptoms are the same as my cancer medicine side effects?
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Hi IntoLight. Good to see ya. Seems I have not read your posts in a while. Happy you got to get the Covid vaccine. Me too-- though you know that already if you read this Thread. Yes, the symptoms of Covid do mimic ours on the cancer meds. Thanks for the prayers, I always need them, but my "long med day"??? What I meant by that in my last post was our "normal" MO appts, scans, being poked and prodded--- normal for us MBC'ers, so we say we are "fine". Maybe I worded it confusing.
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I’ve just learned people don’t really want to hear it.
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My Ct scans came back stable with notation of lung nodule that was there before and some glass opacities in my lungs. Have another chest CT in 3 months.
My appt was less than the best. I knew I gained weight. Happens when you eat like an athlete but are not an athlete. I know I am fat. I told the nurse am working on it with more regular activity. She asked me how I am doing during lockdown and I mentioned my surveys and a game which paid 40.00 if I reached a certain level. I played it, was a slot game. I would never gamble normally but was just doing this game offer for extra money for groceries and such. Disability does not go far when you are not in affordable housing. When the resident MO came in, she was unhappy with my weight gain, unhappy with my iron. Apparently 1 number below low end of normal but I am not anemic. Wanted me to take an iron supplement. I told her no way due to the fact it comes with a lot of digestive side effects. My digestion is finally working the way it should, not willing to risk it. I did not like being shamed about the weight gain when I mentioned that I was measuring my portions so I knew how much I was eating now. If that was not enough, my main MO came in all worried that she thought I was gambling. I did not mention it to the doctors, I was chatting with the nurse. I did not realize it was going to be a federal case. I don't gamble with my money but she misunderstood but did not believe my explanation.
The lesson I learned today is not to tell people anything and just say I am fine unless there is a health issue. I was so angry that I cried on the way home being treated as a stupid person and feeling shamed about my weight even though I mentioned The plus side was the chemo part of the day went fine and enjoyed the nurses so that was a positive. The weather is also beautiful. The walk to and from the hospital was pleasant. I just hope nothing else comes up in the meantime.
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Mara, I am angry with you. We battle enough without being hassled about our weight. They don't want you to lose fast but also not gain anything. They need to spend a week in our shoes!
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Damn Mara - that is crappy. Sheesh. I find its way too easy for things to be misunderstood and, not only that, PERSIST to be misunderstood. I had complained initially at diagnosis about my hip hurting. It was referred pain from my back, resolved after rads, but it went into the notes as "complains of hip pain". I have no hip mets and it persisted until I switched MOs that every time I was asked about my hip pain. I gave up and said it was fine, no pain.
But the weight thing (and they should be thrilled that you know what the problem is and are taking steps to fix it) and the "gambling" thing, yeah that was uncalled for. Canada does have a fairly strong gambling awareness history, and I am sure its part of training to watch for instances of harm like that, but its not like you are talking about your trip down to the casino or winning at poker online etc. Its a shame that it was shared like that, and even worse that it made you so upset going home. Im sorry to read that.
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Mara,
Good news on your report. Sounds like all is stable, just like you suspected.
Bad news on the treatment meeting, esp. the weight issue. When we are in the middle of all of these treatments, sometimes only certain things taste good. Am I always eating a well balanced diet now? Nope. Sometimes the smell of some foods makes me feel nauseous. So I eat what I can tolerate. Do I always exercise enough? Not on your life. Again, it truly depends upon the day and how I'm feeling.
I'm so sorry that you went through this (and the "gambling" comment as well). Hope you calm down sooner rather than later, but like IntoLight, I'm angry with you too.
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Mara- Wow !!!! I am so sorry. I am angry right along with you. Who cares if you are a touch overweight. It shows your appetite is good. They should be thankful. All they had to say was monitor your portions, which you are going to do. And the "gambling", good grief, none of their business. Glad the scans showed stable though.
Our mantra: I am fine.
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Oh, mara, I'm so sorry you were shamed. We all (I think) feel bad enough about gaining weight and we certainly don't need someone to make us feel worse. And your "gaming" to earn some extra money is NOT a gambling addiction. Good grief! I'd cry all the way home, too. Hot, angry, "I'll never say anything to them again" tears.
I wish we could all surround you and give you a big hug - right after we marched into your doctor's office and gave them a royal chewing out!
Love and hugs to you!
Carol
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people are dicks Mara honey. I'm sorry sweetheart. I have a good sized amount of bum! I think it's what saved from a broken hip.. my doc says to me when I complain about my weight. “ can't help you" meaning he likes the weight. He calls me a healthy cancer patient. he's Japanese and extremely strict and serious. People are busy bodies. But I do agree with not saying shit to anyone. Judgemental Judie's.
Congrats on stable! Which is what we should be cheering about!!!!!! Screw those idiots. Let them deal with hormones and changes.and medicineStupid. Plain and simple. I'm sending you a hug. You deserve pampering!0 -
Ditto, ditto, DITTO EVERYTHING mel said!
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Mara, wow, the iron and gambling in this case are such minor, petty things for them to make an issue of. They need to mind their business about such little things.
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Mara, It’s almost like since your cancer is stable they’re looking for other things that are “wrong” with you. Ridiculous.
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Mara,
What a horrible experience today must have been but I am glad you are stable. This may be a difference between the US and Canadian health system, but after nearly every doctor visit or scan, I am sent a survey by my hospital to rate my experiences and I can also offer comments. Do you have that opportunity? I am guessing not. I like it because I think everyone who deals with patients is hyper aware that there words and actions may be critiqued and reported; as a result, they are pretty conscious about not being jerks or rude. For example, when I gained a little weight, my MO said, "I can see you have a healthy appetite."
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Mara - Some people are just lunk heads. Today was a victory for you with being stable! Don't let them try to steal defeat from the jaws of victory. You know that you have addressed your weight on your own and are looking at a sustainable plan that will work for you. I need to lose quite a bit of weight and all of this stuff we are on for MBC does make that tougher...not undoable but definitely tougher but we can do it!
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