My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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On that morning DH was getting ready for work and I was still in bed with our little child next to me. DH came over and said that something big and t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e had happened, and then something cryptic (to shield our little one), like "airplanes (hand motions) World Trade Center and the Pentagon". I said, "But the Pentagon is military...who would do this?" And we just stared at each other and tried to wrap our heads around it. The rest of the day I could only sneak some radio time here and there, and I remember that between reports they would play the saddest music, but I thought angry music would match my feelings better. The television had to wait until our child was in bed that night. Later that week I had to figure out how to explain what was going on to a very young but sensitive and perceptive child.
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My sister was at the Marriott World Trade Center waiting for a guy she was going to interview for a job. He called about 6:30am to tell her that he had missed his flight, and asked if they could meet somewhere else. She said she could take the train to Newark Int’l and they could meet in the FF lounge. She gathered her things, checked out, and was on the last train out of NYC when the first plane hit. After that, all transportation, including trains, was stopped. Of course we (her family) didn’t know this. We thought she was still there. Lots of phone calls went unanswered, as I’m sure you remember how impossible it was to try to reach anyone that day. Eventually, we got word that she was ok, but she lost all of her group that worked out of Tower 1 that day. Horrible. To this day, she cannot talk about it.
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booboo, damn, that’s a real up close and personal story. I’m sorry she went through that, I can’t imagine the trauma and survivors guilt. The why’s and what if’s must be really intense.
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my father was suppose to be on Boston's flight out to ca early that morning. He was running late waiting for a colleague and they missed the flight. They didn't go anywhere that day. He was stuck in Boston thank god they chose the across country flights because they would have more fuel.
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Oh Booboo, that must have been so awful to not know if she was ok or not. Many families must have experienced that, but you’re the first person I actually know (sort of 😊) who went through that.
My 4th grade students and I were just starting our morning that day at 9 am, and I had no idea anything had happened until about an hour later when one of our building aides came to my door with the news. We had instructions not to mention it to our students. Many parents were coming to pick up their children and since my classroom was right by the front door to the school, there was a “buzz” about why all the parents were coming. By lunch time there might have been half the class left, at most. After lunch and recess the word about what happened was out, so we had a very basic discussion about what the kids had heard and some of what I could gather from watching tv at lunchtime. We really preferred that the parents decide how much to tell their children but I guess there was no containing this event until they got home. It was a tough day and rest of the week for everyone.
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Booboo-What a chilling story! I'm so glad your sister wasn't there but it must have been awful for her to lose her co-workers.
I was one of the last people to know what had happened. In 2001, I worked part-time in a financial job and part-time as a yoga teacher. Tuesday was a yoga day so I spent the morning practicing and didn't check my computer. I was supposed to have a 2 pm meeting with a new yoga studio. I had thought that the owners were a bit flaky so I wasn't all that surprised when they canceled the meeting because they had to pick up their wives from work. I thought it was strange but chalked it up to their personalities. Then, hearing more of the panic in their voices, I asked what was going on? They told me so I immediately went on the computer. I blame that day for now my obsessive checking of the news/emails etc. I didn't used to be like that. I just stayed home and washed windows. It was eerily quiet. I live under a flight pattern and didn't notice the sounds of the planes until they were gone.
There was a lovely woman who worked in the WTC that I used to interact with for my job. She died that day-she was probably my age or just a little older. Yesterday I went to a Memorial Service but of course, in Chicago, it turned out to be more about politics than honoring those who lost their lives. I found myself washing a few windows in the afternoon.
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My oldest daughter who was 22 at the time, called me early, before 6:00 am (Pacific time), panicked, telling me to get up and go check the news.
My youngest, who was in kindergarten at the time, was still sleeping so I went downstairs and turned on the news. We stayed on the phone watching as the second plane hit. I told her to tell work she wasn't coming in and to come home. I kept Rachel home from kindergarten that day and let her sleep in. When she finally got up, I explained that a really bad thing had happened, but we weren't in any danger.
My son and his wife had just had my grandson on September 4th. They were at home in Palmdale, but drove down to stay at her grandmother's house so they could be near family.
My husband was in Vegas, working on some reality show pilot with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. The show got canceled that afternoon, but there were no flights out and no rental cars. Everything was completely shut down. They had all of their sound and camera equipment and couldn't get out of Vegas.
Finally on the 13th, one of the crew members got a friend to drive out in his big cargo van and bring them home. Four guys, about a ton of equipment in a cargo van with no seats and no insulation. They didn't care. Just wanted to come home.
It was such a scary time. I hate reliving it because I felt so vulnerable, living so near a big city and not knowing if we were going to be targeted next. It was a couple of weeks before I could sleep easy.
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thank you for sharing your stories. As a Canadian police officer I Was sleeping after night shift when the attacks occurred. I got a call from work and was advised to be ready to go to work if need be. I was like I’ve had an hour and a half sleep. Of course I couldn’t understand what I was seeing on the tv. It was horrible. I don’t remember now whether I was between shifts or at the end of my night stretch but I know I didn’t get called back that day. I’ll never forget.
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Not doing a lot myself today, some indoor walking on the spot. Turned up the speed of my regular songs by 10% to get my basic 10000 steps done quicker. The faster pace and shorter duration lets me get stuff done in between life laundry, household stuff and surveys. Not sure if going out, fridge is still full of stuff. I may hit up the dollarama or dollartree stores for snacks that I grind up and add to my bean meals. We will see how the time goes. Most like DB will contact me tonight or tomorrow and offer a drive and shopping. This is how we visit, take a drive across the city, he knows I like that and then will go to whatever store I request which is also nice. Mostly grocery shopping, sometimes more.
Hope everyone is doing better, in those pockets for those having scans or just plain having a tough time in life which I know are more than a few. Hugs to anyone who needs them.
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Mara ~ I’m so glad you have your brother. How nice. Be safe on any walk. I just had cereal for breakfast. Trying to get more calcium.
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Lol Micmel! I believe I had a 2nd grade report card that said something like “talks when others are speak but will not speak when called on”. My avoidance of being put in the spot and a slightly defiant streak remains to this day.
See some of you on the MBC zoom soon 🙂
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morning everyone
I did another metastatic breast cancer conference thing this morning on Zoom. It was a GRASP session - it's where you get scientists &/or clinicians together with patient advocates in a small group to talk about a poster presentation on research. It was cool. I was in one about a new trial for a CDK4/6 inhibitor but for triple negative. (it's called PRESERVE 2). We also talked about a very new and prelminary imaging study where they were trying to use a different MRI marker than the traditional contrast to identify brain mets at a much earlier stage than we currently are able to see them...
I'm all conferenced out lol. I'm signed up for SABS in Dec but that's a nice long way away.
My CT scan got moved up from the 22nd to this afternoon - not because of any clinical urgency but something went weird with the scheduling (or possibly the fact that I filed an official complaint made something move lol). I haven't had time to have scanxiety - I just found out on Friday & it wasn't confirmed till Saturda - but will take people along in my pockets
And I'll put on clean pants too which don't have dog treats all over every pocket! Guys, I had so much dog fun yesterday - My niece adopted a dog a while ago and wanted my input on a few minor behavior issues so she came over & we had a 2hr session - outdoors, distanced & masked - and I taught her some techniques. Olive and her dog got along really well and got to play too so it was fun because honestly, dog stuff makes me so happy. After she left dh was asking me about what our niece was up to, and where had she moved again, and was it because of work etc etc because we only got part of the details from BIL, but I was like...."um, I'm sorry I spent 2 hours solid talking about dogs. I literally didn't ask her anything else except dog stuff" lol So yeah, I'm the very weird aunt I guess ...
hugs everyone
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Moth,
You sound like an awesome aunt to me! I am very close to my niece who is also a dog lover, but she’s the one who teaches me things….sometimes it’s those bonding moments that our younger relatives need instead of lots of questions. You get an A++ for spending time with her, just hanging out, and being you.
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Moth, sounds like a great time with your niece and the dog.
Mel, I only do the faster walking indoors on the spot. I max out on the treadmill at 2.5 mph and hand on to the arms due to the slight balance issues I have. I think it is due to the treadmill moving while my body is not going forward, no balance issues like that outdoors or walking on the spot. Outdoor is done at my normal, steady pace to avoid gaps in the sidewalk.
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Ok, so here is a sticky wicket situation....
I started on Lynparza. A potential side effect is low red counts that could require a blood transfusion. That may not be a problem for me, but... who knows yet. I am going to a MO visit next Monday for my Xgeva, see the doc, and do labs. In case I would need a transfusion, I messaged MO nurse today to ask if I should have someone come with me (I usually go alone--2 hour drive). She said that up to me. I asked about how this would work in the future (not just next Monday). I get my monthly labs done locally. If one of those labs would show the need for a transfusion (anytime in the future) would I have to drive the 2 hours to come into the clinic to get the transfusion or could I get it locally? She said I would need to come in.
How do you that travel to your cancer clinic handle this? Need of blood transfusion or platelets or something like that? Do you travel to your cancer center to have it done, or get it closer to where you live?
I have read on here that some travel 5-6 hours to see their MO.
I will cross post to other Threads.
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Moth, in your pocket for scans 🙂
Candy, I haven’t needed a transfusion but I live about an hour from the main hospital in downtown Houston, where I go for scans and to see my MO. I go to a closer satellite location for my Xgeva, Herceptin and labs. When I do need a driver, DH drops me off and goes out for lunch or home, it’s it’s gonna be a long day.
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Hey, Mae,
Hoping you guys are going to be ok through this next crazy hurricane that is supposed to hit yourarea. Nicholas could be a non-issue which is what I’m hoping for. Stay safe, sister.
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Moth, pocket duty for your scans. I'll hang around as you wait for results if I missed the scans. 🤞
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booboo, yeah, looks like it’ll travel right over our house (I live in NW Houston by the “n” in the screenshot) but it’s supposed to be a rainmaker mostly and we’ve got great drainage in our area. We are prepared if the power goes out and don’t need to leave the house for at least a week, so it all looks good.
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oh my another storm!!! Please everyone be safe.
My oncologist is 35 mins away . My bloodwork is done 2 miles from my house at the extension hospital. Even when they move to the new one they are building it willl be 15 mins. My scan also 2 mins from my house. I feel very lucky about that. I go home and nap. It’s reassuring in an odd way.
I just had dinner with my son. Just he and I. I love him so much. He’s so handsome so much older than my Juicy juice drinker. In his sippy cup. A man. We talked for hours. It was pleasant I want more nights like that. Also with my daughter. They are my inner most special people inside my soul. Ones I’d give my life for. Being a mother is the hardest but one of the most beautiful things someone can be. Albeit some days I sometimes wish I didn’t. They are the reason I fight. I love them dearly.
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Micmel,
I am so glad you connected with your son. All of a sudden, they grow up even though they are not completely grown up. But, you see a man - a lovely man who will become the most wonderful man you might ever have known. I wish you many more years with this beautiful man and his lovely sister.
They are the ones that makes living worthwhile.
Be well,
Jane
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Candy - I live about 30 minutes from a regional hospital that my MO has an outreach clinic in. I get my XGEVA, Faslodex and scans as well as see my MO at that location. I know they can do transfusions at the regional hospital because I had both of my knees replaced at the same time back in 2015 and I had to get a transfusion. You might be able to get a cancer support group to give you a ride if you think you are going to need a driver.
Mae - Batten down the hatches!
Mel - Awesome you got some quality time with your son.
Mara - How do you control the speed of your workout music?
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JHL~your post brought me to tears. Thank you.
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Candy, I've had 2 blood transfusions so far and have been able to drive myself home both times, they were done at the same clinic I get my chemo.
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Mel - Isn’t it wonderful when we realize our children have grown up to be good people? HUGS!
My MO and any treatments are all 90 minutes away. I get some blood work done at our local hospital but they don’t share the same electronic medical records so orders need to get faxed and they always seem to get lost in cyberspace.
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Well, Hurricane Nicholas was nothing really, which is good. I heard some high winds last night but it was comparable to winds at the cabin (located atop a ridge line). I slept hard to the sound and wind and rain. Time for coffee.
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So glad to hear that, Mae.
And I’m so glad you had quality time with your son, Mel. It’s so important.
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Sounds like most are pretty close to their cancer center where they would get treatments. And, I think, the biggest issue is having a DH or someone to drive and not have to be alone. That is my situation. I am a 2 hour drive from my cancer center AND I do it alone. If I would transfer care back to my local rural onc then it would be a 5-10 minute drive, in the same small town. I could even get a taxi cab if I needed. Or ask my neighbor to drive me and come pick me back up. But,.... local rural onc doesn't offer Y90 or clinical trials. The option are limited here. Even scans seem out of date here compared to my large cancer center. We do not have "tumor boards" here either. Just 1 doc. The rad who reads the scans is the rad that reads ALL scans-- cancer, or broken bones, or anything. Not trained eye for cancer subtleties.
Sigh....
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