My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Today will likely be an indoor day, got two separate amazon deliveries, a proper clothing rack to dry clothes and some enzyme cleaner and then more baking soda as well for laundry and litterbox purposes.
I've decided to hold off repairing my dryer, it still tumbles on no heat and if I pre dry stuff on the heated rack and give a quick once over with my steamer, the towels are coming out soft which is all I want from my dryer. If I cannot stand it, I will repair the tumble dryer. I like the extra work because as anyone who knows me here is aware, laundry is one of my favourite things to do. Helps that I am single and don't really have a ton of laundry though.
Pocket duty if there is any needed besides HomeMom and her husband and hope everyone is doing OK, thinking of Candy as well today.
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Thanks Mara for thinking of me. I am just hanging in there. Still some nausea, and the fatigue, with the Lynparza pills. I see my MO on Monday for labs, Xgeva, and check in. Quiet here. Not much this weekend. Yesterday I went to bank, dropped by Library, went to Dollar store for a couple of things. By the time I got home I was exhausted. Good grief. I am still pretty much isolating with the Covid cases. Southern Illinois has no ICU beds available they reported on the news. So still no church services for me, no going out with friends, etc. Not that I feel like doing anything much, but still do not feel safe with so much Covid floating around.
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Here is some perspective--- I was just thinking. Ok I may be bored, or lonely, but... my sister was scared, in pain, alone in the nursing home before she died. I am in my house which I love. Yes I feel icky, but I can still move about in my house. With my cat. A good book to read. Get on here and "talk" with you guys. Or surf the Internet. Watch TV. Call a friend on the phone. I am alive. I hurt, but not in the pain my sister was in. I am blessed.
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mara51506 thank you for that. His back surgery was 2 years ago and it was mostly successful. They say the heart valve surgery is 99% successful. You never know though, so I'm staying positive. Thank you for your well wishes, all the best for you too!
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Candy, thinking of you today. Sometimes grief is harder later on for awhile. Yes, we may be down and isolated, but we are still here.
Ladies, Oh how I love your DH chat! Right now my DH is at the gym (he turns 70 next month) and my DD is running the beach, so I am home alone sitting... It is my alone time for a few hours each morning. My DH decided to retire one year after I did to stay home and take care of me whether I need it or not. I join you in saying I was hoping for a little longer. We have been married 49 years so we really are in it for the long haul!!! We have come to an easy routine and agreement but I am thankful for my mornings. He insists on taking me to every appointment, and since Covid, sits out in the car and waits for me. Sometimes for two hours or more. He is a trouper and knows I wouldn't mind driving myself, but it is how he supports me and makes him feel better. Fortunately my DD is not working yet (she is a new RN) so she is willing to take me out for quick shopping trips, etc. I can still drive, but it is what he wants.
t is cool in SD today but I may venture out for a short walk. Otherwise, I just stay in.
Thinkinf of you all today. Chris
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Candy, I sometimes find myself bored in my house as well, more limited without a car as well but that is OK. I spent today doing laundry and watching TV while waiting for my delivery. Watched Poltergeist for a lark and realize that movie is still scary, even today. Enjoyed myself.
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Mara, speaking of scary movies, I applied to an opportunity to be picked to watch 13 scary Stephen king movies. It sounds like a ton of fun and I love horror. If chosen, I get a blanket, popcorn, candy, a Fitbit to track heart rate and sleep patterns and $1,300! I’d do it for the snacks alone, lol. Wish me luck 😁
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love Stephen king !!! Good luck
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Mae, if I did that, they would be digging my grave earlier than I expected. I am the one who had to walk out of the movie Towering Inferno and have never been able to watch a horror movie or anything with blood in it. I am such a chicken shit. Hahaha. If my husband has anything like that on the TV, I promptly leave the room. Good luck on getting picked.
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Mae, I hope you get picked, that sounds awesome. I love scary stories by Stephen King. I am actually watching Chapelwaite which is based on Jerusalem's Lot, the short story that takes place before Salem's Lot (my favourite book). That really sounds like fun. I also finished Mr Mercedes season 1 to 3 on Amazon Prime about a week ago. I also like the American Horror Story season 10 and the American Horror Stories as well. Pretty cool to have both.
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Just checking in as we travelled to the US on Tuesday and realised on Wednesday morning that Other Half forgot to pack my laptop cord so inbetween family things and shopping and running about I have a chance to check on here quick but on the phone only.
The jet lag wiped me out pretty good on the second day but I seem to have made a full recovery today and feel much better. Have maybe had a bit more than normal to drink (a wine today, a sip of beer or hard liquor rather than a whole glass) but trying to balance it out with a lot of water. At least its my off week!
We are off to the Ryder Cup two days next week but they already have the village all tricked out with flags and it's all pretty cool. Hoping to find a lap pool to get some swimming in as well!
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KBL, I'm with you! haha I don't think I've watched a entire Stephen King movie, but have seen bits and pieces of a few of them (like 2 minutes of "The Shining", and a minute or two of "Christine" - assuming those were Stephen King movies).
Hallmark movies are more my cup of tea, unless there is a snarky boyfriend or girlfriend in there. Space Mountain at Disney Land? Nope - put me on "It's a Small World" every time.
As a total contradiction, I do love the movie "Jaws" and can recite lines from it. Weird, I know. I still like you, though, Mae, (she said with a grin) even if you like horror movies. I hope you get chosen.
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I prefer reading Stephen King books rather than watching his movies. He’s an exceptional writer of scary!
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Trivia: Did you know that Peter Benchley, who wrote the book "Jaws" was actually in the first movie? As I recall, he played a cameo part as a reporter. I wonder if Steven King played any parts in his movies.
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So I must be crazy. Definitely in the minority.
I mentioned the other day in my post about a church friend that invited me out with her friends-- restaurant, maybe an orchard for apples. Well I talked to her on the phone today. She mentioned again that I was always welcome on one of her day jaunts with "the girls". She said she has been doing various things, mainly going to restaurants that she has not been to before. She went yesterday to Indiana-- we are in Illinois. Just up and called another lady and they drove there and ate in a good restaurant.
Now, no she does not have cancer. She is pretty healthy. She is recently widowed and is retired so she has been staying busy to keep her mind active. I, on the other hand, have low counts from the cancer treatment so I have to be more careful, and I just changed treatments and feeling kind of icky-- nausea and fatigue. So I shouldn't compare us. But...
What I am getting at is, doesn't people worry about Covid?! The lower 1/3 of Illinois -- where I am-- has 0 ICU beds. The hospitals are overrun. We are in a Pandemic. A public health crisis. Yes, mainly the unvaccinated (this lady is vaccinated), but the vaccinated can get sick too. I ask her if she worried about sickness. She said "No, not really. I do not think about it". REALLY?!
And I see on the news/sports about Busch Stadium in St. Louis--- across the State line from me-- being full of fans for a ball game. REALLY?!
Am I just a wuss? I stay at home. I isolate.
Weird world we live in anymore.
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Candy, you are not a wuss, you are cautious and rightly so. I think a lot of vaccinated people have let their guard down, I get it, we all want our lives back but I take minimal risks, as an unvaccinated and vulnerable person, I really have no choice.
Today I’m watching a ska festival virtually and the bands look like bunch of random dads, crap, I’m old. These are bands I saw nearly every weekend in the 90’s and I was about 20 at the time, it’s a bizarre feeling.
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Candy,
I don't think that you are crazy or a wuss. Different people can review the available facts and data and come to different conclusions about what behavior is reasonable. I too have low counts but have never isolated myself. I wear masks in public spaces indoors and still prefer to keep at a distance from people. I think that outdoor activities are quite safe, particularly if social distance is maintained. I eat in restaurants-I much prefer to eat outdoors but have eaten some indoor meals and felt comfortable with the safety protocols. I have gone to outdoor concerts and will attend an indoor performance this week where everyone is required to either be vaccinated or present a negative covid test. I also have increased my Vitamin D supplementation to keep my levels high since low Vitamin D levels seem to be associated with a higher risk of contracting Covid.
I am being careful in my way. You are being careful in yours. Both of us review the available data and make choices accordingly. One thing we have learned from this pandemic is that social isolation also has bad effects on people's mental health. For me, being triple vaccinated at this point, I choose to take some very small risks so I can maintain an active social life and have fun while I am still physically able to leave my home. But I can totally understand your different approach. Each of us needs to set our own boundaries and live our lives as fully as we can within these constraints.
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Chicagoan I know the effects of all of this isolation
. I was thinking how much longer am I going to live with Stage IV? Am I going to stay inside for the next 2-5 years (or however long this pandemic lasts) or live that long for that matter. Florida has never officially closed. People want to confront you for wearing a mask etc. I prayed a lot about it and decided that I am going to see my children/grandchildren. DH and I have three vaccines. Slowly I am venturing out. So far I ate out! Everyone was supposed to be vaccinated at the restaurant but of course, everyone may not be honest. I ate outside last week with a friend who is vaccinated. I want to plan a trip in November before the holidays. I will participate in outdoor activities and try to stay distant and wear my mask. I had stopped going to grocery shop etc. but now I did go and actually buy my own groceries. I feel like every doctor appt. CVS run etc. I'm taking a chance. It's just the way things are right now. Everyone has to figure out what precautions they are going to take. My medication keeps me tired, achy and in pain so for the majority of the time I'm inside anyway. Stay safe everyone. Tanya
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I hear you Tanya. With our Stage 4, we may well be running out of time and not have the 2-5 years to wait things out. Every summer, I wonder if it is my last. Glad you will be able to see your children and grandchildren. I know what you mean about feeling tired, achy and in pain but getting out helps me mentally.
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candy: you are not a wuss. I think all of us us Stage IV feel like we have had a HUGE chunk of our time here totally screwed up. Bucket list? Yeah. Maybe. Forget that trip to ___________( fill in the blank) just seeing close friends and relatives has become a challenge. My favourite eatery --- still take out only. I am grateful that even before my DX I was pretty much an introvert and I enjoyed my retirement. But I would really really really like be to able to have the choice of being part of society or staying at home. I miss the local music and community festivals. Will I be here when Festival de Bois returns with the best poutine ever and great Francophone music? Will I be here for the Burnaby Blues and Roots Festival with one of the best settings anywhere for music (Deer Lake). At least I can now see one of my best pals who is vaccinated, coming over for dinner and playing ukulele with my DH. Some parts of my life are staggering back --- but I want all of us to have our lives back - even with the limitations of our DX's
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it deadly is crazy, I went into a bank Friday and not one person had a mask on but me. I always have one on. I am also vaccinated. It’s crazy. Out there. I don’t really go anywhere and can relate to the cvs and medical run. I spend all of my time at home. I don’t like to take a chance. People are nuts I think sometimes anyway. Candy you’re no wuss
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My husband said he went into a Taco Bell last week on his way over the mountains from San Diego to the desert. He stopped in a town called Temecula. He usually stops at Del Taco because he can drive through and he likes their burritos (and their fish tacos are pretty good, too). Anyway, since Del Taco was closed for some reason, he stopped at Taco Bell. I'm not sure why he went inside, but he said he was the only one wearing a mask and that he was getting the stink-eye from those NOT wearing masks. Weird and crazy, if you ask me.
Mel, that's nuts that people in the bank weren't wearing masks. I don't get it.
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I got the stink eye also. I didn't care. Are they going to look after me if I get sick because they are too selfish to care about others by not. Wearing a mask. If you are not going to get vaccinated I believe you should have to wear one. People are dying from this. People like us who have pre existing conditions. One place it's this rule, the next place it's that rule. I'm not taking any chances. I would like the option for outlast the 2/5 years to wait it out. It's already the craziest thing I've seen since I've been alive. (911-tied for first) everything is pretty messed up. I don't see how it's going to get better. That's why I tell my kids. Think long and hard before having kids. We don't know what kind of world they will be dealing with , if it keeps going this way. It's sad.
We had a shitty day today. Yesterday was great we bought a new car. A new Ford Fusion. Beautiful blue color nice leather inside seats. Tinted black windows. Gorgeous. Today my DH rear ended someone. We haven’t owned it a day. I feel so bad for him. He’s so upset. But. That’s what insurance is for. But it’s just aggravating!!!! Grrr
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I see about 60% of people in my area wearing masks including nearly all employees at the grocery store, restaurants, even the car wash. Surprising, considering the reputation of Texas on national news and it’s so common where I’ve been that no one has ever looked at me funny or said a word about it. I assume many of those not wearing a mask are vaccinated but I certainly don’t count on it for my own safety.
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Candy, no you are not a wuss. I have had two vaccine shots, not heard about a booster here in Canada as of yet. Even with a booster, I am not too anxious to push my own luck either knowing if I wound up in hospital, I would be alone. I will still mask in public places indoors going forward, should ward off any flu besides the covid. Covid in some form or another is likely sticking around and we will likely need boosters every 6 months to a year for a good while.
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Candy - it’s called self preservation. And that’s what you are doing. Covid is nothing to joke about. Especially since it’s a new virus in the world, is morphing, and studies keep bringing us new findings. I think this will keep happening (sigh🙄).
Mel - oh man, what a stinky thing to happen. So sorry for the hubs. But you’re right, that’s why we have insurance. BTW, was it hard to actually get the car you wanted. Keep hearing horror stories about the chip shortage and no cars to buy.
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Thanks guys for the support about all this. I will just have to weigh the risks/ rewards about activities in the future. But, for me, it better be pretty important to me to risk getting sick--- Covid or otherwise (cold/flu season coming). Yes every jaunt to the doctor, bank, store, etc is a risk anymore. I just do not see going on a day trip with friends right now. What would I gain? Would I really enjoy myself having to wear a mask the whole time-- including in the car (close quarters with the other ladies). I think I would be too on edge to truly enjoy the trip. My friend enjoys it, but I ask her if she worried about Covid and she said No. So I don't think it enters her mind and so she is not on edge the whole trip like I would be. Maybe an outdoor event. But meet somewhere-- so I can drive alone. And then be outside and spaced out. This is so stupid.
I think another factor is the large amount of cases in our area. No ICU beds for miles. Our local hospital full. Hear of so many that I know that are getting sick. Heard of a guy in my church that just died of Covid. Our area is full of it right now.
Time to batten down the hatches and not time for trips and socializing. Just my opinion.
Oh, and I am definitely in an area of no masks.
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Mel-So awful about your new car. Your DH must be so upset. At least no one got hurt.
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I think everyone has to make a lot of considerations as part of their overall risk calculation -- own preferences, treatment stage, area locations and situation, activities planned, etc. Some people have a greater range of risks they are willing to take than others or have other factors that change the calculus. Its definitely a lot to consider!
Is there a way to maybe propose an outing to this lady that is within your current risk parameters - maybe more local and outdoors where everyone can arrive in their own car and still socialize but outdoors? Or you choose to go to something maybe a little further out but in your own car? Just say something like "thank you for thinking about including me, but right now I need to stay a bit closer to home. How about meeting up at X to do Y?"
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