My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,739

    Shit Mara! How can they just evict you? I understand if someone new takes over and wants to raise rent but to just ask you to leave, that sounds crazy, I hope you can fight it.

    Thanks for today’s pocket duty. My brain MRI was good. The 3 spots to be treated on Friday have not increased in size, all still tiny and nothing new was found. I also logged over 2 miles just walking to my appointments in multiple buildings of the large center. Resting for the remainder of the day and DH doing the cooking.

  • Kikomoon
    Kikomoon Member Posts: 358

    Mara,

    Fuck is right! When is your lease up? Surely they have to at least honor that. Rent and housing costs are going up absolutely everywhere and even if employed, salaries are not increasing to match. Greed is what’s happening and I’m afraid where this is all headed. Definitely reach out to your brother on this, it’s not right! But whatever happens, it will be ok, there will be a solution. Greedy mfs

  • Rosie24
    Rosie24 Member Posts: 1,026

    Mara, Terrible development 😡. I’m no legal expert, but I would think your lease must be honored too, even for rent. That may be wishful thinking on my part. I hope your DB can help you on this.

    Mae, Awesome news on the brain mri!

    I had my second yearly mammogram (after my 2019 lumpectomy) yesterday. I didn’t add to the pocket duty list because it seemed minor compared to all of our usual tests and treatments. So lucky me, while waiting to see the NP to go over the report, my name was called and a tech said I needed an ultrasound to get a better look at a spot that was seen. 😳, youall know that feeling. It turned out ok, I think. Radiologist called it “likely benign, Birads 3, but now I have a 6 month recheck instead of 1 year. NP told me not to worry, she thinks it’s nothing, so I’ll try not to.

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Mara- what fucking news. I'm not a legal expert either but I'm pretty sure if you have a lease that has to be honored. When is your lease up? I know that rent has skyrocketed everywhere and pickings are slim. It's just not right!

    Mae - happy news for sure!

    Rosie- anytime someone tells you they need a further ultrasound that's a terrible feeling but doing a 6 month review instead of a year means they will keep on top of it

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    The trouble is I do not have a copy of the lease and the resident portal we used has been disabled. They guy was offering 3500 to move by Jan 31st. My brother thinks there is no lease for me that it goes month to month but I think they need to still follow a process to get people out. I don't have anywhere to stay and asking me to look over the holidays is low. Our building did not even notify us that they were selling. I will have to talk to my brother tonight and see what he says. Who knows, not ready to be homeless and rents have gone up a bunch as well. I am screwed anyway you slice it, that is for sure.

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293

    oh no Mara, building owner transfer can be such bad news. Btw, I think ontario is 60 days notice (from this site. http://www.ontariotenants.ca/law/act05.phtml#RTA46 ) but I think it differs if you're leasing or month to month.

    'renovictions' are a huge issue here. Owners can evict tenants for reno & then when they relist the apartments the prices are way up.

    There's another site about renovictions rights https://renovictionsto.com/know-your-rights It's more about Toronto but the rights are province wide so it might be good info to have.

    I hope you sort it all out quickly so you don't have this worry.


    mae, excellent news on the scan

    Rosie, ugh, I'm sure they're just being cautious. I guess the positive way to look at it is that you're getting top notch care & vigilance

  • Kikomoon
    Kikomoon Member Posts: 358

    Mae- great news on the brain MRI! Now if we can just get Friday’s event over with. In your pocket for that!

  • chicagoan
    chicagoan Member Posts: 1,065

    Mara-What awful news. It must be quite a shock. I was wondering if Canada has subsidized housing like we have in the US? Here it can take quite a while to move up lists but if something like that exists where you live, you might want to get on a waiting list for the future. Here people who are disabled, seniors or low income can get housing that costs no more than 1/3 of their income. Hoping that you and your brother can come up with a good short-term solution but I am sorry you have to go through this.

    Mae-Happy to hear about your MRI results.

  • karenfizedbo15
    karenfizedbo15 Member Posts: 719

    Wow… some really awful stuff going on. Mae sounds like stable for you after a pretty terrible wait and scan?
    Mara…. Eviction!!! WTF. That is just not on, what about equality and fairness? You’ve got your boxing gloves on and ready to trash them it looks like. Otherwise, you need to find somewhere temp so you can form a plan. Not easy at all!

    Mel hope you have those mouth sores under some control now?

    At this end after great stable news, my friend of many years who I had lunch within Monday ( first time out in a long time) has tested positive for COVID. I took a lat flow, which was neg and then booked a PCR test today. Results hopefully tomorrow. I’ve had 3 full AstraZeneca jabs and may even have to have 4 apparently, so hoping they will help. My friend is just mortified - if my PCP is positive I need to islolate for 10 days….which means cancelling a long waited for weekend away and also a catch up with another cancer friend who is about to have major surgery? Not a happy bunny, but better safe than sorry I suppose.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    We do and I am applying for subsidized housing but the wait list goes for years. I am going to call the cancer clinic and ask if their social worker can somehow help me get on the waiting list. I am also stuck on a part that is asking for coapplicant info and I am applying for myself. Stuck in more way than one. New property manager is coming back on Friday and am unsure what to do. I won't have a new place on Jan 31. I am screwed. I can't do this and cancer too, I just cannot handle this at all.

  • Kikomoon
    Kikomoon Member Posts: 358

    Mara, can they give you more time? That seems ridiculous to just present you with this and expect something from you by Friday. Can you maybe explain your situation for an extension? Hopefully they are human beings and not just shit bags.

    Karen- hoping your test is negative

  • candy-678
    candy-678 Member Posts: 4,176

    Mae- Congrats on the stable MRI. Thoughts to you for the Gamma Knife coming later this week.

    Rosie- Well hoping that all is good in 6 months. I just got my yearly mammo reminder in the mail. Do I do it? I think last year my MO said no need, but my PCP wanted me to do it. I guess I need to see if I need to do it this year again. Just do not want to do more testing, you all understand that.

    Mara- OH MY !!!! I remember you mentioning that your brother was maybe moving to another city. Maybe this is leading you in that direction. Is that still a possibility? Relocating with his help? You can still be independent, but yet be near him.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    I already broached the subject of getting a duplex with a separate place for me. I said I could pay 900 a month if they wanted. I dont know if they would go for it. I just don't think I can swing any of these rents in london. They start about 300 per month more than mine, I pay 845 now for rent. No utilities. Only other fixed bills are internet and mobile phone. That eats up 90 per cent of my disability already. Yes I do surveys to stretch things and have a bit of money put away but not enough to move anywhere. I just cannot do it. If I run out of my own money, forget it. I hate them and I hate life, I am so done with this cancer and done with everything. Nothing else to say but that, I am officially done. I will start by calling my cancer clinic and seeing about getting a social worker tomorrow, I need someone who can help me apply for housing. Otherwise, it will be the street for me. Period, end of story. If I cannot secure housing, why am I continuing this farce of my cancer. I am so sick and tired and depressed 24/7 and this latest kick in the butt is too much. I need to check out mentally for a bit.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,739

    Candy, I still have gamma knife on Friday. This was the pre-gamma MRI, which is done for planning purposes. If I had a couple more, they’d zap those too, fortunately I did not.

  • kittykat9876
    kittykat9876 Member Posts: 420

    Mara, that really sucks for sure, but I have faith in you, you have done this on your own for 5 yrs now, I'm also doing this on my own and I'm in awe of how well you manage. With the coapplicant information, that is for if you have a partner or husband or wife, you normally just leave that part blank. I know that panicky feeling though, the last place I was renting, the owners wanted to move back in and I had to find a new place within a month as I was also on a month to month agreement. It's really bad form though for the last owners or property manager not to give the tenants enough notice in advance, I sincerely hope you can find a new apartment.

    Mae I'm glad you had good results for your mri and i hope that your procedure goes well on Friday. I see my oncologist today to get the results of my petscan and to find out where we go from here, I'm feeling really well now and it wasn't the navelbine that caused the pneumonitis so hopefully I'll be able to restart treatment soon.

    Karen, I hope you're test is negative, I feel blessed to live in a part of the world that has zero covid and we go about our everyday lives the same as before the pandemic.

    Take care everyone, you're all in my thoughts, I'm glad I found you all as I navigate this shitfight that's mbc.

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Mara - DO NOT GIVE UP! This whole thing is shitty for sure. I don't think you should be alone right now. If your brother lives in London ask him if you can stay there for a couple of nights. Hell I'd have you out here with me if you would come! Lots of room at no charge!

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    In my case, they just want us out to renovate and charge more, nobody else moving in.

    Ok, some updates. Chris and Kelly are coming over tomorrow night to help me strategize. Kelly will be there when the new guy comes back.

    I plan to tell them I will NOT leave. They need to get me evicted, I will not agree to leave. I plan to tell him that.

    The new company is a corporation, no real phone, nothing on paper stating how much rent is due, just an email to e transfer money too. I plan to make sure they provide documentation and receipts. Contact info must also be included beyond a phone number.

    The notice we got was not on letter head and said nothing about moving out. It was a torn up piece of paper just saying company number and property manager email, no phone number to contact them. It is shady as hell and I will not just play along.

    In the meantime, I am going to call the cancer clinic to hopefully get a social worker or referral to help me fill out emergency housing forms. I cannot do it myself and really need help and housing fast.

    I did also tell my brother on no uncertain terms can I afford a place more expensive than my current rent, was not dramatic and crying, just being blunt.

    My only task besides calling the cancer clinic for help is to stop crying and having panic attacks, that is not helping me. I need to try to go one step at a time. Start with the cancer clinic, wait and see if I can get someone to help me with the housing application or ask for help from the cancer clinic and the social worker. I may also have to just walk off some of this stress and figure it out.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    Living4Life, that is a very kind offer and would love to travel. Maybe once every settles here, which it eventually will one way or the other, maybe I could save money and visit.

    I am just going to plod along, one day at a time, see what happens. Work to secure housing, spend less money and work harder on surveys and earning sites. I may also look into weekend work at a dollar store, not sure. Just thinking aloud.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    Shoot, my reply just disappeared when I went back a page.

    Mara, I'm so, so sorry. I hope with all my heart that this gets resolved for you.

    Mae, I'm glad your that your MRI went well and hope that your gamma knife on Friday goes well, too.

    Katyblu, I'm glad you got some reassurance from your NP. (Did I get that right? I'm afraid if I scroll back, I'll lose everything again.)


  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,057

    Mara~ people just suck suck suck suck. Stand your ground. Get that cancer clinic involved ASAP. Not sure they can just tell everyone to go with out adequately informing all involved. Maybe no mention of rent change is they are not increasing as Of now. I definitely wouldn't leave either. Most leases after a year. Flip month to month. But that doesn't include notifications of plans to change ownership and wanting someone to move out usually they should give months and months notice. What a crap shit deal. One day at a time. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Just as I do everyday and night when I lay down to sleep.

    My mouth is feeling a little better each day I think. So it must be the ibrance. So I'll stay off of it until I can no longer be off. Then the circle will start again. Maybe at 75 mg this time. Don't understand why all of a sudden after five years on this medicine. I'm comin up on six years denovo in January. Time flys. No matter what you're doing. Living life. Sick or not time flys.

  • BevJen
    BevJen Member Posts: 2,341

    Mara,

    This website appears to have some helpful information for you, plus near the end it has contact info for help. It might be a good starting point for you.

    https://www.ontario.ca/page/renting-ontario-your-r...

    Hope this helps.

  • katyblu
    katyblu Member Posts: 223

    Mara that is awful of them! What a time of year to do it, as the holidays really do limit moving time. That is some of the shadiest tactics and “management” I have ever seen. I really hope the cancer center can help you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

    Mae, great news about your brain MRI! I’m in your pocket for Friday’s gamma knife, peanut butter cups in hand

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Mara- definitely stand up to them . It all sounds kind of fishy to me. Definitely call cancer clinic and I'm glad your brother will be there when they come back. You're in my thoughts. Life can suck!

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    Thanks everyone for all the mental and emotional support. I am currently unable to sleep at all. Biggest thing for me will be trying to enlist the help of a social worker. I need someone who can help me fill out and find housing. I don't know. I'll appreciate and love you all. Keep you updated as I decide how to proceed. Won't clog this thread up anymore.

  • kittykat9876
    kittykat9876 Member Posts: 420

    I just got back from oncologist, I have progression in my lower back, right femur and lung so we are switching to erubulin (Halaven) as of tomorrow, so goodbye hair, not that I really care if it gets these mets back under control.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    Oh Kittykat, I am so sorry to hear about this, me banging on about my issues and others are really in the thick of it. I truly am sorry and hope that Halavan goes easy on the side effects. In your pockets for moral support.

  • kittykat9876
    kittykat9876 Member Posts: 420

    Thanks Mara but don't be sorry, your news is also very upsetting and you've every right to be upset, I hope you can get it sorted quickly so you can relax over the holidays and enjoy your upcoming birthday celebrations.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,516

    Well, I am 50 today. Of course I did not sleep a wink last night but not feeling to depressive, at least not totally crying. One nice thing that happens is I could be VERY productive on some of my games, surveys and Firecube app that I get paid for. It plays ads on a cooking channel. The company that offers it is paid by the advertisers and we get a small percentage. Also pays in USD which makes it easier. Just going to have to organize days where I sit and do this and walking.

    Chris and Kelly are coming by tonight, I think they want to make sure I have not exploded yet. Keeping myself busy makes me feel better. I will always have internet, phones I can use for money and of course surveys.

    FYI, these are not games that I pay anything to play. Not gambling for cash to be clear nor would I advocate that kind of gambling.


  • sondraf
    sondraf Member Posts: 1,693

    Mara - happy HAPPY birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day and can put this most recent worry behind you for a few hours and celebrate the fact you are still here, still living, still walking, and still doing it all on your own! Make sure you get some cake :)

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,057

    Oh Mara~. I'm wrapping you in a great big hug. I am sending thoughts and good wishes your way. I hope your brother can help. You should move in with them and help them with the bills. (In a perfec world) Just wish there was something we all could do to help each other. My son has been looking for a place for months. Everything has sky rocketed since covid hit. Everything is out of price ranges for these young folks and us on budgets and being sick. It's really a problem only getting worse. Something has to change. Who really could afford $1600 a month for a one bedroom. ???? No one person I know at my sons age or myself being on disability as I am. How are we all supposed to make it ? Happy Birthday sweetheart 🎁