My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mae in your pocket.
Mara things sound like they’re turning around in your favor. I love the support your brother and sil give you. I hope you Enjoyed your milestone birthday.
Kitty sorry to hear about your progression. I hope the havalen gets you to stable quickly with little or no SE’s.
Mel I’m glad your mouth sores are on the mend. My mother has some that they told her take 5 years to heal. She’s 88!!
Waving hello to all
Tany
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Mara- With the guy "strong arming" and saying he "can make it bad", I would get an attorney if you can afford it. No signing anything until an attorney looks at it. Sounds like they are criminals. I would want to move just so you wouldn't have to continue dealing with them in the future. Don't sound like good landlords to have to deal with in the future.
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We're with you All
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Mara - I like your plan. I hope finding a new place goes smoothly. Glad you had a nice birthday.
Candy - Of course I didn't hear the tone of voice when you were advised to get your affairs in order, but I bet you they said it that way because people put off doing these tasks (yep, me too). So maybe they were just trying to spur you into action. And maybe once it's done you will feel some relief, and they know that, too. I think you could get an attorney or the wills and trusts department of your bank to be the executor of your will.. If it's simple, it shouldn't cost much coming from your funds. I plan on getting an official person (rather than a family member) to execute our wills/trusts because from what I understand it can be a lot of work for someone who also has a full-time job and perhaps a family. I think tax forms have to be filed after the money is distributed which is a lot for someone who doesn't do this everyday, but a piece of cake for someone in the business. Just a thought.
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Well, there are 4 of us having GK today and it taking a bit longer, so I got to have my breakfast and COFFEE early. Now I’ll be around for lunch, I picked chicken cordon bleu and cookies
Today’s selfie
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Mae, I am with you in spirit and hoping that they can speed this up for you. Got many goodies, whatever you want.
I just got a call from the victim witness person who was helping me during the murder trial. She called to let me know the person was found guilty of second degree murder, he will be sentenced sometime in December. My statement about the bloody clothes in the yard was one of the statements read out in court and was a piece of the puzzle to help convict. I am happy with this result, glad I helped in the way I could and glad for justice for the victim, his family and friends.
Candy, I agree totally. I would like to get the neighbours together so we can all know what the dude said to each of us. If they are threatening people, they should be reported under the landlord tenant act. I am going with Kelly on Monday to visit the place as well.
I have no illusions about staying here BUT I do know they don't have building permits which delays them, they have to give 4 months notice and pay if we choose to move to another place and come back after renovations but I am also looking at new places as well, doing more surveys and money making things to pad my wallet while I can as well. My brother called the fellow and if the guy comes back, I am to refer him to my brother in all matters which is fine by me. Chris and Kelly are both bulldogs if need be. I have been looking for a new place. Decided that I want a bigger place until I can secure social housing which could take years, if a place charges for power, seeing what my laundry machines would cost to run and tweaking how I would use them etc. Found that one of my money makers that I run on the TV still work when TV is off so still planning for the future. Whichever way this goes, I know things now like I cannot be booted out until March at the earliest, they would owe me 4 months of rent as stated in our tenant act, if I did choose to come back when renovations are going on, the new landlord would have to pay the difference in rent that I pay now. Not sure how it is all shaping up but I am doing more surveys and stuff and treating that like a job and will put away as much as possible. I do feel better about things knowing that I will likely move, get a nicer bigger place and go from there.
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Let's see if I can remember everything:
mara, this seems to be good news! There may be attorneys who work pro bono who could advise you. I have a friend who was an immigration attorney - they worked pro bono.
Mae - OUCH! praying that it goes quickly!
Candy (I think), if your family doesn't want to be the executor of your estate, you can hire an outside firm, like at a bank. They will get paid out of your estate. Settling someone's estate is a major pain, especially if you have real estate or retirement accounts. Even if your "estate" (such a fancy word) isn't that big, you could talk to an estate person and see if it would be worth it. Cuts down on family drama, too. Just my thoughts...
Sorry for those I've forgotten. If I try to go back a page, I'll lose my reply here.
(((hugs)))
Carol
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Thanks for the advise GoKale and Sunshine. My sister and I do not have a close relationship. And I know she doesn't really want the headache of all this. But when I talked with my attorney he asked if I had a friend in mind to be my Executor if my sister didn't want to. I have "friends/acquaintances", but no one close enough to have them in that position. Also, I own a house and a truck and if I end up in a Nursing Home, which I think I will, then someone would have to deal with selling those things to pay the Nursing Home. That is a lot to ask of a friend. I think it should be family. My attorney did not even suggest a bank or attorney to handle all this. I will ask him if that is an option. Make it a business deal and leave the family drama out of it. I will talk with my sister this weekend and see how that goes. Maybe she will agree to do it, even if she doesn't really want to. I would do it for her if needed.
Mae- Wow. You are strong to go thru that.
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Candy-Your texting buddy seems like a loyal friend. Maybe you could ask him if your sister refuses, or you may have some good friends from church who would step up. We singles need both a POA for our material things and also a POA for healthcare decisions. The POA for healthcare decisions concerns me more because they have a lot of power over what happens to you but we can just hope for the best. At least with cancer we won't spend too much time in hospice. It's a tough decision for you and a lot of responsibility for whoever takes it on. I hope your sister will reconsider but if she really doesn't want to do it, you might be better off with a good friend who will follow your wishes.
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Candy, I have been lurking more than posting for a variety of reasons but wanted to chime in that my father had a bank as his executor and settling his estate, although it still took a year to complete the formalities, was very easy for me as his heir. Otherwise I probably would have been handling all the details from out of state. My vote is to check with your bank!
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Chicagoan- I have thought of my texting buddy. But, yet again, it seems so daunting and a lot for someone to be responsible for. Yes the medical is hard because the doctor would go to the person appointed for what to do next, but we, the patient, can talk with our docs so they know what direction we want to take. Then the POA would be following what we have already directed. The financial would be harder I think. Admitting me to a Nursing Home, talking to the business office of the Home, and selling property and possessions to pay the Home. Then dealing with what is left after my death to close out bank accounts, etc and following my Will wishes. I don't really feel close enough to my texting buddy or church friends to have them dealing with all this.
Beaverntx- I am definitely going to ask my Attorney about the bank. A business deal only and not the intimacy of a family or friend situation.
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Sunshine, possibly yes. My brother is keeping track of building permits as they can't kick us out before that and then it is another 4 months after that as I understand it. Still keeping feelers out for other apartments as well. Either way, A few months rent will have to be paid up by the new owners anyway. I am also checking electric rates as well for my various appliances, my wee washer and wee dryer, I am not adverse to using my heating or folding rack, wash in the morning and leave to dry after a spin dry then fluffing on no heat. Changing my spending too, less for groceries which is easy for me as well. At some point, if neighbours are chatting together again, we should actually get together and make sure everything is above board, some neighbours are saying they would move out during renovation and move back in for the same cost, don't know what that would look like either.
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Mara~what crap you're dealing with. I'm so sorry that people can be greedy. I hope you get A newly renovated place at the same price!!!
Mae~ I don't like to see that …. You're a brave strong woman. You deserve a something special. Hugs to you.
Candy~ thinking of you ,, why is everybody and everything difficult. I hope your sister agrees to help you with your need. Sweet friend .
We all go through so much. So much. Day in and day out. Unreal what a cancer patient goes through
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OMG! Just heard an ice cream truck coming down my street, I haven’t seen one in 20 years. So I gave DH a look and grabby hands for cash and ran outside in house clothes and a bandaged head for a “watermelon twist”. Awesome moment.
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Good for you, mae!!! They should have taken pity on your bandaged head, and given it to you for free! Watermelon twist does sound awesome! Enjoy.
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Mae that sounds like great fun after your gamma knife treatment today!
We are on the road San Antonio to El Paso to start our desert road trip. had an infusion this morning and we got a late start on the road just kinda wingin it till we get to Tucson tomorrow. Cruising along to with aTexas sunset, open roads, and jamming to Toto’s Africa.
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I’m gone a short time and come back to such sad news. Mara - belated Happy Birthday but having to deal with the emotional turmoil of possible homelessness. OMG. Kitty - so sorry about progression and the crappy doctor who broke the news. Candy - what a year you’ve had. There are no words. We moved into our new home. I’m exhausted but in such a good place.
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Goldens, glad you have settled into your new home, I imagine you will be exhausted for a while.
I won't be homeless, just have to find a new place. My plan going forward is to find a new apartment, first couple of months are paid by the money the new owners have to pay us for rent. After I find the place, I still will be putting in a request for social housing, I may also look into getting a job at a dollar store type place or cashier at a grocery store on the weekends. We will see what happens. I have also kicked surveys and other money making online into high gear and generated more grocery money which is good.
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Kikomoon, enjoy your trip, I’m sure it will be great. DH and are heading west to the cabin on Tuesday morning and plan to spend just under two weeks out in the alpine area with a possible day trip to big bend.
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Mae, So glad your gamma knive procedure is over. Now you can go and enjoy the cabin and all of the beautiful surroundings the area has to offer. Big Bend is on my bucket list…enjoy. You’ve earned it.
Mara, I have this vision of you in a new place that is perfect, functional, and located in just the right place for you to get everywhere you need to. I am starting to see this as an adventure…and I love adventures.
Kiko, your trip sounds awesome. Have some big fun!
Kitty, do not let progression worry you too much. You will be able to kick it with the next treatment. There are lots to try, so head up. You are a warrior like the rest of us who deal with this disease.
Goldens, so glad your move is over. Before you know it, your unpacking will be all done and you will be settled in and enjoying your new digs.
Tanya, I hope you have a wonderful time with your family in NY. You will need a coat there, but it’s a nice change from our warm weather.
Mel, thinking of you…
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Mae, I'm glad your gamma treatment went well, I used to love the ice-cream truck, we even had one that sold Tylenol, basic groceries and even cigarettes as well as candy and icecreams, back in the seventies.I've got Finn for the weekend, at last I'm feeling well enough to have him. I'm also having my other cataract surgery on Monday, she had a last minute cancellation and I was lucky enough to call at the right time.
Mara, I hope you can find yourself a bigger better apartment, this could all turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Goldens, enjoy your new home, Tany have a lovely visit with your family and Kikomoon have a great trip. Hi to Moth, Laurie, and all our lovely living room people..
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Tanya~ five years for the mouth to heal. I’ll go bonkers first! It’s certainly annoying. Your poor mom! Sending hugs to you……
Hope everyone can at least relax a little this weekend and have as little side effects as possible. We’re a strong bunch. So let’s live !
Thanks for checking in Mods.
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Well, I did have some worry before sleeping about running out of my house sale money before I can secure housing geared to income. I made myself calmer before sleep with the 4-7-8 breathing and went to sleep eventually. Every time a negative thought creeps in, I try to think the opposite. I am quite clever at making money, not a ton but if I work hard enough, I can probably increase my monthly pay by 150 to 200. Maybe more. I have games that pay me by the minute, allowing me to leave the device and it will make a couple dollars a day, I have cooking videos I watch where I get paid when ads are on, surveys are a good way to go. All of these small amounts really do add up. On one site I fill out surveys, they pay in american so when I order canadian paypal, it is 25 percent less, 75 per 100 dollars. This all adds up.
When it comes to a new place, ideally it would be around 900 to 1000 with electric included. If not, I will simply not dry my clothes with heat. Easily enough done, already got the drying racks. I know I will be OK and just keep telling myself that. If I cannot swing it, will try to get a weekend job. Just need to stop worrying and solve the issues at hand as I always advise others when they are worried.
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Mara~ just in our town yesterday they condemned a lower income housing building and evicted 65 people who had no where to go. So this is really annoying me that they are doing this everywhere. Just to make more money. Disgusting slum lords
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Yep, people don't care. I wish our government made it worth the landlord's while to put a percentage of affordable places in a building. My problem also is that I am not considered emergency material to get into affordable housing. I will likely move into a place and look for a small weekend job straight away. The fortunate part is the timeframe the new owner has to follow and I will keep looking for a place in the meantime, kick up on my surveys and such to add more money, spend less money on groceries and stuff. I know how to stretch many things.
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The other issue is that not everybody has a Chris and Kelly to help out if need be or a little bit of money from a prior house sale and little debt. This is how people end up homeless, places are too expensive to live for most people.
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Well I had my phone conversation with my sister today. It went pretty well. She said she knows I will need help as I progress. She just doesn't like to talk about this stuff as it is "morbid" in her words. She is willing to be my POA for healthcare, to be my POA for financial, and be the Executor of my Will (though we did not talk too much about those specifics yet). She wants me to keep in touch with her as I plan all this and let her know if she needs to sign anything. We will need to have some more conversations, and she needs to come over and go thru where I keep all my documents. But today was a start.
Also, I told her of my Palliative Care team (she did not know about them) and I asked if she would be willing to come with me to my appointment with them sometime. She didn't say Yes, but she didn't outright say No either. I think she needs to meet my Doctor and Social worker.
Small steps. But some steps, after 4 years of MBC.
I don't want a husband, but it would be nice in this case. To know who will be there for the decisions, and for when I get sicker. But I guess having a husband doesn't guarantee it either.
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Just when I was starting to get to a non panic mode regarding upcoming eviction, the dude came over to get me to sign an agreement to go. He is supposed to go through Chris but showed up at my door so we did speaker phone. I would very much like to take these people destroying my home security and punt them somewhere. The guy is really pushy and I let him have it about my being a terminal cancer patient being thrown out of her home to the unknown. The lack of respect as well that he would show up when he knows Chris is handling things galls me too. Took everything I could not to start blubbering again, from fury more than anything. They are causing me so much stress and I really don't need it anymore than you all do. Just angry is all.
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Candy-Great news about your sister. That must be a relief knowing she is willing to take these tasks on.
Mara-Those guys seem like big bullies. Good for you for not coming down and holding your ground. I guess they thought they would try to trick you today or manipulate you but they don't know who they are dealing with!!!
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Mara- I hope you didn't sign anything. Greedy people are relentless. Have you talked anymore to your neighbors?
Candy- I'm so glad you talked to your sister. Even little steps is a place to start. How difficult it must be to not have family support behind you.
Mae- I saw your picture of the procedure and you are a brave strong woman. Now you can enjoy your time away to the cabin.
To all who are in the midst of traveling and moving, enjoy and take care.
I think my DH and I might head over to Nova Scotia in the next couple of weeks to do Christmas shopping. Yay to get away and yuck for shopping. I really don't mind but I get so tired and run down.
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