My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
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moth - so sorry your results were not what you wanted to hear😢. I hate this damn disease.
Rosie - good news about your recovery! Just don’t overdo as you get back to activities.
booboo - still doing pocket duty as you wait for results.
So now my left shoulder is acting up🙄. Actually it’s a bit more past the shoulder but for a couple weeks I’ve been having searing pain, like a knife stabbing me in the back. At first it started after I would do something- now it just happens on its own. My pain management doc has me on 100mg of Tramadol for my back issues and while taking this I still get this flare up. Went to Ortho on Monday - his initial thought was tendinitis and gave me a steroid shot. Has not helped so I will probably go back next week for X-rays. I know I have stenosis in my cervical area so I’m thinking that could be the cause which means MRI after X-rays and then injections in spine of some sort. What’s kinda funny is that the shoulder pain is so bad that my back doesn’t seem to be bothering me😜. The joys of getting old w/MBC.
It was a golden gathering at doggy day camp on Monday (except for Royal the poodle on the left.) our Mariah is next to Royal. I love this place for dogs - day camp is not a free for all like at some places. They actually have structured activities and various training sessions each day.
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KBL, no advise on sharing a house other than each having their own areas, which you are doing. My only other thing would be to resist the urge to give unsolicited advice/comment on how they live and raise their kid. DH does that with friends we’ve given a room to and it causes tension, I let people make dumb decisions, so long as it doesn’t impact us directly. You don’t strike me as the type but it’s a lesson I’ve learned through observation.
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My scan results were very surprising. My MO is not sure that the spots seen on the CT in the liver are cancer. She is one of those docs that go right to the actual scan. She thinks that most of the liver and lungs are sarcoidosis, and not cancer. She asked me if I would consider rescheduling the bone scan. I said yes. She said she can get a better read from the bone scan on whether we are looking at active disease or sarcoid.
I asked her if she had a crystal ball how long I have left. She said let me put it this way…I am going to be seeing you for a long while. I was stunned. PTL.
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Mae, I have noticed myself periodically cringing when Mom is gently discipline my grandson, and I’ve caught myself. I’m different in the fact that I can easily acknowledge what I have to work on. If they are disciplining, which usually only involves time out, and he’s crying, that’s what gets me. I will leave the area so as not to interfere. He barely ever cries when he’s with me, but he has no reason. I’m a mush. He’s really well behaved. If I say we have to stop doing something, he’ll try to get me to keep going. Mom and Dad have implemented a timer, so I use that method. When the timer goes off, he stops and goes wherever I need him to. I may not always say yes now that he’s going to be living with me. I know one thing, though. I have a ton of patience with him that I’m not sure I have with everyone else. Lol
Booboo, I’m so happy for you. I hope the bone scan shows no cancer.0 -
Such encouraging news, Booboo! Happy for you.
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Laurie, so happy to hear that the onc is planning to see you a long time. That is wonderful to hear.
KBL, each group sharing their own space sounds reasonable and far less stressful as long as decisions or living do not disrupt you. Discipline definitely would be an area to lay out boundaries.
Goldens, I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with more pain but I do love the doggy day camp. That is awesome.
My house smells like garlic. Using 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/4 cup corn and 1/4 chick peas. Added a small amount of garlic spread as well to flavor and cooking up on a low temp in a frypan on the stove. Have not tried it but smells really, really good.
Edited to add that it was super delicious and a worthy addition. The corn is also worthy of continuing to buy for flavour. I am also planning at some point of baking my canned potatoes into hashbrowns somehow. Wish I could get frozen stuff but no extra freezer. I have a lot of food to choose from and I must remember my rice if I just want a quick snack.
Mel, how are you today?
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Wow Booboo praise the Lord !!!!
I cannot remember your whole story. Your profile says bone/liver mets since 2017. Did you ever have a liver, or lung, biopsy??? Are they saying that you do have liver mets, but, maybe, the latest scans showed progression of the liver mets and maybe it was not progression, is that what you mean? Or are they questioning MBC at all?????
This is what I mean about scans. They are so unreliable at times. My last bone scan made my ortho doc question my bone mets. I had a moment of "oh my, do I even have cancer".
Booboo- I pray you are doing even better than you think and you will be around for a long time.
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KBL - This could be so nice for you all! I think you have a good start, and the fact that you are concerned about your side of the equation is important. I wonder if your daughter realizes the strain it could put on you and your dh. My only suggestion is to consider sitting down and talking about expectations, such as food, cooking, cleaning, noise and... constant childcare (I know you love to watch him, but there may be times...) It can be casual or formal, and it would give everyone a chance to talk about their worries and find common ground in advance.
One of my favorite quotes is, "Unstated expectations are pre-determined disappointments." (I don't remember who said it; I heard it in a leadership course.)
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Oh, moth, damn! I'm so sorry! This disease sucks, big time!
Mae, I'm glad you didn't have to log in this time. It still takes longer to get to my Favorite Topics (more links to click), but at least it's working.
Mel, I hope your stomach bug is gone ASAP.
Hey, mara – I figured you would understand my excitement about my new mop and bucket.
My MO did order the scan on my femur as well but couldn't get it scheduled for the same day as my hip. What??? Her nurse is trying to get them scheduled for the same day. Sheesh – they're connected to each other. How hard is it to do them both at the same time? Thank you for the pocket duty, SeeQ! (Have you ever put an avocado in your green smoothie? It's actually pretty good.)
What an ordeal with your painter! Seriously??? Your pontoon cruise on the lake sounds like fun.
Booboo, how are you!
We're going to our neighbors' house for dinner tonight. I'm looking forward to it. Last night we saw some old (long time) friends who moved away a while back. I guess it was longer than I thought because their little curly, tow-headed baby boy is now a sophomore in high school! Our friend has been dealing with breast cancer, too. I think it scares her to look at me and think that her cancer could progress to Stage IV, too. They have three kids – the youngest is around 6. That must be a parent's biggest fear – to think about leaving your kids motherless. Unless it's losing a child.
I do think it was good for them to actually see me and see that I don't look sick. They're both physicians. She's in family practice and he is an oncologist. We had a wonderful visit with them.
Waving hi to everyone else. My apologies for not mentioning everyone specifically.
Carol
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Oops! I didn't realize I wasn't on the last page.
Goldens - sorry about the shoulder pain, especially that it's bad enough to flare up through the tramadol. Your doggy day camp sounds like it must be so much fun for the dogs - all that attention!
Booboo - that sounds like great news! I hope things keep moving in a positive direction.
Mara - your breakfast sounded wonderful.
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Seeq, I love the saying. It is most definitely true if we do not set our expectations, how can anyone meet them. That is a great saying.
Wow, it is really warm in the apartment, think it may be coming time for DB to install my window AC unit. I also had a bit of a scare when the property manager knocked on my door. I thought he was coming to try to get me out. Nothing like that today, was just here to let me know it would be quite noisy which is different. He was actually nice for a change.
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SeeQ, my daughter is so sweet. She has already mentioned she does not ever want me to be overwhelmed or feel like I’m supposed to watch him. It goes the other way as well. I totally don’t want to hog him. They need alone time with him. I told her I will definitely be open about how I’m doing and if I need a break. I will definitely speak up if I need to, and I want her to do the same. I can be a Chatty Kathy, and they need to say break, please. I will not be offended. Thank you for thinking of me. I want to enjoy him as long as I can while I feel good. I know one day I’ll have to say I can’t anymore. I will not think of that now.
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KBL, you and I have something in common. I have always been a chatty Cathy myself. I really have to reign it in when I talk to my phone friend as well as DB and SIL. I also really have to reign it in at the cancer clinic too so that nurses and docs can get back to work. Just get excited to talk to someone about stuff. It's been really good for me to have to practice this for myself. You are right to enjoy doing things while you can and enjoy that as well. Sounds like you and DD have things pretty figured out.
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Booboo, What a surprising development! I hope that your MO’s suspicions are correct. Would it explain your fatigue and recent weight loss? Do you know what sort of treatment is available for that condition? I am looking forward to hearing the results of your upcoming bone scan.
Moth, I am sorry for your scan results, but it seems quite possible that the progression occurred when you had a gap in treatment.
Mel, I hope you are feeling better today.
I would like you comment on other posts, but I am hesitant to scroll back to previous page to reread them. I hope everyone is having a good day. The weather here is beautiful
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booboo - WOW, WOW, WOW!!! I’ve always said that the most consistent thing about cancer is that it is inconsistent. We are blindsided by MBC. So very happy for you that you will get more time with family.
Looked at the thermometer and it said 72. What on earth - it is so grey and overcast though. If only it was sunny to go along with that temperature! Could sit on the deck w a glass of wine.
Be well friends
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Moth sorry to hear about your scan results. Hopefully it is just the delays you had in treatment from low blood counts. Do you still blog? I haven't seen any links in the living room lately.
Goldens I never saw a doggy day care although my GD takes her dog there sometimes. They just had a baby and sometimes having the dog around is overwhelming for them. I had no idea though that it was actually a fun place.
Mel how's your stomach feeling today? I saw your Tag anniversary on insta I think. I hope all is well at home.
KBL my daughters and son have lived with us over the years. My son and his wife were the first couple and I learned a lot from them. I had to really bite my tongue and not get involved bc remember marriages have arguments, disagreements, good and bad days. With the GC I back up with the parenting when the real parents are around unless they are ignoring the child and they need correction. We do eat together most of the time but it's not structured bc I used to cook all the time but not as much anymore. The main thing is that you love each other and want the best outcomes. I love having my GC live with us now. I found that once they actually live with you; you learn how to say "no" more often to them. Enjoy!!!
See Q I don't like your painter. We had a beautiful painter before covid. He was nice quiet, clean, etc. He painted inside and out and my husband told him daily where he wanted a touch up. thankfully there wasn't any paint on the windows but we did have some on the floor and a few minor things here and there.
Mara I can imagine the property manager would've startled you after all you've been through. I'm glad he's being nicer now though.
Booboo that's great news. You will feel even better once reunited with Teddy and the other new puppy. I'm so happy for you. You can probably go to TX eventually.
Mocogram I did some gardening yesterday, repotting and weeding, nothing compared to your cleaning and hanging curtains.
Waving hello to all my buddies, Sunshine, Candy, SondraF, LivingIv, 50's girl, Mae, Rosie, Runor, DutchChris, Chicagoan, , and all the others I've missed.
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Ok just read 3 pages of posts so I know I won't remember all of them.
Booboo- I am so happy for this news! You must have been floored! We all want you around for a long long time. Sending a big virtual hug 🫂
Moth- I so hope that once you start on a regular treatment schedule that things will turn around for the best outcome. For other issues you are dealing with, when it rains it pours. May the sun shine on you soon.
KBL- how old is your grandson? Definitely living together is a big challenge but if you both have your privacy areas then that definitely helps.
Goldens- love the doggy day care picture. They are so well behaved.
Mae- packing yuck playing with pups - yes!
Mel - hope you are feeling better
Hello Mara,Seeq, Tanya, Candy, Sunshine, Rosie, 50s girl, Chicagoan and everyone I have missed.
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BooBoo~ that’s absolutely fantastic to hear. I’m thrilled. could not be a bigger smile 😃 Hugs to you
Mara~ tummy is on the mend.
Thanks to all that asked. Today it’s been a year since I’ve lost my sweet dog Deeohgee and it’s really difficult still. I am so upset. I want my buddy back. Sigh.
Hope all is well. Hello Tanya!
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Yay booboo! (In a yogi bear voice, lol)
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I missed booboo's post a page back and then was reading all the newest responses. Booboo, that's wonderful news! I'm so glad to hear the positive news!
Carol
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Tanya, I knew you did a lot with your grandchildren. I have a feeling I will learn to put my big girl pants on and say no sometimes. Not looking forward to it because I’m supposed to be the fun one, but definitely understand he will need to be told no.
LivingIVLife, my grandson will be three in August. My daughter had him two months after I was diagnosed. I was so grateful for the distraction and love him so much. My daughter and son-in-law needed childcare, and throughout his life, he’s had both sets of grandparents watching him when needed. He is so comfortable with us that when Mom or Dad drop him off, they try to talk to us and he’s telling them to go. Lol.
Mae, I’m not sure you saw it, but I had sent you a private message yesterday. Let me know if you didn’t get it.
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This was in our house today. Thing was huge. His arms were amazing and strong it held it’s grip so tight to the lamp post. We were very careful. These things are so neat looking. Didn’t want to hurt it. 0 -
Goldens loved the puppy gathering pic! I am a sucker for dogs!
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booboo, I am glad to read of your news!
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Mel, I meant to comment about your pup yesterday. I remember when you told us. That year went super quick. I’m sending you an air hug.
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Candy,
Don’t I wish that my MBC was ALL sarcoidosis. But alas, there is no question that I have MBC. It was found in my femur when I had the rod put into my right leg. What my new Onc is not sure about is whether the lung and spots in the liver are cancer. She said what she saw (she’s seen many, many CT and PET results) did not look like cancer, but more like sarcoidosis. The bone scan will help to determine how aggressive the cancer is in my bones, so that will be good to know.
I was still adamant that I do not want toxic chemical chemos, but she asked if I would try just Fasladex. I said maybe. I don’t remember feeling anything with Fasladex…especially because it was in combination with other drugs. Have any of you had just Fasladex?
The only thing that doesn’t seem right is how much weight I’ve lost (almost 50 pounds). That is consistent with end of life. So we’ll see. Either way, I am content to stay positive and see what the Lord has in store for me.
Love to all
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Booboo- I hope I didn't offend you by my post. I cannot remember everyone's story. And what stuck out with yours is that you stopped treatment, went on Hospice,right?, planned a move to be near your family in your final days. And the weight loss and fatigue. And now the liver and lung MAY NOT be cancer ?! WOW!!!
Maybe they need to biopsy the lung or liver spots, or both. That would show if it is cancer. If it is bone only, those folks can live a LONG time.
I have not had faslodex. Hopefully someone will chime in on doing faslodex alone. But it seems it would be wwaayy easier than combo treatments with harsh chemos.
And your recent weight loss is concerning. There is a lady in my church (small church) that has sarcoidosis. She was not doing well--- using oxygen and on steroids that caused her to balloon up. They changed her meds and she is doing great now. Off the oxygen and lost a ton of weight.
I pray you have several years left to be with family and enjoy life.
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KBL, I checked and have no recent PM’s, sorry.
Another busy day, we have a young, strong friend coming over to help move the last of the big heavy stuff into storage. Then putting our bed set up for sale, after that we’ll only have everyday items to pack up in our vehicles for the long drive. Might be staying in a local hotel for scan days after closing, still working out those details.
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Booboo, Well that doubt from your MO on whether you have liver and lung mets would sure make your head spin. I sure hope you have more time than you thought, but your weight loss seems to point to decline, like you said. I’m glad your faith has given you acceptance of whatever is to come.
KBL, Boy, that sounds like you won the lottery, in having your daughter, SIL, and that beloved grandson coming to live with you! You seem to be very focused on making it work for all of you.
Mel, Wow, that praying mantis would be startling at first. I’m one who likes things like that outside, not inside! I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. Stomach bugs are miserable.
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Hello everyone! It's been a while since I attempted to sign in. Our slow internet is a nightmare at the best of times and this newly re-jiggered BCO site is ...not great. A whole lot of waiting. So to be honest the misery of getting in and getting to where I want to be (my favorites) is painful and I have avoided it.
This is our busy time of year here on the forested mountainside. We have a small window of opportunity after the snow is gone and before all the leafing out happens, to get into the bush and clean up mess. We have been doing that full steam ahead for the past several weekends, when Hub is home to run the chainsaw. At the end of the day I am a creaky, slow moving lump and we are both asleep on the sofa shortly after dinner. When did we become such creaky old people with our mouths open, asleep, while the tv plays to no one? But our hard work is paying off. The bush looks better. I had to laugh, my mom (almost 82) has always critically said that we need to 'clean this place up'. Which we do. Every spring. For 30 years. It's still forested bush. You can clean for weeks and only the cleaner can see the difference. To others it just looks like random bush. So mom came up to spend some time (she is bored) and we gave her a lopper (long handled cutting tool), lit a big fire to throw forest junk on and aimed her into the bush. She happily chopped away at things for hours. Packed lots to the fire. After a while she tuckered out, sat down, looked where she had been cutting and clearing and said, "well shit, it looks the same" . Yes. Yes it does. I rest my case.
My retirement home for hens was kind of pissing me off. I feed the damn things and all winter no one was laying eggs, which is normal, but one or two eggs a week out of 11 birds should have not been unreasonable. Old hens lay less, some of mine are ancient. But I have youngsters in there too at the peak of lay and nada. No eggs. Feeding hens, buying eggs at the grocery store. What's up with that? So I ordered chicks. New layers. They come in the mail. The post office calls at 6 in the morning to frantically say COME GET THESE! Because the noise that a box of chicks can make is quite alarming. No sooner do I get a box of new layers than the oldies see the writing on the wall and jump into production. Now I get 10 eggs a day and it doesn't take long to fill the fridge with eggs! I am going to have to set up my driveway egg box. An honour system where neighbours take a dozen eggs and leave $5 in a cup. Works well, except in bear season, when everything you leave out is for bears to wreck and eat and step on and poop beside. The new chicks won't be laying eggs for another 6 months, until they are grown. I had to order 25, I do not want 25! I will be selling some when they are a bit bigger and don't need a heat lamp anymore.
Aside from that I am doing pretty well. I have decided to ignore the last ultrasound several months back that said my uterus was looking large again. If it bursts into blood like last spring, I will deal with it. I am also too busy to think about my boob thing they found on US in December. I am going for another follow up US in July. This coming July 2022 it will be five years that I was in radiation. This April is the 5 year lumpectomy date. These numbers float into my head. I truly did not think I would be alive right now. Cancer buried me. I wonder if the US in July is going to send me down this road again. It might. It could. So I enjoy every day as much as I can.
My quick and incomplete glance shows that like always with this disease there are good news stories and bad news. It's like a dragon that never rests. It's like we must constantly be warriors. I did see a pic of a chick in a metal bra a few pages back so warrior women seems to fit. Hugs to all, both for the good news and the bad. MEL - if I saw a bug that big in my living room I'd have a stroke! Bears, yes. Bugs? NO! Stay well my friends.0
