My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mara, To me, your SIL was in the wrong, claiming to know your family's medical history, then not accepting your correction. You were the bigger person in trying to let it go.
Hi Mel!
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Thanks Rosie. It is just easier to let it go and not need to change her mind. Conflict like that destroys relationships and I am not willing to do that. I also need to have some empathy for the fact that she has been dealing with a lot health issues that I have not been through. I can let it go and did not even get upset at home which is a good thing, I normally cry a lot, trying to get out of that. I have nothing to prove, not going to try to change anyone's mind about what I can and can't do or my intelligence about things. As far as the don't touch me thing, that bothered me more but I will never touch her again if it bothers her so much. I think I will take a break for a couple of weeks and give both my overstressed DB and sick SIL just deal with their own errands and I will take care of my own as I am capable.
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Mara just wanted to say that was crappy of your SIL. I have a close friend who has lashed out at me a couple of times since diagnosis. I too just let it go. People like that are dealing with their own issues, insecurities, and unhappiness and all I can do is control the way I behave.
Like Mel, I enjoy reading about yourconcoctions and whatever else you have going on.
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Thank you for saying that Kikomoon, if I find something really good that I make, I will post it for sure.
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Mae- we drove in to JTNP from Joshua Tree and drove out at 29 Palms! Had a green smoothie in both towns but stayed in Yucca Valley. Neat places. It was really something going from Slab City and Bombay Beach near the Salton Sea on day 1 to seeing to excess/consumerism of Las Vegas our last day.
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That sounds like an amazing trip Kikomoon!
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mara, I'm so sorry your SIL said that to you! I know that would really bother and upset me, too.
Kikomoon, my DH and I drove out to the Salton Sea one day. It was really interesting, like you said. Slab City, Bombay Beach and all those grand plans that never happened. What was in your green smoothie? Have you tried a date shake? I haven't yet, but it looks interesting.
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Sunshine, though I did not like what was said either, I have told myself to just let it go. They are the only family I have left. Not worth it to me to stay upset or mad. I think venting it and sort of saying how to deal with it for myself helped me to file things away. I don't need to prove I am right, can know I am right in my head. I can also respect her boundaries and not touch her if that is what she wants. Cannot change how anyone thinks of me done good or done bad so I will not. Just focus on me and the things I enjoy like this site and my little surveys or mobile games for some extra money and of course we must not forget laundry.
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Mara, you are kind, wise beyond your years, sensitive and funny. I'm sorry your SIL is not more of a friend to you -- her loss. I always look forward to reading your posts about your daily activities. Keep them coming!
Jan
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Thank you Jan, just as much as I like reading about your activities or pocket duty and everyone else's.
I did not do a lot today, usual suspects, wee games on mobile, surveys etc. I stayed up late last night due to me having a coke during the shopping trip which always means late to bed but that is OK. Just making up some beans for tonight at supper, will probably mix some queso, loaded fries seasoning with spinach and mushroom on top. Going to cook it on the burner of the oven, don't want to burn the beans, just make them a bit crunchy.
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Mara- I love your food concoctions . It gives me ideas to add this to that and so on. (not ketchup though). As for your SIL you are right in we dont know what other people are going through but you handled it perfectly although upsetting. You know we are here so you can talk about anything and everything!
Kikomoon- sounds like a wonderful trip even if I don't know where places are. I know of Joshua's tree and of course Las Vegas. I was there only once and loved it all lit up at night. I guess I was lit too.!
Booboo- always on my mind.
Not much going on here. Went into town on Wednesday and took my son out shopping for the afternoon. We were both tired after. I bought a chair I liked for inside or outside from Home Sense. When I got it home I told my husband it was for Mother's day. He said I thought we were already up to your birthday in November. Ha ha
Tomorrow my son is coming here for the day. He can help decorate for Easter 🐣
Wishing everyone a good weekend 😘
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I did my metastatic support group zoom & then drove out with dh for the CT scan. It all went fine. I'm trying hard to not think about the scan. I mean it is what it is. If Trodelvy is not working, I'd rather know sooner than later. Not sure when I'll get the scan results.
Now I'm deciding what to eat lol. Stress eating while watching something distracting on netflix seems like a plan for the afternoon.
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Netflix and snacks canbe a great stress buster.
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Moth, in your pocket for results.
Mara, I would hope your SIL would at least acknowledge that she was not nice, but I’m glad you can vent to us and know we support you.
It took me a minute to catch up. I’ve had my grandson for the week, and we’ve been nonstop. I’m so grateful my daughter and son-in-law trust us so much. When he’s with us, we try to FaceTime Mommy, and he doesn’t last two minutes and is off. He is such a sweet boy, and I’m grateful for him every day. He is so comfortable with us too.
LivingIVLife, I’m so glad your son can come home and help decorate. Have lots of fun.
Hi, Mel and everyone else.
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KBL- While it must have been very tiring, it sounds like having your grandson for the week was so fun. I miss not having any grandchildren to spoil and then send home. I guess at the same time I can do that with my own special son.
Moth- the dreaded waiting game . In your pocket eating snacks and watching Netflix.
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my DH has got me watching jeopardy and wheel of fortune . I’m hooked. Lol I didn’t think I liked that. But I was wrong.
Hello mocogram. Nice to see you
Kikomoon~ I can’t bring myself to eat those smoothies either. I should maybe grow a pair and try it lol. Never know. They are too green for me.
Sunshine~ hello lovely!
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moth~ thinking about you! Love Netflix. I do the same thing. Hugs my friend
Living~How did decorating go?? I took my dd out for some clothing she has lost weight and all her clothes are too big. I love spending time with her. It was my treat. Which I love for her to save money.
KBL~ how awesome that you could have your grandson all week. So happy for you I’m smiling. I hope every second was fun!
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KBL, glad you are enjoying time with your grandson. Those are always such good times.
Mel, glad you had some quality time with DD and shopping for her would have been a great treat for her!
Moth, in your pocket with the Decadent chocolate chip cookies from President's Choice. I bought them when shopping yesterday. Been fairly disciplined, only had part of the box. instead of eating them all.
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We had an awesome time yesterday. It was grandparents day at our granddaughter’s school - she’s in K4 at a Lutheran school. It was a blessing to be there with her! The morning had a wonderful structure -depending on the students last name you rotated through 4 activities. We started at the book fair (why wouldn’t the school expect grandparents to dole out $$ on the grand kiddos) then had snacks, onto the chapel where the pastor gave a wonderful presentation on grandparents/grandchildren, then a photo with our granddaughter and lastly a visit to her classroom where we got to meet the teaching staff and meet other students and grandparents. The pastor’s presentation was my favorite part, mainly for how he began it. There were large projections onto each side of the walls, and the first thing we saw was this quote:
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have the same common enemy - Sam Levenson
I thought that was quite funny and a bit true! After we were done at school we met up with the other grandparents and our granddaughter’s 2 cousins and we had a wonderful brunch together. Then in the evening the other grandparents who just happen to be very good friends living 2 blocks away, brought over carryout fish dinners (no meat on Fridays in lent for us Catholics) and afterwards we played Farkle. Just an all around great day!
Hubs and I started watching 24 from the beginning. He only saw the last few seasons and I think I only saw it starting around season 3 so we’re enjoying that. If you like a taut, edge of your seat show to watch, I highly recommend it. Each season covers one day, and each show is an hour of that day. It centers around a counterterrorism agent, Jack Bauer. Lots of twists and turns, I’ve been a good girl and not telling hubs what happens down the road in later seasons!
Thinking of all of you and wishing you a peaceful weekend. HUGS
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Thank you, everyone. I will be honest and say I wasn’t sure about having grandchildren. I have one child, and I wasn’t sure how I felt. Well, I will tell you how I feel. From the minute he was born, he stole my heart. I am retired and can spend so much time with him. Mom and Dad were firefighters, so we got him a few times a week. Dad is still a firefighter and now works more days, so we still get him. This was, I believe, our sixth trip with him up here, and he absolutely loves it. The older he gets, the more fun it is. I don’t care how tired I get. I get to give him back and catch up.
LivingIVLife, I hope you had a great day decorating with your son.
Goldens, I love the quote and have copied and pasted it.
I like another saying I see often. “If Mom and Dad say no, ask Grandma. If Grandma says no - oh, who are we kidding, Grandma never says no.” That’s extremely true in my case
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Goldens, that does sound like a great day! It's so nice that the other grandparents live close by and you all enjoy each other so much. I think it's especially a plus for your grandkids to see everyone as one big family. As to 24, you brought back a lot of fun memories. A couple work friends and I used to laugh that Jack (and Kim) were like Energizer bunnies that never quit no matter how much running and dodging of bad guys they had to do. Great show.
Just sitting around this weekend. Feeling pretty decent after my first chemo, just some foggines that's hanging on. Monday is treatment again as long as labs are ok. The stabilizing rods and pins from my spine surgery are driving me crazy. I can feel them (not sure exactly what) when I sit in the car or flat against the back of the couch. Weird feeling. I try to sit at an angle now. I see the ortho surgeon on Tuesday and will be interested in what he says.
Hi Candy, hope you're ok. It seems like you've been away from the living room? Anything interesting from ortho doc on your mri?
Moth, waiting in your pocket for your results.
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Rosie,
A suggestion regarding unusual feelings from your rods/pins -- I had a rod put in my L hip and commented to my ortho what I could feel it -- if I sat a certain way, if I got up a certain way, etc. He suggested that I gently massage it with skin lotion several times a day. I tried it, and it helped me. Over time, the weird sensations have subsided.
Hope this helps.
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Not doing too much today, housework and watching TV. My brunch was a little out there. Took some chicken with rice soup, drained the broth so I was left with rice, carrots and bits of chicken. Added 1/4 cup of pinto beans. Heated up a pan on my stove and added the rice/chicken/carrots mix, the pinto beans and a bit of beefless ground. Cooked them up on medium until I felt they were well heated. Put on a plate. Added some garlic parmesan seasoning fry seasoning, bit of wheat bran for extra fiber. Took a spoonful of mayo to bind it all together. Absolutely delicious and had to set some aside due to getting very full. I don't particularly enjoy soup so it does not bother me to drain the broth.
I just noticed Disney Plus has all the 24 episodes. I used to watch all of those seasons over and over between calls when I worked at home. I loved this noise! I might have to again. Watch the vid to the end if you wish.
Rosie, hoping Bevjens suggestion of massaging with lotion helps it feel better or the other way you are sitting makes it feel better. In your pocket with chocolate just in case you need it.
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KBL and Mel- for the Easter decorating my son had no problem picking out the little decorations to put up. When it came time to actually help he sat down on the couch and put a movie on. Oh well! It was still fun.
My aunt who was in her ninety faithfully watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune all her life. We knew never to call her in that time period or there would be hell to pay!
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Hi all. I am here (thanks Rosie for checking on me). Reading along.
This week has been a flurry of messages back and forth to my MO nurse. I say nurse not MO, as I think the nurse fields most of the messages herself. I hope they get relayed to my doctor at some point. Anyway, I had a bone scan per my local ortho doc. I have so many joint pains that she wanted to check the bone scan since I have not had one with oncology in 2 years. The bone scan came back with uptake in the cervical spine, thoracic spine, lumbar spine, right hip, sternoclavicular joint, and my left big toe. The thing is the radiologist stated on the report, all are most likely degenerative in nature. My ortho doc then wondered if I have bone mets at all !!!! So off I go messaging my MO nurse with "what if I don't have bone met cancer". The MO nurse says that the bone scan sounds like no ACTIVE cancer, but that we do have documentation of the bone mets from 2017 with a PET BEFORE my treatment started (C2, T11, L1, and L2). And that the bone scan is good news, as no ACTIVE cancer.
I don't really understand all these scans. I think bone scans are not a good indicator for me with all the arthritis I have. My question is, how do we find progression of the bone mets in me? I am getting my MO copies of the images for their radiologist to review.
The lumbar spine MRI came back as I suspected. "severe narrowing of L5S1 with impingement of L5 nerve root and S1 nerve root" with disc bulging and "moderate narrowing of L3L4" with a disc protrusion. And osteophytes seen. Ortho doc said I could use Celebrex, but would need to watch liver enzymes with my liver mets. And could use muscle relaxers and pain pills. Again said that in someone else he would do a lumbar fusion, but that I am not a candidate. He did suggest an epidural steroid injection-- but last time that was suggested the doctor that does them (not this doc) said No due to my white counts. I would have to see what they say now with my counts being a little better on Lynparza. But, I have the blood thinner too--I would have to pause that for a few days. So... I don't know.
Anyway, lots of appointments lately. Hopefully the rest of April is doc free. Hip steroid injection is May 2.
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Candy,
I told my Onco orthopedist and my onc that I really hated nuclear bone scans (which I'm assuming is what you had.). In the past, they kept showing arthritis until I had the issue with both of my femurs, when one radiologist spotted a mix of arthritis and cancer in both.
The Onco orthopedist said that I could switch to a skeletal survey, I think he called it. To my understanding, this is a series of plain X-rays that are then read to determine what's going on with bones. He said that it was actually used for multiple myeloma patients to scan for any bone mets. So I have that on the books for June. There is no nuclear injection and from what he described, it's just a lot of plain X-rays. My oncologist was okay with this approach. You might ask your doc about it and see if she thinks it could provide good info for you.
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Mara, Oh yes, the tick, tick, tick! One last 24 reference, I loved seeing the President Palmer actor in the Allstate commercials. He has such a recognizable voice. Goldens, thanks for starting the 24 reminiscing. 😊
BevJen, Thanks for the massage tip. I do get lotion applied by my DH, but I’m still a little afraid of any real massage. I’ve tried to feel with my hand when I feel the pressure but there’s nothing to be felt. Maybe that’s when I should try some massage. Mara, thx for the offer of chocolate, I would never turn down chocolate.
Living and Mel, Jeopardy is a nightly show in my house, Wheel of Fortune is here and there. The recent long-running champ, Matt Amodio, grew up and went to high school in my town in northern Ohio. Living, I know your aunt was the fan, not you, just included you anyway.
Candy, That’s very interesting that the bone scan report mentioned only degenerative changes. Maybe you have a lot less going on cancer-wise than was thought. Have bone Mets ever been mentioned in your MRIs? I’ve had a mention of suspected activity at L1 (where I had the large lesion compressing my spine) going back to September and December MRIs as it turns out. It was still small then and not taken seriously by my MO due to the wording in the reports. (I’m hoping for no more bone scans too BevJen, as it completely missed my then large L1 lesion.). I’ve learned that the type of scan makes a difference in what is seen, and that may also vary from person to person.
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Hello Ladies ~ Hope going weekend is going good, i developed a stomach bug of all stomach bugs. Ugh! Been in and out of bed. Real painful! Hope no one gets it!!! Hugs to all
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Mel- I do hope you feel better soon. A stomach bug on top of everything else isn't what you need right now. How is your painting going?
Candy- you have gone through a load of scans which seems like it has added more confusion than answers. I have fibromyalga and RA. It's hard to differentiate what the pain is from. I hear you and the stress of it all.
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Goldens, 24 is great and it was the show that started our Sunday TV and dinner tradition, which lasted until lockdown.
Candy, sorry the bone scan isn’t clear. I had two assumed bone mets but only one (the original one) that was biopsied. Upon extensive review by my trial rads onc, they believe the two are just degenerative and an injury. I wish the images offer more certainty.
New puppy pics, forgive me if I’ve already posted these.
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