how about drinking?
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oh cyn. the swamp is open
nm-hope your enjoying the cruise
(((((((((((kat))))))))))
congrats on the 98 lara
have a good day ladies
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Best Double Meanings and Non Veg Jokes (Strictly 15+ Allowed)Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing”, I said.
Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me" she said, and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 73 years old, and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a membership card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again; I really don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week."
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.
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Julie........as usual you have me rolling on the floor!!!!! Thanks!!
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Another quick good morning, as we have to get ready to get outta Dodge. Had a horrible scare scare yesterday, my baby brother tried to commit suicide. He is ok now, took pills with booze but not nearly enough pills needed to do the job. His partner is a huge alcoholic, my mom gave them $100 for Xmas and he took and spent it ALL at the bar. Brother went and literally drug him outta the bar and they got into a huge physical fight. Brother has said he has felt like this for weeks and this had put him over the edge. I told him he needed to reach out to family when he felt like that, cuz NO ONE loves him more than his family. He said he didn't want to inconvenience anyone! I wanted to slap him! And of course told him that was NOT inconveniencing ANYONE. Anyways, now he wants to go to V.I. with my son and I, but he only wants a one way ticket! He wants to stay there, stay with my daughter until he can get his feet on the ground.
Cyn, dunno wus going on wif de X, but hoping he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Gonna fake me a birfday so I can get me some of doze goodies and git to see Sha nay nay again!
See y'all tomorrow morning!
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Goldie very scaryI am relieved everything is ok, yes turn to family
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OMG Lori, how horribly scary! Oh wow, my heart hurts for him to be hurting so much. SO THANKFUL he wasn't successful at that. Poor dear, I hope he now realizes how much his family loves him, and that he should reach out to you if he ever feels that way again. But of course, when you are that far down, everything seems hopeless no matter how much your loved ones care. Wonder how your DD will feel if he DOES get a one-way tix and stay with her?? Dang it, why do we all have so much crap hitting us right now? I am just really, really grateful that he is okay, but I hope someone will stay with him constantly for awhile, to make sure he will be ok.
Cyn, shoot, how can he sue you now??? How awful!!!!! I mean, you all have been divorced for a long time, I think. Sheesh....put him in the swamp!
OOPS, I think Red might think Reese is a guy, but Red, her Reese is her little doggie who got neutered, plus other things, this week. No way of knowing it is her dog though, but I thought that was cute.
Julie, Julie, Julie...omg that was funny!!!!
OK, now Lori and I are going to have a birthday too!!!! Hahaha, Sue just put a phony birthday on FB, just like I did. BUT if you look at the age she put, omg she is 83 today!!! Sue, I put a much younger age, lol. But I think its funny that I get bday wishes in March too, even though my real one is in Sept. But heck, we can have another partay!!!! So Happy Faux Birthday, Sue....Happy 83!!! LOL, jest kidding!
So nice to see you back here Shannon....and oooh lah lah, lots of nice eye candy to enjoy!!! Hmmm......might want to learn boxing right now! lol
Hi Cami, Aly, Chrissy, Lara, Dorkie, and everyone else!!!!1
Hugssssssssssss, TiredKat (got up at 3:30 ayem to take my parents to the airport....my mom looked SO good, happy,young...not like a 93 yo should look!)
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Kat I hope u'r resting now, u certainly didn't have enuff sleep.
Lori, OMG Lori how horrible, u'r poor brother what misery he's having to even do all this. Do u think tho it's a good idea about staying with u'r DD, I mean that could be a lot to handle for her. Oh this is so sad, I feel for u and u'r family.
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Julie that was so funny and we need some funny here.
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Lori so sad that you are going thru this heartbreaking experience. How is he doing today? Do u think your DD will let him stay? How awful for you either way. I'm sorry this has been added to your plate. {{{{{Lori}}}}}
Kat, didn't u say you were getting smaller plates? Omg, Reece is her dog. I fell down laughing. 2nd best chuckle I've had today. I'm glad your parents are off on their adventure now. Don't worry about them. There is nothing you can do from there. Deep breath, relax.
Cyn - snicker, snicker - i apologize for my misreading of your post. I am glad to hear that you did not marry your dog. Chuckle. In my own defence, your Reece sounds a lot like my DH Rick. Rofl.relax. O and since the swamp is open, should I bring a shovel or chains and rocks?
Julie, how did you manage to keep a straight face throughout that telecom? I'm sure I would have been laughing so hard she'd have heard it and the game would be up. Prostitute club - 5 jumps a week! Holy chit! You are too funny.
Sue, you had a faux bday? How'd you manage that one - and pegged at 83 no less!
DorK, I don't remember if you told us how you were going to keep your dad from being jealous about your mom. You said it was brilliant. What was it? Back to work tomorrow? Or are the roads still slippery?
Cami, nice drink of the day today. Think I'll have a few of those on my vacay - which is now only 5 says away!! Yippee!!!
Chrissy, Aly, Lara, Beanius & Bernie hi there. (((hugs)))
I know I missed someone or two. Sorry. Hugs to you too.
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HI,
Omg....Lori..so horrible..I am praying for your family and your brother that he can overcome whatever is bothering him so much to try and take the one beautiful gift he was given by God. It sounds as if he realizes he needs some soul searching. I pray that everything works out for him.
Red...yes, Reese is my dog...lol..he used to be my avitar. He is a cutie patootie.
Oh yes....I fell for the birthday FB thing too...and I actually know that SuZQT's Birfday is in November....so Im a dummy. Julie says we should eat your cake. ha.
Wahine ..My X husband is suing me for a few things...my DS braces for one..when he was 14 yo (he is now 23) . and DD's college..thats the big thing...in all he is wanting somwhere in the area of 30K. I just thank God that I signed up for legal services insurance thru my company during open enrollment this year...I dont know why this year of all years I opted for it...Fate I guess...Like how I went without medical ins for so many years and signed up during open enrollment the year of my RB DX. I wont bore you with the details on everything. I do have an attorney tho and I hope I will come out of this with my head high and with him running with his tail between his legs.
I am tired..my eyes hurt and my head so Im going to sign off for the night....I hate this stupid 2am shift bull crap...which reminds me I created a folder for all the court stuff I marked it as the Assholx file and wrote that it contains Bullchit...Yes, Red....get all the materials that are needed for the swamp...Julie...were coming.
Nightol
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Cyn I can't even believe that this is a court case, but I guess it is now. Braces??? I'm sorry let's just get everything ready and go to the swamp with big heavy rocks--Let's not waste court costs and attorney fees.
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Good idea Cami!!
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Good Morning Ladies---
My DOTD is the first thing that I do cuz I'm trial and error--u all know that--things don't come easily when it's new to me. So whatever I get I get. LOL
I hope everyone had a good sleep last nite, to be ready for Monday. I'm sure everyone always has more to do today and now the week is real.
Lori I keep thinking of u'r brother and I pray this all works out. I know it's to soon to see how things are going for him but this is tuff.
Kat how are u holding up--I'm glad u'r mom looked so good, that does make u feel better, now I know it's concentrating on u'r DD, and DD2 is coming also--when is she coming????
Aly I hope u'r feeling better and u'r tummy is doing well with food.
Dork are u working today and what is going on with u'r dad. Is he OK?
Cyn I can't help but think ---I know anyone can sue anyone now--- this sounds like such a frivolous lawsuit, of course a lawyer would take it, the only lawyer that wouldn't would be the one that gets paid only if he wins. So good thing u keep organized.
MY page is bouncing now so I'll BBL---Hi everyone.
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good morning all
((((((((((lori and cyn)))))))))
post gremlins again
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Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I think he will be ok, like I said he didn't take much, so I think it was more of a cry for help. My mom made him promise that he would never do anything like that again. There is other stuff going on, not anything that I would share on a public forum. My DD is fine with him coming and staying for a bit, but I'm not sure this is the time. Because of the other stuff that is going on. I actually need to talk to him, ON THE PHONE, and he just sends me texts or message on FB. So it's kind of pissing me off now. But not talking to him, I can't tell for real how he is doing. And if he doesn't call me, I will not buy his ticket. If anyone wants to know what is going on, I don't mind sharing, just PM me.
Cyn, I didn't know you could be sued for such things as a childs college. That was HIS choice to pay for it, right? Or did you say you would help and didn't? And for braces, so long ago? What bug crawled up his arse? I will help at the swamp.
Kat, glad your folks got off ok. How long are they gone? And how is your daughter holding up? Is your DD2 doing well from her surgery?
Cami, you are a doll for doing the DOTD, that one for today sounds really yummy.
Sue and Kat, there is NO WAY I would want 2 birthdays in one year. 1 is too many!
Dork, where be you and wassup lady?
I wonder what kinda fun NM is having! I hope she is having the time of her life.....well of course she is!
Red, are you waiting for more doctor appointments, to see what your treatment plan will be? And you are taking your vacay before starting, right?
Well I must get my happy ass moving, I slept til 6 this morning! Time to hit the shower. Happy Mundane Monday.
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Good morning all. ! Happy Monkey Day! Shower for me too.
Sarah
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Hi breasties I figured it was high time I checked in and let you know I was still alive and breathing
Its been 3 years now since diagnosis I cant even believe how fast time goes by. I had an MRI done recently and am so happy to report NED. Funny how the anxiety kicks in with every check up hey. I am working now at the University of Alberta for a world leading cardiologist and loving it. Have begun dating again some of you older ones might remember the drama with the x....uuuggg turns out he was a narcissist YIKES. I never did grow my hair out have decided to keep it short and dark no blond for me again I am a whole new woman. OH and the biggest news I do not drink Whiskey any more!!! I switched to Vodka.....hehehehe. Speaking of Vodka I am going to dust off my pink leopard bar stool and have one.....I like the new bartenders girls....nice job recruiting ....Hugs to allKymn
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KYMN!!!!!!!! Oh how wonderful to see you and hear that you are living life and doing well. So glad you are working at a job you like and are dating again! Love, love the new you in the avatar and the hair looks amazing!!!!
I'll just stand next to you and have a vodka with you......I usually fall off my bar stool so t has been retired.....hahahahaha!
TITTIES UP girl!!!!!!!!!
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Kymn u look fantabulous and u sound like everything is going so well for you--it 's good to hear great news. Keep it going.
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WooHoo our Kymnie is in de lounge!!! So glad you pooped in, Kymn (yuppers, Dottie taught us to say poop instead of pop, and fart instead of heart). Missed you! Glad things are so good for you now, and yes I do remember the psycho ex....that was awful, but YOU came out on top!!! Wonderful news of NED, and your good job, and dating too. Yippee!!! Now don't be a stranger....when I read you do not drink Whiskey my first thought was ON NO, Kymn quite drinking totally!!! So am glad you jest switched to wodka. Jean Bean loves her wodka too. Stay around and get to know the new gals that joined the lounge since the last time you occupied your pink leopard bar stool. OH, and btw, thanks to Bernie and the others that were falling off their bar stools (oops! lol), we now have pillows on the floor so if you fall off your barstool, you won't get hurt!
Hi to everyone else! I am bizzzy trying to do work at home, since I will be at my DD's tomorrow and Wednesday. She has to get the feeding tube inserted in her tummy tomorrow, so it will be another hard day for her. Thanks for continued prayers!!!!
Hugsssssssssssssssssss,
Kath
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OOPSIE I took so long to type, I bumped into Chrissy and Cami! BUT those Tenders are soooo quick, they caught you both, and you DO have big smiles on your faces, and they have big....ummmmm....well, you know.....
And Yes, I forgot to comment, but your hair looks amazing, Kymnie! And we have more Canucks in the lounge now too!!!
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Lori of course u need to talk to u'r brother on the phone, u have to hear his voice, his sounding and balance. Maybe he's embarrassed at this time--u are his sister--and it's harder to talk to the people closest to u. But I agree u can't move forward in any way until u know exactly what's going on with him---this is a difficult time for him and all of u.
Hey Julie--that should get Dork's attention.
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LOL Julie....now there are TWO funnies that should get Dorothy's attention!!!! soooo funneeeeee....
Yeah Lori, Has your brother spoken to you yet? Still praying he is okay, and praying for your mom too, as I know this must be so hard for her too. And she is such a sweetie.
Yummy DOTD Cami, I have all the ingredients, except not sure if we still have Chambord, as I never liked it (and might have thrown it out), but it may be good in THIS drink!
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lori hope you get to speak to your brother, how many days to your vacation?
kat-your dd and family are always in my prayers
kymn-you look fantastic,glad life is good for you.you deserve it
cyn- you need lunch, I will email you my schedule so i can take you out to lunch because you have a special day coming up unless yours is fake too!
cammi-hope your not working too hard
bought myself a little pressie today, a new car, got a blue dodge journey
have a good day ladies
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WOWSA, a "little pressie", Julie????? That is awesome!!!!! I think Pants is wanting you to take him for a ride..... (and whatever happens afterwards is up to you!).
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