Worst Thing Someone Said To You?
Comments
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So my DH is driving me home after my exchange surgery and my friend texts me and says, "So, are you voluptuous now?" Someone seriously needs to invent a phone where a hand comes out the other end and slaps the person silly.
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kate: I would buy that phone LOL! Personally I would prefer a hand with a boxing glove on it that would knock someone out the moment something stupid came out of their mouth.0
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MBJ- I think there would be a big market for your phone especially!
hymil- LOL!!! Now why didn't I think of that response? Perfect! Thanks!
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Kate: how about "yes! My breasts are as big as your brain!"
Kat
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Over the years I have done as much research as possible on an Uncle who was killed in WWII when his Torpedo Bomber went over the side of the USS Hornet on take off ( he was only 19 when this happened, I wasn't born)...I never met my Uncle but was always curious and I was able to contact an Airman through some Naval websites that I left my name on as a contact for any info about my Uncle..The Airman was a radioman also ready for take-off behind my Uncle's plane and I had him contact my Dad and give my Dad first hand info about this incident and I believe it gave my Dad some closure which he had not had since this accident in 1944...Okay, Okay, I know you're thinking "what does this have to do with this topic?.......Well, just last week the US Navy, Dept of MIA's contacted me to ask for a DNA sample since I and my sisters would be the closest since my Dad had passed away years back...They said just in case they have any remains that have been around and not identified....I said sure, it would be great!!!...When I told this to my older sister, she said well, I think you should have them send me a DNA kit also, I told her that I don't think they would do more than one family member, and she said well, get me thier phone number and she would call them and find out....At first I did not understand why in the world we both would need to be tested....Then my younger sister told me that my older sister wanted to have her's done also in case they could not reach me!!!!!....In case I were not around anymore!!!!!!......Just for that I plan on being around for a long long long time out of spite!!!!!!
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somanywomen- Wow! What do you even say to that? Except maybe she's not really your sister. Maybe she was left on your parent's doorstep by gypsies? Speaking from one who knows, it sucks to have a sister like that but it's o.k. because I now have hundreds of wonderful "sisters" on here who support me every day. And so do you!
flyingdutchess- Another good comeback! Maybe I need you guys on speed dial for those quick responses!
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Kate, I definately need one of those new phones that you described....KAPOW!!!!!!.....knock her on her oversize butt!!!!!!!...My Mom says that she has always been jealous of me and that is why she is so mean........Both my sisters have had different medical problems all thier lives esp., the older one....This is my very first med problem (I feel that as of now I have great prognosis) but she only wants to talk about the dire outcome of bc with me....I feel great and better physical shape than I have been in years...and she is not!!!....I think if they did test her DNA, she would probably be found to be related to Cruella De Vil!!!!!
I'm so glad we can say things that bother us on this site with no judgements, it feels so good to get things out and have support from those of us that understand....
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somanywomen- One of the most interesting things I've discovered going through this is the people I really thought would be there for me, with a few exceptions like my wonderful Mom, were not. And the people I never imagined cared a lick about me were there every step of the way. And I have heard that from many other women as well. It is a strange phenomenon. You are right about this site, though. It's better than any shrink I have ever gone to (and cheaper, too!). BTW, love the Dylan quote on your tagline!
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Somanywomen...Wow, how heartless is that!?
Mine happened just after I was diagnosed. I found out about the cancer on a Tuesday (I had the PA call me at home because I had small kids and it was hard to get deal with them in an appointment setting let alone one where I may find out if I had cancer) and my first 'official' appointment was with a surgeon was on that Friday. I felt like I had a good surgeon if he could have got me in as quickly as he did. I had the appointment as scheduled. My mother had breast cancer when I was a Freshman in high school and they got her in there very quickly to get things done. Between tests and surgery it was all done within a week and a half and then she started chemo once healed from surgery. When I started the process, I was expecting to be treated in a similar fashion. The next week after being diagnosed I was expecting to get testing and get everything ready for the MX. I was brushed off and I called and called the surgeons office until they admitted to me that the surgeon was on VACATION!!! I was outraged and then said I want to talk with one of his co-workers and the person who schedules for the surgeon sat there and told me that one week would not make much of a difference one way or another..even a MONTH wouldn't! She also added that my surgeon was the one in charge of my care, and that I couldn't speak with any of the others about starting to get tested! Then to add insult onto injury, the surgeon was suppose to put a port in me and was not able to do so because the port was faulty and while he had me out he would have had a chance to correctly stage me with a lymph node biopsy, but did not. I didn't have the node biopsy done until AFTER I had all of my chemo..so I am not totally sure about the correct stage, and my NEW BREAST Surgeon said I had about 25% to 30% chance at it being a false negative! I quickly got rid of the original surgeon who I seriously think wanted me to get cancer again so he could get more business, because I am young and SHOULD have a long life ahead of me. I ended up going with Swedish up in Seattle, which has been a great change and I found a wonderful breast surgeon along with a great PS.
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Kate and Colette.....I think some of our Docs just wished we would act like Zombies and not question the oh-so-many things that real cognitive people should question......Like they could have at least told you he was on vacation instead of giving you that run-around...Then once we do get a hold of mentally and hopefully physically control of at least some of our normal lives, we then have to deal with the ignorance of other insensitive people......Colette, I'm glad you didn't except that crap and found yourself a wonderful doctor....Kate, I also like your quote, that's a great one!
I have been dealing with my Mom in the hospital for the last 6 days and can get no straight answers to why and what she is in for, they have done every test her insurance will allow (pay for$$$$) and they have taken a woman who was totally on the go everyday of the week and turned her into the Zombie I just mentioned....I feel this is dragging me down but because I am the daughter who lives the closest, (the other two live 1 1/2 hrs away) they are conveniently finding excuses to stay away...Well, I have decided if my mom calls I will answer but if they want to find an update on her they will need to call her or the hospital and not me, I love caller ID!!!!!!!....
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Dear Kate, I found the same thing,only one friend and a neighbor have been with me all tthe way. through the waiting, through the anxiety and now at my almost 1 year anniversary. The other ones have just treated it like a bad case of bronchitis I should be over now. My daughter has been like a rock for me, taking me to the doctors, writing notes, asking questions. She found this site for me and you are right - here I found my support group.It's been a grand place to vent when people talk before putting brain in gear.
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karen333- Interesting that we both have all those 3's! My friends treated my BC as though it was a highly contagious, certainly fatal disease that they should avoid being around at all costs. As though visiting me, or even calling to see how I was, would some how jeopardize their own healthy breasts. Like little malicious cancer cells could creep through the phone line and attach themselves to their bosoms! LOL!
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I have an uncle that I thought I was close to. He didn't call me until I was in the middle of radaition. When he did call, he said that someone had told him not to call me, send me a card or visit. So he didn't. He won't tell me who told him this because he knows I'll go after that person. Even though it was a couple months ago, it still bothers me.
somanywomen-I hope your mom is doing better soon and you can get some answers.Hugs!
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Someone "You got your hair cut"
ME "I needed a change and it is easy to take care of"
Someone "My family wants me to change my hairstyle but I would have to have chemo for it to change"
ME "yup"
She had no idea my "haircut" was not by choice.
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Kate33 -
I absolutely love your quote..."Yes, they're fake.....", etc.....so cute, so true!!!!!
Julie
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Thanks Julie! I saw it on a t-shirt online! I'm going to wear it for my "coming out" party!
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Actually mine would be (-)(@), didn't get the nipple reconstruction surgery on the one I had removed...
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Julie- LOL!!!
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Fransavin01: A friend of mine who had almost exactly same DX as mine, had "her" friend tell her how another friend they have in common w/BC should be happy the doctor saved her life, instead of criticizing the butchering surgery that this woman underwent for mastectomy. (From her description, it looks like a propeller from a boat went straight across the chest!!) My friend that heard this from her so-called friend, said "that's Bull-*$6%, he did not "save" her and he should have been ashamed of the hack job that was done. Would this friend have said the same comment if SHE was the one that had undergone the horrible scarring surgery?? Don't think so.
Shelly
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When one of my sisters found out I had cancer, she eventually called and the first thing she said was."..look at that...you were the one eating all the health food and you were the one who got cancer. Funny, isn't it?" I was stunned. She also said I better not die because she can't afford to send any flowers. (I think this was an attempt at humor?) My mother in law said, "I think it's great how great you are handling this; especially since you are such a dark person." Really? Really? I decided the best way to handle such comments was to laugh at how blatantly insensitive they are and realize these people haven't a clue.
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Just yesterday when i was trying to get my benefits and leave all coordinated at work , the lady who handles the schedule and insurance benefits tells me i will lose my job if i'm out over 12 weeks ( found out she was dead wrong), when i tell her i need chemo and medical leave for 6 months she says to me " you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, you should have no problem working during chemo" I work in retail, lifting heavy items and dealing with the public. can we all say " duhhhh....." made my husband furious! (he works at the same place)and i went to my management in tears..... then i envisioned punching that lady right in her dumb head, and i smiled
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Angel ---google Micheals and lawsuit after mastectomy. If your company didn't revise an old policy after that settlement which was within the last year. They are pretty stupid
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I've read all these posts with tears and laughter. Yes - I'm really annoyed with the people that say things like "you have to be positive and you'll beat it" and "you are the strongest person I know"
I had one woman at work ask me how I was just after my second chemo tx, so I told her. She was very sympathetic and then asked why I couldn't have all the treatments in one go instead of spreading them out! Lol - that really gave me a good laugh. In fact I still laugh when I think of it and I'm 9 weeks PFC. I can't believe how clueless some people are lol
Trish
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I guess I was naive. I got Bc in early 09 and my husband was dx'd with another ca 3 months later. AND when people would ask how did you get cancer i would give them and answer as best I knew ---genetics and my husband abestosis exposure---------it wasn't until the last few months I realized that it wasn't any of thier damn business.
Now presented with a new problem, my husband passed away in August. more people than I can count are acting strange. I have learned real quick avoid conversations with males unless the wife is right there. In fact going to avoid parties with older friends, because I have observed these strange behaviors in one or the other. They're are only a few that aren't threatened. It was a shock, they new us for years. and now they are threatened. The hurt ------fuck- Mods don't get your hairs up, it's in the lexicon for many years i.e. Merriam. It's as legal as all the other thousands of words in Merriam's.
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SAS, awwwwwwww, you are now the sexy widow! What a danger you are to the other wives because you'd just love to do their husband's laundry, cleaning skid marks out of their underwear and picking their socks up off the floor so you have a full load of laundry. You desparately want to cook for them so you can eat in silence as you both watch TV! Yep, you've become every man's fantasy. A women who "needs" them in the biblical sense!!
Tell 'em to fukc o ff!!!!
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Sas-schatzi: Welcome to the loooooooonely world of celibate sisters
"The Celibate Life Lyrics by the Shins
The dust from a four-day affair is now landing
All over the floor and your brown legs
The glod plated legs of my rival
Whose eyes had no reason to fall.
You led no celibate life no skirt while chemicals danced on your head.
You stole the keys to this ride and your fables are falling tonight.
Because of your struggle to make them.
Their taste for your past time is fading
Remember the girls in the middle are always the first to fall off.
You'll learn to live like a mouse,
Searching the cracks in the floor to remember
All the dregs in the crowd you barely recall
You led no celibate life no skirt while chemicals danced on your head.
You stole the keys to this ride and your fables are falling tonight "0 -
Sportycath, I don't concider people like that Christians, if the are they don't read their bibles. Even people that say God allowed this to happen to you are wrong. Life on earth has been given to us by God but He gave us free will to live and make decisions for ourselves. I feel God is with us no matter what are choices are and will be by our side all the way, because He loves us. He doesn't punish us by giving us cancer.. That is so wrong and gives REAL Christians a bad name...
As a Christian, I have heard that in different churches and even thought about it in my younger years. I now understand that it is sooooo not true
I've only been diagnosed with cancer last week and I've already have heard, "you poor thing, are you going to die from it?" Just what I needed to hear at the time :P - NOT.
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How about "MUST BE KARMA"
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I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who has a town full of idiots..................I was told by some people.............How lucky I was that I got the "good cancer"..............or......."Gee at least its not stomach cancer, (gosh, sorry I disappointed you)..........or....."Breast cancer is nothing today"..........or............"I hear its practically curable now"..............."at least you get to pick your bra size now" (didn't have a mastectomy, but wasn't explaining that)............So there are idiots born everyday, and I guess we will just have to deal with them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but I'm prepared for the next "asshole"...................I'm just gonna say "I'm glad you feel that way "wanna trade places"............that should shut them up, or at least stop their stupid comments...............Happy Easter everyone...............
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