Worst Thing Someone Said To You?
Comments
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My comment was meant to say the the poor don't get diagnosed, only the rich people....so it was a rich person's disease. I think it's being used wrong though. Gout is the rich man's disease.
Ducky, in my yearly review I had my boss's boss mention my "health issues" the previous year. I said, I had cancer and a double mastectomy. Not a health issue!!!
Why am I not surprised I'm not promoted.....sigh.
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Hahaha, barbe, hey girlfriend................can that be called discrimination, but you must admit.................a health issue to me is a broken leg, arm, gall bladder surgery..............but cancer.......................just a little more then a "health issue", can we take him to the Bonfire.............................Heave HOOOOOOOOOOOO, he's in.............
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duckyb1, you are cracking me up.
i hate the funeral face i get when people hear stage 3 ...a good and dear friend took me to lunch and then grabbed my arm, saying mournfully, "i had NO IDEA you had STAGE THREE cancer!!" this in a local coffee shop. oh.my. i just laughed it off and said, "well, i am an overachiever, you know!"
she is a great friend. i just think most folks are clueless about cancer. they read about sheryl crow/christina applegate blah blah blah and think they're #*@(! experts.
a coworker of mine spied my "new" hair and crowed, "see? now you're a blonde! that makes it all worth it, right?!"
what.an.idiot.
rock on, ladies
xo
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Love this thread! After my surgery a few weeks ago my father in law looked at me and said,"You look better now then you did before surgery. You were sooo yellooowww before." If I could have managed it, I would have kicked him in the nuts.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel that most people are lying when they tell me that I look good. I have no hair, no eyebrows, I'm so pale, and I can't stand up straight. Ugghh! Seriously? I look good to you? I just smile and nod my head. sigh.......
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Elmcity 69., you damn over-achiever.hahaha...............are you friggin kidding me..............Ok, they are going into the Bondfire too..............burn baby burn.
1Lbick.......yea their lying.........so why don't they just shut the hell up and say nothing.....we are looking the mirror everyday.....who knows better then we, what we look like.......a friend said to me last week.........you look wonderful",,,,,,I said, and you need a fuck--g optomotrist........haven't heard from here since...........
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After my mastectomy my sister-in-law sent me a big teddy bear in the mail with a happy face and a ribbon that said "Get Well Soon!!!
"Like I had a cold. She never called me once. Maybe SHE was afraid of catching it. Moron.
Janice
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Oh Lord....................get well soon....................ok she's going into the Bonfire too, get well soon.............................she is a moron.......How soon would she like, after biopsy, surgery, chemo, rads, hormone therapy...........give me a break...................
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OK, here's mine. I had aa BMX four days ago, and my sister just called and asked if I was all thin and chic now.
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Hope you don't mind alexandria58, but I just recommended your sister for the Bonfire too.
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Try being called a "drama queen" by the triage RN and all of the other RNs laughing it up evertime you had chemo. I am hypersensitive - I cannot take any pain.
Chemo was awful for me ( I just finished my last Taxol treatement 3/21/11.) I dreaded going to chemo and it really hurt my feelings.
She would not give me a handi-cap parking pass because she said "only elderly people deserve a parking pass. you're young you can walk. elderly people have no one." When I thought about it, elderlly people usually have a kid or someone from a church, seniors organnization or medicare to take them around. I HAD NO ONE and STILL HAD 2 KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF!!
And she always had this plastered smile on her face, especially when she knew she was being nasty.
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Belle- I'm a nurse and i have found out over 40 + years That nurses can be kind to each other or they can be really bitches. What has always baffled me was the bitches. WHY? why be unkind and just as you said you could see it in her face. Where was the committment to honor her oath when she reached the pinning ceremony or graduation. I am so sorry that you have to experienced such a devil. I have been there and have no clue why. Everything we hold dear in our hearts as nurses is challanged to our core with these awful awful people. The best I can say is go to HR. But when I did that, they would say everyone knows you and X don't get along... DUH what are you supposed to do with that.
Transfer as fast as you can. The best thing I did was quit.
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bellephoenix
We laugh alot here at how thick people are, but that is horrible, inexcusable. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I thought it couldn't get much worse than sitting in a chemo chair weak and bald surrounded by people who look like they may have died right there next to you, but being laughed at would literally be like sitting in hell. Roast her in the bonfire like a marshmallow.
ps I walked like a 100 year old during chemo and for a good 6 months after and I had neuropathy in my feet. I'm not quite sure what would qualify a person for handicap status if chemo doesn't. Sheesh!!!! Janice
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I had an male friend tell me his sister was diagnoised with breast cancer ten years ago. And he went on to tell me that his sister was told she was cancer free after her treatment. A few months later his sister devoloped a cough. Two months later she passed away from lung cancer....her cancer had spread and the doctors completely missed it. He made this comment to me when I was very fragile. Newly diagnoised and scared to death. I will never forget it. How can people be so insensitive?
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A lot of you make a good point about it sometimes being what people DON'T say. Both my cousin and sister (half sister) emailed me awhile back and I told them I was having a mastectomy in a few days. Never heard from either of them again.
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Bella I cannot believe how people can be but this lady should never be in that field I would report her you will save the next person from going through this its just awful my nurses were wonderful and it takes a special person to be in that area of nursing she is not it....call the ong. and report it for sure when you see your bill and what she gets paid from it and to act like this I am so mad...I hated where I had chemo because in the same area was the break room and all the people that worked there came walking through your hooked up to poision and they are just laughing and caring on with thier co workers of what up for the weekend when I spent my laying down and not feeling well they need a wall there as far as I am concerned it was dumb building ..
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I have had very few if any moronic remarks, and I am sorry for the members here that have had people say things that made you feel badly (or pissed, or sad).
But my experience with an idiot came before my BMX in January. An acquaintance - let's call her Caryl - is in a certain club I am in, and she has always annoyed me. She's very competitive, in a passive aggressive way.
She's in another club I'm in - the club we are all in on this forum - and called me when she found out I had tumors in one breast and lymph nodes. I hesitated to call her back, but truly, so many people have been kind and supportive, I did not want to ignore her voice mail.
So I called her. And part of the conversation went like this:
Carly: So where is your cancer? What will your surgery be?
I told her.
Caryl: Oh, I only had it in my breast. And I had a lumpectomy. What kind of tumor is it?
I told her.
Caryl: Oh, my surgeon said I had the best kind of tumor! He said it was the best and easiest to remove. How long will your recovery be?
This was a sore spot for me, because I had no idea. People on this board had such a wide range of experiences, I could in no way know how long. So I said: Well, from what I hear it could be 4 - 8 weeks.
Caryl: Oh, I recovered in three days.
?????? I thanked her for her concern, admired her cancer and her strength and got off the phone.
When well-meaning people tell me they have a sister, cousin, friend, etc. who had BC and recovered, I tell them, "I hear that alot, but no one ever tells me about the people who died."
I know, that is bitchy, but I say it in a humorous way.
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Hey Sofiekatz I have a one-up relative that sounds just like your Caryl. It takes a special grace to not toss that one in a personal Bonfire! As a matter of fact, I hope she doesn't come up missing. HaHa! My best one yet was a phone call from a dear young woman I used to work with, I told her my diagnosis and she said, "oh I'm shocked, I don't know what to say" then I got -click. She just hung up! That was 3 weeks ago, poor dear. Maybe because our other good friend and co-worker lost her battle and it was just too much for her to know about me. Bless her heart.
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This one is even better honestly I cannot believe people when I was first told I had BC I called my friend who worked at my GP office and told her and I was crying and she said I dont know what to say I have never dealt with anyone with cancer I said you work in a doctors office and she said oh yes but we dont see them after they are told Ok where do they go HELL I was so mad and she to this day 3 years later ducks me in stores etc not that I would talk to her and I also told the doctor about her attiude she works at the hosp. now if I see her there I will insist on not having her near me ...
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Can I join in?
The scene: post op day one in the surgical ICU. Me, awake in bed, complete with arterial line, IV, blood transfusions.
A team of doctors, none of whom I know, walk in. No one introduces themselves but one of them comes to the bedside, unsnaps my gown, pulls it down to my abdomen and then steps back.
The senior resident, who I don't know says "we have twins". they all look, nod, then one of them steps to the bedside again, flips my gown back up but doesn't snap it and then they all file out of the room (this is a group of 5 or 6 people mind you).
On the way out the door the last one says, "by the way, we are the plastic surgery team"
What I did was nothing. What I should have said was "I cut my breasts off not my head - I did just hear all that!"
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CandDsMom,
I'm speechless, too. So sorry you had to experience that.
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I am appalled! How incredibly rude........and I would definitely call the head of the hospital and complain about that "surgery team"! They need to learn bedside manners!
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I did complain afterwards. I just wish I would have spoken up at the time. I think I just felt like I needed to be extra nice and thankful to them in a sense as I had just had surgery to remove the cancer?
I know, crazy right? I really wish I had the nerve to say something to the "twins" guy. I found out later he was actually the chief resident and is now in practice with my terrible first PS. yuk!
Glad I switched to a new kind caring PS who knows what he is doing!
thanks for the nice words/wishes though.
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CandsMom, I know what you mean about feeling like you have to be polite. I thought it was just a Canadian thing....
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I was at a professional conference for the past few days and saw people who I hadn't seem in a while. Several people asked me "so how is your health now?". To which I responded, " the same as yours". They don't get it. Either you are ok or not ok. Do they really believe anyone knows. I mean really - either you are ok or not ok. If I was not ok, would I be here at this conference? Stupidity
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Hrf----you are ssssssssssooooooooo right -------cluclk'em
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I just read the last few pages here. Amazing...especially the cruel chemo nurses and the break room right next to chemo room, the creepy "friends" and reletives. Reminded me of something not BC related but rude nurse related.
In '96 I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Hoping to get out of that hospital asap I asked the RN for a suppository so I could have a BM. She brought it in to me, slapped it on the bedside table with her fake long red fingernails and said "so what do you want me to do with it"? I was so shocked (not only by her fingernails) but by her attitude. I said, I will put it in myself, thank you. That was the only time I saw that RN.
I did not choose that hospital for BC treatment.
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BJ 50-----Life ---we always think of the right response when after the fact the absurdity strikes us---Appropriate response up your ass or up your nose------since you have shit for brains
BTW------artificial nails have been outlawed in healthcare facilities for most of the last decade. The research on the bugs associated with them came out around 98. I'm talking bad nasty bacteria. They- bacteria- get lodged between the real and fake nail. But it wasn't until middle decade that special policies were written re: nails and that was because Joint Commision on Hospital Accreditation _JCAHO got involved. No nail polish whatsoever and real nails should be no longer than 1/4 inch.
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DianeDiane: Amazing how many attorneys are stupid. (I'm one, too, btw.)
I also don't understand people saying that we should be grateful that it isn't something worse. But it is such a ridiculous comment, as if we don't have a right to feel bad about whatever we've gone through - unless it's the absolute ultimate in horror: having stage IV in a concentration camp during Katrina. While giving birth. In which case, we'd be allowed to feel bad.
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Sorry, had to bring up Katrina.... When I had my first round of chemo, TAC x 6 back in 2005, Katrina hit during during one of my treatments. To this day, I still get queasy hearing about the hurricane. It was devastating for people who lived thru it but I have my own personal nightmares about it. I remember lying in bed watching the news coverage. My DH cannot understand how it still makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
And, then there were the ice cubes my nurse made me eat during taxotere. I still can't eat an ice cube or be around anyone who is, it makes me sick. Again, DH cannot understand how it still makes me sick.0 -
They say...."oh, at least it's over now for you". They don't get that I will worry about it for the rest of my life. I will go on and live my life, but the worry of it spreading will always be there.
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