Worst Thing Someone Said To You?
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CrawfordsMommy - Before DX, I was a healthy, half way decent looking 43 year old women. I had a career and was in what I felt was on my way to being in the best shape of my life.
Then the bomb went off and F@!# ME! I did NOT and could NOT work through chemo. Really??? F@!# That! There were days when I couldn't get out of bed. Between doctors appointments, lab appointments, actual chemo infusions, blood transfusions and all of the other bullshit - NO F@!#ing WAY I WAS GOING TO WORK!!!
I would never wish this shit on anyone....but there are times and there are people that I look at with there stupid comments and I just think....hmmmm....hope you don't end up like me!!! I never thought I would end up like me...so it can happen to anyone!!!
IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!! (UGH!!!!!!)
BTW...I'm thinking about changing my profie pic to reflect who I am now (I look like you!) The person in my profile pic no longer exists.
Maryann
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Bonnie110 - I'm sorry about your mom. I'm also sorry that your brother doesn't seem to understand what you are going through.
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I did it! Changed my profie pic! Now we all look alike!
Maryann
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Maryann, I feel you and hear you. Bonnie so sorry about your mom and your insensitive brother.
I look at some people and think wow a year ago that was me, and now look at me. I limp, have this crazy hair, so many things.
A lady said to me that I look good considering. Considering what? and what does that mean?
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A "fellow" (aka visiting Doctor) said that with my staging ( 2A), I "hardly even have cancer". I went WHAT???? Are you kidding me? That's like hardly being pregnant. I was quite annoyed.
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Once my onc wasn't available for my checkup and I got another woman who, when I pulled off the gown said "Wasn't that a bit extreme?" when she saw my flat chest. Nope, I said, and kept smiling.... She had no idea of my history.
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"With radiation I just assumed you were too sick to attend."
(This after my best high school friends posted pics on FB saying "Last get together of summer!" when I was going through surgery after chemo and recently radiation and hadn't been invited to any of them or even called to see how I was doing)
And then saying......
"Life is not easy for all of us. I have things going on with me that are not easy either."
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Hanley50 - I hear ya!!! I was 45, looking and feeling great, living a healthy lifestyle and in great shape, doing that whole self-improvement thing... then up pops that stupid lump... now I'm lazy, bald, outta shape and poor! I was like, "Really? Breast cancer? Is this some kind of joke- Do I have to do all this treatment crap NOW?" I have been useless and unable to work throughout most of my treatment. It affects us all differently. I've definitely had long strings of "not EVEN getting out of bed" days. I will definitely be more sympathetic to anyone with cancer in the future... I feel like I got off light only being stage 2A (at least thus far; I'm fully aware that anyone ANYONE can have a recurrence at any time)... oh, and now it's October! Had someone ask me at the register yesterday if I wanted to donate to breast cancer awareness! I shot her a pointed look and said I'm plenty aware of BC thank you very much!
Some days I look at my driver's license picture (good complexion, pretty hair, actual eyebrows, confident smile, no weird steroid bloating or sunken cheeks, etc.) and I just want to CRY. It was taken 1 month before diagnosis and I looked like a totally different person than I do now. Chemo wrecked my face and I'm disgusted to look at myself in the mirror right now.
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I was at a dinner party, while I was going through chemo..so I barely dragged myself there. One guest told a joke and the punchline was "at least you don't have cancer". I was sitting right next to him. Nobody laughed, but nobody called him in it either.
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btw, to you beautiful ladies with no hair right now. See my pic? That's my real hair. It took years, but it cameback. Hang in there.
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I'm having trouble choosing which one of the worse things that were said to me about my cancer. I really only had two people say bad things and it was the week after diagnosis - My brother-in-law said "can you talk about anything but cancer" and his daughter my niece said "you aren't the first person to have cancer" I won't go into what they and their wife/mom, my sister had to say when I finally had the strength to confront them. Needless to say haven't seen or talked to them in 5 yrs...
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This is just total crap how y'all are being treated...remove those people from your life, if you can, at least while you are dealing with cancer.
I have had several health issues prior to this disease...and you never can really tell if someone is a genuine friend until something like this happens. I heard of backstabbing behind my back within a women's club of which I was a causal member, joined to meet new people in the town, play bridge, etc. Said nothing to them about my knowledge of said rumors..... but when their health took a turn for the worse....well, my higher spiritual self decided the "Hell with it" and returned the favor the first chance that I got! Told them all they did was talk about "their" health issues and that it made plenty of people "uncomfortable hearing about it all the time" suffice it to say they problems were not cancer
Oh well, what goes around, comes back around! I had several gals tell me " Too- shay!" Well deserved!
Not proud of myself, but sometimes you just need to teach someone a life-lesson😎😛
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It's what they didn't say. After two years of living with this diagnosis, I finally came out to my coworkers, in honor of "Breast Cancer Awareness" month - and in case I have to go out on sick leave later.
Only two of these people I've known for years even spoke to me about it afterwards. Everyone else looks at me (or doesn't look at me) like I'm already dead. Whatever.
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Some of these comments are horrible! Have you picked out a casket yet?
I have only told a few people about my RX (DCIS) stage 0. Lumpectomy and RADS.
I was afraid I would get those puppy dog looks. I don't want any pity. No horrible comments at all. Sometimes telling less people is a good way to go
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I just finished all treatment in August, have some side effects etc. Got the all clear from my MO, and to live life. Had someone ask me how long I have? I asked for what? then they looked really stupid. Can you imagine?
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Costco used to sell this thing a few years ago, and you can still buy it online. I couldn't believe my eyes. This might be one of the worst things someone has (sort of) said to any of us:
"You would appreciate having your mortal remains in a container decorated with the commercialized symbol of the disease that killed you." Unbelievable.
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sbelizabeth, that's astounding!
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"if you don't leave right now, you will need one of those things for your remains when Karma kills you for making such a rude, insensitive statement". I think that would have been the gist of my reply
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"if you don't leave right now, you will need one of those things for your remains when Karma kills you for making such a rude, insensitive statement". I think that would have been the gist of my reply
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I'm currently doing the 5 year maintenance plan (hardcore hormone therapy). I always get the "well you look normal now" comment. Geez, thanks - I think. So I was abnormal before? While touching my hair "oh it feels like hair not after cancer hair". What exactly is after cancer hair???? "Soooo you are going to live after all?" I'm sorry to disappoint you, but YES!!!!
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Not a single comment, but I hate it when people find out and then want to tell me all about their friend/relative that died from it. Not helpful in the morale department.
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my good friend asked me if I was giving off radiation and if it was going to be in her house now. ugh
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I had long hair when I was diagnosed, and I got it cut very short right before I started chemo to make it less traumatic when it started to fall out (although getting it cut was a trauma in itself). Anyhow, the short cut looked cute, but it didn't feel like me. Two days before Christmas, the hair loss had gotten bad enough that I shaved my head and switched to my wig, which essentially looks just like my hair did before I cut it. Still, I wasn't used to wearing the wig and very new at styling it and was really self conscious.
When I walked into my in-laws' house on Christmas, my mother-in-law said she was disappointed that I had the wig instead of the short hair because the short hair had looked so cute in the pictures and had really suited me.
OK, so not as bad as some of the stuff I've read on here, but still. Really??
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My mother in law has to inform me that my husband's cousin died from breast cancer and she was much younger than me and for me not to worry after I am gone she will take care of my family for me.
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Dear lip, can’t think of a thing to say to that except plain old Shut the F up
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Llup- what is wrong with people? smh
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not really sure what's wrong with ppl or what we called a friend. Use to b best friend was there for me when my fiancé had a stoke. So much that I had to tell her go home I wld be okay. A year later, I told her I had cancer. She hasnt been by to even talk.. one day she randomly text..She told me about others that had been though the fight of cancer, that it would be hard and than asked to borrow my kayaks since she figured I wldnt be using them. Maybe she can't deal with this, but I have to and it's without her.
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I had a relative text me to be put on my "rah, rah team". I never heard from her again. I'm not sure what she thought I was cheering about.
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I just really hate when people try to relate to me and compare me to their grandma or mother who are usually 35+ years older than me and diagnosed with BC.
I remind them
What I would give to have not heard the words you have cancer for another 30 years..
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wish there was a like button, LoveMy3Kids!
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