TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

newvickie

(((Brenda)))...it couldn't have been said better.
Sisters forever we all are.

silvergirl9114

Brenda---So eloquent. Thank you.

NS---THEY?!?

socallisa

I just wanted to input something on CURE magazine that Nicki mentioned. Both my husband and I are cancer survivors..me bc, him prostate...and we went to a Cure magazine seminar here in San Diego a few weeks ago..It was really worth our time. They had wonderful speakers and break out groups.They have them in various cities so if one comes close to you check it out..
I checked out Curves today..I really need to get busy on that "issue"...
Hope we all have a good campfire this weekend..I will bring the s'mores again..
Hugs all around, Lisa

beth1225

Post deleted by Melissa & Tami

snowmen_n_thongs

good evening ladies!

just got home we went to watch my oldest (she is 15) in a drama play at school... it was pretty good...we had a blast!
cold still today and the roads are pretty slick so i am not looking forward to morning as i have to be at work again for 7 am... after work today there was a head on collision outside of my work... scary stuff forsure!
well i am off to beddie byes morning comes to fast!!!
night ladies

[image]http://[/image]


tracey

b445

The title is "A Woman's Decision: Breast Cancer, Treatment and Reconstruction" by Karen J. Berger and John Bostwick III, MD. Published in 1984,

b445

Brenda, There are many reasons for migranes. When I was first diagonosed with them the told be to avoid cheese, chocolate and alchol! What were they NUTS! Actually most of my migranes were from my cycle. So yes most of them went away wity my cycle! Yahoo!, but alas I still get migranes from other things. Like lack of caffine! If I try to cut back on caffine I get a massive migrane. so I have to have some caffine to get through the day without a headache. For some people smells can trigger migranes or the sift changing of light and shadows, changes in weather, medication, rebound headaches, the list goes on and on. I get those too! The key is to figure out what causes most of you migranes and work on a way to deal with those things. I wouldn't wish a migrane on my worst enamy.

hope everyone that is dealing with headaches can find a way to make them go away very soon.

b445

Arlee, welcome! Glad you've popped in to let us know you a little. I do a lot of listening to others talk and I pipe in on subjects here and there. I do try to make some kind of post so I know where to start reading the next day as I can't seem to remember where I left off otherwise. This group is great. Sure we have our differences but then who doesn't. But we do try to leave the bickering outside the circle.

I pray that everyone feels welcome here. Sometimes it's not easy to understand where one is coming from but then again we don't all walk the same paths. We each walk a speerate path but some are closer than others. There are way too many that are walking nearly identical paths. But this circle is here to help us each find strength to get through another day.

It's getting late so I will trowe a few more logs on the fires of hope, friendship and strength. May it light the way to a peace we are all seeking and the warmth we need to get through each day.

nosurrender

Quote:

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Tonight I learned something. I learned that no matter how hard you try it does not work. i don't want to bring any bad stuff in here. But if juvenile is what you all want then juvenile you'll get. If Nicki doesn't believe about the book, well too bad. I am battling monsters of my own. And it is because of bc. I would not be here if it was some other cancer. Sorry I stumbled into the wrong place.

I have made some friends here so don't ostracize them because of me. You would think I was physically attacking someone. i came here for help and to learn from others who have come before me. So many words of wisdom and compassion. But only if you have had cancer. If you are trying to avoid it that doesn't count. Maybe i will get it maybe with all the surgeries and the drugs i will ttake will beat it and maybe I already have it somewhere.

i wish no harm to come to anyone. I wish I could rewind to that day in December that i wandered in. But you put a wall all of a sudden like I was the enemy. But I won't go away that easy. I have a right to be where I want. So hit the ignore button, say what you want, but I have rights too.

There is no hard and fast rule that says who can be here and who can't. So you throw someone out of the crafting thread because they can't sew? Or are they excluded from the recon thread because they chose not to? All I wanted was help. I got some. I also got a lot of bullshit from people. I respect the fact that you all have had bc. But respect me too and understand that I am lucky to be here at all because of another disease that you guys joke about. I do too because otherwise I fold up. Colitis had me so sick I almost died on the operating table. Because of it and my surgery from it, I lost a good size section of my colon to a tumor, treated with antibiotics for the infection and radiation to shrink it so they could take it out. I came close to wearing a colostomy bag. That's pretty hard to hide in the summer. Not being able to eat and not run to a bathroom in 10 minutes is hard when you are in astrange place. I am in a sort of remission but it flares up now and again.

I say this not for sympathy but to have some people realize that there are also bad things that happen other than bc. i have not talked about that before because i never thought it was apropriate. And we are probably going to lose our house if Larry can't get paid time off to help take care of me after surgery. So you think for one minute there are less drains or scars or emotions running because I don't have bc? I have made a decision to remove what we all believe is healthy tissue. For what? to be put down and made to feel like a piece of crap by total strangers? i could have stayed with my ex for that! Go have a pity party for whoever you want.

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Beth:
Did you come here that day in December to see if you could "upset the wagons" as you wrote once?

You were welcomed with open arms and open hearts.
You led us to believe that you had breast cancer... there was no mistaking it.
Then one day it slipped out that you don't have BC.
Ok. That is fine. We are happy for you that you do not have BC.
You have gene mutation that increases your risk of BC. I have it too. So do a lot of us.
There are many places here where you can get advice on that mutation. There is the "high risk but not diagnosed", there is the "not diagnosed but worried" and there is even a "family members" section.
You have written you have questions about recon. There is a recon forum. An entire forum for you to discuss your questions and fears about bilateral mastectomies and whether or not you are "thin" enough to have a tram. You have asked about Tamox. There is a thread for that too- "Hormones"
There is even a Moving Beyond Cancer forum. And even though you post in every forum, including Recurrance and Metastatic disease, you have chosen to "hang your hat" here.
You know what? that is fine too! But NOT if it is to taunt. And that is what you have been doing. You have been taunting and stirring up the sisters here because you know you can by virtue of the fact that you DO NOT have bc but have chosen to pretend you have or want to live in the BC world.
But why the circle? Why here?
We aren't about taunting or stirring things up. In fact, we are a haven FROM that.
I have received 6 private messages tonight from girls who are not comfortable posting here in the circle because of you. You as a person? No. Your motives. If you want to hang around in the wagon circle and you know that the fact that you were misleading us about your cancer status upset us greatly yet we still embraced you...you should at the very least give a little respect to those of us who are BATTLING THIS DISEASE.
But no.
Now you post that "there are other diseases other than bc you know" Yes. We know. We have diabetics, we have girls with heart disease, we have girls with severe arthritis, we even girls with Crohn's. And we also have Breast Cancer. Some luck huh?
Financially, some of us have been ruined by our cancer. Some have extended themselves so far financially they can't sleep at night.
We have young moms with young children with no husbands, no job and only chemo appointments scheduled.
You have no idea what each one of us has been through before this disease and since this disease. But yet you post this post about how hard this disease is on you.
WHAT disease?
When you have your bilaterals are they doing lymph node dissections? I don't think so. Good for you. Because that is the most painful part of breast surgery. And then there is the fun side effect of LE.

You see Beth, this isn't a contest. We are not competing with you over who has it worse: YOU with your BRCA+ or US with Cancer. Because women with cancer would be MORE THAN HAPPY to have YOU win that contest. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way because we win. And guess what? We don't want to win.

We want to get up every morning and NOT have to think about this and deal with it and everything that comes with it. We want to be where you are. FREE.

You want to keep putting it in our faces that you are free yet somehow have cancer too... it doesn't work that way.

So I return to my original question- why are you doing this in the wagon circle? Why are you deliberately trying to upset the women here and keep them from posting? Isn't it enough that we have cancer and mets and are stuck in miserable treatments and this is our one ray of sunshine in our days? Why do you want to take that away from us?

And why, after I asked you politely last night, are you insisting on causing discord here? Because this is the one forum that won't have any?

There are places for you to get the answers you need. If you want to craft or make ice sculptures there is plenty of places here for that.

But when you come here NOT to support but rather to disrupt I am lead to believe that you have an agenda. We don't do agendas.

we don't do discord

we don't do taunting

What DO we do? What are we about??? You don't seem to listen to me when I try to explain it to you so I will defer to a much better writer - a woman who has been there- and to me, a woman who has pretty much spelled out what we must endure as women with cancer:

NANIAM:

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I focused on all of you today. I've thought about all the states we represent as shown on the map and the countries to our north and to our south and those in far and distant lands that separate us by great oceans. We have all come together because of two words - breast cancer. We've been hit in the stomach and brought to our knees by those two little words. We've been poked and prodded, endured surgeries, drains, chemo, and radiation. We've dealt with doctors that are rushed, seen to much cancer, or we have just lost faith in their attitude and judgements. We've lost our hair, hung over commodes, burned by radiation, been given chemo dosages that were wrong and destroyed bones, marriages that fell apart, medical bills and the overwhelming financial burden that followed to enduring the pain and discomfort from AI's. I close my eyes and I see the names of those that had to hear their cancer has spread - Dear God, so many in and out of the circle. We thought we would never get upset with a bad hair day again. We struggle to find our new normal or deal again with this bad hand we have been dealt. I never wanted this; none of you ever wanted this. I have cried for all of us today for our pain, our despair,the damage or readjusting to our most intimate relationships, our constantly being on high alert. I resent all the ads that make it seem as if all this is so easy. I see us today as such strong women; walking tall, head high. We've got lots of baggage; we have good and bad days mentally and emotionally but we came here as breast cancer sisters to encourage those going through some real dark valleys. At this time I'm on the hill and not in those dark valleys but what a comfort it is to know that if I had to walk in that valley all of you would be here helping me, and any others you know on this board or in life, taking their hand, giving hugs, encouraging words and sending prayers and good wishes. I've cried for us - the scars go deep - but I've smiled too because we changed - we're not bitter nor angry, not focused on ourselves but there to help someone else deal with "I have breast cancer"

Love and blessings to all of you, to all the women who have had breast cancer. You are brave, you are strong and you are my sister.

Brenda

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Beth, THIS is what the Wagon Circle is about. NOT what you want it to be. We will not have it destroyed or disrupted nor will be permit someone to attempt to. It is too precious to us.

I implore you, if you have any compassion whatsoever, please stop. Please sell nasty someplace else. THAT IS NOT WHAT WE ARE ABOUT HERE.

Why do I have to keep asking you to stop creating unpleasantness where there is none? WHY do you continue- in the Wagon Circle of all places??

You are constantly saying you "know exactly what it is like to have cancer" if that were true, you would leave this little haven in peace and not do anything to hurt it. A woman with cancer would recognize how precious it is to a sister in this fight.

I don't know why you persist. I ask you to please stop.
We don't have time or the room for any negative energy. EVER. And this Wagon Circle is a safe haven.

Please have a little respect for those of us going through hard times.

Please.

ENOUGH.

nosurrender

tracey and alwayshope- THANK you for the pictures!!!
Deb, please don't stay away too long.
Mena, thank you for letting us know about Cheri. I would love to call her can you pm me her #?
Jeannie, "they" meaning there are three tumors.

It is late, and I really am worn out.

I love you all.
g

b445

NS, Rest and take care of yourself. I just loast a message I was sending to you but am too tired to retype it. Just know that you arfe in my prayers

nosurrender

From across the oceans and across the plains of America to countries all over the world...

May the Circle Be Unbroken

b445

I herby extend my arms to each of you, may we stand togeter in PEACE!

RoundTwoinCA

{{{{{{{{{nosurrender}}}}}}}}}

Rest well....

furballs, furballs, furballs.....

Ginney

[Deleted User]

Good Morning Everyone: Yes its Saturday morning, yes it is 5am, and yes Im awake. My body is my alarm clock. So even though I could have slept late, I didnt. I woke up and my first thought was NS and all of you. So those of you who are my friends and you all know who you are, pull up a chair. Coffee is brewing - hazelnut and regular. Cause I do so much enjoy talking with all of you.

Vickie: No results yet on the tumor markers, but ya know, this time Im just not freaking out. I feel very serene and calm inside - so I know the results are gonna be just fine. Deadwood is fantastic - but its not for everyone. Its sort of like watching Shakespear (spelling). The words they use are hard to understand, after a while ya just get it. It is very real. Represents what the it was really like back then. The language is well so many would be offended by it. But if you can get past all of that - its probably the best thing that I have seen on television for along time. I watched every episode and now I am watching them again with netflix. And each time I watch in, I see something I didnt see before. Learned the real story behind Wild Bill Hickcock and Calamity Jane. And BTW - you cracked me up with your xanax story. I took an extra one myself last night and slept like a baby.

DebC: Sometimes taking a break is good. Hope you have a wonderful week-end. And please send Connie a hug from all of us.

Jan: Captain Morgans spiced rum and Las Vegas - no those are some very good memories.

Mena: Thank you so much for the update on Cheri. I have been so very worried about her. Im not a telephone kind of girl, but will look up her address. They are getting mail arnt they? I worry cause Cheri not only is dealing with breast cancer, but she has that bad ankle too. So if any of you speak with her, please tell her "hey" from Nicki and let her know how worried we are about her.

NS: Im am just speechless. This is what the wagon circle is all about. You have been there for so many of us, now its our time to be there for you. I just cant imagine, you must feel so heartbroken. I know I would be. So you just hang out here and let us take care of you. Im taking all my energy and focusing it towards you. Fur balls, indeed is what we want to hear. Im sitting here on the confused couch and shaking my head. Im also laughing, cause the ignore button is good, but not when you all make quotes! But I am so past any negative stuff. This wagon circle is way to important to me. The friendships are binding and the love is strong. And yes, I feel a sense of peace. My only concern now, is helping you get through this new turn of events.

Jeannie: Oh my goodness. 10 or more inches of snow! Looks like Old man winter is raising his weary head after all. The only thing I can say is thank goodness its the week-end. That will at least give them time to clean up the streets. Crocheting the squares! Cant think of a better week-end to do that, than when your snow bound. I havent started making any squares yet. I still have projects I need to finish. So for me this week-end its gonna be St. Patricks Day and Easter kleenex boxes. When Im done with those, it will be July 4th and Halloween kleenex boxes. When Im done with those, I will crochet squares. I have so much yarn around this house. Im pretty fast at crocheting. Can make a scarf and hat in one day, so I know I will catch up with all of you.

Jasmine: Oh my lord, Im laughing my arse off at the pictures. And Im laughing out loud. Its sort of strange cause all animals and husband are still sleeping, so my laughter is echoing through the house. Just confirms, I truelly am a fruit cake.

Brenda: I just read your post, and once again you brought tears to my eyes. I have been coming to bc.org for 2 years. And it is sad, so many who have had to come to our circle and endure being told they have breast cancer. Then others who thought they fought the battle, only to find out it reared its ugly head again. To all my sisters who have breast cancer -Im just sending you all a big hug. I know I couldnt have gotten through this without you.

After I got off the computer last night, my best friend called me again. She is persistent. Well I just started crying, from out of no where. Just kept telling her "Im no good, Im no good." She tried to walk me through it. I must admit, I did feel better once I got all the crying out. But then it put my husband in another whirlwind of emotions. Wanting to know why I was crying, what I was afraid of. Im sad, cause Im not me anymore. And Im trying to hard to get used to that. Guess I held in alot of emotions for a while. Well they all came out last night, and I feel better today. At least Im not crying.

Lisa: This Cure magazine is just wonderful. I feel like a little child with a new toy. They have scheduled 3 different breast cancer forums. March 17th in New York, May 12th in Denver, and June 9th in Riverside California. Im hoping they will schedule more in the Chicago area. But anyone that wants to go to one of these seminars, please pm me and I will be glad to give you all the nitty gritty information. And if you want to order the magazine this is the website. www.curetoday.com Curves sounds good. Im still trying to decide what Im gonna do - have to do something otherwise Im gonna turn into one big butter ball. I have heard lots of good things about curves. I think Im gonna combine exercise at home and go swim laps 3 times a week.

Tracey: Sounds like you had a fantastic evening. What a nice story about your daughter. And I love the cat picture. One of these days Im gonna learn how to post pictures and then all of you watch out.

We are standing together. Strong and united. We are here to support each other through this awful disease. When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer I was so scared. I found this site quite by accident. I was doing so much research back then. Once I found this site, I didnt have to look anywhere else. And I have been coming here everyday since then. No one understands how I feel except for all of you. For those of you who know me, well you know Im an honest person. I usually tell people, what you see is what you get. My mom taught me along time ago to be honest. She said if you start one lie, you will need another and another to cover your tracks until you dont know what the truth is anymore. And so my dear friends, I will always be honest with you. The circle is strong this morning. We are holding hands, arm in arm, very tightly now - for our dear NS.

So now Im getting a little hungry. Feeling like flapjacks today. Have some great Raspberry syrup that is sugar free. The door to my teepee is open to well almost everyone. Got some fresh fruit too. Getting some great fruit here in the Chicago area from Chile. So we have black cherries, raspberries, blue berries, and blackberries. All marinating in their own juices. Sounds good doesnt it.

Take care my friends.

I will check in later.

Nicki

beth1225

Post deleted by Melissa & Tami

Madison

Hi Circle Girls,

Please stay safe, warm and healthy this weekend. Dh and I will be out of town this weekend soooo, I will be thinking of each of you.

(Vickie - I will bring my needle and thread to make our afghan squares!)

HUGS, Madison

[Deleted User]

Im back again. Im so glad I have time this morning. So I did some research and came up with some wonderful information. And it took less than 30 minutes!

If you havent checked out the FORCE website, I encourage all of you to do so. What a wonderful place. There is so much information there, its truelly unbelievable. There is a whole section that just explains reconstruction. I wish I would have found this website, before my surgery. So much information and so good.

Anyways, it there is a whole list of books that they recommend you read. The 2 books that caught my eye were

..."A Woman's Decision: Breast Care, Treatments, and Reconstruction" by Karen Berger, Joh Bostwick. A statement from the book - "Today, women diagnosed with breast cancer have more and better options for treatment, preservation and reconstruction of the breast." Sounds like a good one.

..."The Breast REconstruction Guidebook" by Kathy Steligo. It describes the benefits, risks, and limitations of each reconstructive technique. The one sounds like another good one.

FORCE: Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered - you all have to check out this website, its great.

Force message boards - for those who are high risk and want to talk with others about their feelings.

Cancer "pre-vivors" It identifies those living with risk. It applies to those people who are living with risk. This is important cause they have their own unique needs and concerns separate from the general population, and different from those already diagnosed with cancer.

And there is a Previvor support section.

Just wanted to share this with everyone.

Our sisterhood bond is strong. And right now, NS needs all of us. I stand tall and strong like a Forest tree. And our circle is surrounded by many trees.

This morning I shed a tear - for all of us trying to move beyond breast cancer. For all who are facing METS and reoccurances. For those who are going through treatment. I shed a tear. I want to find the new me. I want to be strong again. I want to enjoy life again. And with the help of all of you, I know I will.

Nicki

[Deleted User]

Madison: Enjoy your week-end with your husband. Oh Im so nervous. The Saints and Da Bears. Wishing you good luck.

Nicki

Madison

Nicki,

We are going to a Mardi Gras Ball (this is south Louisiana!!) My dh is past King (and it does go to his HEAD). Anyway, we are also very nervous - Da Bears and Da Saints. Close your eyes Nicki, but I had to express mail Saints shirts to the 2 dd living out of state. Okay, you open you eyes now - . We have friends from here that are now in your windy city to go to the game. If they don't behave themselves, I'll see it on TV!!

I do also wish you luck Nicki.


I have to go dh is calling, oh, I mean the King is calling. They have a saying in this mardi gras crew - "Once a King - Always a King" . Vickie, can I use the New Years toilet for his THRONE.

And always, hugs, thoughts and prayers to all. I can't describe how my heart just grows warm and tears flow from my eyes when I read these posts and think of all of you. Thank you.


Madison

newvickie

Madison...here's a perfect golden throne!

Here I go again...swiping stuff. Who's watching my back!!
Slept in this morning and no time to read back far as I have to get the house picked up so I can spend the rest of the day CROCHETING!!!
Very cold and snowing really hard here. The wind is just howling outside so it's gonna be a stay home and hibernate day for me and Nate.
Boy...all I want to do is sleep! Its weird to suddenly be actually sleeping again. I didn't sleep for 13 months, worry and anxiety kept me up most nights and I was a walking zombie for so long. Now I got to bed around 9, hit the pillow and I swear I don't fall asleep, I pass out! Sleep all night and actually overslept yesterday morning which I never do. I have to say, it feels pretty good!! Maybe I'm catching up from the past year of no sleep.
Gotta cook some breakfast for my little guy and I'll come back and play catch up.
Love you sisters...one and all
Vickie

[Deleted User]

Ahahahaha here we go again. Madison and Vickie running from the toilet police! A golden seat for the King!

OK, I gotta go - time to work on my newest project. Have a wonderful morning - everyone.

Nicki

snowmen_n_thongs

good morning ladies...
yay its my friday!!!!!!!!!!
if anyone see's my toliet please let me know... you will know if you sit on it!!! hahahahaha

[image]http://[/image]




tracey

jasmine

Thongs...looks like yu's a little behind on some of that housework! ROFL!

Sandra1957

NS and Brenda - WOW!! I have tears in my eyes. You two are so profound and articulate. Thank you.

lini

[Deleted User]

Thongs: Ouch is right. Ahahahahahah great pic. Bet the toilet police dont go chasing you for stealing that one.

Lini: It brought tears to my eyes too.

Nicki

[Deleted User]

I was just making my bed and had this overwhelming need to come here. Thinking about NS and Robbie.

Hope you two are hanging in there. We have a nice comfortable place for you in the middle of the circle.

Hugs

Now I gotta go. Husband is making breakfast, but my job is the eggs. Gonna be fried over medium.

newvickie

Tracey...oh my...if the toilet police come after me I'm sending them to that toilet!!!
Hi Lini...how is sunny California. It is miserable here today...freezing cold, blowing, snowing...ewww.

sherloc

Hope everything comes out all right????
O Dear Me!!!!
hahahahhahahahhahahahahah

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Hey CG's...
Once again, as I've said before...stay united and take care of one another...the rest is bs...Mena...xor

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Indeed.
Gonna be hanging out in the hoochie tent till this storm has passed. Love you all to bits.

Sandra1957

Hi Vickie - It's been cold. Still wearing my toesies. Love ya girl. I'm still hanging out at the Circle Spa. I'm down 8 pounds. WooHoo!! 10 to go.

Love to all!!!