TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

PuppyFive

GG'S, I got a phone call from Susan!! she is and has been without power and water, for a long time! she does have a generator. but can't leave the house for long to go eat, because of theft around the town!!!! she does not have MONO!!! her father is sick, and she may have to fly up to St. Louis!!! she got a call from cheri123, but her husband talked to her and he did not get a phone # if anyone has it please call her, and tell her susan could not call back to check on her!!! My Lord she has to go to the Spa, and take a shower, and YET Another storm is on the way!!!! Please Pray!!! Puppy

LauraB

Dang...lost my post and it wasn't that long!

Not too much new...'cept when I got home last night he says "I have something to talk about". Hmmmm, I'm thinking. He says "it's not a done deal, but I may be getting a new truck". WTF?!?!??!?!

He explained he went to the dealer with a promo piece he received, had looked up BlueBook on his '99 Silverado, and negotiated $10K off a '07 Silverado (from fall '06 that they're anxious to move off the lot)...all in all, it supposedly is only $150mth with 0% financing for 5 years.

Granted, his truck has nickle-and-dimed him the last couple of years, and it's been paid off for almost 3....but WTF is he thinking incuring sole debt if he wants a divorce?!

I'm not about to talk him out of it....if this ain't a sign of a mid-life crisis, geez, what is!?! I don't see how he can afford to divorce me!

LauraB

silvergirl9114

Beth---
Nipples are done after the new breasts have had time to heal and "settle" so you don't have to make your mind up about that right away. My delayed recon was done in November/05 and I am just now doing the nipple thing. Didn't think it was all that important until I had revisions and thought, "oh what the heck". Came home and thought, "yup, that makes me feel finished." But every one is different----just know you don't have to make that choice right now!

Jeannie

AlaskaDeb

I’m so relieved that Susan is OK! Thanks so much for passing on the news Puppy

NS - Praying for you. We are right there holding your hand. Can you feel the love?

MB – I love camping…even winter camping

Jeannie – Glad the nip nip seems to be sticking! I’m looking forward to hearing more on a possible visit!!

Peggy – Enjoy the snow. I love it too. There is something so magical about watching the snow. It makes me act like a little kid.

Yikes! I have to get my chickens fed and get to work.

Love ya all
Deb C

beth1225

Oh Jeannie. I am so glad you posted today! I was getting the impression from that stupid book the ps office had me get (good thing the library had a copy!) that you have to make these decisions ahead of time. Last time I take a book for the absolute word. Okay, I am fine now. I may just get tatoos anyway. Who needs headlights on all the time?!

snowmen_n_thongs

lol peggy just heard on the news yep your going to get some snow alright!!!! break out your winter panties!!!
i dont winter camp either but i love to camp in summer!!!
i dont do igloos well

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glad to hear susan is doing ok...
tracey

texas78343

Good afternoon my friends.
Heres my up date. Went in to see surgeon yesterday he said "thanks for coming in see you again on Friday" well dang !! He had told me before surgery that he might have to do a skin graft on my breast, but he didn't, he did get me back together but has been worried if my skin would take all the stress, guess he really had to to work to get my skin to stretch. Guess thats why I was in the hospital for 3 days. Did get my path report good thing I went with a complete Mast. they found other cancer cells in the breast tissue, he took 11 nodes and 10 of the 11 came back positive. The size of my mass was 8cm. we had thought it was 5cm . So I guess I'm stage llla I'll know more about that when I see my ong. on the 24. Looks like I'll have the drains for another week. I get tired easy but other then that hanging in ok. He doesn't want me to much with my right arm yet, and I had been working with it thought I was doing good.
Hoping ya'll are staying warm by the fires. I check in again in a few days. Thanks again for all the love and warmth it was needed and felt. It'll be party time soon and I'm gonna be at the head of the line..lol

--

neesie

Karen,
Just reading your post. Glad to hear about your consult. with gyn. I am definitely having the same problems. No libido and dry as the desert! Also, I was interested in the surgery for Carpal Tunnel. I've been dx'd with Tendenitis........since I've been on these beast pills. Two cortosone shots..they last a few months and then it's back. Ortho wants to do surgery, but like you I'm hesitant because it's on the same side as surgery. Also, I really don't cherish the thought of more surgery, but the pain is unreal at times! Good luck and keep me posted . Denise

[Deleted User]

Good Evening Everyone. Sometimes Im just tired. Tired of all of this. Having breast cancer, having chemo, and one year later still not feeling well. I have come to accept I have good days and bad days. I dont understand why. I should be good - all the time now. I came home from work, crawled into bed. Had a dull headache and slight nausea all day. Tired of pretending to be "feeling great." So thats my story for the night.

Tracey: your picture was great. It made me smile.

I know I read that our poor Susan and Cheri still have not pulled out from the effects of the ice storm last week. Thank you puppy for updating us. I was really worried.

Robbie: I just want to take you and hug you. It was a big day for you. Getting all that medical information can be overwhelming. We have you in the middle of the circle. Im sure as things sink in you are gonna have questions and thats what we are here for. To help you and support you. Im so glad you found us.

Thats it amigos. Im going back to bed.

Nicki

beth1225

Nicki,
I am going to reply to you here on the Forum because I think we need to Move Beyond this. I have not personally had bc. I have shared being caregiver with my mom for my dad who had bc. I stumbled in here for some reason back in December. I guess I saw a thread that i thought would give support. Yes, i would get more info from FORCE. And I have. I have not "walked the walk" and I do not mean any disrespect by participating here. I get more information and answers from people here both in and outside the website than I do from High Risk. The wone there are still asking questions and we go over the same thing all the time. Well, I am 'moving beyond' that and now have no real place to park myself. I told it like it was when I first peeked in here. Obviously, some people are having difficulty with my situation. Well so am I. I am going through the Tamoxifen and surgeries as if I did have bc. The only thing I am not getting is chemo and rads. Just because bc has not hit me does not mean my mast is going to feel different. My ooph went the same way as others have. The Tamoxifen will react with me much the same as it has women and men who have taken it and they do have bc. So why can't I be here to glean experience from those who have tread this path before me. If you and the others cannot understand this then I am truly sorry. I thought I would get support here as well but if not, that is what the ignore button is for. I am not here to mock anyone or stir things up. Apparently, there are not too many in my situation. Maybe the moderators need to make a new Forum I will forward this post in a PM to them and see what happens.

In the meantime, all things being equal, i will jsut post when the i need to.

newvickie

No time to read the post...have to get crocheting and relax...long day at work!!
I did notice that MB is talking about a camping party at her house...WARNING...IT IS FREAKING COLD HERE!!! Geez MB...are ya tryin to kill us LOL. Are you going to build an igloo. I actually aways wanted to try that. My boss and his boy scout troop built and igloo and camped for a weekend and he said they stayed really warm. My luck it would cave in on me.
Hugs to you Robbie...hang in there we are with you.
Hoping Susan and Cheri are safe...thanks for the update Puppy...your a doll.
Down in the dumps tonight...no good reason to be...just the way it is so I'm gonna go to the hoochie tent and see who I can pick on LOL.
Love ya all...no time to take notes.
Vickie

newvickie

Oh one more thing...
NS...where are you? I'm in the hoochie tent thinking of you and wondering how things went today.
Puppy is still decorating the fruitcake tent...maybe that's where I need to be LOL.
I was going to post some funny pics but photobucket is down for maintenance...darn.
I STILL HAVE MY TREE UP...CRAZY ME...ANYONE ELSE?

beth1225

Vickie,
When I checked for the mail, there was a letter stuck in the door form an anonymous neighbor who wanted to know when we were taking down our lights. Our tree and ornaments are still up. DH and I have and agreement: he puts up and takes down the Christmas stuff and I do the Hanukah ones. Well, he has the harder job but I also do the Halloween and Valentines decor. he gets St. Patty's Day since he is part Irish (somewhere) and I get Spring. We both do the garden together outside. Then it all starts over again.

I thought there were more of us who still had the tree up? Where are you?? I will help Puppy in the fruitcake tent tonight and will bring along the crocheting. Can't visit the hoochie tent until Saturday night when I know I can sleep in the next day.

christineK

I have to go back and read about 189 posts, but I am laughing right now watching Scrubs, the musical. The song about "poo" cracked me up. We all have dealt with medical issues and they are putting it to music. I am happy to watch something light. Those 2 boys found in MO, on Oprah today were about 15 mins from me and that is all that is on the news and during every update. It make me sad to think about what they have gone thru. Prayers for Shawn and Ben, please.

TheShopMama

Wow! You ladies are so busy and keep up with all of this too! My head is spinning from trying to go back and catch the posts I have missed the last couple of days. My tv interview yesterday morning lasted about 30 minutes and it was fun and I actually remembered important facts I had gleaned from some cancer websites. Our turnout for the relay kickoff tonight was tremendous. We already have 5 more teams signed up than last year (this is a small town). I am honored to be publicity chair for such a cool thing. My visit to my surgeon (just another 3 month check up) was good yesterday (even though he told me I need to lose weight). My sister asked if he had to have a medical degree to figure that out. We both laughed because we KNOW we need to lose weight. It is the doing it that we are having problems with. He also told me some words I am having trouble digesting... but loving chewing on them. "You are cancer free." Another doctor told me "once you have breast cancer you always have it." I am superstitious and it frightens me cos the way my life has been, I am afraid he will jinx me! But at the relay meeting tonight we watched a video of other survivors doing the walk.... and I felt guilty. Why should I be cancer free? My mama was cancer free for 21 years and then she had colon cancer again and died. Are we ever REALLY cancer free? I am pleased of course, but wish my youngest son were here to know it. I guess he could know it now in heaven. I hope he does. I was able to talk about him tonight in my speech at the kickoff. I don't want people to die from cancer. I think often of Fighter Lu... she was so inspirational to me... so strong. I miss her. Can somebody please direct me back to where I got that hot chocolate from the other night? Sweet dreams... pam

AlaskaDeb

Oh Pam...life is bitter-sweet isn't it? I am SO happy you are CANCER FREE. I'm sure your boy heard you speaking and knows you are well.

I've got your hot cocoa ready down by the fire. COme sit a spell.

Hugs,
Deb C.

AlaskaDeb

OK…here I go again, sticking my nose in the middle of something that doesn’t concern me…but what the heck, I do it all the time, so it’s nothing new.

I think one of the hardest things for me to get past when I discuss my cancer with other people who have cancer is the natural instinct to play “my cancer is worse than your cancer”. We always pull out our stats…I’m stage 3C, 27 of 32 nodes positive, blah blahblah ad infinitum.

It is almost like when I had babies and all the ladies would sit around and play, my baby is smarter, or bigger or has more hair than your baby….

I know I should feel compassion for all cancer warriors, but I have to admit to a small, bitter little voice that just won’t shut up. I have a hard time relating to someone who has DCIS…That small evil voice compares their situation to mine and, maybe out of envy, I dismiss their cancer experience as “not as bad as mine”.

Does that mean that that person doesn’t live in fear of cancer or have valid symptoms and side effects from their treatment? No.

Does it mean that I need to work on being more inclusive?…probably.

Does it mean that she might have a better conversation with someone whose diagnosis more closely matches hers? Maybe so.

Do I think it is MY problem, not hers? Yes, definitely.

I think that may be why there are so many different “subdivisions” in this site. I have a general idea what any women’s experience with cancer might be like, but I have a better idea the closer that woman’s experience matches my own.

Beth, I will be totally honest here (it is something I have promised myself I would try harder to do since my treatment. Life is too short for anything less) I DO have a hard time understanding your situation. That does not devalue your fear or your need to gather information, nor do I think it means you shouldn’t be here. I just can not relate as closely to your experience as I can to some of the other gals. Because I have not had reconstruction I have not really had much to add or contribute to you recent questions. I will even admit to a few moments of wishing I were in your shoes instead of mine. You have a chance to do something BEFORE you get cancer. I wish I had that opportunity, so once again my envy rears its ugly head.

All that being said, I certainly hope you don’t quit coming here. I have enjoyed your posts about things we do have in common, a love of crafts, a belief in prayer, and our families. I also think it is good for me to work on that little voice and tell it to shut up some times.

If we try, I think we can all understand that no mater what, we are all sisters. Not all of us will spend as much time talking to each person here. I will naturally “chat” more with the people I have learned to know and love over time. That doesn’t mean anyone should feel excluded. It is just the way the world works.

As always, this is just my humble opinion. I don’t want to stir anything up either, but I wanted to let you know how I was feeling.

Deb C

nosurrender

Quote:

---

Nicki,
I am going to reply to you here on the Forum because I think we need to Move Beyond this. I have not personally had bc. I have shared being caregiver with my mom for my dad who had bc. I stumbled in here for some reason back in December. I guess I saw a thread that i thought would give support. Yes, i would get more info from FORCE. And I have. I have not "walked the walk" and I do not mean any disrespect by participating here. I get more information and answers from people here both in and outside the website than I do from High Risk. The wone there are still asking questions and we go over the same thing all the time. Well, I am 'moving beyond' that and now have no real place to park myself. I told it like it was when I first peeked in here. Obviously, some people are having difficulty with my situation. Well so am I. I am going through the Tamoxifen and surgeries as if I did have bc. The only thing I am not getting is chemo and rads. Just because bc has not hit me does not mean my mast is going to feel different. My ooph went the same way as others have. The Tamoxifen will react with me much the same as it has women and men who have taken it and they do have bc. So why can't I be here to glean experience from those who have tread this path before me. If you and the others cannot understand this then I am truly sorry. I thought I would get support here as well but if not, that is what the ignore button is for. I am not here to mock anyone or stir things up. Apparently, there are not too many in my situation. Maybe the moderators need to make a new Forum I will forward this post in a PM to them and see what happens.

In the meantime, all things being equal, i will jsut post when the i need to.

---

Beth, just a note about the Wagon Circle. If you have an issue with someone or you want to hash it out, please do not do so here in the circle. The Wagon Circle should be thought of as Home Plate- we are safe here- safe from cancer, from negativity and from people picking fights. It is the only rule we actually have. No negativity and no fights.

I think that Deb has answered beautifully. But that is Deb. She can put things into words like no one else.

Deb I don't know if I have ever told you this but I think you are a treasure.

I understand where Nicki is coming from and I feel very close to the same feelings both Nicki and Deb have expressed.

I will only say this once, and then I will not visit this topic again in the Wagon Circle. We are here to love and support one another. To hold each other up and to help each other through the hardest of times. We are not here to "see what we can get started" or anything of the sort. That is NOT what this was based on.

This thread started when three of our sisters were all diagnosed with mets at the same time. The women here were FREAKED OUT. You are always speaking about your fears because you are BRCA+. A lot of us have that gene mutation.
However, there is only one thing scarier than being told you HAVE CANCER- and that is told it is BACK. No matter who or how many people you have known who have had cancer, you can't know what that is like and I pray you don't ever know that horror.

And we were horrified when our sisters were diagnosed with mets. So the Circle was born to protect and care for those girls. It was also formed as a place where metsters could feel comfortable talking about their progression and where we could express our own fears left over from the battles we have all waged.

Ever since it was revealed that you do not have cancer, there have been posts scattered here and there hinting that you are not being made to feel welcome. I think you surprised everyone and it took a while for it to sink in that after all your posts you did not have cancer and yet we all misunderstood somehow. I have read those posts and their responses and still have yet to find WHERE that has occurred. What I found was that you have been welcomed in every forum you posted in- from Newly Diagnosed to Recurrance and Metastatic Disease. So please disabuse yourself of the notion that you are "not welcome", but grant those of us a little slack because we had to shift gears and make the adjustment that the woman we had been talking with for months does not have cancer after all. It is human nature for that to take a bit to sink in. For some reason, ALL of us read your posts as if they were from a woman who had been through what we had. It is understandable and please forgive us if it is a little hard to grasp at first.

But I ask you to PLEASE not start anything negative here. We are not together for that. We don't tell each other in the wagon circle to use the "ignore button"

THAT IS NOT WHAT WE ARE ABOUT. And we will not fight or have discord here. If you are upset with someone please PM them or call them out on another forum. We just won't go there in the Circle.

Your posts are welcome everywhere on BCO- INCLUDING HERE but please refrain from any fighting in the Wagon Circle. That is all we ask.

And speaking from a personal perspective, I am facing the possible return of my cancer. When I know more, and am ready to, I want to share what I am feeling with the women who have been through this- and women who have had their cancer return. That does not mean you are being excluded. It just means that you have not been to the places I need to talk about that the women who have battled the beast have been.

It is not a reflection on you, it is a reflection on me and what I need.

I have told you before that living like you already have cancer is a very bad thing to do because you are robbing yourself of precious time. Time that can be snatched away from you in the blink of an eye. I hate to see you do this to yourself and your family.

I am sure there is a small part of all of us that is envious that you do not have cancer and post here "unscathed" while we are all the walking wounded. Again, that is a reflection on us and what we have been through and NOT you.

Like Kermit, it isn't easy being us. It is hard. I pray you never, ever know how hard it is to be in our situation... So maybe you misinterpret posts written in response to you - it is only natural. I hope you can understand that.

I look forward to all your posts and wish you the best of luck when you go to see your plastic surgeon to discuss your options for a mastectomy. Thank God you have the gift of time to make the best decision for yourself and can take your time to decide what kind of procedure you want. In a lot of our cases, that decision is already made before we even are out of the biopsy. You are a very lucky woman.

nosurrender

Hi Girls,
Things didn't go too hot today.
I really am trying to absorb everything and need to talk to my docs.
I am trying to take it one step at time and trying to live in denial.

But I will tell you one funny thing- you triple negs will appreciate this- after a rough day of breast surgeons and sonos and mammos and scary news, I turned to my doctor and said
You mean I have been eating those FRIGGIN FLAXSEEDS FOR NOTHING????

Well, I thought it was funny!

BTW- I Od'd on Phish Food.
'nuf said.

Thank you for your prayers.
When I know more and am not so freaked I will try to post more.

Love you,
g

Madison

Evening All,

I have been in the medic tent, not feeling great.

Just wanted to tell everyone I am thinking of all of you and hope you are safe (the weather has been terrible) and healthy. I have many pages to read and hope to post something longer tomorrow.

Hugs and good wishes, Madison

Madison

NS,

I just saw your post. Hugs and Strength going your way.

Madison

2up

i don't post much anymore, for various reasons but i would like to expound upon one statement made by beth...........yes your possible mastectomies will be as physically painful as a cancer patients were (if you have lymph removal), but pyschologically there will be no comparison...........you have a choice, you have hope, you have warning..........most of us have been given no choice, moderate to minimal hope, and no warning, just a big fat "you have cancer" phone call!

to compare your mastectomy situation with that of any one who is actually diagnosed is rather crass, especially when several here in the circle are now dealing with advanced diagnosis...............just my 2 (unwelcomed) cents!

b445

NS, My dear NS, we are moving you to the inner circle. Didn't we tell you to stay away from the bus? Now what are we to do with you? I'm saying special prayers for you tonight.

Special prayers for Susan and Cheri, I hope you get power and water back soon. Try to stay warm!

b445

Beth, You have delt with cancer as a family member and therefore have and do feel some of the feelings we feel. There are others that are also family members going through the feelings here too. Most of us though have been told you have cancer and never got the chance you have at being proactive. I am glad you will be able to be proactive. But please don't let it consume you.

We are here to support each other at all stages of this. It's just harder some days than others.

Let's all work on ways to support and move on with living each day to the fullest!

b445

Shel, girl we've missed you. Hope you are doing ok. How's the possible move coming? We're praying for you to get the best offers.

2up

and all of that being said, how in the hell is everyone with all of this crappy weather, crappy news, and crappy follow up stuff going on?

i'm just doing the crappy divorce thing, crappy mets thing, and crappy my dog is dying thing!

i did however have a promising follow up conference call from the mariner's hospital in the keys tonight............real estate agent is coming tomorrow to appraise and possibly list my house, and i just might finally be on my way to something more condusive to my liking both personally and professionally!

i'm outta here for the weekend but will tty all on tuesday!

xo, shel

Sige

(((Shel)))

Sending you losts of energy & positive vibes...took a sleeping pill so must get off computer...having problems seeing words lol but wanted to comment to one of my favorite ladies!

Hugs,
Peggy

b445

((((Shel)))) I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Keeping you in my prayers

karen1956

Its way too late to be up and posting, but my son's best friend came over and just left 10-15 min ago. I am too wired to sleep and with insomnia as it is, no reason to go to bed if I don't feel sleepy. I finally caught up on all the posts. Now its time to respond.
NS- I am so very sorry that you are facing this beast again and suffering so much. My thoughts are with you. Please take care of yourself and keep us posted when you are up to it.
AlaskaDeb - so many of your thoughts are what I have thought and felt. You are so eloquent with your words.
Robbie - thanks for the update - hope you continue to recover nicely.
Shirley - I agree with you - why answer the same questions twice - what a waste of time and energy. good luck to you.
My visit with dd was great. Thanks for your prayers on my upcoming hand surgery. I am not nervous about it yet.
Silvergirl - glad all went well with your appt.
Nicki - how did you appt go - I knnow I read your post, but to be honest, I don't remember what you said (not good). sometimes I feel like I still have chemo brain.
Jeannie - congrats on mips - I'm stopping after the exchange surgery. since I had a double mastectomy, my sides will match (hopefully, since expanders are uneven).
Shel - I hope the move goes how you want it to. I'm sure it will be different to go from gov't medical insurance to private in the states. I've never been to the keys. folks live in s. florida.
christine K. good luck with the thyroid surgery.
Joy - will keep Kevin in my thoughts on 2/7 - you too. Joy is my given middle name, but I don't use it - when I got married started using my maiden name as middle name/initial. It is a beautiful name, but I never realized it as a child.
Tracey - glad school is going well. did you make it to your tests and how did they go? I love the sun - so glad that Denver gets over 300 days of sun year. My mood is definitely better when it is sunny out.
Peggy - welcome back - your picture is great. gread doo.
AlaskaDeb - congrats n the 8#. Thats awesome.
Vickie - cute pics.
Michelle - once done Tx, it seems like people see you looking good, so therefore you must feel good and they are not interested in hearing any complaints.
Tracey - sorry that the roctober girls didn't welcome you.
Vickie - gripe all you want. isn't that why we are here, to support one and other. I know this is my support group. I am due to see my BS in March right around time of exchange surgery and I am wondering why I need to see her. But I will probably go - just need to be sure that I do it before the surgery. I was so sick of appt by the end of 2006 that I refused to go to the doctor at all in Dec. Now it is the middle of January and I've already been 5 times due to this darn carpel tunnel. see my onc next week.
Shel - sorry your day was tough yesterday. Hope today was better.
K4Katz - hope you are feeling better.
MB - how is your dh? How are you doing?
the pictures of the NJ girls were wonderful. the quilt is absolutely gorgeous! Mena - I hope the quilt continues to keep you warm both physically as well as spiritually and emotionally.
Laura - keep hanging in there - take care of yourself and your dd Caitie.
Beth - keep visiting us. Our journeys are all different. Take what you want and leave what you don't want.

Why are some pages so wide and other normal width and easy to read?
I know i have left out several girls. I may not have mentioned you by name, but you are in my thoughts. I don't ever mean to leave anyone out. You are all so dear. My support group and a wealth of information. My prayers are with all the girls who are suffering so with new tests and possible repeat of this beast. Wishing everyone feel good days.

2up

hey ya'll..........i'm just up now to pack a weekend bag and await the real estate agent..........peggy "thanks".........you are one of my favourite ladies as well!!!!!!!!!!

here is too an emtionally pain free weekend to all........god knows i'm not gonna let this sh!t get to me for another couple of days!

NS..........i PM'D you because i always watch what i say "publically" now (which translates to i won't put my thoughts 'out there' anymore) lol!

you all are the absolute best!

peggy..........."blech, blech, blech" on the snow thing!....i dig palm trees, sunshine, and weather that does not require socks ONLY!!!!!!!

love and "talks with the man" to all............see ya'll tuesday or late monday..............xo, michelle