Weigh in: What are the best and worst gifts for people with breast cancer?
Share with us: What are your proudest moments of 2024 and personal goals for 2025?
Take our poll: How are you feeling as we near the New Year?

I WANT MY MOJO BACK!

1…108109111113114…146

Comments

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,741
    edited March 2015

    Hi all! Just popping in here to share with you the latest Sex Matters blog post.

    Sex Matters: NOJO in Your MOJO? Dealing With Sexual Predictability and Boredom, March 4, 2015

    We hope this helps!

    --The Mods

  • kar123
    kar123 Member Posts: 72
    edited March 2015

    Anyone else disappointed in the MOJO series? I was particularly disappointed in the last one. I would think that most of us have tried the suggestions that were given in the last article. We are not dummies. This statement really irked me: "Trying new things with your partner can help the sex hormones get surging again." Really?!? First, we have no sex hormones to get surging again. They have been destroyed by chemo, surgery, and hormone suppressors. Second, I don't think we really want the estrogen surging again as it almost killed us. Third, duh! Like we didn't know this in the first place. So frustrated!

  • PoohBear-61
    PoohBear-61 Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2015


    I agree 100%Kar 123

    After being on Zoladex  ( ovarian supression ) for 19 months ....I have no sex hormones surging through me .....so its not a problem of "boredom in the bedroom" ...... its chemical castration !

    If a man was placed on Zoladex for 19 months and had erectile dysfunction......he would not be told to try new positions,  or to try to find new erogenous zones like behind his knees or behind his ears....!!!!

    If the electricity gets cut off to a house ....you cannot ask people to try the light switches in the other rooms ...... "It just aint gona work "  :)

  • AlexaP
    AlexaP Member Posts: 90
    edited March 2015

    Yes, totally agree... This isn't the 50s. I think most of us were pretty creative to begin with ...lol ... and we want it back!!! At least I do...

  • alaskafurrycat
    alaskafurrycat Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2015

    Totally agree...I was most miffed reading that post ..but couldn't think of a polite reply ...I could think of a reply mind....just it might break the posting rules....

  • ang7894
    ang7894 Member Posts: 427
    edited March 2015


    Yes I agree as well. We had a sex life BEFORE cancer!!!   It either hurts or are dry now  etc... NOT THAT WE WERE BORED!!!  My husband and I where still VERY much into each other after 20 years together and lets just say toys and positions were never our problem :)   I was only 43 when diagnosed and FYI still active .     CANCER SUCKS!!!

     

  • rgiuff
    rgiuff Member Posts: 339
    edited March 2015

    I thought it was maybe just me thinking negatively or feeling sarcastic, as I read the Sex Matters series., so I'm so happy to see that others have been thinking the same way as me. As I was reading through many of the suggestions, I kept thinking, "well, I've already tried that and it didn't work" or "do some women really have to be told about this stuff?" Most of this stuff we were doing years ago. I was hoping to read something new, not the same old advice that is given out everywhere - about sex toys, erotica, lubricants, setting the scene... Nothing affected my libido and arousal like going through menopause with the loss of hormones. And then to be told no more estrogen allowed was the most devastating part of this diagnosis for me.

    Sadly, the medical community has very little to offer women in this situation except for the same old basic "Put the spark back in your marriage" type of advice, which could maybe help women who still have the electricity working in their bodies. I do wish that the research money being collected would be put towards ways of killing the cancer cells that doesn't involve depriving women of their badly needed hormones. I have used the vaginal hormones and they do help with the comfort and maybe a little with arousal, not so much the libido, and I feel that it's an important quality of life issue, so I'm willing to take the risk.

  • kar123
    kar123 Member Posts: 72
    edited March 2015

    If there isn't an answer right now, I would rather hear 'we don't know' than the old recommendations.

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700
    edited March 2015

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I almost didn't even bother coming here to read new posts, because i have been sadly dissapointed in the sex matters crap. Yeah, sex matters, and my sex life WAS great. I did light bondage, dress up, lubricants, toys, toys he made just for me, he is AWESOME. and we have been together 15 years, and i had finished menopause 6-7 years before breast cancer, and there was still no lack of desire, wetness,sheer joy, breathlessness, multiple orgasms, just.. PLAIN FUN. No more. all of that columns' suggestions are stupid, and yeah i am sure i am not the only woman who's love life suffered. That's why when I talk to someone who is curious about my case of ca, i DO tell them about the worst part: The chemical castration. Just like Alan Turing.

  • mary625
    mary625 Member Posts: 154
    edited March 2015

    Oh how I wish I even had the chance to see if things function. Mentally/emotionally, I think I'm interested

  • honeybair
    honeybair Member Posts: 234
    edited March 2015

    Sex Matters has been a huge disappointment. The male physician who writes these articles just does not get it and has offered absolutely nothing to us in my opinion.

  • kar123
    kar123 Member Posts: 72
    edited March 2015

    I left a comment on the article and it has been in "Your comment is awaiting moderation" for week.


  • Dogsneverlie
    Dogsneverlie Member Posts: 164
    edited March 2015

    Hi Everyone!!!! 

    I am happy to add that I have been on Estring since February and IT WORKED!  Got my MOJO back with no problems!!!! I would highly recommend giving it a try - I was so surprised.  I will confide though....I am nervous about removing something that has been inserted for 90 days!!!!  LOL

  • PoohBear-61
    PoohBear-61 Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2015


    Hi Dogs......

    Super Glad you got your mojo back....glad you found something that worked.

    I may just ask my Dr. about it ....cuz the rubbing behind my ears & knees just isnt DOIN IT for  me ????Winking (just poking fun at the last sexmatters article )

    So your MO gave you a prescription for the  Estring ....I guess he was not concerned about the estogene ?

    What did he or she say ..can you use this indefinitely ???? and I suppose he said it was safe for us estrogen positive gals ???

     

  • kar123
    kar123 Member Posts: 72
    edited March 2015

    Er/Pr positive here, so no estring for me.


  • ang7894
    ang7894 Member Posts: 427
    edited March 2015


    My doctor gave it to me and I am ER/PR positive. Only because I  was on tamox at the time.  However my insurance don't cover it  and it's was like 130.00 or more if I recall . I just can't afford that  all the time.

  • AlexaP
    AlexaP Member Posts: 90
    edited March 2015

    My gymn/onc told me I could have the estring but I've been putting it off. I'm going to make an appt ASAP. Thanks for the good feedback

  • kar123
    kar123 Member Posts: 72
    edited March 2015

    After a stage 3 diagnosis for me, I wouldn't chance it.

  • mtks
    mtks Member Posts: 61
    edited March 2015

    I was using estrace vaginal cream and It did nothing! I am looking into the vit E suppositories. fingers crossed!

  • chicopeach57
    chicopeach57 Member Posts: 50
    edited March 2015

    I have been using either homemade coconut oil suppositories or replens just about every night and it is helping a lot with the irritation. Still have some discomfort on entry, have discovered some angles and positions that help that. Trying to adjust to new feelings and not dwell on how it used to feel, just get into the moment and it worked! Had a REALLY good time. Was as good as before. Hope it keeps being that way. Good luck ladies.

    Loopy

    And I was truly annoyed by that article, I was like - No shit, anyone of us could have written that.

  • Allyme
    Allyme Member Posts: 117
    edited March 2015

    Ang7894,

    That is so true! I still want it so badly. I've even tried ignoring the pain as much as possible, just so I can get some! But I'm sick of feeling like a virgin everytime! We've tried some lubes, but they don't seem to last very long. It sucks having to stop to keep re-applying! Anybody found anything good and long-lasting? Thanks for any info. :)

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
    edited March 2015

    Kar123, I left a comment as well, to back you up. That article made my eyes roll about 10 times. I wonder if they tell men who have been physically or chemically castrated or who are impotent after having a prostate removed that they should just try some new stuff.

  • mtks
    mtks Member Posts: 61
    edited March 2015

    Chickopeach57 I hate sound ignorant but how are you making your coconut suppositories? S

  • Smilemaker
    Smilemaker Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2015

    My gyn suggested I try Carlson Key E natural vit E suppositories. Has coconut,palm oils and vit E. A little difficult to insert,and I only use half at a time. Use at night just before sleep. It has helped with dryness, hope with time it will help ease the pain at least a little. You can find it on Amazon.

  • mtks
    mtks Member Posts: 61
    edited March 2015

    thank I'll order them on Amazon!! Anything at this point is worth a try. Has anyone been told to try yam cream??

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700
    edited March 2015

    Never heard of yam cream. My gyno told me to try pomegranate oil , and then he said to try coconut oil. if it is kept in a cooler place, coconut kind of stiffens, and then you can scoop some out with a spoon and put it in you. Someone said that as soon as it gets warm, almost instantly, then it runs down your leg, or into a puddle on the sheets. Maybe i should just take my sleeping mat, and move it into the kitchen, near all the vegetables, fruits and oils. And, then with all these foods within easy reach, none will be safe from the greediness of my former libido...someday, they will find me there, hysterical, surrounded by bloody wilted and dried out salad.


  • AlexaP
    AlexaP Member Posts: 90
    edited March 2015

    Let the coconut oil melt and use a syringe (obviously no needle, you can get from your pharmacy) and voila homemade suppository

  • doxie
    doxie Member Posts: 700
    edited March 2015

    I became allergic to coconut oil. Tried cocoa oil and became allergic. Now I'm on to shea butter melted into olive oil at a 2:1 ratio. It's worked great for over 6 months now. I keep it in the refrigerator and scoop out 1/4 teaspoon. I'm reluctant to try OTC moisturizers because of the number of ingredients. Won't know which I become allergic to.

    I've read that water based moisturizers are less likely to cause UTIs. I've had two since using oil based, so there might be something to this, but I'm not convinced. Without giving TMI, I know the cause of the first. Have no idea while the 2nd happened.

  • macb04
    macb04 Member Posts: 756
    edited March 2015

    Hi all, I have found a couple of things that help me to have a better time, not like I did before they threw me off the cliff into menopause with the poison of chemo, but better. I bought Mountain High brand of Estriol cream, paraben free on Amazon. I am Er/Pr positive and my Naturopath said it was safe for me to use. Costs about $25 per little tub which is lasting me about 2 months. Then I read about Oxytocin and my Naturopath ordered it from the Belmar Pharmacy in Lakewood Colorado 800-525-9473. It costs about $30 for 30 tablets. It is 10 U and it disolves under my tongue. I take it about 30 to 60 minutes before sex. It is better, not like it was, but I can at least get some buzz, some mmmmM. I didn't't bother to read the to read the" sex matters" article, I just had this feeling that it would be f**king lame and a complete waste of time being condescended to. I mean duhhh?

    Also I have found that putting some Pure Argan Oil into my vagina and on the outer labia with my fingers helps too.


  • uds17
    uds17 Member Posts: 100
    edited March 2015

    Hi ladies.

    I can't believe I haven't read this thread before!!

    I am in such a sex funk! I get mad at my precancer self for not appreciating the fact that things could happen spontaneously and easilly. Now I am a shriveled up prune and sex hurts! I was premenopausal at diagnosis, but chemo threw me into menopause. I'm even more nervous that things will get worse after my hysterectomy next month. I am able to achieve orgasm with external stimulation, but it's definitely not as intense as it used to be.

    I was reading about Replens and will definitely give this a try.

    Thanks for sharing your stories.... it helps to know that I'm not alone.

    xoxo

Categories

Join Us on Zoom: Upcoming virtual meetups. Read more...
Give your account some personality! Add a profile photo.