I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
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Hi PoohBear - I was really nervous about the estrogen level but it is 2mg and is absorbed over 90 days so it is minimal but it has most certainly helped big time. I have a stash of Replens just in case because even though it last for 90 days, it costs me $60.
In my mind, I am afraid about removing it!!!!! Which will happen in about two weeks - if it doesn't hurt then I will order a refill but I am waiting to see how it goes!
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I'm glad I read this discussion. I'm not alone. I've always been the person who started all sex in our relationship, and it has always been good, until bc. Have been on arimidex for 2.5 years (Tamoxifen first, but was a b**** after two weeks on it...had to stop). My problem is freakin' pain. The thin external skin feels like it's ripping me in two and it is all I can do not to physically PUSH HIM THE HELL OFF! It hurts so bad and for days afterward. I just ordered some SYLK lube someone told me might help, but I def will try some of the things I've read here. I also agree the articles that keep slipping into the conversation here are meaningless. Thanks girls for being so frank and opening up about such an important part of our lives that have been destroyed. Bless all of you.nrp
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Just popping in to add Michael Krychman's most recent and interesting Blog on:
Mindfulness Meditation and Sexuality: Mindful or Mind Full?
Suggesting some simple techniques that can help maintain mindfulness during sex.
Let us know what you think.
The mods
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I hope the upcoming article re vaginal dryness offers concrete options and not psychobabble. Just I I we need more actual help. I don't have any body issues other than my body physically does not respond the way it should because the hormones are gone.
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AlexaP, me too!!! This article was worse than the last. I felt like it was blaming us for not being able to focus on sex because our minds are 'elsewhere'. It's really demoralizing.
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I thought the article was just plain silly. Because when hot and steamy, the last thing I want to be thinking about is "mindfulness". Geez.
I can just see it now. Serious action is about to get into full swing. BUT....I pull back and say "I have to get mindful." What??????
Can't think of a better buzzkill.
I guess there are different approaches to this end. Some I can think of include naughty suggestions, teasing, foreplay, a glass of wine, and appreciating each other. And for the record, "let's get mindful" is not exactly the same thing as "let's get nekkid". The second is fun, but the first just sounds like work.
Just saying.
NOW ON TO WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON.
- Breast cancer is an assault on our femininity. Worse for some women than others.
- Many women do not go back to where they were, and to being comfortable in their bodies post treatment.
- All sorts of "down there" problems on top of this, so sex is painful.
- Many of the solutions to these problems are concerning as add estrogen into the mix.
- Hard for some partners to be able to adjust to these changes and come up with solutions. Having an understanding partner is so crucial.
- Unresolved feelings such as guilt and fear don't help either.
There are others, but the above list is where someone writing a sexuality column should start. Things that make a difference in one's body, self-image, ambiance, and of course the physical piece.My list to address these issues would be different:
- Find a solution to the physical problem. These things can be helped, and no woman should have to suffer.
- For body image, toning and exercise are helpful.
- I think a great underwear collection is essential.
- There is nothing like appreciating each other. So both of you feel valued.
- I haven't done this, but I can see that some time away together might help move things along.
There is more, but it's about living, being loved, and being appreciated. I am so lucky to have someone in my life who adores me. The first time we were together, he kissed me all over. Now, there is an incentive to take things to the next level. And fortunately, I don't have any real problems with the physical part.
In sum, I believe that there is help, and this is something we should all insist on if we need it. At the same time, anyone trying to send us down the "mindfulness" path is either totally out of touch with the problem set (see list above) or needs a serious tutorial in the "godly arts" department. - Claire
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Well said Claire!!!
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I agree- very well said, Claire!
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Yes, Claire!
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yes ....definitely well said.0 -
I know many people cannot have the estrogen cream but for those who have been cleared to do so, I would like to share my experience. My dr gave me vagifem which is an estrogen pill that you put directly into the vagina. Once a day for 2 weeks then twice a week after that. It is supposed to help after about 8 weeks. Well I've been on it for 8 DAYS and we were able to have sex that only was not painful, but it felt good! I couldn't believe it! I know it's a controversial topic and I don't want to make anyone upset, but for those ladies considering it, I just wanted to share a good experience.
She also gave me the low dose Effexor for the hot flashes. They disappeared after the first pill. I still get hot but nothing anywhere near as bad as an actual hot flash. And not a single night sweat
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Well said Claire! It is a daily frustration. It makes me feel less of a women. I didnt think anything could make me feel as bad of myself after bc but this adds to it. I'm grateful for reconstruction but it's still (in my case) not pretty. Does any one else feel uncomfortable when ur pecs squeeze your implants ,just from movement? It makes me feel so ugly. I'm sorry but it does. I wear something to cover up my implants when we go to bed. So sad......
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Hi, popping in here to ask you ladies for those of you that are on Premarin vaginal cream how much do you put in ? My stick shows0.5 or 1.0 or 1.5 or 2.0 My doctor never told me how much or how often.
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Same question for Estrace vaginal cream but their stick shows 1g 2g or 3g and a 4g how much to put in and how often.
Any info would be so helpful thank you so much.
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Call your doctor and ask.
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I guess I can do that I just didn't want to be a bother to them.0 -
You need to bother them. You pay them and they should have told you. This is important. You want to be sure the dosage is the correct one for you. Never feel guilty about bothering your MD. Remember we are not doctors nor do we know your complete medical history. I would hate to find out that you took the incorrect amount.
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Mtks I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time adjusting to your new normal... My pec muscle moves around over my implant sometimes and it just makes me laugh because it feels weird. I do understand covering up in bed but I don't have nipples or tattoos yet and I have a scar that is still pretty red so if we're going to be intimate I wear super sexy lingerie... Have you considered talking to a counsellor about your self image? There is no shame in seeking help and there is no reason you should go through life feeling so bad about yourself... I hope you are able to find a way to feel better
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It took me about 2 years to get used to the implants being under my pecs. I was surprised it took me that long.
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Hi all,
Here's Michael Krychman's May Blog on: Sex Matters.
Vaginal Dryness 911: An Emergency Can Start the Conversation
Answering the question:
"I'm really suffering here. How do I have that awkward conversation… you know… about dryness… with my doctor about getting help?"
We appreciate any feedback you have!
The mods.
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I have no problem telling my female MO what I need...if she can't follow thru, I will find another. It's my body, my time. Sorry to offend anyone. Quality of life.
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The nurse at MO asked if I was in any pain, I said not right at this moment since I am not having sex right now, he prescribed estrace cream and I am having success with that.
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Jilly my thoughts exactly. I told my dr before, during and after that dryness would not be acceptable. He knew well ahead of time and gave me options. We ended up trying the vagifem and it has been great. I do think however that the drs should be more proactive in this area, explain the side effect of dryness and at least assure people that it is normal but there are things that can be done about it
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I'm still waiting for the Sex Matters column to provide some realistic suggestions for getting our MOJO back. So far every time a new article is unveiled, I am disappointed more and more. I've talked to my doctor about dryness and know that there are things out there that can help, but dryness is not the problem. Libido is the problem for me. She thinks it might be the letrozole, which makes sense, but there is no way I'm going to stop taking it and she obviously doesn't want me too either. Every article that comes out makes it seem like we are to blame. We are not mindful, we do not ask our physicians about dryness, we don't try new things, etc, etc.
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The info provided in Sex Matters is useless, in my opinion. How does lack of libido get fixed? That goes along with all the other physical problems.
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We really appreciate your feedback from the Sex Matter's Colum.
Here is the most recent Blog.
Let us know what you think.
We Hear Your Frustration With Low Libido and Vaginal Dryness!The Moderators
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Posted this on the article as well as here -- Wondering why these new drugs are for premenopausal women? Will they not work if a woman is menopausal? Many of us who are facing this problem are young and have been forced into menopause by oopherectomies or other treartments. Hoping to hear a response to this. Thank you!
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hello ladies:this just came into the news about a new Viagara for women???? kinda scary when it was stated in there that the SE are nausea and fainting, and in the same paragraph a famous psychologist was quoted with saying something else that seem to want to negate this aspect? Love to hear your thoughts on this - would you want to take this pill that brings your mojo back yet could possibly gives you nausea and fainting spells? Is it really worth it, considering the pressure's coming from the drug's developer?
http://www.gantdaily.com/2015/06/05/female-viagra-women-should-be-able-to-choose/
http://edition.cnn.com/2015/06/05/opinions/schwartz-female-viagra/index.html
Sending best wishes in this area of physical romance...
P.S. And our very own Dr. Krychman's article on this subject is most enlightening too...
http://community.breastcancer.org/blog/we-hear-your-frustration-with-low-libido-and-vaginal-dryness/
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I just read an article on Huffington Post about a strain of cannibis called Sexxpot that is making enjoyment of sex possible for many women, particularly in their 50's and 60's. It also said that there is some evidence that cannibis is anti-estrogenic. Of course, it looks like one can only by this in California, perhaps just Berklee.0
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So my Onc's office today suggested Hyalo-gyn for vaginal dryness-has anyone tried this? I am thinking about ordering it online. It is a hormone free cream and looks like it might work.
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This is the first time I've heard of it, but would definitely be interested to hear back from you if you try it. I've been using a combo of Luvena a few times a week along with Organic virgin Coconut Oil and a Vitamin E/Calendula Gel. That's been working pretty well, but I'm worried if I have my ovaries removed and go on the AI drugs the problems will worsen.
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