I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
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Have any of you done your five years of arimidex or femara or whatever.....and found after you stopped taking it, you had more interest in sex? Please tell me it's so....It has been two years since I had my oopherectomy and have been on arimidex. No sexual desire whatsoever. I am hoping it will come back when my five years are up! Does anyone know????
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SouthernGal....
I can't help you on that I have been on Tamoxifen for almost a year.
I looked back at my last few post and have to tell all that I am having the best time!
I kind of went nuts the first month or so of dating and have calmed down quite a bit.
I am so happy and content with the man I have been seeing for the past month and most of my sex drive has come from flirting... OMG I love to flirt and that gets me in the mood. Sex is so nice too.
Now the more sex I have the more I want. Before, it was not even thought of and the longer I went with out, the less I wanted.
I also got a book on Sex & Intimacy after cancer. I read most of that - it has some very good suggestion in it.
Hope you find your way back to your MOJO!
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I haven't finished my 5 years yet! But even during my 1 year of hercetin and 1 year of tamoxifen and now 3 weeks of Arimidex I have no sex drive what so ever!!! I pray that it comes back!!
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Hi Ladies, I'm new to this site and have come here hoping all of you would have answers to the same questions you are asking me! Well, that's not much help, is it! Okay, here's my story, I'm 58. I'm a 17 year Stage II survivor (thank you!) and have worked through every bump and turn under the sun as I've grown in my years. I had a mastectomy in '93, reconstruction in '95 and last November replaced that reconstruction with a TRAM Flap and nipple reconstruction. I look amazing! But that isn't helping my problem climaxing during sex. I was not estrogen positive yet none of my docs want me on any estrogen products. So, yes, I've got a drawer full of astroglide, KY massage, toys, music in the background, candles burning, pre-play it all feels wonderful but there's no climax. Like someone else said, there just has to be something out there to help. My hubby is my knight in shining armor...can't blame him. Help? Anyone? Would you try estrogen at 58?
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IDK about that! but have you tried the gun oil lub or the KY his and hers intense stuff?
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Gun oil lube?
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I have not had a natural "O" since before my bi-lateral 27 months ago. I finally just gave up and ordered "Mr Big" the Hatachi Magic Wand...from Amazon.com and now with Mr Big I get one everytime.....
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Does anyone else have pain? Not a lub problem but very painful.
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Gun Oil was in an article in CURE magazine... it is a real LUBE but the article was funny because it was in a suitcase at the air port with a toy... The TSA man was suspicious, but the woman knew what it was! LMAO!
Check out the book by Gina M. Maisano
Intimacy After Breast Cancer
It has so much wonderful info on getting back to pain free sex!
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Since becoming perimenopausal, I started having problems with decreased intensity of orgasm, and then after starting on tamoxifen, noticed that it became difficult to get to a climax at all and to even feel any arousal or sensation at all. So, I've tried warming lubes, tingly lubes, and clitoral stimulation gels, which only ended up giving me a burning feeling due to their menthol content. I tried pills that are supposed to stimulate the libido. None of these worked!
What did work? Before my breast cancer diagnosis, I tried phytoestrogen pills, which did help a lot with all my perimenopausal problems. They contained soy, black cohosh, evening primrose, and some minerals. I tried them again while on tamoxifen and they didn't work anymore. So I think that being on tamoxifen overrides a lot of the remedies that might help me.
I also tried Wellbutrin low dose, which did help, but gave me heart palpitations, so I had to stop it.
In the 3 years I've had this problem, I've decided that I would not stop until I found a solution, that I would not accept this as the "New me" I've even thought about stopping the tamoxifen, but worry about a reoccurrance, so 20 months later, I'm still taking it.
The latest thing I've tried after extensive reading on the subject and discussing with my Gyn and then my Onc, I decided that I had all the symptoms of possible testosterone deficiency, and started on Androgel. My Onc assured me that this wouldn't be a problem for me to take. Anyway, it worked! The intensity and the good response to stimulation came back. No male side effects and orgasms are consistently good again. I'm currently taking a little break from it to see if things go downhill again, but 2 weeks off it and so far, so good, occasionally the sensation is seeming to be lacking, so I will soon start back on it.
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rgiuff
I just went to the AndroGel website to read about this product. It stated that you should not use this if you have breast cancer and that women should not use it. This is the company making these statements. I would be very reluctant to use this product.
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I, too, had breast cancer back in 2005 and am now a 5 year cancer survivor which I am so happy about but between the zolodex and the arimidex I have been taking for 5 years really messed up my sex drive. I have absolutely no drive or desire to do anything!!!!!!!!!!!. My husband has been great through it all but it's not fair to either one of us. I will now be going off arimidex and praying that my sex drive comes back. I miss our intimacy and sexual relationship. Sometimes I feel like we are two strangers passing in the night between the hot flashes, going to bed late etc. Did anyone else feel like this when they were on arimidex?
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Linda, I understand what you are saying because I noted all these things myself. The Gyn who prescribed it stated that it is becoming more commonly used for women who may be low in libido and desire, right now used off label. The amt. for women to use is only a fraction of what a male dose would be. And I was instructed to only put it on my arms and legs, none on the breasts.
I thought my Onc would say no to it, but he stated that testosterone was actually used at one time to treat ER+ breast cancer, and assured me that it would not be a problem for me to take. It has helped my sex life, so I'd be reluctant to give it up.
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OMG! I had no idea that Arimidex could be causing this lack of sexual desire! Plus, it HURTS to have sex...no matter how much Gun Oil I use...Like the idea of the Androgel...Will mention to my Gyn when I see her next month...thanks for the tip...
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My gyn just prescribed low dose vagi-fem but so far it doesn't help with the pain. Any thoughts?
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Stanzie, maybe you need to give it a few weeks? When did you start using it? I'm curious to see how it works because I'm thinking of also asking for some estrogen cream to use on the outer areas. I'm noticing that the skin feels thinner down there and more easily irritated by any stimulation
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Stanzie, I have found that Vit E oil helps with the drying out. I use it everyday after I shower and have even used it again in the evening. The tissues have to be maintained and as the others on this board have said "use it or lose it" helps also. If you are prone to UTI's as I am, be careful about too much oil on the outer areas, try to put most of it internally. You can also use the KY Pearls every week or so just for a deeper lubrication.
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listmaker - thanks so much - can I ask - you use it internally? Thanks for the KY pearls suggestions - haven't ever even heard of that one. Thank you!
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Stanzie-yes, I use it internally. Found the Vit E oil in with the other supplements at the drug store. I haven't found any applicator that will work with the bottle the way it is so, sorry if this is TMI, I use my fingers. The pearls work pretty well, be prepared 1-3 hours after inserting the little capsule you will have a discharge. So I use it when I'm going to be home, in the evening, then go to the bathroom in a few hours and things are good to go after that. KY used to have coupons on their website but I haven't looked in a while. I now only need these every few weeks since the vit E is keeping everything sorta healthy. Hope this helps.
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It does help very much and I will go to the store tomorrow. I very much appreciate all the information and no it isn't TMI cause I did need more information. Thanks!!
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Hello Ladies
I have the same thing, they told me it's vaginal atrophy - sounds horrific doesn't it..
I use either of these two products a couple of times a week and it seems to work
I get them online, so you should be able to find them over there - Good Luck!
Balance Activ Vaginal Gel
Bio-Fem Active Gel
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So I am 44 years old, had mastectomy a year ago, finished chemo in March, will finish Herceptin in November. I am concerned as I do not care to have anyone touch me. Hard to give/receive hugs from the kids and really have not had much contact with hubby for a year. Never used to be this way.
Do you think I/we need counseling? Onc says "give it time." Hubby says "how much time?"
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ang7, you need counselling. I started two weeks ago and it is night and day for me. Please call and get an appointment. I prefer licensed social workers as opposed to shrinks who just throw drugs at you.
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Or psychologists, they do talk therapy, too, and not drugs.
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Ang7
YES!
I am 44 years old too and had a bilateral mastectomy last october and I understand about how you feel and it was not until I got rid of my tissue expanders and got my soft gel implants that I really hugged someone. OMG it was so nice to have a real hug I just cried because I missed the physical contact. The MOJO stuff is different from hugs, but I didn't know how much I missed them until I got a real hug!
All this cancer crap affects us is so many ways that no one else would guess. I would seek help from a local support group that deals with Breast Cancer. The one I belong to has been going strong for almost 20 years. We talk and deal with everything! Having other women who are or have been in your situation is invaluable and can relate to your sexual and emotional issues.
Big Hugs
Kimberly
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Thank you all for caring enough to post...
Hubby and I have an appointment scheduled for next week at Life with Cancer.
She said on the phone that my feelings were normal and it was ok to feel this way after the year we have had...
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Has anyone tried the vaginal dialators? My issue is less one of interest (although I don't have a ton!) or lubrication. Once DH gets me going, I seem to be fine in both departments. But we can't manage full penetration, not even half. It's just too painful. Gyn explained that the pelvic floor muscles can begin to clamp down after cancer and then it becomes a vicious circle. The body anticipates pain and the muscles tighten to brace for it making it worse. The dialators are a set of four, graduated in size. You start with the smallest, 5 min each night until that size is no longer painful, then move to the next size.
I just started using them in conjunction with some plant estrogen cream from the naturopath, so we'll see how it goes.
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So we met with the counselor.
She said I needed to accept my body first before I can share it with others.
This makes sense as I have some anger issues still...
She really spoke to my husband and had him understand why I am feeling this way. She said a lot of women do not have the desire for at least a year after chemo.
She also recommended the site Pure Romance?
I am definitely in a better state of mind about all of this.
Thanks.
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Hello, monandeclan. I am extremely eager to hear how it goes. I was wondering what brand you are using. It seems there are many different brands and styles to choose from.
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Hi all...I've been checking here every so often and noticed some discussion regarding the use of dilators. I posted the following about a year ago and thought that you might like to check out some of the links:
Jul 27, 2009 12:23 am FitChik wrote:
Hi chicas...This question, as well as many helpful suggestions, have been the primary topic for discussion on the "MOJO" board. Replens and KY Liquibeads have been used successfully by many women, while others have found relief through using the Estring or Vagifem. Many have discovered that they needed more than standard lubes and have used KY jelly, Vaseline, baby oil, and even Crisco with success. We have also discussed toys, including dildos and dilators. Here are two suggestions:
http://www.mypleasure.com/Sex-Toy-Berman-Dilator-Set.asp?dept_id=9090?cat=SearchCat
http://www.vaginismus.com/products/vaginismus_kit_dvd
This article discusses how to use a dilator:
Finally, we talk a great deal about alternatives to vaginal intercourse, but since the original question here addresses only that, anyone interested in other types of sexual activity should visit us over on MOJO!
Good luck, ladies!
~Marin
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