Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Deb C. hope you are feeling better. You too, Bonnie...
A big 'ol "That SO Sucks!" to all who need it. And a tomato is a fruit, btw, since it has seeds on the inside. Berries have them on the outside (except for the poor old blueberry, freak of nature that it is) and veggies don't have them at all. This info brought to you courtesy of my know-it-all 14-yr old. We now return to our regularly scheduled suckage...
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Felicia's 14 y/o is right, tomato are fruit. And dh is drooling watching them grow yet not ripe enough to pick. Early Girls, Beefmaster and heirloom all producing a huge quanity, but not yet ripe. His favorite for driving and eating are the little cherry type and he took his first set with him this morning to tease his fellow drivers with who are all waiting for the millions to ripen on the vines! Oh my!Cats? We have 2, and that's dh's limit! Especially since has started peeing on my tennies that I wear in the garden! She's not happy with me pulling catnip I suppose and not sharing!
Danged cats! Dd and I saw the neatest playpen for pets yesterday! A tent material, with screen all around, about 6-8 foot circle and 2 feet high. The bottom velcroes in, so can be removed, and the top is zippered on. I would have loved to have it, but alas...$100~ Whew! Love you kitties, but really!!!! Oh my!Bonnie.....I was just reading about those Se's of blistering feet and hands, from treatments? It's called PPE or some such thing. Palmar plantar Erythry????? There is a treatment for it. Have you let your onco know about it?It can become debilitating, so take good care of it now!
BIG that SUCKS!
My complaint! Small beans to you fighting this beast, but the RAIN missed us, so it's drag the hoses around AGAIN today!
Why do the skies part when they come for our town? Been doing that for years now! Big storm, headed for us, warnings even posted at times, and then as it nears, we see the clouds, and they split to go north and south of us Hate that!0 -
This is a Highjacking "Listen to my shit" (i.e., All of the IOS really DO suck, but I'm gonna focus on mine, mine, mine).
Today went to the surgeon who is gonna remove my ovaries. Thephysician's assistant did an intake interview of sorts. She kept pursuing a line of questioning about whether or not I wanted to have kids, freeze eggs, etc. After about the third question, I said firmly: "Listen, I don't want to have children. I have never wanted to have children. I do not want a discussion of my ovaries centering on whether or not I want to have children. Please write that on your chart: I don't want to have kids." She then said, "Well, some women change their minds and then they regret--" and I barked: "I am 43 years old. I am a grown woman who has felt this way all of my life. I am not going to change my mind and I object to the implication that I might." I could have added, "And spare me the paternalistic concern about what I might later regret. I'm a grown-ass woman with cancer. I can handle my own regrets."
As I have stated elsewhere, I am SICK TO THE TEETH of doctors and others discussing my options by referring almost exclusively to my fecundity (or rather, the lack thereof), e.g., "ovaries -- well, you're not going to use them anyway" or "ovaries -- are you sure you don't want kids?", "breasts -- it's not like you're going to breastfeed..." or "breasts -- what does your partner think?" As if my only relationship to my breasts, ovaries, uterus, etc. could be one of, well, reproduction.
The PA and I had a similarly "sensitive" exchange about another matter and I found myself saying, "Have you ever had your pubic hair fall out? Or various linings in your body dry up? The body is built the way it is for a reason. Please, don't tell me something is not possible unless you have been through it." It's the way I feel every time a medical professional assures me that a side effect that I am experiencing is not possible or is not happening, or that I must take drug X for s/e Y, etc.
I have learned to simply nod my head and think, "Yeah, well, you've never been on chemo, have you?" I know my body. I may not always understand it. But I know it. Don't f*cking tell me what I do and do not feel.
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Here you go Rock!
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Preach on, sistah!0
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You tell 'em Rock......I have a friend who, just like you does not want children. Neither does her husband. They are both early 40's, and have a very good life.
They couldn't wish for anything, lovely big house, 3 cars, he has his own business, she's a lecturer in accountancy, they take 4 hols. a year, can go and come as they please, dote on their dogs. But all this is marred by both sets of parents constantly badgering them for grandchildren.They are both only children. The parents just will not accept the fact that my friend and her husband will never, ever have children.
I have 2 children and 6 grandchildren, and apart from my DD, I sometimes get so sick of being asked to bankroll my DS, or one of the grandchildren for some mad scheme, or hearing of another of the grandchildren smashing up a car, being kicked out of school or getting some girl or other pregnant ( one g/son managed this with 2 girls in 4 weeks, last year. ((my very strong anti abortion views very suddenly HAD to change !!)) OMG)
I often think if only I'd not had any children how smooth and peaceful life might have been. Apart from bc, of course.
Isabella.
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Felicia, I don't agree with this seed thing, green beans have a seed inside of them, does that make them a fruit?????
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So do peas and watermelons, and pumpkins and all kinds of veggies, like cukes....hmmmmmm...there is a reason, but this tired ol' mind can't remember! I did pick another hand full of cherry toms today though!
Rock, You go girl!
Isabella....UGH! Thankfully I have girls only to contend with and only one (the step one has gotten pg, but I blame that on her mom
) Our dd has remained single so far but at 25, is getting antsy about wanting to start a family. Just hope this is the guy, b/c dang it....I hate that 'risk' hanging over her head about waiting to have kids 0 -
Rock,
So, what I hear you saying is that you don't want to have kids. And you are getting sick of people treating you like you are not smart enough or know yourself well enough or are mature enough to make that decision without some medical person's input. I'd be pissed off, too...Want me to hurt them? Cause I will, I have several friends (as you do) who can weild a mean shovel.
I hate it when medical people treat us like children.
I'm sorry that happened to you today.
It's also okay to hijack the bitch thread, whenever you want.
Love ya.
Sue
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Got us on the string bean thing, Luann, but aren't watermelons, cukes and pumpkins fruits?!?
Rock for president
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Rock, that experience with the surgeon's PA just sucks!
I, too, never wanted any children of my own. I got married when I was 35, after my dh and I had known each other for 5 years. He would have been happy with more children, I think, but he had a son by a previous marriage and he never pressured me about more kids. My step-son is now almost 30 years old, married, and has a 2-year-old daughter. He lived with us during summers throughout his school years, but that's not like raising a child full-time.
Anyway, I decided to have a tubal ligation for my 40th birthday. My dh was fine with that, but my GYN was skeptical at first. He agreed to do the surgery, but my dh also had to sign the consent form. (I think that may be a state law. My reproductive system wasn't solely my property, it seems.)
When I was wheeled into the OR, one of the nurses said, "Oh, you're so young! I guess you've had all your children already" (or something like that). I just said, yes, I have.
So, I know what you mean.
otter
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Otter, I am somehow not surprised that the ''lord and master' had to give his consent in the state of Alabama. I mean, tubal ligation is controlling his fertility, his manhood by gawd! (Not your husband of course, but the average Alabaman who might be considering passing such legislation)
Wish, sorry you are having to lug around the hose to water - be they fruits or veggies!
I can relate - no rain between midMay-early Nov. round these parts. The mild weather makes up for it though.Nicki - what's the decision on the ankle? How is it feeling anyway?
Bonnie - sorry to hear the Taxol is giving you gripes already. That SUCKS! Make sure your onc. knows!
Deb - I hope you could hear me whoopin' it up for you all the way to Alaska about your clear MRI!
Lisa
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Hi all, I didn't even post here at my bitchiest, which was sometime yesterday in the midst of a horrible intestinal virus or something...
Rock, that really sucks. Reminds me of a surgical consult I had pre-BC where the gyn surgeon was recommending total hysterectomy for a structural problem (prolapse) -- whereas I'd read that approach could actually make the prolapse worse, so was asking about a "lift" procedure, and he snidely said "well, if you have some sentimental attachment to your uterus..."
Okay -- now that we know which vegetables are fruits...
Which "FRUIT" is a vegetable???
?
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?
Rhubarb!!!
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Rock - That just sooo sucks. You answered my question from the chemooo thread, but I'm sorry that was the answer (or at least part of it). I have a great colleague at work that I go to when I need someone to curse for me (she does it marvelously in Spanish!) - so, Bastarda! (and a full five finger wave) to the PA!!
Here's a THAT SUCKS for everyone else. Now listen to my crap...
My very good friend and colleague asked me to write her a letter of reference today. While I am happy to do that, this also means she is looking for a new job. We have been through a shitty year at work and that's even without my bc crap. It made me very sad to think of working without her, even though I know we'll remain friends. She is one of my biggest supports there and I may have to reconsider my career path. The supervisors we work for are being real assholes (and, yes, some are women!). CRAP. But then I get mad (at the supervisors) and think about the program I've built there and that there's no way in HELL I'm leaving what I've put 8 years of sweat and tears into!!! CRAP, CRAP, CRAP.
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nice to be able to say how much all of this sucks.
Christine, I am with you with the work sucks concept. I guess one of the advantages of going through this BC CRAP late in life is that one can retire. Not so when you are 44!! gosh I have at least 20 yrs of work before I can even think of retiring. In the meanwhile, I was off ill during a huge and key project, now there is no more work for me here and I expect to be downsized next year. So, here I go, re-inventing my professional life past 40, probably needing to move overseas - but I have to WAIT and see what happens - this is a major sucky thing to me. I am a planner and hate to stand still and wait.
Why wait? because while most treatments are finished (still hercepting every 3 weeks, and tamox), I still want to take care of some loose thread, including ovaries out - chemopause is anyway done, plus tamox, and I don't see why I should take a risk. but I am not looking forward this, nor to the snide comments on fertility - especially as I would have LOVED having one kid more (I have a daughter), but after my separation and divorce I had 6 years alone (too busy with work, I guess - incredible no?), and now I have someone in my life again, and it will never happen. I am ok with it, but it really sucks when doctors point it out. Can't they undestand that we do have a brain that isn't resident in our uterus or breasts?
Of all the testing that bugs me, the colonoscopy is the worse. Not only because it is a really sucky test, plus the prep is yuk, but also because I am at double risk (bc plus ulcerative colitis). So I am worried.... it should be all right, have no reason to be bad, but can't avoid worrying (you know, especially at 3 in the morning, during a bout of insomnia, when I see myself in chemo again).
So if I look at it: 13 months ago I had a great job, a set life, perspective on where I was going, was deciding to purchase my own home.
today, my job is out of the window. my life is upside down. I spent more time in company of doctors nurses and in hospitals than at work. I didn't purchase my home - and I don't even know where the h*** I will be resident in a year.
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Thank you, people, for getting it. Ann, it would have been interesting to see if Dr. Asshat had a sentimental attachment to his testicles, moments after having been kicked in them. These are the words that ring in one's ears for years after they are uttered. I feel a new thread coming on: "Stupid Things So-Called Medical Professionals Have Said."
Otter: A husband signing a consent form for the removal ... I have no words. Gob-smacked. Positively gob-smacked.
When I read Lisa's post responding to Otter AND Wishiwere, I accidentally combined her responses: ... a la "I mean, tubal ligation is controlling his fertility, his manhood by gawd . . .sorry you are having to lug around the hose to water - be they fruits or veggies!"
And Lilith and everyone else with an IOS, isn't this about the time where some dingbat jumps in to your life to remind you that "breast cancer is the good cancer...it's the one with the cure."
Cris: I know you are far too professional and ethical to ever slip a kiss of death sentence or two into a letter like, "Carol is a hard worker with a great personality. Nobody works harder at her job than Carol. That Carol -- hard worker!" or "Carol has an approach to counseling that is all her own. This unique approach extends to other areas as well, like report-writing and time management." or simply, "Carol is special."
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Rock, I have been out of the closet for 18 years. I have been with my partner for 7. My partner was with me at the onc appointment where they insisted that I take a PREGNANCY test before starting chemo. Even though I pointed out it would have to be the longest gestation in the history of mankind for me to be pregnant. Who friggin lies about this stuff? Apparently they couldn't take any chances because they insisted I take the test before I could start. At some point, it all just ceases to be funny any more. Thanks for calling them on it, it's time they understand just how stupid they sound.
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Bonnie, it's not even FUNNY you brought that pre-test pg test up! Different setting (dh had a vas 28 yrs ago) and they wanted to do a pg test on me before surgery! I said NO! I'm not paying for a test that IS NOT needed. Thus, I had to SIGN a waver saying I wasn't or couldn't be or some such and was not accepting the test! OMG! I was 49~ Stupid RULES! Always CYA! Someone got sued for something and now we all have to pay for test for that stupidity!
BIG SUCKS!
BTW? Does a WIFE have to sign for dh's permission to have a VASECTOMY in AL? Rather doubt it, as it wouldn't be a part of the dowry I suppose!
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Yes, I wonder about the heartlessness and stupidity of the medical professional world sometimes.
I want to have a hysterectomy, because I was dx'd at age 35 with premature ovarian failure and I never could have kids, even IF I wanted them. But, I always thought that BOTH partners should want them, and my dh never did. SO we have also done alot of fun things, taken fun vacations, and bought a house, and done lots of stuff we could never have done if we had kids.BUT, now, when this freakin' fibroid tumor is getting BIGGER and BIGGER, I LOOK PREGNANT, and the Tamoxifen is causing it to grow, and put pressure on the bladder and everything else, causing all kinds of problems, and the STUPID drs. won't do a hysterectomy, to put me out of my misery, from all these se's I'm having!!
I suspect that the dr. just wants to look into our vaginas, they must get a kick out of it. This dr. wants to do an endometrial biopsy. I keep telling him that if he just takes it all out, he can look at this stuff to his heart's content. But, I keep thinking that if he did that, he couldn't keep doing these tests, and biopsies, and the whole thing just stinks!! See, no more money for him, to keep doing these very fun exams and tests...
OH, and my ONC, the brilliant genius that he is, doesn't believe me, that I am in menopause.. flyrzfan, why would I friggin' lie about something like this?Another humorus story, before my reconstruction surgery, they put a cup on the counter, and I'm sitting there, getting my lovely gown on, and the nurse comes in and says, "Now go into the bathroom, and pee in the cup." I say.... WHY? She says, "Well, we always do a pregnancy test before surgery"... I had my biopsy and my bi-lateral mastectomy there in that hospital, and I don't recall having to give a urine sample, but I was kind of upset so maybe I just forgot... Oh yes, I remember giving a urine sample before the mast., during the pre op bloodwork. I never asked what it was for. So I told her, there is NO WAY I could be pregnant, but if you insist, I'll do the urine test. Well, she disappeared, and never brought it up again.
It all just sucks!!!
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well, it really appears docs don't have any funny bones. I remember having someone yrs ago before a colonoscopy asking "could you be pg" - my answer was - heck, it would be another "virgin" birth... I was still married, and my then DH wouldn't touch me with a stick.
Still, the doc thought wise to send me for a blood sample so she could get the pg right. whatever. That is why health costs are soaring: stupid and painful tests done only to protect the ass of our docs and to provide college money to the labs folks' kids.
I have to laugh at the consent that Otter's DH had to sign. I guess a medically required removal would impact his "amusement grounds"? would a waver be required in case of a prostate biopsy???
I am having a p****-off day, so I keep finding gripes.
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Okay, folks, if you are going to bring up the rabbit test than you are going to have to listen to another war story (I've told it before, tho I don't remember where.)
My report on my re-excision: While surgery was a breeze, there was some aggravation caused by the requirement that I have a test to establish that I am not preggers before they'll operate. It pisses me off that -- as with my ill-fated mammogram back in 2003 -- concern for an entirely theoretical fetus can override the reality of my actual physical condition and my personal desire. I had not had sex in the past two weeks when I had had the last pregnancy test.
After checking with me, my surgeon was on board ("We are not holding up this surgery for a pregnancy test!") but I did get a bit snippy with the nurse who kept kept clucking about "we need a pregnancy test! we need a pregnancy test!" (in fairness, she was probably trying to cover her administrative backside.) When the anesthesiologist started to bang that particular drum, I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I am not pregnant. I am having my period right now." He blinked and then said, "Oh. That helps. But I'm sorry I made you say that." To which I responded, "No problem. I'm happy to say it again. I think there are people down at the end there [he had pulled me aside in the recovery room to have our pre-surgery consult], who didn't hear me." Geesh.
When the nurse told me later that I wasn't pregnant, I couldn't help it, I said, "No shit."
*****
To make up for recyclamoaning, I offer you the follow up, which I think of as "The Revenge of the PA." My hand was resting on the desk while we were talking. She looked down and said, "Oh, you had a vein blow, right?" Why yes, thank you for noticing. And then when she was checking my heart, she had me lay down. When I did, she said, "That's better. It was hard to tell how fast it was beating because the sound of your mitral valve prolapse was so loud."
I was hoping she would check my reflexes so I could "accidentally" give her a good kick, or ask me to open my mouth and say "Aahhhhh" so that I could conjure up a good coughing attack. I was thinking of these things, I really was.
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About having to signing for hubby vasectomy, I think I had to sign a consent form when my hubby had his done 12 yrs ago. We live in NC. I think the doctors just want the spouse to have a say in whether or not you will have more children, but I think that it is funny. They never asked me to pee in a cup for pregnancy tests before any of my surgeries.
Sheila
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Rock? That doc wasn't that smart afterall I suppose! Because the fact is, a woman can have a full period after becoming pg! I did! IT's not common, but can in fact happen in the first couple of weeks. So, why do they even ask, when they don't know the territory!
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Hi All,
I haven't checked all the threads, but how was Alaska Deb's MRI? Hang in there girl. What spooky symptoms are you having?
My computer is moving so slow, it cannot keep up with my typing. My husband was messing with it when I got up. WTF did he do to it?
I, too, am jealous with all the pools. I have a 3 ring inflatable but don't have the breath to blow it up. I barely fit it in, and then my two 45lb dogs try to climb in with me. Even the cats come and try to drink up all the water. It is hot here. I just stayed in the house yesterday and read. I need a good book to read.
I am so tired and sore. I want to work out but the upstairs where I have all my equipment is too hot. It is too hot to walk. Due to the economy, they have cut back the hours on the frame shop where I work part time so I don't get as many hours. Oh frigging great. The weatherman just said today will be the hottest day yet!
Gosh, Traci, Dallas w/o air. No way! I lived in Houston when I was at MD Anderson going through chemo in August. Miserable.
The only good thing today is I have a massage scheduled at 2pm but not sure I can lay on my stomach. My therapist is a BC survivor so she will work with me.
I, too, never had or wanted children. I went to the dermatologist who shares an office with a cardiologist. The only mags in the waiting room were pregancy and childbirth mags. WTF??? After reading about 3 of them, I called my husband and told him I wanted a baby. I called him back 2 hours later and told him it had passed, could I have a kitten instead? He had a vasectomy before I met him because he did not want any more kids. He had two grown kids when I met him. His son is a real SH*T. We don't even know where he is. His daughter is really sweet but very troubled as she suffers from depression and has become extremely obese. We need to get her down for a visit but I just can't handle houseguests at this time.
The turkeys have found my tomatoes and are eating them up. We have lots of wild turkeys here. They can have them as far as I am concerned. I am through with the outdoors until it gets cooler.
Speaking of preganancy tests, they used to test you for STD's when you went in the hospital. When I had cancer 22 years ago, I was admitted to a local hospital for very low blood counts and given 2 pints of blood and some platelets. AID's had just come into the news. I get a call from the health dept. I would not take the call because I was scared they would tell me I got infected blood. Well as it turns out, they were calling to tell me I had syphillis???? I had not had sex for 2 years and had been on tons of antibiotics. I was talking to the guy and he said what is this word and spelled out c h e m o. I said that was chemotherapy. Well, as it turns out chemo will give a false positive for STD?????? Talk about a total idiot????
Thats my rant for now. So sorry for everybody's IOS's. I am just a crankypants (thanks for the term, Hanna) today. Rock, I am still waiting for the BC cure.
Debbie
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I have the answer on the fruit with no seeds, how about the banana
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Hi you all,
Well, I can see my entries were like eye floaters last night. My crazy and pissed off thermometer rose to the inane post level. (OMG now I'm seeing palindromes everywhere!.....level....need to remember that for the palindrome thread) Edginess makes me....edgy.
My cheek is quite swollen from biting it rather severely last night while eating a mixed of bowl of leftover cereals from 7 different boxes that were never meant to go together. It looked like something regurgitated from the garbage disposal. After biting my cheek - the cereal did end up in the garbage disposal. Altogether an unpleasant experience.
I seem to have focused solely on my hideous cereal experience along with the fruit vs. veggie issue and missed the reproductive organs irritations.
I remember once being asked by a nuclear guy if I was pregnant prior to being injected with yet another "hot" tracer. I looked him square in the eye - in fact - we were locked eye battle for a few seconds. I said, "Young man, do you have ANY idea how old I am?" He looked at the chart and looking back quite embarrassed said the hospital rules were that he had to ask any female over age 18 up to what was or looked to be age 54 if they were pregnant. (A radiology tech compliment?) I virtually shouted at him...NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!! He then presented me with "the release form" to sign and proceeded to get his nuclear show on the road. I felt bad actually, he was nice....and rather cute.
Regarding one's repro organs, I believe they.....and all discussions regarding them are the domain of organ owner's alone. No putting them up for debate. No sharing clauses. No conniving questions designed to delve into one's sexuality or preferences. No persevering questioning. A simple yes or no should suffice. Boring the issue with an awl (Hi Pam and Rock!) is not to be tolerated. Enough is enough and most of us have had quite enough.
This business of questioning us as though our minds are distinctly remote from those organs and unable to track their goings-on is rather insulting.
As though we are the wild eyed hormonally overcome mindless creatures pictured on the cover's of romance novels with our glossy lips parted in helpless submission, our full bosoms heaving and on display...blossoming out of our white barmaids blouses above a waist tightly cinched in black laces whilst we are bent backward over the massive, corded, passionate arm of Dirk - his long wind swept hair falling forward over his strong angular jaw, his dark eyes intense, mouth slanting, descending toward our arched and vulnerable neck, the bulging muscles of his back nearly breaking through his torn pirates shirt, revealing a swath of darkly tanned glistening shoulder and powerful chest, his tight breeches barely able to contain his...(xxx etc. etc.)
Anyway....most of us, I presume, would still have the capacity to remember such an event and would ergo know of any possibility of pregnancy...with either Dirk or some other worthy suitor.
IMO - if we want to keep or lose our internal family jewels, along with the advice of a physician we trust, this is our business. Random questioners with no true 'need to know' should go pick up a romance novel.
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