Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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see I knew you all were confusing me (not that it takes much), some use IOC and Felicia explain IOS......I guess this just all sucks.....
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Deb -- That is frigging beautiful! Wow! "Lefty" and I are very honored. Unworthy, but honored.
Harley -- That seems like a load o' wrong. (Any chance of getting a second opinion from say, a doctor who is not a sadist?)
Felicia -- Motorcycles -- YES!!! I rode a little Honda CB100 from the time I was 10 until I went to college. (My parents' rule was that I couldn't go out on the highway until I could pick up the bike if it fell on me. I used to practice and practice. I thought that was the dumbest rule until I was laying under one miles from home.) When my mom turned 60 she got a bigger bike (a 450??) of her own. Her driving test didn't go so well but she managed to pass...
Mom: Say, were you born in X County Memorial Hospital?
Examiner: Yes, I was.
Mom: I'm pretty sure I delivered you. Isn't that interesting? I brought you into the world and now, 35 years later you decide whether or not I get my license.
[Pause]
Mom: So, did I pass?
(She did.)
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Whoo-hoo, Nicki! Congrats on the sparkly clean scan! Confetti time!
And the bike is a Honda Nightwing. It's 450ccs and heavy as hell (323lbs!). Hard to roll out of the garage so I know I will need to practice picking that thing up from the ground and/or moving it off of me. Feeling kinda overwhelmed at all the stuff still to learn to be able to jump on and get the the gym/other close errands (the reason I bought it was to save gas; sucker gets something like 80 miles to the gallon!). Felt the same way when I was learning to drive a five-speed car, but I didn't have to worry about it falling on me for Pete's sake...
Hey Luann and Ann, got any more stumpers from the "is it veggie/is it fruit?" files?
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Rock,
This dr. never said all that, about having to measure the fibroid and they won't do surgery until it is a certain size... I read this in a book I bought on fibroid tumors, when I was dx'd about 5 years ago. They said that this USED to be the way they treated them... just wait and see, until they reached a certain size, amounting to '12 weeks', like I was pregnant or something... and they USED to just do hysterectomies to treat fibroids.
Now they have other 'laser' surgery, to just take out the fibroids, but I read that they can still grow back, and since I'm taking Tamoxifen, they probably WILL just continue to grow. But, this dr. isn't suggesting doing anything. He just wants to do an endometrial biopsy, to check my endometrial lining, and to see if there are any polyps there.
I am reading that other women also have to have a D & C, and then a polypectomy to remove the polyp. Now I thought that is what this stupid dr. was supposed to be doing... taking out the @#$& polyp, if there EVEN IS one!!
I HATE DRS., especially GYNs and ONCs, too!!Harley
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can i bitch before the fact? tomorrow is herceptin. no biggy.. ..been doing that for over a year. but i get results from tumor markers. cea was slowing going up and hasn't been done since before the last pet which showed "significant progression" so i know dammed well it's up again. i'm just hoping not up so much that i freak out. the cea seems to be indicative for me. i just hate the "poor thing" looks from the staff there but what can i do. it is what it is.
and i am sorry for everybody's IOS's. there must be a fair world out there somewhere.
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Geez, I've been away FAR too long. So much suckiness to catch up with.
DebC, gosh woman, I am so glad your MRI came out clean! I bet you heard the angels shouting, Alleluia! Alleluia! Or, was that you? I've been thinking about you and wondering. I'm so glad I came here and found out the good news. I wonder if the chemo is screwing with your eyes.
Now, where's Nicki. We need to know what the docs said about Nicki's foot and CT scan. Or, have I missed her post?
Flyrzfan, I had Taxol. I was warned about how badly our feet could hurt. I was lucky. I only had bone pain for a few days. I hope you start feeling better. About all the confusion on what's fruits and what's veggies...Anything with a seed is fruit. I'm sure ya'll (southern) figured that out by now. That's the ONE thing I remember learning in school oh so many years ago. And, no one EVER asked me if I were pregnant before starting chemo or any other treatments. I feel slighted.
Of course I was only 58 when I was dxd. Oh, and I was a grandma.
My dh had a vasectomy when I was 27, after our third child was born (You can figure out the numbers on how long ago that was!). I wouldn't let him get one after the second one because I said WE WERE TOO YOUNG! Well, I got pregnant when my 2nd child was 8 months old! I remember sitting in the rocking chair with the new baby while dh took his mom back to Florida and crying. I thought, what am I going to do with three little ones. It's a good thing I had three cuz I love all of them. My second one is the only one who has given us grandbabies. My oldest one is not married and I don't think she wants children anyway. My third child is my gypsy child and I don't think she and her dh want any. They HAVE A LIFE! I tease them, but I feel if a couple doesn't want children that's there choice. Plus, it's cheaper to only have two grandkids..you know..Christmas, b'days, etc. End of story about having children...I told my dh right after my third one was born...get the vasectomy...NOW! I can't remember if I had to sign a paper, but I'm sure I did. After his surgery he wasn't too comfy. My friend and I were plotting to make him hurt even MORE for all he had put me through....three labors! Although it was too soon for sex (a roll in the hay) I decided that I'd put on my sexiest nightie to entice him into YOU KNOW WHAT. Seemed to me he'd have a little pain from...well, you know. It didn't work. He knew I was only teasing. And he knew he didn't want to get "worked up." LOL
Wish, sorry you didn't get any rain. Is that why you had to carry the hose around? I'm slow today. LOL Oh, but I'd love to have some good ole home grown veggies OR fruit (tomatoes).
Rock, I know your post wasn't funny when it was actually happening. But, you had me laughing. You are another one of those who has ways with words. I feel so inadequate.
I don't know why these medical people OR just people in general think that everyone wants to have kids. My dd says being around our grandkids is good birth control. And what stupid anesthesiologist who thought you couldn't get preg because you were having a period. Geez!
Isabella, what can I say. You are too funny! Tell your friends to get "fixed" so their parents will stop harping on them.
Hanna, how very intelligent of you for lucking up Sciencebob. I will have to try that. Darn, you were writing quite a sexy story there. I was almost afraid to finish your story. LOL
Lillith, you DO have a lot of suckiness going on right now! So, I'm going to say THAT SUCKS!
MissS, squash milkshake? I don't think so.
Darn, Harley, how big as that THING gotten. Next, you'll be wobbling around like your pregnant. Then you'll be glad you never got pregnant. Tell them Sonuvaguns to take out your innards! And, I hate peeing in a cup. It's not like we can just stand there. It ALWAYS (the pee) gets all over my hand. I HATE when that happens!
Debbie, that must have been scary when you got a call that you had an STD! My onc told me not to have a gyn exam during chemo. I suppose chemo can mess lots of "readings" up.
LuAnn, I'm laughing at your curiosity as to what's fruit and what's veggies. Remember, anytime there are seeds it's fruit. I don't know about the bananas. I forgot..did Hanna look that one up?
Hello, SherriM. Yep, you can say anything you want on this thread..well, almost anything. LOL I'm glad your dh had enough sense to not let you out of the house. There were times I'm sure mine would have liked to shove me out hoping I would not come back for several hours.
Jill, your children are also brilliant AND hungary!
Felicia, darn you ARE brave. You're really going to learn to ride that bike. My dd's met a guy who has a Harley..HI HARLEY! She loves riding on those dangerous things. There's also a sort of upscale biker place they go. I would have NEVER thought my dd would enjoy such an activity. After all, her hair gets messed up. I'm scared to death of those machines! I admire your bravery!
Nicki, there you are! Sooo glad your CT scan was clear. Two good newses..you and DebC. I wouldn't advise you to do the dance like that character you posted. Don't want you to refracture your foot. BTW, how is the foot?
Loved all the signs. The gasoline sign says it all!
You know what sucks? When I get on the puter and start reading the posts and TRYING to respond and then the darn phone rings! I hate that!
Hope everyone has a great day without too much suckiness!
Shirley
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I missed this page.
Felicia, you remind me of my 5 1/2 (1/2 is very important) year old gd. She's learning to ride her bike without the training wheels. When they come to town for a visit (every so many months) they bring her bike. They're driveway is like climbing up a mountain. They have to take her elsewhere to practice. Anyway, she is/was (don't know right now) having a very hard time getting on the bike and making it go without the training wheels. She gets sooooo angry. She pouts. I talk to her and tell her it just takes patience. I tell her SHE WILL learn to "start" the bike one day. Then, bless her little heart, she gets in trouble for acting "ugly." It's so nice being the grandmom. I don't get upset when she's upset with herself. But, her mom runs out of patience.
So, the moral of that story IS....YOU WILL learn to ride that huge, heavy bike. Just ask a grandma.
Shirley
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Thanks for the work empathy. (Rock, I love the "suggestions" for the letter - ha!!)
And while I was so caught up in my own stuff, DebC and Nicki had great news - WOO HOO!!
I do have another doc/nurse story to share but not mine. The same friend I mentioned yesterday was work today and got her finger slammed (and I do mean slammed) in a heavy door this afternoon. So, I volunteered to go with her, first to our medical clinic in the prison (as per work rules) and to the local ER. (For anyone who lives in CA, there is a reason we have a Federal lawsuit for medical care and I witnessed it today.) The RN who "helped" us in the clinic was hardly a nurse and not very helpful. (No offense, Nicki or any other RNs and my dh is one, too, but this was baaaad!) First, she asked my friend to remove the bandage another RN had put on and the injured finger was on her dominanat hand. When my friend had trouble with that, she looked at me. Oh, yes, let's ask the chemo patient with low WBC's and no gloves to remove the blood-soaked bandage (o.k., maybe not soaked, but still). So my friend finally gets it off while Ms. Helpful was getting a towel for the floor because my friend's ice bag for the swelling had begun dripping. Because the floor in the prison is so important. Now she's filling out the paperwork where she has to indicate on a one-dimensional person where the injury is and what it looks like. While looking at the finger in question she asks, "Is it swollen?" Well, I'm not sure, possibly it is since it's about three times the size of the other fingers! Then "Is it bruised?" Maybe that's why it's different colors!! My friend and just kept looking at each other, like is she INSANE?? Heelllloooo? Aren't YOU the nurse here?!
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You know what? If I am hellbound for laughing at the misery and IOS-ness that Shirley and Cris and others have described (it IS an empathetic laughter, I swear), then bring on the fires of eternal damnation. You women are amazing. And lord, I am grateful to you for your sense of humor. MAYBE I could get through this whole cancer thang without you women (not just Cris and Shirley, but every woman on this thread) but I am sure glad I will never have to find out. Dx 2/20/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage , Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Ok I am ready with a major "IOS" why the hell can't I sleep? I am always tired and ready for a nap at a moments notice. I find a way to not take the darn nap because I know I won't sleep at night. So night time comes and I get comfy and cozy in bed relaxing and I become wide awake! It is now 4:45 am and I can't sleep..... I take things to help, tried different sleeping drugs which i hate and was using my xanax which was helping for awhile and now nothing seems to help. I hate it because I am an absolute bitch to the kids because my patients is wearing thin. I don't take steriods or any of those drugs that would keep me up. So why the heck am I function on 15 to 20 minute catnaps??????? I can't stand this sleeplessness, in fact I love a good nights sleep. Who has stolen my sheep, I need them back!!!!
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Haha - that guy is doing a WTF dance!
OH and if someone here is writing IOC instead of IOS. That would be me. Im left handed here and sometimes I get a little confused lol.
Nicki
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well, good morning to you all, ladies with IOS. It is morning where I am , I hope you all are blissfully asleep.
As the day only starts, I have little to bitch about, save for being at work and feeling utterly useless given that I don't even have a position to speak of - in other words, right now they are paying to get rid of me legally. Jeez. Actually it would almost be funny if it wasn't so upsetting.
LuAnn... I guess I stole your sleep. Since some time, I guess I could sleep 12 hours a day... no I am not depressed, just sleepy and occasionally mad as hell. Wish I could send you some ZZZs.
Rock - I like your avatar. yes, coming here on this site and sharing laughs and cries is what makes it possible to live the rest of the day semi-normally. People keep saying how brave I am - no s***, it is only that I stop by here and share the suckiness with folks who care and know.
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LuAnn, I can't sleep either!!! I had a catnap between 2 and 4 am, then called my bank's automated account report to doublecheck my ATM withdrawals, paid checks, etc. and balanced my checkbook. Except somewhere there's a $5 error I can't figure out. Then I did a crossword puzzle. Did you know that Jim Morrison called himself "Mr Mojo Risin" and Vladimir Nabokov created a character named "Vivian Darkbloom" and that these are anagrams? I really thought that would put me to sleep, but here I am...
What's to blame? Aromasin? Anyway, I'm sure I'll be felled by a wave of sleepiness right about 9 AM... One really good thing about my job is that my boss is very accepting of strange biorhythms and a firm believer that people may need accomodate some weird personal sleep schedules -- from where I sit, bolt upright in the middle of the night! -- that's a godsend! So at the moment I can't complain about any of the sucky aspects of the job!
Cristine, I can't believe that "nurse"... well, unfortunately I CAN, which really sucks!!!
Nicki, woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!
Felicia -- va-va-VROOM!!!!! Do you already have your leather jacket?
Lilith, can they really do that at your job? Sucks...
Sorry to anyone I missed...
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Luann not sleeping sucks big time especially when you have to deal with children the next day. And some days I do me "deal" with children!
Last nite I woke up with the worlds worst headache! Felt like a tight bowl around the top of my head. Stumbled downstairs and took three asprin. got back into bed and remembed I still have percacet - pain meds can't spell - from my surgery. I was like "man I shoulda taken that! I would've slept and known the headache would go away" Doing better this morning except for my lower back which is in pain. thinking that's from running - at least I hope thats the reason if you ya know what I mean!
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Good Morning Ladies, another frigging hot day. I am really getting depressed. I am stuck in the house with nothing to do. They cut my hours at work and I am going stir crazy and cannot get motivated to do anything. There are so many on this list that are having a very hard time and I should be filled with gratitude but I'm not.
AlaskaDeb, another WHOHOOO! is definitely in order.
Otter, I believe it was you who recommend the book "Gone, Baby, Gone." I saw the movie last night and it was really good but the ending was sucky and depressing. I just watched an older movie "Flawless" where Phillip Seymor Hoffman played a drag queen. He was wonderful in the part. I think he has become my favorite actor. I have seen 4 movies with him recently just by chance.
Rock, I call those novels creamy, white thigh novels as the heroine always has them. When I had cancer in my 20's and was w/o sex for 4 years, I read a few of them. It was so unlike me, even my father teased me. My grandmother who was in her 80's devoured them. Is anyone here old enough to remember the magazines "True Confessions"? I found some in an old footlocker and spent the day in bed reading them. At 12 I remember them being so racy. They are so hilarious and tame now!
Sorry about all who can't sleep. I am sleeping just fine now except when I roll on to my stomach and wake up from the pain.
Take care and I hope all your IOS's are mininal to none.
Debbie
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MissShapen, Nicki and Lisa--the signs are awewome! Thanks!
Harley--WTF is wrong with your doc? My 29 yo dd found out she had uterine fibroids shortly before my surgery....her gyn basically told her that there were a few things they could try, but that hysterectomy was the ultimate solution, and that if she was interested in having children, they would refer her to a fertility specialist who would try to tx her and maintain her fertility. I don't think they came out and said this, but she had the impression that if she had said 'I don't want kids' they'd have scheduled the surgery then and there! Can you get a 2nd opinion?
LuAnnH--I feel your pain....my onc doubled my ambien dose and I'm still lucky to get 4 hours....course I'm still in the middle of chemo so it's probably from different causes....I read somewhere that chemo messes with your seratonin levels.....I wonder if you're AI does the same thing?
No major IOS here except I've gone from massive constipation to massive diarrhea overnight--did not pass GO, did not collect $200...(sorry if that's TMI)
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Debbie,
I saw that movie last night, too... Gone Baby Gone. After they found her, and returned her to her Mother, I just KNEW that woman was going to go back to her old ways... so sad!!
Well, I am hanging out here, just waiting to go back to work... I stopped by to see if they had given a birthday gift to this young girl who is working at the store. She is so sweet, and she will be 16!! Oh to be young again!! Anyway, they asked me to come back and work this afternoon... I hate that, because it really screws up your day! Now I have to sit here and wait til 12:00 to go back to work, and then I'll have to work til 6:00!! That is such a late day!!
Oh, AND my boss just asked me to work on WED., AUG. 13th... Does she NOT read the notes I leave her?? I told her that is the day I'm having the endometrial biopsy... I really think those people just don't have a clue!!
Well, hope everyone stays cool... it is so FREAKIN' HOT!!!
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IOS for me - headache! Woke up with the one last night - took asprin and it faded but not 100% and yup now it's back! Took two more asprin so hopefully it will take. Maggie has violin lessons so I can't put Samuel down for a nap til almost 1. Hopefully he'll sleep more than the 1.5 he's done the last two days! Man I love the days he sleeps 3! so I've got to get through the next 2.5 hours with a headache before I can rest!
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Sorry for the suckage, ladies. It all rots to hell! Here's mine:
In an effort to get the feel of the weight of the bike, I've been instructed by two biker friends to "walk" the bike out, start it and get it into first gear every day. Today the puppy wouldn't start at all
- and to add insult to injury, it fell on me as I was walking it back into the garage, wedging me between it and the lawn mower! That thing is HEAVY - and I was so embarrassed - even though only the spiders in the garage witnessed my plight. What the heck am I gonna do when it falls in the middle of the street and there are actually PEOPLE around to watch me struggle to pick the freaking thing up?!?I think I'ma sell it and go back to plan one: a nice, tame 250cc scooter...
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well I fell asleep around 3 am just in time for my son to call around 4 am. His hours in Iraq are crazy and it is the only time he can call. So I get back up, wake up his wife and the babies wake up and the dogs decide to wake up and want out. So til all settles down I fall asleep around 6 again and wanted to be somewhere at 9......guess I didn't make that, didn't move til almost noon. Oh well, MUGA test tomorrow so I have to be up early.
Felica don't worry about those spiders, I don't think they tattle.
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I'M REALLY MAD, MAD, MAD AT MYSELF!!! I'm actually losing my brain! I have lost my post TWICED because I clicked on a link I was doing for Jill and instead of using my back button I CLICK THE "x"..clicked off!
So, for now I'm not reposting. I need to get my half A$$ brain straight!
GEEZ! And I wanted to catch up before I had three pages to read! And I wanted to talk about women who laugh may have/get paralysis. I'll have to look that one up...I read something on the bottom of the screen on TV. I didn't hear it. I don't want my faced fixed in a laughter!Jill, this is the video I was trying to post that I screwed up my posts with. It's about migraines. this may not have one thing to do with yours. But I know you had heart surgery and this really has nothing to do with that. I also remember, I think, that you had strange things in your eyes (so do I) and I can't remember what your doc said. So, here's the link. And this time I will not click of the board.
DAMN, I'M SO PI$$ED and it's not even about doctors, nurses, bosses...it's about ME!
http://www.foxnews.com/video2/video08.html?maven_referralObject=2882871&maven_referral PlaylistId=&sRevUrl=http://www.foxnews.com/health/drrosenfeld/index.html
I clicked it and it worked. I'm not clicking it this time cuz I may forget and do you-know-what. And I can't get rid of these under lines! So, ignore them.
Shirley
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Hey ladies,
Sorry I had to delete part of the tale of Dirk...but my publisher told me I can't do that or void my contract.
Oh, I have nothing to say today. Everything sucks until further notice....
oops - wrong thread
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Shirley - thanks for the post. Little unnerving! don't think it had to do with my heart issue tho since I basically had a genetic (and as I type that I remember him saying it was probably genetic!) heart defect - I had a bicuspid valve which probably led to the dilation. Thanks for sharing it tho! And I'm sorry you had to go through so much frustration in order to do so!!!!!!!
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Oh so I learned it's not normal to feel like part of your head and face have fallen asleep - that tingly feeling - when you are running. Here I thought it was normal. Now that sucks.
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A quick and large "That sucks" to anyone that needs it.....sorry for headaches, and sadistic doctors, and brains that don't work right, Happy for normal scan times 2!!! YEAY!!!!
I am exhausted, worked a lot of hours today and going to bed soon to rest up for my LAST CHEMO tomorrow! WOOHOO!!!!
Later,
Sue
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Sue CONGRATS ON YOUR LAST CHEMO TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WARNING!!!! WARNING!!! THIS IS A THREAD HIJACKING (And I stole that from Rock) [If you have read this on another thread, I'm sorry and you may skip it, but I need to post it again.]
Just had the day from hell at work, broke down, sobbing at the end of a meeting I run. Great. Just the image I want people to have. My former supervisor (who had bc about 8 years ago) ends the meeting. (Good idea.) So as we're talking with a couple of other people still in the room, I share with her how part of this is because I have been getting more and more anxious about switching to Taxotere (I have one more tx tomorrow with Carbo and Cytoxan). So it goes like this:
S: Is that related to Taxol? (I think that's what she had 7-8 years ago.)
Me: Yes.
S: It'll be a piece of cake!
WTF???!! Excuuuse me...do you remember your chemo?? I'm not sure cake is on the menu. Now I know, generally, compared to the other meds, the taxanes are tolerated better, but they have their own se's that I would not say are CAKE!! And what I am worried about is being able to walk into and out of work (which is a third of a mile one way, from car to office).
But wait..there's more...a few minutes later, this gem:
S: You need to let go of this stress if you want to get rid of your cancer (or something similar to that - I'm too pissed to remember exactly).
WTH??!! Again, excuuuuse me?! So, are you saying the stress here at work gave me cancer, because I think I need to fill out a worker's comp claim!! I know this all came from a place of wanting to be helpful, but it just wasn't. My other friend, the one who is most likely leaving, gets it about as well as you all do and she has never had any cancer. She was sitting there with me (with her swollen, bruised and fractured finger) and we just looked at each other.
If ONE MORE PERSON tells me how to deal with my cancer/tx or how I should feel about something, I tell you I am not responsible for the damage I will do with my shovel!! Just tell me someone will come bail me out...
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Geez, Christine, like you need that kind of S***.
I had taxol (4xAC, 4xTaxol), and it ain't a piece of cake. the infusion itself is marginally easier, but a lot longer, and the SE IMHO were even more unpleasant. With AC I wasn't hungry. with taxol I was hungry but food (and wine) tasted like S***. pick your poison...
As for the stress, forget it. Only bright note, obviously your collegue got massive chemo-brain as she cannot recall any of all this...
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Good Morning. This will be my usual early morning pop in. Sending a big that sucks to everyone that needs one. Its a rough day on the boards.
DebC: Im thinking about you and just want to send a big IOS to you. Im so angry you are having to go through yet more tests and scary thoughts.
Cristine: Yep sounds like you had a day from hell. Thoughtless statements by your coworker. I remember well the fear I had when I switched from A/C to Taxotere. Weird, right when I got used to it, I was going to have to learn the new side effects to a new chemo. I dont think any chemo is a piece of cake. Giving you a big hearty that sucks.
OK - gotta run. My shower is calling me.
Nicki
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