Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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ok in defense of techs. even though we can generally read the pictures as well as the docs....not i repeat NOT allowed to say a word to the patient. it's grounds for instant dismissal especially in a hospital setting. some techs (myself included) at times will let the patient know. when i have an echo, the tech tells me everything but he knows i'm a former echo tech.and besides i can read the darn thing myself. many patients ask questions and that's why we sometimes point things out...some patients are interested. occas i would say to a patient..."oh i'm not allowed to tell you your test is normal, the doctor has to give you the results". but of course the patient has to have the sense to get what you're doing...gotta be careful. as a patient, i never try to get info from the tech but of course there are many things i know without me asking. hugs, maria
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Hi y'all,
{{{Diane}}} I hope you feel better soon. I had my first Taxol tx. today and I hated it.
{{{Felecia}}} deadbeat fathers suck. I could write a page on that myself, but I won't. We need a federal law concerning child support. They can't flee the state to get away from paying, and if they use their social security number - payment is automatically deducted from any check. Some states take away their driver's license if they are perpetual job hoppers (not stayling long enough to have a court order catch up to garnish wages.) or are caught being paid under the table. As for SSDI and working, you CAN work and earn up to a certain amount without losing benefits. (I am on SSDI.) Last year it was something like $775 per month could be earned. Working under any circumstances can set you up for loss of disability income. Everyone is reviewed periodically. I hope you find out something that can help you continue to get payment from somewhere.
{{{LuAnn}}} pain sucks and I hope you get the relief you need.
To the person who had something show up on her lung x-ray. I was scheduled to have a d&c for probable uterine cancer screening right before I started chemo for breast cancer. They cancelled the procedure, because I had cloudiness at the bottom of my lungs and the radiologist said I had pneumonia. Having had pneumonia several times, I knew I had no symptoms of pneumonia. I instantly thought the breast cancer had spread to my lungs. I asked them to fax the info to my pcp and he came to the phone as it was coming over his fax. He promised me it was NOT cancer. He didn't think it was anything serious, but said I could try a round of antibiotics in case there was a mild infection My oncologist took one look later in the week and said, "You just didn't take a deep enough breath. There is nothing wrong." I am in a wheelchair, and the techs were rushing the x-rays. I remember getting caught once without having taken a deep breath because they didn't tell me to, just said hold it. I hope your situation turns out to be nothing as well. Don't panic until someone who knows tells you what is going on. (I know this is easier said than done.)
I had my first Taxol tx today and I am miserable. I was so nauseous during treatment I couldn't eat lunch. Toward the end I began to have extreme abdominal pain. I fibbed that I was better to get out of there, but it is 6 1/2 hours later and I am still in extreme pain. I finally broke down and called my onc. She was not on call and someone I didn't know returned my call. He didn't know why I could be having abdominal pain (although several websites do refer to it as a possible side effect), didn't seem to care and gave me the general "go to the ER if it doesn't let up or gets worse." He did give me permission to take Lortab (as I am running no temp, so the tylenol in the Lortab would be o.k.) I have taken 2, and the pain has went down maybe 5%. My heart rate has also dropped 16 beats per min.
Anyone else experience abdomimal pain on Taxol? I have a high pain tolerance and this is as bad as the gallbladder pain I had when I had stones stuck in the common bile duct and my pancreas and liver were shutting down. I can miss a few meals with no harm done, but I am also having difficulty drinking anything. I feel very bloated and as if there is no room for anything. My onc promised this would be easier than A/C which was not terrible for me.
On the good news front, my blood counts were up except my hemoglobin is still low. Also as the bills have begun to flood in, I have been contacting doctors/hospitals about making minimum payments etc. I called this one doctor who called on me during my first hospital stay in July. I dearly loved him. He was funny, caring and extremely concerned about my cancer diagnosis. (He was treating my cellulitus.) His billing person said I could pay whatever I could afford each month, no problem. She called me back ten minutes later to say she had discussed it with him and he remembered me. He said I had much more to worry about that his fee and he would be happy to write it off, and to please contact him if he could do anything for me. I cried.
A big THAT SUCKS to all who are not feeling well, are in pain or worried about a test or scan. To the Las Vegas girls - have a grand time.
Love to all,
~Bliss
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HI everyone:
Both IOS and SOI today - IOS: when herceptin was started yesterday I was chilled and had stomach cramps. All vitals were normal and they added a liter of saline to dilute, as they had done before. This was tax/herceptin # 8 - 4 more to go. Once I got home I ate a small meal and crashed in the recliner. Now the steroid buzz in on.. . UGH.
But on the SOI side: we had a last chemo party for Nadine and ate lots of semi healthy junk food, including chocolate and there were 2 veggie trays. They let us camp out together as I sat in the corner recooperating from the stomach cramps and chills.
About eating: when my husband was in Stage 4 lung cancer, they pointed out that eating takes a lot of energy, and digesting it also. He was able to drink Ensure through a straw - I added a spoon of peanut butter and sometimes ice cream - mix in the blender. Egg whites are high in protein, as is cottage cheese. Put cott ch in eggs and chop up and put on a fiber cracker or high fiber bread for the constipation... I am always glad to get food suggestions, as I live alone and have to fend for myself.
Oh goodness, I HAVE to comment on person who went home just to get out of there -- the hospital setting IS the only place that can monitor what is going on and IF you are having a reaction - STAY, tell them, check it out. Dont wait to get home and then have to go to ER... You do know that the ER does triage -- those who are in dire need get in first, and that is AFTER those who arrive in an ambulance --- and their idea of dire need varies a LOT... Reactions to meds can show up at any time. I was on one antibiotic for 5 days before I went into shock, but had felt "odd" from day one. I should have known, since I had previous anti biotic reactions. Now that I live alone, I am terrified I will have something happen that I cannot control. So, speak up, check it out and use THEIR expertise for deciding if it is a serious thing or not.
THAT SUXS for those who are having a SUCKY day/night. Issues in life --- THAT SUCKS also. I got a HUGE medical bill that was not submitted to insurance -- the phone waiting game - press one, "your call is important", but finally got them to submit to insurance...
I can see this is gonna be a long steroid buzz day... woke up at 2 am and I am raring to go... I always get my laundry caught up, desk cleared off, papers shredded that need it and others filed away in proper places.. and too long a post on this thread... lolol...
Gentle HUGS, Peace and BLESSINGS, and Good luck for a better day. Nancy
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Hi to everyone. Just marking my spot. A big that sucks to all who need one today. Off to work and catch up with ya later.
Nicki
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Morning and a big that sucks to all, hopefully it will be a non-sucky Friday!
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Ok all, here's my soi and ios for the day.
I finished year 1 of tamoxifen - YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Another 4 years of using a condom to go. SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Gentle Hugs and That sucks to all,
Trish
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hey girls----I missed you!!! There are pages andpages of posts, so i will try and start from here.
Vision is still crappy so my typing looks like a drunken m0onkey has been at my computer.
I am sorry for everyones sucky news....cancer just sucks all the way around.
Now for my crap....
2 brain surgeries to get the port put in my brain cause the doc who put it in first screwed up and refused to check with a scan. He shoved the end of the tube right through area it belonged and then left it where it caused me all kind of side effects. After the 2nd surgery most things are better, but my vision is still screwed up,,,,,,arrogant doctors suck!
I am just sick of trying to be little mary sunshine when I feel more like Cruella DeVille!
Glad to be back, I will try and keep up.
Hugs
Deb C
By the way....what is a "sio" ???
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SOI... suckiness of the inverted kind... something... like the opposite of an IOS... a good thing... !!!!
So sorry you're dealing with an arrogant doc.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Hope you're feeling MUCH better SOON!!!!
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DebC - I'm soooo glad to see you! I had been thinking about you last night, so I'm really glad you posted. But your suckiness, just, well, SUCKS!
Marking my spot for later - gotta run and pick up dd from school!
THAT SUCKS!!
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To all the Vegas-gowers: have a great time and toss a nickle in the slots for me, please
My ex just left a voice message. He said "I'm trying to get in touch with M. If you see him can you let him know I called?" IF I see him?!? WTF? I SEE - and feed, clothe, take for haircuts, talk to, check homework for, play games with - the kid every day, unlike his sorry a$$. If I see him?!?
But I do have an SOI to report: tomorrow is my four year cancerversary! Only 17 months of tamoxifen to go! Whoo-Hoo!
And a hearty "That SO Suks!" to all who need it.
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Hey everybody,
I don't have much time so.....Yea! to those with good news...
I'm so sorry.... to those with sucky news.....cancer does suck. BAD.
Diane, I'm so freaking glad you are handling the hair thing so well. Soooooooooooo glad. You go girl!
Hugs, gotta run...be back tomorrow.
ps Felicia, why don't you pull some Tai Kwon Do on that jerk???? (I know I didn't spell that right!)
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Obviously, Ex's who treat their children like crap suck, doctors who cause double vision and extra surgeries because of their ineptitude, suck, chemo nausea and other SEs suck, rad burns suck (I still have the tan line), and having new scans suck.
Moms who care, people living with cancer, folks going to Las Vegas, cancerversaries, and good docs who fix what the crap ones do, rock.
Here's my crap: Met with my surgeon yesterday. What a guy - we love him. He's also operating on MIL tomorrow morning - we think we should get a family discount. So, the consensus is that I go under the knife on the 24th. We are hoping that there isn't anything else there but nasty little LCIS cells, but the possibility remains that there could be something invasive. At least I'll have symmetrical scars - one on each boob.
Told the kids and mom and the in-laws. Since we were quizzing the doc about MILs surgery and it's aftermath, we kind of felt that my news couldn't be kept quiet & the ILs would know soon enough. Trying to keep positive sucks big time.
Here's my SOI. My #1 daughter has, as I told her jokingly, fulfilled all of my dreams for her - she was voted Class Clown of her senior class. My darling, my angel, my freakazoid child. We don't know where we got her from. #2 daughter says there is no way she can top that - other than by continuing her perfect ways (no glasses, no surgeries - the only one in the family to say that).
Wishing nothing but SOI for the weekend.
pam
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I think it's "Suckiness Otherwise Inverted".....I think.
DebC, SO good to see you posting again. I've been checking on you and reading your blog. You seem to be such a loving lady with many supportive friends and family members. Cancer does suck, it really does.
I have to decide about the Tamoxifen this week. My onc didn't mention checking that I could metabolize it correctly, and I am not seeing her again until December. I think I'll just try it out and see how I feel? Opinions? I've done the research and want to reduce the risk as much as I can....maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones that isn't made miserable by it.
One can only hope.
Sue
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Hey, Sue...the onc I saw Tuesday said that the good thing about Tamoxifen is that you can start it, see how it goes, and if it's not working, you can stop it. Since all I had was DCIS, that's all I can take. I'm willing to take the risk that the benefits will outweigh any problems.
I hope.
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This is what I would like to say to all those arrogant doctors who dont listen to us!
Sue: Are you getting rads now too? I just cant believe everything you have been going through. It really sucks. Im not on any aromatase inhibitors, nor tamoxifen cause Im er/pr negative. I voting for you being one of the lucky ones who doesnt have side effects! How is the leg pain going. When I read your post I remembered quite distinctly that I was miserable 6 weeks after chemo. Crying to my husband telling him "I thought I was supposed to get better."
Pam: Reading about your daughter being voted class clown did make me laugh. You should indeed be proud of her. Way too much going on with you and yours. Im glad you are having the surgery soon. Dont like LCIS myself - its sneaky. A big that sucks you have to go through surgery again. I really hate this breast cancer. Just hate it.
Felicia: We all need to get out our shovels, dig a big hole and take care of that ex once and for all. Having to deal with someone that is such a jerk really sucks.
DebC: It was so good to come home and see a post from you. Still having the blurred vision sucks so much. Having an arrogant neurosurgeon sucks more!
Cristine and Shari: Hi to you and hoping there is no suckiness for either of you tonight.
Trish: Big congratulations to you.
Colleen: Always good to see you. Hoping all is good as you deserve it.
Traci: I see you did a pop in!
Diane: You are so gosh darn pretty. Having to buzz your head gets a big that sucks!
My day was good. No IOS or SOI. Just the same old, same old. Glad its Friday and at least I have this week-end off. Catch up ya all later.
Nicki
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Yes, you can hope, sue, to metabolize and get the protection. Only thing about not testing it, is that if you DON't get SE's, often that's the reason, as it's not working, although there are some who do metab, but don't get too bad of SE'. Hard to decide I'm sure. It's a simple blood test, why not do it and be sure? I mean, if you don't metabl,then you are wasting time and money on something and getting little or no protection from future recurrances!? I HATE having to decide these things. THey should be black and white and never are! CANCER DECISIONS SUCH! So sorry..they do! Sticking D's suck too!
Hm...DEB! So dern good to read your posts! Hang in there girl, prayers continue daily for your recovery to full sight soon and that nasty dizziness to go far, far away! Hope it's getting better daily! wishicould read your blog, but alas, my puter must be broke somehow
{{Pam}} prayers for you MIL and your family as well as for you surgery, may they do it one surgery and be certain it's out! No messing around, out of there! Good luck!
Felicia~ Too funny! Do you ever reply, 'yeah, IF I see him' What a d*ckhe@d~ Geepers, some men are really ignorant...mostly they are ex's that are like that one, though. Hope your ds has other male role figures to learn what a real man is. Good luck with that!
My IOS...just a dang P*ssy mood that won't leave me the last 2 days. Almost PMS like. WTH is up with that! I'm near tears, feeling sullen, not happy about anything, sad, withdrawn, don't want to deal with anyone or anything. I need to find a bra and boob for a job I got, but have to travel 2 hours to get them. The only ones around here, are the old binder her up styles that I will NOT wear! For cripes sakes, I'm 50, not 90~ I hate that I have to LOOK for a bra, let alone a mast bra! I hate that I have to find a freaking BOOB to even wear a bra! I hate that I can't just go to a job, without wondering if someone will wonder why I have one boob and what happened ot the other without wearing a bra! I hate bras, and now with a boob missing, its a necessity. EVIL bras! EVIL CANCER~ Evil mood....EVIL has become my friend...I want him out, gone! I hate EVIL~
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Nicki,
I AM getiing rads now, only five more to go! The leg and hip pain has moved to the knees and my big toenails are falling off. But I am Happy! I feel just a molecule better and stronger every day. I am almost two months out from chemo now and today I was standing outside and I felt this weird sensation--it was the wind in my hair!
Wonderful feeling!
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OMGOSH! Nicki, too funny! Where do you find those things?
Hair in the wind! It's funny how something so simple can feel so great! Good for you for realizing that, b/c sometimes we get numbed to the good things....and we need those little good things to make up for all the suckiness!
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Sue: You gave me goose bumps, as I really remember the first time I felt the wind blow in my hair. Glad your starting to feel better and almost done with RADS.
Wish: I dont know, I type in something and you should see all the pictures that come up. I typed in "funny" and found this. Loved it - as it says it all.
OK - off to dinner.
Nicki
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Just getting dx of brain mets SUCKS! I just finished Herceptin in May and reconstruction surgery in August. I thought I'd get a break but not to be!
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{{EGAL}} You are so right! THAT SUX! So sorry
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This is such a big thread. I am not keeping everyone straight long enough to make a big long SOI, IOS thing. So if it Sucks - Im sorry, and if it doesnt Im happy for you.
I am one of the Vegas goers and am packed and ready... for Sunday. I have not been on vacation or travelled for 30 yrs. The flight should be a panic... hope they treat my scooter well. Am looking forward to seeing if the dry air is easier to breathe (I have lung mets).
My friend Jacqueline who I met a couple of times, called every other day has disappeared from the hospital. I fear the worst. It is not just a room change. I have her phone number but cannot bring myself to call it. So I guess that SUX.
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Nicki - that has to be the funniest picture yet, I am laughing and laughing looking at it.
I actually had a good night, a bunch of moms came over and we ate and drank some wine. My IOS is that I've been working like a lunatic all week, haven't had much time online, and am too tired to really do a leisurely read tonight. So, not really all that sucky on the scale of suckiness.
I have some time scheduled to catch up tomorrow, so I'll see you then...
Diane - I'm sorry, but I'm glad you took things into your own hands.
Felicia - your ex makes my ex look like freakin' Ward Cleaver.
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Nicki - LOVE that picture!! ROTFLMAO!!!!
Sue - Hair in the wind is AWESOME!!!
Felicia - I think that ex of yours needs an inside-inside kick to the youknowwhats! Dork.
EGAL - Wow. So SUCKS.
Diane - You are beautiful!! Love the mohawk look!
Dream - I hope things are okay with your friend. And that you can enjoy Vegas! This is a good time of year there.
Wish - Sorry you're feeling haunted by the EVIL.
Pam - Hope all the surgeries go well.
My IOS/SOI - Had my LAST chemo yesterday (that's the SOI - duh!) IOS - starting the feel the crappy part, but it's the LAST time!!! Woooohooooo!!!!! Now on to rads...
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Wanting to quickly stop by and send good wishes to LuAnn, Saint, and Dreamer - who will be having a wonderful time is Las Vegas. You will surely be missed around here. I guess that Is my IOS of the day.
Im in a funky mood, but did want to pop in and say big congratulations to Cristine. The day finially came when you could say you had your last chemo.....indeed a good feeling. Was glad to hear from Colleen and being too busy to come one the computer....thats a good thing. Feeling bad and letting EGAL know that being newly diagnosed with brain mets....that sucks so much. To all that I have missed...sending out a big that sucks if you need one today.
Im full of negative energy today....need to go do something to work it off.
Nicki
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My friend Jackie did indeed pass away. I am glad that I know this before Vegas because I would have worried about her all through the trip. I tried to be a good friend to her but in some ways I was not. As her breathing became more and more laboured, I began calling less and less. I went from daily to every other day. And then 3 days between calls. I know that I have the same mets as her and I could see my future... and I dont know if I could pull it off to be as courageous, caring and honest as she was. Her husband said she looked forward to my calls and now I feel like I let her down.
AND THAT SUX BIG TIME
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Hi everyone. Trying to catch up on all the IOS and SOI. T H A T S U C K S for your IOS and smilies for your SOI. Also, prayers go out as I read each of your posts.
I have nothing much to report today - toe nails on big toes have lifted so I snipped them off to prevent anything getting under and causing problems. No pain - just weird.
Have a good day/night and Hugs. Nancy
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Hi Y'all,
{{{Deb C}}} If going through all this wasn't bad enough, to have an incompetent surgeon create such a nightmare for you is beyond the pale.
{{{eGAL}}} so sorry to hear your news. We hold you in our hearts and prayers.
{{{Dream}}} I'm sorry about your friend, but glad you found out. Don't beat yourself up over less calls. Sometimes one doesn't know what to do as the end nears, does the person need more rest and less calls? Everyone is different. At least you did keep in touch, and this could not have been easy when your friend had the same mets as you.
(((Diane}}} congrrats on the haircut and the nerve to post. My bald head is not beautiful, it has some funny ridges, and my 15 year old says I look like Dr. Evil - lol. One of these days we will have the wind blowing in our hair again.
{{{Pam}}} - big hugs. You have so much on your plate right now with all the surgeries. Don't forget to take care of you. Praying all goes well for everyone.
{{{Nancy}}} I really thought it was safe for me to leave the hospital, because their recliners are so danged uncomfortable. With Secondary Progressive MS, if I sit too long in one position my muscles turn to concrete and the pain level goes way up. I thought once I got into my wheelchair where I could move around more, and got home I would feel much better. My chemo nurse and I talked about it the next day when I returned for my Neulasta shot. He suggested I ask for a lower dose.
{{{Wish}}} I hope you feel better soon. Dark moods or whatever it is that haunts us at times are EVIL. Prayers and hugs coming your way. You are always kind about making others feel better.
Today the abdominal pain seems to be somewhat better, but the bone pain has started and it's the pits. It is mostly in my legs today. I am used to pain in my legs never being less than a 6 due to muscle spasms. Bone pain is different, and hard to ignore. I don't want to live on pain meds, but I can't even think clearly between chemo brain and pain. Who said Taxol was easier? My onc is crazy, she said it would be so much easier. Anyone with any Taxol advice, I would gladly take it. I wonder if I should suggest a lower dose weekly instead of the huge dose I am getting every other week? Anyone with experience with this? Right now I want to say no more - find something else - but I know it isn't always that easy. This sux.
A big THAT SUCKS to all who need it. I am sorry to anyone I missed. My brain feels like scrambled eggs today. Nothing very coherent wants to come out.
Love to all,
~Bliss
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Bliss try more fluids, maybe see if you can come in the day after tx just for fluids. Sometimes that will help flush the harsh toxins from your body faster and ease the bad s/e. I had a dear friend that always went in for fluids after tx and it also made her feel better because she dehydrated so much from tx. I wish I could help more, just look at the bright side, how many down and how many to go? It iwll be done in no time and you will be giving advice.
Dream, sorry you lost your friend, as the end draws near it is just so difficult to deal with things. What do you say to someone you know is dying and will be dead soon? Very tough choices, you were there for her and thats what counts.
Egal, mets sucks no matter what but remember my PM and ask for anything you need.
DebC I always love to see a post from you, can't wait til your vision is back to normal
Diane, you are so pretty bald, not alot of people can pull it off and you are one of them. Brave woman you are posting the ultimate buzz experience! Can you tell me when you are ever going to answer your phone.
Lets see, that is all I can remember because everybody else's IOS is on the other page. I don't know if I will be back here til after Vegas, lets hope I have a huge SOI and that I win lots of money. Just so you all know I am always good about sharing my good fortunes so good thoughts for us ladies to break the Vegas banks and not our own bank accounts! LOL
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{{Nicki}} so sorry you caught the funky mood, girl!
Hope it wasn't contagious and you got it frrom me {{Dreamw}}, so sorry to read of your friends passing. I only want to add, that I'm sure she wasn't keeping track of when you called, only thankful for the times you did. Have you talked to her dh yet? Perhaps he could use the call after things settle down at their home?
Nancy? Oh weird! I heard A/C was difficult, but losing nails has to be or so difficult, I think that's creepy and just plain harder than SE's from A/C was! So sorry to read about your snip need
{{Bliss}} Just said the same thing...dang, so sorry you have that bone pain and are feeling so poorly. Seems there should be something they can do to lessen it for you
LuAnn! You go girl! Break that Vegas bank and bring home the bacon, eggs and toast, lady!
Lots of mulah for granny! Wouldn't it be cool if you each won big time and could celebrate in style! Enjoy the time, and don't worry, we'll be here waiting patiently for you to return! 
DEB! KEEP IT UP LADY, POSTING AND REPORTS ON GOOD THINGS, WE LOVE TO HEAR IT! HOPING SOON YOU'RE SEEING STRAIGHT AND FEELING OH SO BETTER!
"that sucks TO ALL.....listen to my crap! Honestly, I have none today! I'm feeling better and the mood has lefted, although in it's place was some ovary type pain and headaches last night
I'm really hoping that darn ovary isn't try to kick start, b/c I do NOT want that! UGH!So, good weekend to all and to all a great day!
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